Awakenings - SF1 (52 page)

"Oh, I thought maybe I'd been away from church too long and I missed something important," he laughed.

Maeve came up behind him at that moment and stated, "You have been away from church too long sweetheart. The last time I saw you there was Easter," she gently chided.

Ryan took Jamie by the arm and whispered, "Let's get out of here before she starts on me." They squeezed through the mass of relatives until Ryan spied her prize. She snatched Caitlin from her Aunt Peggy and eventually found the path to her room.

Duffy followed them down the stairs, eagerly sniffing at the bundle in Ryan's arms. When they got downstairs she sat down on the bed and allowed Duffy to lick the baby's giggling face clean.

"Duffy sure is good with her," Jamie observed. "He seems to know he has to be very gentle."

"Yeah, he loves kids more than I do. Luckily Caitlin is crazy about him too," she replied as the big dog started to clean the tiny hands one at a time. "Okay Duff, you've had enough baby kissing," she said as she scooped her off her lap and over her shoulder. She went to her dresser and took out a clean T-shirt, which she placed over her shoulder and chest. "Can't be too careful," she said from experience. "She just had dinner and there's always a chance of rejection."

They all sat on the bed as Ryan propped the baby up against her legs. "So what have you been up to this week?" Jamie asked.

"Not a lot during the week but I had a great weekend!"

"What did you do?"

"Conor has a friend with a condo up near Tahoe and we went up to ski and snowboard for the weekend. It was absolutely fantastic," she said with a very happy grin covering her lovely face.

"I can't imagine what a hellion you must be on the slopes," she mused. "Do you ski a lot?"

"Every chance I get," Ryan admitted. "If I had just a little less of a work ethic I could really be a ski bum."

"That would be a pretty sweet job for you," her smirking friend admitted. "You could live in Aspen or St. Moritz and have the wealthy women support you in the style you deserve."

"Hmm, maybe this work ethic thing isn't such a good idea," she purred as she considered the suggestion. "Well, that's enough about me. I really want to know how it's going for you so far?" Ryan asked her friend.

Jamie considered how much to reveal, finally deciding that she needed to talk. "I had to chug a glass of Scotch to get through dinner one night, and I told Jack a blatant lie today," she grimaced as she continued, "All in all, not great."

Ryan thought about this for a moment. "Did you enjoy being with your family in the past? Or is this a new development?"

Jamie knew the answer, but was a bit embarrassed to admit it. "I didn't mind before because I thought that was what families were supposed to be like. But after spending time with you and your family I see how stilted and formal my family is. I swear, Ryan, your family shows much more interest in me than my own does."

Ryan smiled at her sympathetically. "We love having you here, Jamie. I think of you as a part of my family. You're always welcome." She shook her head briefly, "I feel sorry for your parents. They don't know what a treasure they have in you."

As she blushed shyly at the compliment Jamie replied, "In their defense, it is me who has changed. I want more from them and I want more from Jack. In a way it's a bit unfair of me, I'm the one who changed the rules."

"It's never unfair to expect the people closest to you to love and honor and cherish you Jamie." She got up from the bed and went to her dresser. "I certainly do," she said as she handed her friend a small package.

Jamie looked up, a wide smile lighting up her whole face. "I really love getting presents, you know. But I feel the time I spend with you is a gift. I don't need anything tangible to know how you feel about our friendship." After a pause she added with a giggle, "But I still love presents."

She carefully removed the red and green striped paper from the little box. Inside was a small black leather book, about the size of a paperback. She opened the pages to find a little map of each of the major bike routes in the Bay Area. The maps had obviously been meticulously removed from another book. Each little map was carefully glued to a strong piece of heavy white paper. Underneath each map was a legend in Ryan's hand detailing the options for each route and the difficulty of each. On the page opposite each map was a space for Jamie to mark the date she completed the ride, what the weather was like and how she felt during the ride. Every 4th or 5th page carried a small handwritten message meant to inspire or motivate Jamie. Some were funny, some spiritual, and some practical. Jamie was touched beyond words at the time and effort that Ryan had obviously expended in making this journal. She fought back a tear as she wrapped her arms around her friend in silence. After a moment she simply whispered, "Thank you."

After Jamie pulled back, Ryan gave her a luminous grin, "I'm glad you like it." After a moment she added, "You know I don't think I tell you enough how much it means to me that you are doing this ride. I know that AIDS hasn't had a big impact on your life, and I appreciate how willing you were to take on this challenge. I think part of the reason that you agreed was because you knew it was important to me. I really thank you for that."

"That is the biggest reason I agreed to do it," she replied honestly. "I knew that you wouldn't give so much of your time to something that wasn't really worthwhile."

Caitlin was getting tired of being confined to the bed so Jamie placed the shirt over her shoulder and picked her up. She carried her around the room, letting her touch all the books and the small items on the shelves. She pointed out the pictures of Ryan and the rest of the family and explained who each person was, even though Caitlin had no idea what she was talking about. Ryan lay back on the bed and watched her friend charm her little cousin. After a while Jamie announced, "I have a gift for you too, Ryan. It's in my purse. Would you mind getting it out?"

Ryan gamely retrieved Jamie's purse and began look through it. She found a card with her name on it and held it up questioningly. "Yes, that's it," Jamie replied.

Ryan sat back down on the bed with a look of anticipation on her face. "I like presents, too," she admitted. She tore open the card as several pieces of paper fell out onto her lap. She began to gather them up as she pulled the card fully out of the envelope. After she had organized all of the paper she began to look at them carefully. Her face lit up with childlike glee as she read off each ticket. "Ohh wow, the Exploratorium, ohh the Children's Museum, Marineland!" she shouted with delight. She came over to Jamie and held up the tickets, "There's two adults and one child for each of these. Where will we ever get a child?" She dangled the tickets in front of the baby and said, "We're going to play, Sweetie!"

Jamie laughed at Ryan's obvious delight. "There's a few more in there, Sport." Ryan grabbed the envelope and found after a thorough audit that Jamie had purchased tickets for them to do nearly every baby friendly event in the Bay area. Finally she read the card, 'Thank you for giving me a second chance at a happy childhood,' read the note.

Ryan hugged her friend soundly, catching the laughing baby in the embrace for good measure. "This was a terribly thoughtful gift," she said sincerely. "Caitlin and I thank you very much."

"I've just never seen you happier than you are with her," Jamie stated. "Being around you two is so healing for me. It allows me to experience some of those childhood pleasures that I didn't get to have," she admitted.

"It really surprises me that you didn't do these things as a child. I mean," here she struggled a bit, "I thought that people with money did all these things, especially for an only child." She blushed a bit, "I just assumed you were spoiled."

"I was spoiled with things," Jamie admitted. "I had every toy and stuffed animal known to mankind. But my father didn't have time to do kid stuff and my mother had no interest. She took me to the symphony and to plays and the opera when I was 3 and 4 years old. So it's not that I didn't go places, I just didn't go to kid places."

"Did you enjoy going to those places?" Ryan asked gently.

Jamie gave her a sardonic look, "You're kidding, right?"

"Didn't you have friends or cousins to do things with?" Ryan continued to probe, unable to believe that Jamie's life had been so barren.

"I don't have very many cousins that we socialize with. My father's sister lives in Chicago and she has two kids so they weren't very convenient. We almost never saw them. My mother is an only child, and the maternal side of her extended family just gets together in Rhode Island in the summer. We're not a real close group," she said, stating the obvious. "I didn't start making friends until I was in Montessori school when I was 4, and I was never encouraged to have those kids over. I basically played with Marta, our cook, or the maids."

"So you've been a little adult your whole life, haven't you?" Ryan said sympathetically.

"Yeah, I guess I have," she replied.

"Well, Caitlin and I are going to change that pretty darn quick. You'll have regressed to infancy when we get through with you," she said confidently as she put her arm around her friend.

"I have one more thing to give you, but it's not a gift," Jamie said tentatively.

Ryan cocked her head in question and waited for her friend to continue.

She walked back over to her purse and extracted another envelope as she balanced the baby on her knee. This one was not marked and she withdrew a white form and a check. "I was sending in my check for the AIDS Ride because I wanted to make some charitable donations before year end. I decided to donate $25,000 and it dawned on me that I should make a donation in your name of at least that much. I wouldn't be doing this ride without your support, Ryan. It's become much more to me than an athletic goal. It's helping me to change my life in a fundamental manner. And it's all because of you," she said sincerely. "I know you like to secure your own pledges but I also know how busy you've been. I just want you to know that if you are running short you don't have to worry."

Ryan closed her eyes tightly as she struggled to hold back the tears. She bit her lip to control her shaking chin and took in a few deep breaths. Finally, she was able to open her eyes. She gazed at Jamie with her unwavering blue eyes and opened her arms. Jamie walked right into the embrace, cuddling Caitlin between them. Ryan didn't say a word but she leaned over and kissed each of Jamie's cheeks. She had so much emotion threatening to spill out that she didn't trust herself to say a thing. But she maintained the hug for a very long while, kissing Jamie's head and cheek repeatedly.

The rest of the evening was spent laughing and eating and joking with the whole O'Flaherty clan. Small gifts were given to Caitlin by everyone in attendance, and by the time Jamie was ready to leave the baby was once again fast asleep in Ryan's arms.

The two friends walked to Jamie's car together. "I think this was the best Christmas I've ever had, Ryan," Jamie said softly when they reached the little car.

"You made it more special for me than I'll ever be able to say," Ryan replied as she gave her friend a one armed hug, being careful of the sleeping infant. "If your family gets to be too much I want you to call me. I've got a lot of free time before school starts, so don't be shy."

"I won't and thanks again for everything," Jamie said as she pulled the Boxster onto the small quiet street for the short ride to Nob Hill.

On the Wednesday after Christmas
,
Jamie had to get away for a while. Jack was obviously trying hard but his attempts at being closer were driving her absolutely crazy. The message that he had gotten was that she didn't like to make meals and clean up alone. So he gamely hung around in the kitchen while she tried to work. But he really was inept, whether through design or inability she wasn't sure. He was in her way so badly that she finally released him to go back to his work. So the pattern returned to their previous one. He studied, she read. He studied, she cooked. He studied, she watched a movie. The routine was getting so monotonous that she wanted to scream.
We never
do
anything
, she whined to herself.
We don't go out for dinner; we don't even go for walks any more. I know he has a lot on his mind, but I feel like we're setting up a schedule that might never vary. He'll just replace school with work and be just as unavailable to me.

She realized that the main outside activity they had was brunch and golf at the club.
But I've been doing that since I was born. I want some excitement in my life!

She dialed Ryan's pager and waited just a few minutes for her call. "Hi, what's up?" she asked cheerfully.

"What's your schedule today?"

"I'm at the gym right now. I've got clients until 11, then I don't have much scheduled, except your workout at 4. Why, do you want to play?"

"I need to do something fun," she stated firmly. "I feel like my life is so routine! If I don't get my blood pumping a little bit I swear I'll go mad!"

"When do you have to be back home?"

"I don't care if I ever go home," she sulked.

"Okay, meet me at my house at 11:30. Dress warmly and wear boots if you have them. We'll go burn the carbon off your sparkplugs."