Away From the Spotlight (18 page)

On the days I had final
exam
s, Will would call me
afterward
and ask me how I felt I did.  Of course, I never thought I did well on any exam.  I remembered taking the
law school
e
ntrance
e
xam, the LSAT, in college and meeting up with a friend of mine afterward saying, “Well, I guess I’m going to Business School.”  Regardless of my negativity regarding that exam,
my LSAT score panned out such that
I
was accepted by
a number of
excellent
law schools and receive
d
a scholarship to
USC
.

After my first exam for Criminal Procedure, Will asked, “So, how did it go?”

“It went,” I responded shortly.

“I mean how do you think you did?”  He knew I knew what he meant.

“Not so well.”  I sounded discouraged.

“Did you feel like you studied enough?”
Will
s
eemed
worried that perhaps he had
somehow prevented me from doing so
.

“Yes.  Plenty.”
  I tried to put his mind at ease.

I could hear the relief in his voice.  “Then I’m sure you did fine.”  He paused for a moment, and then asked, “Do you ever think you do well on exams?”

“Well
,
no.”

“I figured as much.  Then I know you did fine.  You’re going to have to work on your negativity though.”

“Better negativity than hubris.”

“What do you mean?”

“If I said I couldn’t have failed, it’s like saying the Titanic was unsinkable.  I would fail.”

“Your logic is interesting.”  He laughed.  “So am I going to get the same answer when I
talk to
you after your next two
exams
?”

“Probably
,
”
I said honestly.

“I’m still going to call.”

“I know.”

I spoke with Will after each of my finals.  After my last one, the conversation took a little different turn as I had plans after the exam.

“
I’ll see you when you get home.
  Don’t have
too
much fun, please.
”

I knew he was referring to the fact that I would be spending time with John. 
“
Don’t worry
.  I love you.”

John had asked and I had agreed to go to a late lunch with the guys at work after my last final.  We decided to take a field trip of sorts that day to a restaurant that, although not far from
D
owntown, required that we drive there
from the office
.  Daniel drove,
Max
rode shotgun
,
and John and I sat in the back seat.

As I sat next to John, I recalled meeting him for the first time.  He came into the firm at the end of my second-year summer clerkship.  He had been a litigator at another small firm and hated it.  He wanted an opportunity to do transactional work and agreed to
handle
some overflow litigatio
n work to get that opportunity.

I had thought he was so good-
looking and so my type both physically and intellectually that I was, of course, nervous around him at first.
 
Notwithstanding that fact, I did everything I could to be around him.  After a few weeks, I learned that he had Ashley and that they had been together since high school.  Once I realized that there was no possibility of us ever being together, I relaxed and we became good friends.  In becoming good friends with John, I also became good friends with
Max
and Daniel.
 
I noticed as I sat there with John that my nervousness with him had returned.

At
the restaurant, we sat together in the formation we usually did with
Max
and Da
niel
on one side
a
nd John and I on the other.  John sat on the outside
of the booth
and close to me as he usually did.  I never noticed the lack of personal space he
provided
me until now.  I had never really thought about it because I had considered John completely unavailable and so such closeness was meaningless.  But now Will’s theory about Jo
hn’s feelings for me had
gotten to me.

Daniel brought up the subject of Will and looked at John as he did so, which I found somewhat odd
as I still couldn’t believe Will’s theory
.  “Is Will going to your graduation?”

“Yes.  My parents will get to meet him, which is pretty scary.”

“Sounds pretty serious.” 
Daniel
looked again at John, like he was trying to tell him something.

I tried to downplay th
ings
because, although
Will and I were surprisingly serious considering how long we had been dating
, I didn’t quite want to admit it out loud yet for fear of jinxing things
.

“So far so good.  He
’
s amazing and treats me like a
q
ueen.  For graduation, he took me to the Beverly Hills Hotel
for the weekend
and he gave me this.”  I
held out
the diamond necklace that hung around my neck.

They all
stared
as I held it out. 
Max
and Daniel looked impressed.  John looked over at it and then looked down.

“A diamond, huh?  Sounds pretty serious,”
Max
said, reiterating Daniel’s comment.

“I don’t know that it has quite that connotation here.  I think he just wanted to get me something nice and his ability to pay is a little different than ours.”

“I don’t know.  We men may not understand a lot of things
when it comes to relationships
, but we do know what diamonds mean.” 
Max
looked at John as he said this.

“It’s been less than two months.  I don’t think I’ll start my wedding planning just yet
,
”
I said with
more than
a hint of sarcasm.

The conversation felt like Daniel and
Max
were trying to convince John to somehow back off, but despite this fact, I couldn’t imagine how th
at
could be the case.  John lived with Ashley and had never said anything that would indicate any interest in me on his part.
 
I relaxed a little and tried to enjoy my lunch.

Upon returning
to the office, I went up to the suite to say
“
hello
”
to everyone.
 
As I was leaving
, John called me into his office.

“I’ll call you next week and we can set up some time to talk about your trip.  Okay?”

“Sure.  I’ll talk to you then.”

As I t
urned to leave
, John
got up from his desk, and walked
around it
to give me a hug.  “Happy Graduation,” he said as he cont
inued to hold me for a moment.

I was starting to get a strange vibe, but wondered if it was me since I had always been attracted to
John
to some extent.  My discomfort at that thought made me let go and I didn’t look back at him as I walked out the door, saying, “Thanks.  Talk to you next week.”

When I
arrived at
the
house
in the Palisades
, Will wasn’t back from his day’s business so I sat on the couch and turned on the
TV
.

Kate joined me about a half-
hour later.

“How was your day?” she asked
while seated in
one of the recliners.

“
I f
inished my last final, which was a relief, and then went to
lunch to
celebrate with some friends at work.”

“Anyone interesting?”

“What do you mean?”
  I gave her a strange look.

“Stephen
told me
that Will said there was someone at your work
who
was interested in you.
I think whoever it is scares Will.”

“Will’s overreacting.”

“I don’t know.  Apparently, he’s afraid that whoever it is
may be
more suited to you than he is.  He’s jealous of what you have in common.”

“He’s being ridiculous
then
.  John is living with someone else and, even if he weren’t, I’m not
the slightest bit interested.”

I truly wished that were the case even though I knew at the back of my mind that it wasn’t quite true.  Although I would never choose John over Will, I couldn’t
honestly
say that I was completely disinterested.

Will walked in the door at that point and, despite Kate’s presence, l
ay
down on top of me on the couch and kissed me.

“This is my cue to leave,” Kate said and rolled her eyes.

“Your exams
are over.  How shall we celebrate?”  Will
then
took my hand and led me off to his room.

Graduation was only a few days after my last final. 
The main undergraduate graduation
ceremony
for
Kelly
took place
in the morning,
Kelly
’s
Accounting School ceremony
was in the
early afternoon
,
and m
y
law school graduation
was in the
late afternoon
,
all
on the same day
.

M
om, Dad
and
Matt
had
arrived
the day before. 
My parents booked a room at one of the nicer D
owntown L.A.
hotels.
  Matt stayed with Kelly.

The night before graduation, my family, Matt
,
Will
and I
met
for dinner
at
the
Downtown L.A.
location of a famous steakhouse
to celebrate
.  T
here wouldn’t be a whole lot of time between ceremonies the next day and I had a law school party to go to the night of graduation.

Will and I dressed for the occasion, with him in a trendy bl
ue
suit with a silvery-grey shirt and me in one of my little black dresses that was tight-fitting through the bust and flared out from just below the waist. 
The restaurant was more crowded than normal.  I could see that each of the square and
circular tables covered in white table cloths
were
filled
.  A lot of families of
USC
graduates obviously
had
the same idea. 
The lighting
thankfully
was
dim
and people were distracted with their celebrations so Will was able to be with us relatively unnoticed.
  Will held out the elegant wooden chair for me to sit down after I had greet
ed my parents and introduced Will
.

My parents
appeared
young to have a daughter my age. Neither had any grey hair whatsoever
although they did look like they were in their
mid-to-late-
40’s, which was the case
.

Like my sister, n
either of my parents really looked like me
, both without
red hair or freckles, but I more closely resembled my father in terms of the shape of my face, and eye and skin color.  My father was of medium height for a man with dark brown hair, and
a
ngular features.  He wore a navy blazer,
blue
button-down shirt with a green
printed
tie and
gray
pants.  My mother had more of an Anglo-Saxon look about her with long light brown hair, a ruddy complexion and a thicker build.  She wore a navy dress with a round neck and a little beading around the bodice.

It was the first time my parents had met Will and I was a little nervous. 
Although I
had
said nothing to Will, my mother had been a little skeptical about the relationship in that she thought someone as driven as me career
-
wise shouldn’t be dating a flaky actor.  She thawed though over the course of the evening as Will’s effort to make a good impression was obvious as was the fact that he was a
pretty good
match for me in terms of intelligence.
 
M
y dad, who liked clever banter, particularly appreciated Will’s English wit.
 
When I was growing up, anyone who could insult my father cleverly would
receive
a standing ovation.  Although Will did not insult my father, it was quite clear that he had the capability
of earning
a standing ovation had
he
done so.