Authors: Betsy Prioleau
Abelard, 181–82
About Love
(Solomon), 213
Adam’s Rib
(movie), 207
Addams, Charles, 210–11
Adonis (myth.), 55, 105
Agnelli, Gianni, 129
Alcibiades, 38–39, 46
alcohol, 131
Allen, Woody, 82
Allende, Isabel, 132
Almodóvar, Pedro, 132
A Lot Like Love
(movie), 229
alpha male:
Darwinian theory of, 12–14
genuine, 14–16
qualities of, 12–13, 212
Alsop, Joseph, 150
Amis, Kingsley, 9, 35, 199–200, 228
amphetamines, 144
Anatomy of Melancholy, The
(Burton), 101, 107
androgyny, 45–48, 101, 102, 230
anger, 225, 226
Anna Karenina
(Tolstoy), 5, 139, 167
Anne (psychoanalyst), 221–23, 228, 230, 231
apathy, 83
Apatow, Judd, 225
Aphrodite (myth.), 70
Apollo (myth.), 70
appearance, 99–103
body beautiful, 99–100
fashion and grooming, 100–103
applause response, 144–45
Ariadne (myth.), 67, 80, 117, 128, 138, 145
Arnim, Elizabeth von, 218–19
Art of Courtly Love, The
(Capellanus), 60, 145
“Art of Loving, The” (Maurois), 36
Aspasia, “The Aspasian Path,” 236
Asquith, Lady Cynthia, 189
Athena (myth.), 101
attention, 131–32, 168–70, 231–32
Attwood, Feona, 223
Auden, W. H., “As I Walked Out One Evening,” 187
Bacall, Lauren, 112
Bacchus (myth.), 22
Bader, Michael, 55
Baker, Gail Konop, 229
Balfe, Veronica “Rocky,” 47
Balzac, Honoré de, 84, 233
on conversation, 163, 181
The Memoirs of Two Brides
, 37
The Physiology of Marriage
, 82, 97, 159
on variety, 202–3
Balzi, Doctor, 130
Banderas, Antonio, 143
Barbach, Lonnie, 204
Bardwell, Hilary, 200
Barthes, Roland, 34, 104, 202
Baryshnikov, Mikhail, 49, 118–19
Basinet, Cynthia, 57
Bataille, Georges, 246
Eroticism: Death and Sensuality
, 70
Batten, Mary, 241
Baudrillard, Jean, 175
Seduction
, 93, 99
Beatty, Warren, 43–44, 64, 72, 79, 107
and alcohol, 131
and Bening, 142
as listener, 170
and music, 110
smile of, 115
Beaumont, Pauline de, 174
Beauvoir, Simone de, 1, 144
Beckham, David, 103
Before Sunrise
(movie), 187
Bellino (castrato), 68, 155
Belmonte, Juan, 68
Bening, Annette, 142
Berenson, Marisa, 78
Bergman, Ingrid, 47
Bergstrom, Carl, 142
Berking, Helmuth, 127
Bird, Christiane, 213
bisexuality, 45–48, 102, 230
Black, Hilary, 132
Blackwood, Caroline, 50
Blessington, Marguerite Gardner, Countess of, 22, 167
Blixen, Karen (Dinesen), 54
Bloch-Bauer, Adele, 206
Bloom, Claire, 188
Blue Valentine
(movie), 237
Bly, Robert, 66, 235, 236
body beautiful, 99–100
body language, 113–16, 165–66
Bogart, Humphrey, 53
bonding, 152, 172–73
Book of the Courtier, The
(Castiglione), 196
Bordy (Harvard freshman), 107–8
Bouquet, Carole, 242
Bow, Clara, 47
Boyle, T. C.,
The Inner Circle
, 165
Brantley, Ben, 238
Brian (banker), 60–61, 91–92, 115, 168
Bridges of Madison County, The
(movie), 52
Brizendine, Louann, 138, 161, 172
Broderick, Matthew, 60
Broglie, princesse de, 149
Broken Embraces
(movie), 132
Brontë, Emily,
Wuthering Heights
, 37, 153
Brown, James, 33
Brown, Ruth, 155
Bruni, Carla, 87
Brzezinski, Mika, 167
Budberg, Moura, 219
Buisson, Céleste, 174
Burton, Richard, 9, 56, 114, 172, 188, 208
Burton, Robert, 112
The Anatomy of Melancholy
, 101, 107
Buss, David, 12, 116, 202, 208, 232, 241–42
Butler, Rhett (fict.), 59, 116
Byatt, A. S.,
Possession
, 173, 187
Byron, George Gordon, Lord, 21–23
androgyny of, 47
and Byronmania, 21
Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage
, 136
Don Juan
, 116
physical traits of, 22, 56, 114
and poetry, 49, 102, 187
voice of, 167
Caesar, Julius, 102–3, 128, 198
Callow, Simon, 48
Calori, Angiola, 216
Campbell, Barbara, 65
Campbell, Joseph, 186, 240
Camus, Albert, 7, 53, 68
Canterbury Tales
(Chaucer):
Friar, 70
Miller, 49, 110
Wife of Bath, 34, 144
Capellanus, Andreas,
The Art of Courtly Love
, 60, 145
Carlisle, Kitty, 35
Carrington, Dora, 77
Casanova, Giacomo, 5–7, 52–53, 68
analysts’ views of, 8, 9–10
androgyny of, 47
ardor of, 37, 134, 140–41, 155
character of, 64, 91, 164, 216
charitable acts of, 64
comparisons with, 179, 238, 245
and conversation, 182
and fashion, 101–2
food and wine, 131
and gift-giving, 128
and Henriette, 6–7, 85, 122, 182, 216
longevity of, 25–26
music and dance, 110, 118
and novelty, 204
physical traits of, 16
and pleasure, 84–85
sexual skills of, 23, 122, 134, 148
stereotypes of, 6, 7, 11, 16, 26
suicide contemplated by, 9
wit of, 177–78
Castro Monte, Fernandae “The Countess,” 44
Catherine of Braganza, 86
Catherine the Great, 10, 43, 91, 184
Chamfort, Sébastien-Roch Nicolas de, 129
Chance, Megan,
An Inconvenient Wife
, 150–51
Chaplin, Charlie, 35
character, 60–93
in a new key, 91–92
courage, 66–70
knowledge/intelligence, 74–78
morality/virtue, 61–66
pleasure, 82–86
self-realization, 86–90
social IQ, 78–82
spirituality, 70–74
charisma, 31–59, 239–40
androgyny, 45–48
creativity, 48–51
élan, 33–36
flawed manhood, 54–57
intensity, 36–39
love of women, 42–44
quicksilver man, 51–54
refining the definition, 58–59
sex drive, 39–42
Charlemagne, 56
Charles II, king of England, “Merry Monarch,” 85–86
charm, 61, 80
Chateaubriand, François-René, 173–74
Châtelet, Émilie du, 76, 216
Chekhov, Anton, 43
Cheney, Mamah, 106, 216
Chesterfield, Lord, 145
Child, Maureen,
Turn My World Upside Down
, 46, 140
Chivers, Meredith, 45, 135, 137–38
Chopin, Kate,
The Awakening
, 131
Cicero, 182
Clairmont, Claire, 23
Clay (androgyny), 45
Cleopatra, 103, 128, 198–99
Clinton, Bill, 110, 155–56, 166, 167
Clooney, George, 24
clothes, 100–102
Cohen, Leonard, 188
Colette,
The Other One
, 37
Collins, James,
Beginner’s Greek
, 153
Collins, Joan, 110
Collins, Wilkie, 159–60
compatibility, 13
compliments, 143–50
Conegliano, Emanuele (Da Ponte), 10
connectivity, 42
Constant, Benjamin, 141
conversation, 159–64, 171–74
mental intercourse, 179–84, 230–31
phatic speech, 171
in postverbal age, 189–90
soothing speech, 172–73
Cooke, Sam, 64–65
Cooper, Duff, 148–50
Cooper, Gary, 47–48, 56, 170
Cooper, Glenda, 232
Corden, James, 179
couples’ therapy, 20–21, 24
courage, 66–70, 230
courtly love, 62
Cragin, Mary, 73
Crane, Stephen, 217
creativity, 48–51
Cromwell, Oliver, 85
Crosland, Felicity, 179
Crusie, Jennifer, 43, 123, 128
Cruz, Penelope, 132
Cuchulain (myth.), 63, 75, 88
Cunard, Nancy, 77
Cunningham, Bill, 103
curiosity, 201–6
Custine, Madame de, 174
Cyrano de Bergerac, 185
Dagda (myth.), 52
d’Agoult, Countess Marie, 72, 210, 216
Dahl, Arlene, 47
Dahl, Roald, 178–79
d’Alvernhe, Peire, 1
Damnation of Theron Ware, The
(Frederic), 216–18
dance, 113, 116–19, 134
Dangerous Liaisons
(fict.), 139
D’Annunzio, Gabriele, 14–16, 102
and flattery, 148
and gesture, 165–66
as high-maintenance, 15, 210, 228
kisses of, 123
and setting, 105–6
Dante Alighieri, 4, 154
Da Ponte, Lorenzo, 10–12
d’Aragona, Tullia, 140
d’Arányi, Jelly, 77
Darcy, Fitzwilliam (fict.), 63
Darwin, Charles, 109, 115, 162, 202, 244–45
Darwin, Erasmus, 244
D’Aulnoy, Madame, “The Blue Bird,” 161
Dave, Laura,
First Husband
, 169
Dawkins, Richard, 104
The Selfish Gene
, 13
Day, Douglas, 54–55
Day, Sylvia, 209–10
de Angelo, David, 16
decency, 13
Denby, David, 190
Deneuve, Catherine, 244
Depardieu, Gérard, 242–44
dependability, 13
Depp, Johnny, 86, 99
desire, 21, 83
DeTamble, Henry (fict.), 179–80
Diamond, Lisa, 152
Diary of a Seducer
(Kierkegaard), 202
Dickinson, Emily, 185
Diderot, Denis, 12, 68, 183–84, 216
Dietrich, Marlene, 112
Dinesen, Isak, 53–54, 128
Dionysian festivals, 39, 71
Dionysus (myth.), 43, 55, 67, 114, 138, 152, 169, 235
and androgyny, 46, 101
and comedy, 162, 176
and creativity, 49, 88
and empathy, 80
and gift-giving, 128, 130, 145
and
joie de vivre
, 34, 63
music and dance, 109, 117, 199
and pleasure, 83, 106, 196
restlessness of, 52, 75
and setting, 105
as two-sided god, 37, 49, 162, 203, 214
Dirk (law student), 131–32
Dirty Dancing
(movie), 118
Disraeli, Benjamin, 170
Dixon, Mildred “Sweet Babe,” 44
domesticity, 13
dominance display, 17
Dona Flor and Her Two Husbands
(movie), 40
Don Giovanni
(opera), 34
Don Juan (fict.), 5, 16, 53, 86, 116, 176
Don Juan DeMarco
(movie), 86
“Don Juanism,” analyst’s view of, 8
Donovan, James M., 58
dopamine, 37, 161, 202
Dowd, Maureen, 161, 224
Dreams of Love and Fateful Encounters
(Person), 197
Dreiser, Theodore, 130
Duke, Doris, 85
du Maurier, George, 181
Dumuzi (myth.), 67, 79–80, 121–22, 130, 145, 172, 196, 209
Duncan, Isadora, 106, 148
Duras, Marguerite, 244
Duse, Eleonora, 14–15, 210
Edgarian, Carol,
Three Stages of Amazement
, 197
Ehrenreich, Barbara, 200
élan, 33–36
Eliade, Mircea, 46, 185
Eliot, George, 112, 176
Elizabeth I, queen of England, 80, 148
Ellington, Duke, 44, 167
Ellis, Beatrice “Evie,” 44
Ellis, Havelock, 79, 92, 117, 193, 207, 245
emotional stability, 13
empathy, 80, 168
endorphins, 43
Ephron, Nora, 78
eros/Eros, 21, 33, 62, 244–45
Eroticism: Death and Sensuality
(Bataille), 70
Essex Junction, Vermont, 45
estrogen, 152
etiquette, 239
euphoria, 124, 175
Euripides,
Medea
, 125
Eurydice (myth.), 109
Evanovich, Janet, 39
evolutionary psychology, 48, 63, 75, 79, 87, 104, 138, 186
exuberance, 33–34
eyes, 114, 115
Fair Penitent, The
(Rowe), 5
Fancy Pants
(Phillips), 114
fashion and grooming, 100–103
Father “Jake,” 31
Feiffer, Jules,
Harry, the Rat with Women
, 8
Felman, Shoshana, 163
Ferney, Alice, 167
fertility gods, 34, 46, 52, 121, 130, 145–46
fertility rites, 71, 117, 163
festivity/fun, 194–201, 229–30
50 Cent, 5
Finch Hatton, Denys, 53–54, 68, 128
Finck, Henry, 138
Fisher, Helen, 13, 138, 172
Fisher, Maryanne, 223
flattery, 143–50
flawed manhood, 54–57, 91
Flem, Lydia, 9
Flöge, Emilie, 206
Flynn, Errol, 24–25
Fontaine, Joan, 211
Fontane, Theodor, 34
food and wine, 129–32
Fox, Barry, 76
fragrance, 101, 102
France, Marie de, 46, 56, 88
Franklin, Benjamin, 12, 89–90, 91
Franklin, Bertha, 65
Franklin, Rev. C. L., 155
Franzen, Jonathan, 181
Frederic, Harold,
The Damnation of Theron Ware
, 216–18
French Resistance, 68
Freud, Lucian, 50–51
The Painter Surprised by a Naked Admirer
, 50
Freud, Sigmund, 8, 46, 83, 126, 137
Freyr (myth.), 52, 55, 138
Friday, Nancy, 100
Friedrich, Paul, 122
Fromm, Eric, 168
Furstenberg, Diane von, 78
Gabor, Zsa Zsa, 85, 116, 230
Gaddam, Sai, 229
Gaffney, Patricia,
To Love and to Cherish
, 72, 105