Awakenings - SF1 (47 page)

"So, how do you like working with Ryan?" she asked after Mia came into her room.

"I like it a lot, James. You were right; she is really good at what she does. And she's a lot of fun too," she conceded. "I guess I should just accept your view of people and save myself some trouble."

"I'm really glad you like her, Mia. I knew that you two would get along, being that you're my two favorite people." Mia smiled at her friend, pleased by the confirmation of their long friendship.

After they were presentable they settled on a Thai restaurant within walking distance. During dinner Jamie grew pensive and finally asked, "Do you guys think it's odd that Jack can't tell me why he loves me?"

Mia looked at Ryan who returned the gaze. They mouthed "Oh, Oh," in unison, as they laughed. Mia spoke first, "I guess that doesn't really surprise me," she replied. "Guys are not great at that kind of thing." She paused for a minute, "Let me guess, his answer was either 'Gee, I don't know, I just do', or it was about how you make him feel," she said presciently.

"Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner," Jamie replied. "His answer, and I quote, was 'I love how you make me feel when we're together'. " She let out an aggrieved sigh. "It makes me feel like I have to guess how he feels and just assume I'm right."

"Well, that is the safest course," Mia agreed with a slight chuckle.

Jamie noticed that Ryan had not responded, and was in fact gazing down at her meal, deep in thought. She decided to drop the subject and they began to discuss their workouts and the ride and other topics of mutual interest. At about 7:30 Mia announced that she was meeting some friends for a movie. Both Ryan and Jamie declined the invitation to join the crowd and Mia took off after hugging both of them goodbye.

After they had settled the bill they began to walk down Telegraph. The street was still filled with the merchants who set up tables along the sidewalk and they browsed for a long time. After they had turned down a quieter street Jamie suggested they stop for a coffee. They found themselves at 'Sufficient Grounds', Jamie's favorite spot. They received their respective lattes and settled into a table.

Jamie noticed that Ryan was still a little reserved, so she finally asked, "What's bothering you? You were so up before dinner, and now you seem a little sad."

Ryan looked down at her coffee and shrugged her shoulders a little. "I don't know if I should talk about it," she finally replied.

"Should or want to?" she asked. "If something is bothering you, I want to know about it, unless y
ou don't want to talk about it,
" she said firmly.

Ryan looked up with those deep blue eyes and stared at her intently for a long minute. "It's about what you said about Jack," she finally revealed. "It hurts me that he isn't able to make you feel better. I want you to have a great relationship. I really want you to be happy and fulfilled, Jamie," she said sincerely as their eyes locked again.

"I appreciate that more than I can say, Ryan," she said as she patted her friend's folded hands. "I know I shouldn't be so hard on him. Maybe I just didn't give him time to think."

Ryan shook her head a little. "That's what I was doing in the restaurant. It only took me a moment to think of what I love about you," she said with an embarrassed little smile.

"Tell me," Jamie said simply as she grasped her hands as they continued to stare into each other's eyes.

"Okay," she began hesitantly. "I love how you treat other people. You have a ton of empathy for others, and it's very genuine. Not just a token. You're thoughtful and kind and very considerate. I've never heard you make a derogatory comment about anyone. Not even Cassie who certainly deserves a few," she laughed. "I love your intelligence and your sense of humor. You have a really quick mind and I love to see you work on a problem. I appreciate how much you love language and literature, and how deep your knowledge is on the topic. You make me laugh more than anyone I know, and that's saying a lot," she smiled. "I love how interested you are in other people and topics that you aren't familiar with. You have a real love of life and you're really open to new experiences." She thought for a minute as she continued, "The bottom line though, is your heart. Your compassion and love for other people constantly impresses me. It's what I love the most about you." As she finished she looked up to see tears forming in Jamie's eyes. She pulled one of her hands from Jamie's grasp and laid it on top of hers as she smile tenderly at her.

"That was the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me," she finally choked out. "But do you know what the funny thing is?"

Ryan shook her head a little as she cocked it in a question.

"As you spoke I was thinking that every trait you ascribed to me was exactly how I would describe you," she said sincerely. "I've never met anyone who is as connected to their feelings as you are Ryan. That is such a gift. I hope you find someone that you can share it with who really appreciates it."

Ryan looked a little surprised but finally replied, "That's part of the reason I'm so happy tonight."

"What do you mean?" Jamie asked, a bit confused.

"I've been thinking a lot about love and relationships lately. I was bothered by the interaction that I had with that older woman. That's why I snapped at you when you called me on it," she admitted with a bashful grin. "But I had some time to really reflect due to the time off from school. And I think you're right Jamie. I have been avoiding real intimacy. I'm worried that if I keep avoiding it I won't be able to be intimate when I feel I'm ready. So I'm going to try to find a real girlfriend and stop my serial dating."

"Anyone is mind?" Jamie inquired lightly.

"Yeah, as a matter of fact. It's someone you know," she revealed.

"Who?" she asked, really confused.

"Tracy Stuart, from class," she explained. "You know her, right?"

"Yeah, I know her."
Boy do I ever know her
. From the first day of class Jamie had been impressed with the tall, lean brunette. It was a toss-up between Ryan and Tracy for who was more beautiful, but Tracy had a sleek, smooth feminine grace that was mesmerizing. Jamie had often thought that Ryan and Tracy would make a knock out couple, but she had never seemed interested in Ryan. "How did you make a connection with her?" Jamie finally asked.

"Well, I tried to talk to her one day just after school started, but she shot me down fast," she said with an embarrassed grin. "She was dating another woman, so I didn't approach her again. A couple of weeks ago I heard that they had broken up and I tried to talk to her again." Here she looked a little embarrassed. "She told me that she had no intention of being just a stop on the O'Flaherty Express," Ryan blushed at being called at her game. "I thought about that a lot the last couple of weeks. But after that encounter with the woman from the gym I just decided that I had to stop sleeping with everyone who caught my eye. I called her on Saturday and she agreed to have coffee with me," she said happily. "You know, Jamie, this is the first woman I have pursued in years," she said as she blushed again.

"So what happened?" Jamie asked, beginning to get a little nervous.

"We talked for a long time. I confessed that she really had my number." She paused for a moment. "But then I asked her if she would go out with me if I promised not to see anyone else and I promised to remain open to having a real relationship." She looked up at Jamie. "I had no idea that I was going to offer that, but she really is something Jamie. I don't remember the last time I was this attracted to a woman," she shyly revealed.

"So did she agree right then?"

"Nope," she said happily. "She made me wait until today. She called me this afternoon and agreed to go out with me tomorrow evening." She laughed a little, "She also told me in no uncertain terms that when she said 'go out' she meant 'go out'." Here she gave a bemused chuckle, "I don't think I'm going to 'have my way' with this one for quite a while," she drawled.

"Are you okay with that?" Jamie asked with a laugh. "I know you have 'needs' that you are used to having filled."

"I think my overactive libido could use a rest," she reflected.

"This could give you a chance to get to know yourself and discover what's really important to you in a relationship," Jamie said thoughtfully.

"Oh, believe me, if she makes me wait too long, 'Knowing myself' will not be a problem," she said as she laughed at Jamie's deep blush.

On the first Friday after Thanksgiving break Jamie walked into Jack's apartment and was astounded to find him setting the table for dinner. She smelled something cooking but she was too shocked to even try to guess what it was. "Hi," he said brightly when he saw her.

"Uhh, hi," she managed to get out. "What's up?"

He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her tightly. "I've been giving a lot of thought to what you said on Thanksgiving and I've really resolved to do something about it. I don't want to have a marriage like my parents, Jamie. But I have been falling into their patterns. I'm sorry that you got so frustrated before you told me but I'm glad you told me eventually."

"I had no idea that you even took me seriously," she said in wonder. "I can't tell you how good it makes me feel to know that you care enough to try to change."

"Jamie," he said softly as he lifted her chin with his fingers, "Your opinion of me matters tremendously. You're the most important person in my life. Don't you know that?"

She rested her head on his chest and let herself just sink into his embrace. His strong arms completely enveloped her and she felt warm and loved for the first time in weeks. "Thank you," she said softly. "Thank you for everything."

The following Monday morning Ryan walked up to Jamie after class and asked, "Juice?"

"Sure," Jamie agreed, very thankful that Ryan did not stop their little breaks together even though she was getting close to Tracy. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the good looking brunette talking to a group of women. "Would you like to ask Tracy to join us?" she asked with just a moment of hesitation.

"Um...I guess I could. But I like having time alone with you," she said firmly. "So I wouldn't mind asking her once in a while but I don't want to make a habit of it."

Jamie smiled sweetly up at her friend as she shook her head. "You are such a sensitive woman, Ryan O'Flaherty," she said fondly. "I really like having time with just you also, but I'd like to get to know her a little. Is it okay?"

"Sure. I'll ask her," she said with a winning smile as she sauntered over and gently placed her hand on Tracy's back. The dark head turned to regard her and Jamie watched as Tracy's face broke into a big smile. Seconds later both women were walking her way. "Ms. Stuart has accepted our invitation," Ryan said with mock formality. "Our usual?"

"Perfect," Jamie said with a smile.

After a few minutes of topical conversation Jamie hopped up from the table to buy another round of juice for her always thirsty friend. Ryan had whipped through her two bottles and was eyeing Jamie's rather hungrily so since it was her turn to buy Jamie strolled over to the vending machines to purchase another cranberry juice.
I am amazed by how natural Ryan seems with her
, she mused during her short walk.
I thought she'd have the predator persona but she doesn't at all. Hmm, maybe she puts that on only when she has a woman alone
. She considered this idea but reminded herself,
No, she was very predatory with the women she picked up during class. Having an audience sure didn't seem to stop her then
. She inserted her dollar bill in the juice machine and made her selection. After removing the bottle from the tray she turned to return to the table. A smile crossed her lips as she watched Ryan gently flirting with Tracy. She wasn't up to her usual tricks, however. She was just smiling shyly at something the gorgeous brunette had said. Her eyes were half lidded and also reflected rather innocent shyness. Tracy obviously appreciated this new attitude as she playfully touched the tip of Ryan's nose. But there was still a little predator left as Jamie watched a feral grin come over her friend's features just before her mouth snapped open to grab Tracy's index finger between her perfect white teeth.

Jamie set the bottle down on the table, admonishing her friend, "I've brought more calories, Buddy. You don't have to resort to cannibalism."

Ryan just gave her a rakish look as she tamely released her prey. Tracy leaned over and patted her gently on the cheek, murmuring, "Good girl."

She turned to Jamie and twitched her head in Ryan's direction and asked, "How long have you and blue eyes here known each other?"

"Mmm, just since class started," Jamie informed her.

Tracy blinked a little at that bit of information. "Gosh, I thought you'd known each other for years. You just seem so close."

"We are," Ryan said, locking her eyes onto Jamie's. "Jamie's the best friend I've ever had."

The misty green eyes did not waver as Jamie echoed her thoughts. "Best class I've ever taken," she said with a small smile. "I've learned a lot and got a best friend in the bargain."

Tracy gave each woman a long appraising look as they grinned at each other seemingly unaware of her presence.