B00AFPTSI0 EBOK (39 page)

8
. Launch a Personal Generosity Experiment.
If you’d rather give on your own, try the GOOD thirty-day challenge (www.good.is/post/the-good-30-day-challenge-become-a-good-citizen). Each day for a month, GOOD suggests a different way to give. For more examples of random acts of kindness, check out Sasha Dichter’s thirty-day generosity experiment (http://sashadichter.wordpress.com) and Ryan Garcia’s year of daily random acts of kindness (www.366randomacts.org). Dichter, the chief innovation officer at the Acumen Fund, embarked on a monthlong generosity experiment in which he said yes to every request for help that he received. Garcia, a sales executive at ZocDoc, is performing one random act of kindness every day for an entire year and keeping a blog about his experience, from stepping up as a mentor to thanking a customer service representative. As we saw in chapter 6, this generosity experiment is likely to be most psychologically rewarding if you spend somewhere between two and eleven hours a week on it, and if you distribute it into larger chunks—multiple acts once a week, instead of one act every day.

9.
Help Fund a Project.
Many people are seeking financial support for their projects. On Kickstarter (www.kickstarter.com), known as the world’s largest funding platform for creative projects, you can find people looking for help in designing and launching movies, books, video games, music, plays, paintings, and other products and services. On Kiva (www.kiva.org), you can identify opportunities to make microloans of $25 or more to entrepreneurs in the developing world. Both sites give you the chance to see and follow the progress of the people you help.

10.
Seek Help More Often.
If you want other people to be givers, one of the easiest steps is to ask. When you ask for help, you’re not always imposing a burden. Some people are givers, and by asking for help, you’re creating an opportunity for them to express their values and feel valued. By asking for a five-minute favor, you impose a relatively small burden—and if you ask a matcher, you can count on having an opportunity to reciprocate. Wayne and Cheryl Baker note that people can “
Start the spark
of reciprocity by making requests as well as helping others. Help generously and without thought of return; but also ask often for what you need.”

The seeds for this book were planted by my grandparents, Florence and Paul Borock, who tirelessly invested their time and energy in others without expecting anything in return. Growing up, my curiosity about psychology and fascination with the quality of work life were sparked by my parents, Susan and Mark. My diving coach, Eric Best, showed me that psychology was a major force behind success, introduced me to the power of giving in developing others, and encouraged me to pursue a career that combined psychology and writing. I found that career thanks to Brian Little, whose wisdom and generosity changed the course of my life. Brian embodies the very best of the human condition, and it is due to his depth of knowledge, commitment to students, and ability to captivate an audience that I became a professor. As I began to study organizational psychology, I benefited tremendously from the mentoring of Jane Dutton, Sue Ashford, Richard Hackman, Ellen Langer, and Rick Price. In particular, Jane has challenged me to think more deeply and encouraged me to reach more broadly in striving to do research that makes a difference.

They say it takes an army to write a book, and mine was no exception: I felt very lucky to work with an army of givers whose fingerprints grace each page. Leading the charge was Richard Pine at InkWell, who exemplifies every quality that an author could possibly want in an agent. Richard has a true gift for seeing the potential in ideas and people, and is uniquely skilled and passionate in connecting them in powerful ways that use the written word to make the world a better place. From helping me find my voice in writing for a popular audience and championing the topic, to offering keen insights about the substance and identifying successful givers in our midst, Richard has had an indelible impact on this book and my life.

The other major creative force behind this book was editor extraordinaire Kevin Doughten. Among his many contributions, it is noteworthy that it was Kevin who put George Meyer on my radar and recognized that a unique feature of giver success lies in lifting others up. Kevin knows from personal experience, as this is the influence of his success on his authors. His perceptive, comprehensive feedback sharpened the structure, strengthened the arguments, and enriched the stories and studies—and motivated me to rewrite three chapters from scratch. Along with shaping every sentence in the book, Kevin’s guidance has fundamentally altered the way that I approach writing more generally.

At Viking, Rick Kot has gone far above and beyond the call of duty in offering his ingenuity, discerning eye, social capital, and stewardship. I feel fortunate to benefit from his support and the editorial, publicity, and marketing contributions of Catherine Boyd, Nick Bromley, Peter Chatzky, Risa Chubinsky, Carolyn Coleburn, Winnie De Moya, Andrew Duncan, Clare Ferraro, Alexis Hurley, Whitney Peeling, Lindsay Prevette, Britney Ross, Jeff Schell, Nancy Sheppard, Michael Sigle, Dennis Swaim, and Jeannette Williams, and the givers at Napa Group, LLC.

When I first contemplated the possibility of writing this book, many colleagues provided sage advice. I am especially grateful to Jennifer Aaker, Teresa Amabile, Dan Ariely, Susan Cain, Noah Goldstein, Barry Schwartz, Marty Seligman, Richard Shell, Bob Sutton, and Dan Pink—who not only shared invaluable insights, but also came up with the title. The idea for the book itself was inspired by a discussion with Jeff Zaslow and brought to life through dialogue with Justin Berg, whose vision and expertise immensely improved the form and function.

For discerning feedback on drafts, I thank Andy Bernstein, Ann Dang, Katherine Dean, Gabe Farkas, Alex Fishman, Alyssa Gelkopf, Kelsey Hilbrich, Katie Imielska, Mansi Jain, Valentino Kim, Phil Levine, Patrice Lin, Nick LoBuglio, Michelle Lu, Sara Luchian, Lindsay Miller, Starry Peng, Andrew Roberts, Danielle Rode, Suruchi Srikanth, Joe Tennant, Ryan Villanueva, Guy Viner, Becky Wald, Teresa Wang, Catherine Wei, and Tommy Yin. For leads on stories and connections to interviewees, I sincerely appreciate the help of Cameron Anderson, Dane Barnes, Renee Bell, Tal Ben-Shahar, Jesse Beyroutey, Grace Chen, Chris Colosi, Angela Duckworth, Bill Fisse, Juliet Geldi, Tom Gerrity, Leah Haimson, Dave Heckman, Dara Kritzer, Adam Lashinsky, Laurence Lemaire, Matt Maroone, Cade Massey, Dave Mazza, Chris Myers, Meredith Myers, Jean Oelwang, Bob Post, Jon Rifkind, Gavin Riggall, Claire Robertson-Kraft, Scott Rosner, Bobbi Silten, Matt Stevens, Brandon Stuut, Jeff Thompson, Mike Useem, Jerry Wind, Amy Wrzesniewski, George Zeng, and the extraordinary anonymous givers at Riley Productions (www.rileyprods.com).

For sharing their wisdom, knowledge, and experiences in interviews, along with the people quoted in the book, I thank Antoine Andrews, Peter Avis, Bernie Banks, Colleen Barrett, Margaux Bergen, Bob Brooks, Rano Burkhanova, Jim Canales, Virginia Canino, Bob Capers, Brian Chu, Bob Coghlan, Matt Conti, Mario DiTrapani, Atul Dubey, Nicole DuPre, Marc Elliott, Scilla Elworthy, Mark Fallon, Mike Feinberg, Christy Flanagan, Mike Fossaceca, Anna Gauthier, Jeremy Gilley, Kathy Gubanich, Michelle Gyles-McDonnough, Kristen Holden, Beak Howell, Tom Jeary, Diane and Paul Jones, Rick Jones, Melanie Katzman, Colin Kelton, Richard Lack, Larry Lavery, Eric Lipton, Theresa Loth, Nic Lumpp, Dan Lyons, Sergio Magistri, Susan Mathews, Tim McConnell, David McMullen, Debby McWhinney, Rick Miller, Roy Neff, Randi Nielsen, Scott O’Neil, Jenna Osborne, Charles Pensig, Bob Post, Larry Powell, Kate Richey, Manfred Rietsch, Jon Rifkind, Larry Roberts, Clare Sanderson, Rebecca Schreuder, Bill Sherman, Scott Sherman, John Simon, Ron Skotarczak, Marijn Spillebeen, David Stewart, Craig Stock, Suzanne Sutter, Pat Sweeney, Vivek Tiwary, Vickie Tolliver, Ashley Valentine, Tony Wells, Matthew Wilkins, Yair Yoram, Jochen Zeitz, and Fatima Zorzato.

Rachel Carpenter and Erica Connelly provided a wealth of innovative ideas for spreading the word about this book, and organized a productive ideation session in which Alison Bloom-Feshbach, Zoe Epstein, Sean Griffin, Adria Hou, Katherine Howell, Ian Martinez, Scott McNulty, Annie Meyer, and Becky Wald were kind enough to participate and contribute. For spending a week keeping giver journals, I appreciate the help of Josh Berman, Charles Birnbaum, Adam Compain, Keenan Cottone, Ben Francois, Jean Lee, Josh Lipman, Charlie Mercer, Phil Neff, Mary Pettit, Matt Pohlson, Kiley Robbins, Chris Sergeant, Kara Shamy, Charlene Su, and Nina Varghese.

Many other friends, colleagues, students, and family members helped to brainstorm about the framing and content of the book, including Sam Abzug, David Adelman, Bob Adler, Sebastian Aguilar, Tanner Almond, Michael Althoff, Dan Baker, Rangel Barbosa, Dominique Basile, Deepa Bhat, Bill Boroughf, Andrew Brodsky, Anita Butani, Lewis Chung, Constantinos Coutifaris, Cody Dashiell-Earp, Kathryn Dekas, Alex Edmans, Mehdi El Hajoui, Mark Elliott, Jerrod Engelberg, Dafna Eylon, Jackie Fleishman, Michelle Gaster, Christina Gilyutin, Guiherme Giserman, Ross Glasser, Matt Goracy, Brett Lavery Gregorka, Dan Gruber, Sheynna Hakim, Howard Heevner, Greg Hennessy, Dave Hofmann, Victoria Holekamp, Rick Horgan, John Hsu, David Jaffe, Amanda Jefferson, Nechemya Kagedan, Melissa Kamin, Jonathan Karmel, Ely Key, Jeff Kiderman, Anu Kohli, Ben Krutzinna, Amin Lakhani, Chester Lee, Amanda Liberatore, Nicole Lim, Lindsey Mathews Padrino, Amy Matsuno, Lauren Miller, Zach Miller, Josephine Mogelof, Lauren Moloney-Egnatios, David Moltz, Brian Nemiroff, Celeste Ng, Dan Oppedisano, Matt Pohlson, Georges Potworowski, Derrick Preston, Vyas Ramanan, David Rider, David Roberts, Jeremy Rosner, Juan Pablo Saldarriaga, Frances Schendle, Christine Schmidt, Margot Lee Schmorak, Ari Shwayder, Kurt Smith, Scott Sonenshein, Mike Taormina, Palmer Truelson, Jonathan Tugman, Eric Tulla, Mike Van Pelt, Jamie Wallis, Michael Wolf, Rani Yadav, Lauren Yaffe, Andrew Yahkind, and Ashley Yuki.

For their encouragement over the years, I thank Traci; Florie; my grandparents Marion and Jay Grant; my in-laws, Adrienne and Neal Sweet; and the Impact Lab. Most of all, I could not have written this book without the support of my wife, Allison. She has devoted countless hours to brainstorming, reading, discussing, and searching, and words cannot describe how much her love means to me. Every time I sat down to write, I drew on the example she sets. When it comes to giving in the family domain, she is the ultimate role model. Our daughters, Joanna and Elena, are the greatest sources of joy and meaning in my life. I am incredibly proud of them, and I hope this book will offer their generation a new perspective on what it means to succeed.

Chapter 1: Good Returns

Opening quote
:
Samuel L. Clemens (aka Mark Twain), “At the Dinner to Joseph H. Choate, November 16, 1901,” in
Speeches at the Lotos Club
, ed. J. Elderkin, C. S. Lord, and H. N. Fraser (New York: Lotos Club, 1911), 38.

Story of David Hornik and Danny Shader
:
Personal interviews with David Hornik (January 30 and March 12, 2012) and Danny Shader (February 13, 2012).

preferences for reciprocity
:
Edward W. Miles, John D. Hatfield, and Richard C. Huseman, “The Equity Sensitivity Construct: Potential Implications for Worker Performance,”
Journal of Management
15 (1989): 581–588.

most people act like givers in close relationships
:
Margaret S. Clark and Judson Mills, “The Difference between Communal and Exchange Relationships: What It Is and Is Not,”
Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin
19 (1993): 684–691.

people engage in a mix of giving, taking, and matching
:
Alan P. Fiske,
Structures of Social Life: The Four Elementary Forms of Human Relations
(New York: Free Press, 1991).

world of engineering
:
Francis J. Flynn, “How Much Should I Give and How Often? The Effects of Generosity and Frequency of Favor Exchange on Social Status and Productivity,”
Academy of Management Journal
46 (2003): 539–553.

medical students in Belgium
:
Filip Lievens, Deniz S. Ones, and Stephan Dilchert, “Personality Scale Validities Increase Throughout Medical School,”
Journal of Applied Psychology
94 (2009): 1514–1535.

salespeople in North Carolina
:
Adam M. Grant and Dane Barnes, “Predicting Sales Revenue” (working paper, 2011).

givers earn 14 percent less money
:
Timothy A. Judge, Beth A. Livingston, and Charlice Hurst, “Do Nice Guys—and Gals—Really Finish Last? The Joint Effects of Sex and Agreeableness on Income,”
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
102 (2012): 390–407.

twice the risk of becoming victims of crimes
:
Robert J. Homant, “Risky Altruism as a Predictor of Criminal Victimization,”
Criminal Justice and Behavior
37 (2010): 1195–1216.

judged as 22 percent less powerful and dominant
:
Nir Halevy, Eileen Y. Chou, Taya R. Cohen, and Robert W. Livingston, “Status Conferral in Intergroup Social Dilemmas: Behavioral Antecedents and Consequences of Prestige and Dominance,”
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
102 (2012): 351–366.

envy successful takers
:
Eugene Kim and Theresa M. Glomb, “Get Smarty Pants: Cognitive Ability, Personality, and Victimization,”
Journal of Applied Psychology
95 (2010): 889–901.

“It’s easier to win”
:
Personal interview with Randy Komisar (March 30, 2012).

“Politics”
:
Bill Clinton,
Giving: How Each of Us Can Change the World
(New York: Random House, 2007), ix.

My account of Abraham Lincoln’s rise is based primarily on the riveting book by Doris Kearns Goodwin,
Team of Rivals:
The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln
(New York: Simon & Schuster, 2006).

more popular than any other politician
:
Max J. Skidmore,
Presidential Performance: A Comprehensive Review
(Jefferson, NC: McFarland & Co., 2004).

experts in history, political science, and psychology rated the presidents
:
Steven J. Rubenzer and Thomas R. Faschingbauer,
Personality, Character, and Leadership in the White House: Psychologists Assess the Presidents
(Dulles, VA: Brassey’s, 2004), 223.

“valuable in a marathon”
:
Personal interview with Chip Conley (February 24, 2012).

“no longer have to choose”
:
Personal interview with Bobbi Silten (February 9, 2012).

companies regularly use teams
:
Paul Osterman, “Work Reorganization in an Era of Restructuring: Trends in Diffusion and Effects on Employee Welfare,”
Industrial and Labor Relations Review
53 (2000): 179–196; and Duncan Gallie, Ying Zhou, Alan Felstead, and Francis Green, “Teamwork, Skill Development and Employee Welfare,”
British Journal of Industrial Relations
50 (2012): 23–46.

service sector continues to expand
:
Adam M. Grant and Sharon K. Parker, “Redesigning Work Design Theories: The Rise of Relational and Proactive Perspectives,”
Academy of Management Annals
3 (2009): 317–375.

financial advisers
:
Personal interviews with Steve Jones (July 13, 2011) and Peter Audet (December 12, 2011 and January 19, 2012).

single most important guiding principle
:
Shalom H. Schwartz and Anat Bardi, “Value Hierarchies across Cultures: Taking a Similarities Perspective,”
Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology
32 (2001): 268–290.

afraid to admit it
:
Personal interview with Sherryann Plesse (October 21, 2011).

pressured to lean in the taker direction
:
Dale T. Miller, “The Norm of Self-Interest,”
American Psychologist
54 (1999): 1053–1060.

putting on a business suit
:
see Jeffrey Sanchez-Burks, “Protestant Relational Ideology: The Cognitive Underpinnings and Organizational Implications of an American Anomaly,”
Research in Organizational Behavior
26 (2005): 267–308; and “Protestant Relational Ideology and (In)Attention to Relational Cues in Work Settings,”
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
83 (2002): 919–929.

fear of exploitation by takers
:
Robert H. Frank,
Passions Within Reason: The Strategic Role of the Emotions
(New York: W. W. Norton, 1988), xi.

Chapter 2: The Peacock and the Panda

Opening quote
:
Coretta Scott King,
The Words of Martin Luther King, Jr.
(New York: Newmarket Press, 2008), 17.

Enron
:
Bethany McLean and Peter Elkind,
The Smartest Guys in the Room: The Amazing Rise and Scandalous Fall of Enron
(New York: Portfolio, 2004), Mimi Swartz and Sherron Watkins,
Power Failure: The Inside Story of the Collapse of Enron
(New York: Crown, 2004); and Judy Keen, “Bush, Lay Kept Emotional Distance,”
USA Today
, February 26, 2002.

networks come with three major advantages
:
Brian Uzzi and Shannon Dunlap, “How to Build Your Network,”
Harvard Business Review
December (2005): 53–60; and Ronald Burt,
Structural Holes: The Social Structure of Competition
(Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1995).

LinkedIn founder
:
Reid Hoffman, “Connections with Integrity,”
strategy+business
, May 29, 2012.

glowing first impressions of takers
:
Mitja D. Back, Stefan C. Schmukle, and Boris Egloff, “Why Are Narcissists So Charming at First Sight? Decoding the Narcissism-Popularity Link at Zero Acquaintance,”
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
98 (2010): 132–145.

feel entitled to pursue self-serving goals
:
Serena Chen, Annette Y. Lee-Chai, and John A. Bargh, “Relationship Orientation as a Moderator of the Effects of Social Power,”
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
80 (2001): 173–187; and Katherine A. DeCelles, D. Scott DeRue, Joshua D. Margolis, and Tara L. Ceranic, “Does Power Corrupt or Enable? When and Why Power Facilitates Self-Interested Behavior,”
Journal of Applied Psychology
97 (2012): 681–689.

ultimatum game
:
Daniel Kahneman, Jack L. Knetsch, and Richard H. Thaler, “Fairness and the Assumptions of Economics,”
Journal of Business
59 (1986): S285–S300.

sharing reputational information
:
Matthew Feinberg, Joey Cheng, and Robb Willer, “Gossip as an Effective and Low-Cost Form of Punishment,”
Behavioral and Brain Sciences
35 (2012): 25; and Matthew Feinberg, Robb Willer, Jennifer Stellar, and Dacher Keltner, “The Virtues of Gossip: Reputational Information Sharing as Prosocial Behavior,”
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
102 (2012): 1015–1030.

“can’t pursue the benefits of networks”
:
Wayne E. Baker,
Achieving Success Through Social Capital: Tapping Hidden Resources in Your Personal and Business Networks
(San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2000), 19.

CEOs in computer hardware and software companies
:
Arijit Chatterjee and Donald C. Hambrick, “It’s All about Me: Narcissistic Chief Executive Officers and Their Effects on Company Strategy and Performance,”
Administrative Science Quarterly
52 (2007): 351–386.

“network ties are the conduits”
:
Benjamin S. Crosier, Gregory D. Webster, and Haley M. Dillon, “Wired to Connect: Evolutionary Psychology and Social Networks,”
Review of General Psychology
16 (2012): 230–239.

Facebook profiles
:
Laura E. Buffardi and W. Keith Campbell, “Narcissism and Social Networking Websites,”
Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin
34 (2008): 1303–1314.

social media to catch takers
:
Personal interview with Howard Lee (December 11, 2011).

more LinkedIn connections
:
Jessica Shambora, “
Fortune
’s Best Networker,”
Fortune
, February 9, 2011, accessed January 26, 2012, http://tech.fortune.cnn.com/2011/02/09/fortunes-best-networker/.

“Adam Rifkin”
:
Personal interviews with Adam Rifkin (January 28, 2012), Jessica Shambora (February 9, 2012), Raymond Rouf (February 16, 2012), and Eghosa Omoigui (March 14, 2012); visit to 106 Miles (May 9, 2012); Brian Norgard conversation (http://namesake.com/conversation/brian/like-welcome-ifindkarma-namesake-community); Adam Rifkin’s website (http://ifindkarma.com/) and Graham Spencer
’
s websites (www.gspencer.net).

norm of reciprocity
:
Robert B. Cialdini,
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
(New York: HarperBusiness, 2006).

“It’s better to give before you receive”
:
Keith Ferrazzi and Tahl Raz,
Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time
(New York: Crown Business, 2005), 22.

“hopes of getting something in return”
:
Personal interview with Dan Weinstein (January 26, 2012).

“How can I help”
:
Guy Kawasaki interview with Warren Cass, accessed May 14, 2012, www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_OsWvp2X8gk.

“weak ties”
:
Mark Granovetter, “The Strength of Weak Ties: A Network Theory Revisited,”
Sociological Theory
1 (1983): 201–233.

pronoia
:
Fred H. Goldner, “Pronoia,”
Social Problems
30 (1982): 82–91; and personal interview with Brian Little (January 24, 2011).

dormant ties
:
Daniel Z. Levin, Jorge Walter, and J. Keith Murnighan, “Dormant Ties: The Value of Reconnecting,”
Organization Science
22 (2011): 923–939; and “The Power of Reconnection: How Dormant Ties Can Surprise You,”
MIT Sloan Management Review
52 (2011): 45–50.

energy through networks
:
Rob Cross, Wayne Baker, and Andrew Parker, “What Creates Energy in Organizations?”
MIT Sloan Management Review
44 (2003): 51–56.

“someone else will do something for me down the road”
:
Robert Putnam,
Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community
(New York: Simon & Schuster, 2000), 21.

giving can be contagious
:
James H. Fowler and Nicholas A. Christakis, “Cooperative Behavior Cascades in Human Social Networks,”
PNAS
107 (2010): 5334–5338.

consistent givers
:
J. Mark Weber and J. Keith Murnighan, “Suckers or Saviors? Consistent Contributors in Social Dilemmas,”
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
95 (2008) 1340–1353.

professional engineers
:
Francis J. Flynn, “How Much Should I Give and How Often? The Effects of Generosity and Frequency of Favor Exchange on Social Status and Productivity,”
Academy of Management Journal
46 (2003): 539–553.

Chapter 3: The Ripple Effect