B0161IZ63U (A) (17 page)

The provost raised her head, clasping her hands together.  “That’s all well and good, Ms. James, but at the end of the day, we’re not running a women’s shelter here.  We’re running a school.”

Lila counted to ten, and then decided to let that comment breeze right on by. “I looked into it.  There’s an entire wing in The Health Services building that’s going unused.  I think it would be the perfect place to open an office dedicated to sexual assault prevention.  An office that will also hold bi-weekly meetings for students to come and talk when they’ve been put on a three week waitlist.”

Dr. Elyse shifted.

“It would also house a 24-Hour Emergency Abuse Hotline. I would want this organization to be announced campus wide, with information available in every common area, in the hands of every resident advisor, and on the bulletin boards of every lecture hall.”  She swallowed when she saw the hardness in the provost’s eyes, but charged on.  “I would be willing to run and fund the organization myself, but I wanted to run it by you first.  I was thinking of calling it
The Safe Space
.”  She took a hold of her necklace between shaky fingers, breathing deep.

“Okay, Lila, let me slow you down a little.  Where is all of this coming from?”

“To be honest, it’s been on my mind for quite a while, and with the recent tragedy in Harvard Yard, I can no longer sit quietly.  I recently had a girl come to me with her story of being raped.  Her name is Julie.  It was videotaped and spread all over campus.  She’s devastated, and I worked hard to have the video removed.” Jack was the one who’d worked hard to have that video removed, but Lila knew better than to mention that.  She was perfectly fine putting her name on the chopping block, but she wouldn’t do that to Jack.  No matter how much she hated him.  “Word must have gotten around, because more girls came to me, and then even more. In the last week, alone, I’ve had seven girls come to me telling me their stories of abuse on campus.  Most of them heard about me through word of mouth, and they said they had nowhere else to go. They said they had
nowhere else to go.
I find that pretty disturbing, to say the absolute least, and it needs to change as soon as possible.”

“It’s not as easy as one, two, three, Ms. James.  There are forms that need to be filled out--”

Lila slapped down the forms she’d been clutching in her hands since the beginning of the meeting.  “Signed, sealed, delivered, and notarized.  I went through all of the required documentation last night.  It’s all there.”

Dr. Elyse didn’t even look at it.  “It’s not just the documentation.  An official request has to be made to the--”

Lila slammed down another piece of paper.  She tapped her finger against the official request that was also
signed, sealed
and
delivered. 
“I also have letters from several of the girls who’ve come to me.  One of them is anonymous, but these are real students, who are really hurting, and they do not have a real outlet.”

“May I ask what it is that makes you so passionate about this?”

Lila let that question simmer.  “Let’s just say that I can level with these girls in a way a lot of people can’t.”

Elyse raised her chin, understanding, before leaning forward on her desk. “Lila, you’re aware that the university just kicked off a very large, very public fundraising campaign…”

“Yes, I’m aware of the fundraising campaign.”

“Ten mil--”

“Million in potential funding, the largest any institution of higher learning has ever pursued.”  Lila nodded.  “I know all about it, but I have no idea what it has to do with any of this.”

“Awaiting this kind of funding puts the university in a fragile position.  We can’t ruffle too many feathers.  We can’t make too much noise.”

Lila listened with her mouth wide open, shocked when what Elyse was trying to say finally began to sink in.

“Politics are a sensitive subject for anyone, but when millions of dollars are on the line,
sensitive
can veer into
explosive
very quickly.”

Lila blinked rapidly.  “And helping students who are victims of abuse is going to hurt Harvard’s reputation, how? Expanding on a Mental Health Services Department that is notoriously lacking is going to hurt Harvard’s reputation, how?” She was aware she was veering into a snarky territory, but hadn’t the control to stop herself. “If anything, taking these steps is going to make the university look ten times better.  Acknowledging that you’ve failed these victims is not a weakness, it’s a strength.”

“In a perfect world.  Yes.  Maybe.”

Lila sat back, blown away by this conversation. It was occurring to her that not only was this proposal not going to get approved today, but that she was going to have to fight tooth and nail to get it approved, at all.

Dr. Elyse pressed her hands to her brown cheeks, sighing.  “Ms. James, I’m on your side.  I want to see you succeed.  I want you to have a long, illustrious career here at Harvard.  I want you to flourish here, and retire here.”

“I want all that, too,” Lila said. “And I want to be proud of my time at this school, but there’s no way I can hold my head up and be proud knowing this gaping black hole exists. It’s not as if I’m going to take this gaping hole to the
Crimson
and rip the school apart.”  As Lila said those words, and as the reality of the situation slowly swooped down and engulfed her, she wondered if going to the school’s paper, The Harvard Crimson, with this proposal, would be the worst idea. She kept that thought to herself, still hoping she could find a way to sway the provost into her way of seeing things.  “All I’m asking for is a place for them to come when they’ve been hurt and feel like they have nowhere else to turn.”

It was as if Dr. Elyse wasn’t hearing her.  “Avoid the politics.  At all costs.  Just something to keep in the back of your mind while you consider all of your options.”

Lila wanted to laugh.  What options?  From what she’d gathered during this brief meeting, she had only
two
options.  Sit down, and shut up.

She felt like she was in the middle of a bad mafia movie.  Would she climb into bed later that night and find a horse’s head lying next to her pillow?  At that point, she wouldn’t be surprised.

Lila shook her head in awe.

If Dr. Elyse was aware of Lila’s disapproval, she didn’t show it.  Her face remained stoic. “We’re both black women in a highly competitive, highly Caucasian environment.”

In much the way Dean Perkins had, Dr. Elyse was opening up to Lila.  Trying to connect with her.  This time, it didn’t feel so special. 

“Your review is also coming up quickly.  You’re an excellent lecturer with a long road ahead of you. This is a fragile fork in that long road, and being a young black woman will only work to make that fork even more unstable than it already is.  I’d advise you to tread carefully here, Ms. James.”

When the silence went on, Lila’s eyes finally blinked open.

She was speechless.

--

Chase sat on the edge of her desk after class the next day, his eyes following Lila as she paced in front of the whiteboard.  Her heels clicked as she did.

With each moment that passed, his smile grew more.

Lila made claws as she moved back and forth.  “I wanted to reach across that desk and slap the shit out of her.”

“That’s fair.”

“I can’t believe she would threaten me like that. God, I almost put in my fucking notice, right then and there.  Then I realized, if I left, these poor kids really wouldn’t have a chance in hell. If Dr. Elyse thinks it’ll be that easy to silence Lila James, she’s got another think coming.”

“It’s sexy when you get angry like this,” Chase whispered.  “Damn.  Keep going.”

Lila continued to pace, barely listening to him.  “It just makes you wonder how many girls have gone ignored at Harvard all of these years, too scared to say anything.  How many girls have felt completely terrified and alone?  With no one to turn to? There have probably been hundreds, Chase. Hundreds of girls who never came forward.  At Harvard.  Harvard!  A place touted as the most forward thinking institution in the country. It’s a fucking outrage.  This university is
constantly
on the verge of acquiring massive amounts of funding.  If that’s reason enough for them to turn a blind eye when these students need help, god only knows how many blind eyes they’ve turned, how many shoes they’ve spat on, how many courageous young people they’ve turned away.  They charge $60000 a year in tuition, have over 30 billion in endowments—none of which goes towards helping victims of sexual abuse, by the way—and they act like setting up real sexual prevention resources on campus is completely out of the question.  What the hell are they waiting for?  For another student to jump?  It’s completely fucking
unacceptable
.”

Chase held his hands out.  “You’re right.”

“I’ll be damned if I sit around and act like Harvard’s dutiful daughter while innocent girls are
jumping
to their deaths because their cries for help have gone ignored.” Lila slammed her hands on her hips, chest heaving.

His green eyes grew with adoration.  “So what do you plan to do about it?”

Lila’s eyes met his, and her mind raced.  Before she could respond, her phone rang to life.

Her purse sat on the desk next to Chase, on the opposite side of his body.  She moved to him, reaching across his lap to grab the bag.

He took the bag in his hand as well, and didn’t release it.  He held her eyes.

Lila froze, her breath catching. The current floating between them was calmer than normal, but she wasn’t fooled.  It was the calm before the storm.  If she lingered across his body any longer, with his hand over hers, and her tits in full view passed the neckline of her top, it was only a matter of seconds before that calm current blasted to life, when she least expected it. 

Their live wire was never to be trusted.

She knew she should pull away before it zapped her, but she couldn’t.

Thankfully, he released her bag, eyes staying on hers even as she took several healthy steps away from him and turned her back.  She took her phone from her bag, rushing to answer it before it got sent to voicemail.

““This is Lila James.”  She turned toward him just in time to see Chase stand tall and make his way up to her.  He ran his hands down his chest as he moved languidly, towering over her.  She found herself wondering, for the millionth time it seemed, when he had gotten so tall, so strong. 

The voice on the other line was a heaven sent distraction.

“Mom,” Lila cried out, her eyes widening.

Chase’s eyes widened, as well, a smile immediately coming to his face.  “Alicia?  Tell her I say hi.”

Lila wasn’t listening.  “Mom, slow down.  I can’t understand a word you’re saying.”  She looked up and met Chase’s eyes.

He was immediately sobered at the panicked look on her face.

Lila brought a hand to her forehead.  “Yeah, I know. I
know.
Of course I wished her a happy birthday.”  She frowned.  “No, I haven’t had a chance to visit her.  I was going to do it this weekend. I live in Cambridge, Mom.  I work here.  I can’t be in two places at once.”

Chase watched as Lila hung up the phone.  “What is it?” 

Lila brought a hand to her mouth, fighting the urge to cry.

“Talk to me,” Chase said.

“You know it’s Danielle’s birthday today…”

Chase nodded.

“My mom is going off the rails, again.” Sadness clouded her face.

Chase’s face collapsed in disappointment.  “Shit.”

“She says that my father walked out.  I guess he’s had all he could take.”  She turned away from him and began gathering her things.  “I have to get there, right now.  I was going to wait until the weekend, but…”

“What about class tomorrow?”

Lila turned to him, throwing her arm out.  “Cancelled.  I can’t drive to New York, check on her, and drive back in less than twenty-four hours.  I’ll have to cancel the class and take a long weekend.”

“Fly.  There in 30 minutes, back by tomorrow morning.”

“Sure.  Meanwhile, my bank account will be on life support, barely living to tell the tale.  Not all of us have an inheritance that we can abuse at our leisure.” She realized she was taking her frustration out on him unfairly.  “I just have to cancel the damn class.”

“You’re up for assistant professor.  It’s probably not a great idea to cancel the class.”

“It’s probably not a great idea to do a lot of the things I’ve done in this life, Chase.” Her kitchen sink sprang to mind.  “But alas!” She waved her arm.  “Here I am.”

“I’ll pay for the flight.”

“Absolutely not.”

Sensing she really wouldn’t budge when it came to taking money from him, Chase thought long and hard.  “I’ll come with you.  I have a ton of airline miles. I can transfer some to you, that way no one has to pay for anything.  But I’d have to go with you.”

“How convenient.”

His smile was back, and he only shrugged.  “Take it or leave it, James.”

Lila thought of her mother, who had been slowly falling apart, and didn’t have the heart to fight him.

“Okay.  Deal.  Thank you, Chase.”

--

Hours later, Lila pulled a rental car into the only open parking spot near her parent’s house. As luck would have it, the spot was less than a block away from their Brooklyn Heights brownstone.  The streets of this neighborhood were constantly jam packed with cars, and getting a parking spot that didn’t spell a country mile hike was always a blessing. 

As she took in the two-story brownstone her late grandparents had bought dirt cheap back in the fifties, and then handed down to her parents, she had the distinct urge to run.

“I do
not
have pleasant memories at this house,” she whispered. “And I mean none. Zero.  Zilch. I don’t think I can do this.” 

She turned to the passenger’s side. Chase’s entire body was turned sideways in his seat, craned towards her.  He rested his hand on her headrest, making his long arm flex, and leveled her with his eyes.