Babies for Nikki (8 page)

“If you want to leave, we’ll bring you back to the mall to get your vehicle,” Alexander told her calmly, barely containing the anger that was consuming him.

Butler looked at his triad partner and saw that he was deeply hurt. He understood that the anger that consumed Alex was a direct result of the pain and despair that had quickly overwhelmed him. Butler held onto Nikki, unable to let her go despite the fact that she wanted them both to be as far away from her as possible.

Alex had no such problem, though. He immediately let her go, picked up his discarded clothing, and turned to walk to the bedroom door, pulling it open with such force, it slammed against the wall and bounced closed behind him.

The panic that had enveloped Nikki abated somewhat as she watched Alex leave. She clamped down on her emotions, determined not to cave in to the empathy that immediately invaded her heart. She couldn’t give in to the feeling. If she did, she would give credence to the fact that the two men believed her to be their mate.

Their mate, for goodness sake!

Pushing herself away from Butler, she ignored the hurt that flashed through his eyes as he settled her on the bed and took a step back. She couldn’t think when he was touching her. She couldn’t think when Alex was touching her. Actually, that wasn’t true at all. When either man touched her, or both men touched her, all she could do was think about how right it felt, and she couldn’t allow that thought to take seed in her mind. She had to remain apart from them.

She couldn’t stop the moan of pain that escaped her as she once again tried to stand. Butler stepped forward immediately. His large hands reached for her, tenderly holding her shoulders as he steadied her and settled her back onto the bed. He propped her carefully against the pillows and pulled the blankets over her lap as she sat up against the headboard.

Although the bed was comfortable, she couldn’t get settled. Without the two men beside her, crowding her, she didn’t feel safe. She closed her eyes and willed her panic away. She could not cave in to the need she had to have them surround her. It wouldn’t be good to encourage their delusions about her. And it wouldn’t be good for her to allow any care for them to creep into her heart. She had to stay strong. She had to stand firm.

“Here, Nikki,” Butler’s deep voice broke into her thoughts. “Take this for the pain.” He offered her his hand, palm up, so that she could take the capsule that the doctor had left for her. She noticed that he had dressed and smiled sadly that his beautiful body was now hidden from her gaze.

Silently, she took the offered pill and placed it into her mouth, quickly taking the bottle of water that he held out to her. “Thank you,” she whispered.

He nodded and turned away. She could see that he was upset but she didn’t know what to do about it.

“Butler,” she said finally, drawing his gaze back to her. The raw pain she saw in his eyes made her heart hurt. “I’m sorry. I’m just very confused, and a little afraid.”

He nodded his head curtly. “Understandable,” he interrupted her. “We didn’t give you much time to adjust to the situation.” He reached out hesitantly and traced her jaw with his index finger. “You have to understand, Nikki. Alex and I have been waiting a long time to find the one woman who would complete our triad.” He hesitated, looking down at her a moment as he tried to judge if she would be willing to listen to what he had to say. Seeing her sitting so quiet and beautiful in their triad bed, he could barely suppress the need he had to join her and bond her to him right then and there.

“I don’t know what that means,” she barely whispered.

Butler nodded and sat carefully beside her on the bed, leaning forward to kiss her forehead tenderly, breathing in her scent as he held her tightly for just a moment. Easing back, he caressed her cheek with exquisite tenderness.

“We all belong to Jace Beckett’s pack,” he explained carefully. “He’s our alpha and Jackson is our beta. Laurie is their triad mate. For as long as any of us remember, our pack has always been mated in triads. The Fates decide who our triad third is. Some of us are lucky to know our triad mate from the time we’re very young. Alexander and I were not. He and I knew we were triad partners from the time we were young boys. We knew that we were destined to form a triad, but our mate has never been revealed to us before now.”

He hesitated and looked down at Nikki, glad to see the fear and panic had been replaced by honest curiosity. She waited patiently for him to continue, and he smiled at the fact that she was holding his hand as she waited. He would bet good money that she wasn’t even aware of that fact.

“And you think I’m your destined triad mate?” Nikki asked cautiously.

“There isn’t a doubt in our minds that you’re the one who will complete our triad,” he answered without hesitation. “Alex and I have been lieutenants to Jace and Jackson for a long time. We are basically the police, the enforcers, on pack land. We have protected and fought for our pack for many years, but the last few years have been especially hard on us. We have been less in control of our tempers, and we have been concerned that our inability to control ourselves would result in someone being hurt. Alex is especially concerned. He has always been worried that his size and his strength would hurt someone unintentionally.”

Nikki could understand Alex’s concern. He
was
a big man. But she sensed that he was also a good and kind man. She didn’t know why she felt that way, but she did.

“He told me that he was going to talk to Jace and tell him he could no longer be trusted in his position of power within the pack. He also said he was going to talk to Doc about sedating him,” Butler continued.

“From what I’ve seen, Alex could never hurt anyone unless they threatened the safety of someone,” Nikki spoke up immediately, knowing in her heart that what she was saying was the absolute truth. She had seen how he and Butler had looked out for their safety at the mall. She had also seen the tender way in which they treated both Laurie and Julia. Men who could do that without hesitation had that type of behavior engrained in their DNA, making it a true part of their personality. There was no question in Nikki’s mind that they were good men.

Butler smiled sadly, proud that Nikki immediately came to Alex’s defense. Unfortunately, she didn’t realize how close to losing control Alex really was.

“I believe that as well,” he told her. “But he is right to step aside. I will do the same. We cannot risk hurting anyone because we didn’t pay attention to the signs that were being shown to us that we are putting everyone at risk.”

“Do you really think that’s necessary?” Nikki asked quietly.

“Now that Jace and Jackson have formed their triad, it seems as if the rest of us have been thrown into something like a mating frenzy.”

“Does that mean you don’t want to be pushed into a mating?” Nikki tried to control her voice, not sure why the thought of the two men not wanting to find their mate suddenly upset her.

Butler smiled slowly, lifting his hand and touching her cheek gently with the back of his fingers. “No, sweetness,” he told her softly. “The urge to mate has intensified, but our desire to be mated has always been there.” A sad expression came over his face as he lowered his hand and looked toward the door that Alex had just exited.

Nikki reached out and covered his hand with hers as it lay on his thigh. “What’s wrong?” she whispered.

“Alex has pulled away. I don’t think I’ll be able to get him to understand that we can’t give up.” Butler looked at her sadly. “We don’t want to give up, Nikki, but we have to do what’s best for the family. We need to take ourselves off active duty so we don’t endanger anyone.”

“What can we do to make sure you’re both all right?” Nikki asked him quietly, her eyes searching his. She was drawn in to the situation by Butler’s honesty and was worried about the outcome.

He sighed deeply, closing his eyes as her scent surrounded him and filled him. Bringing her hand up to his mouth, he kissed her palm gently then moved it to hold her hand against his chest. He couldn’t stop the growl that escaped him when she caressed him gently. Opening his eyes, he peered into the crystal blueness of her beautiful eyes. How he could get lost in the depths of those eyes. He saw the compassion. He saw the caring and gentleness. His heart ached at the need for those emotions to be gifted to them freely. He needed her acceptance of him and Alex. It was what would save them from themselves. He took a steadying breath and looked at her intently.

“Finding you
is
what we need to make sure we’re all right,” he told her seriously, every bit of his soul reaching out to her through their newly forming bond. He could feel the hesitance of her heart as he tried to push the warmth of his emotions into her. “You are the mate we are destined to bond with. You are the one woman who will give us the acceptance and love that we need. You are the one, only you, Nikki, that we will love and protect and cherish for the rest of our lives.”

Nikki’s eyes widened with a mixture of surprise and fear. “No,” she whispered. “You’re wrong. I can’t be.”

Butler didn’t allow her to continue. “Yes. You are.”

His intense blue eyes looked down at her with such emotion that she didn’t have the ability to deny him. She was afraid to admit to herself that she didn’t want to deny him.

“How can you be so sure?” she asked him finally.

“We knew it the moment we met you. Your scent called to us. You realized the same thing when you breathed in our scent as well, even though you didn’t realize what it meant.”

Nikki leaned back against the pillows, all fight leaving her as the truth of his words started to sink in. “You both do smell good,” she admitted, smiling despite her resolve to stand tough and deny either man any chance to be close to her.

Butler laughed and leaned in to rest against her. He nuzzled against her neck and breathed in her scent as if the very ability to breathe depended on inhaling her essence.

“Thank you,” he whispered against her neck, kissing her lightly before leaning back just slightly to look into her eyes, not giving her much room to pull away from him. “When we scented you, it started the bonding process. When we held you between us, a ribbon of connection snapped into place. You might have felt the sudden rush of warmth that flowed between us. It’s only a beginning, but it’s enough to connect us and allow us to begin to share visions.”

Nikki gasped as she remembered the surge of warmth she had felt when the two men had held her between them in the food court, and she remembered the vision she had seen while she was inside the lingerie store at the mall. It was of Alexander and Butler holding her, all three of them naked in bed. The very bed she was in right now. She recognized the style of the bed, the colors of the bedding, even the layout of the room.

She closed her eyes and concentrated on the vision. The two men were holding her tightly between them, and they were whispering words of love as they kissed her neck. Their hands were stroking her belly. She opened her eyes and looked at Butler. His eyes were filled with love and desire.

“Yes, we saw that same vision, Nikki,” he told her softly. “We were both very happy to see you filled with our baby. It’s something we both want with you very much.”

Nikki’s eyes filled with determination. “No, Butler. You’re both wrong. I’m not your mate. Don’t even say that. It’s ridiculous.”

Butler pulled back from her, hurt by her denial. When he looked at her he could see the panic in her eyes and could smell her fear. It nearly destroyed him that she felt fear with him.

“I wouldn’t be a good mother,” she protested, her voice choked and soft.

“Of course you would be,” he stopped her. “Why would you even believe that you wouldn’t be?”

The constant cruel words of her ex-husband filled her mind. How often had he told her that she was a dismal failure as a woman? How often had he mocked her that she was not worthy of being treated with gentleness? She was tough. She was strong. She wasn’t feminine enough or loving enough to be a good mother. Those were the words he taunted her with. And those words were mirrored by her own mother as she grew up. Why would she ever believe anything else?

Butler’s immediate growl brought her out of her thoughts. “You should know, Nikki, that one of the gifts a bonded triad is given is the ability to feel their mates’ emotions, sense their fears, and see their visions. Our bonding is just beginning, but what you just projected to me was clear as a bell. I’m sure that Alex felt it as well. I can feel his anger, and I know that he’s on his way back to our bedroom right now.”

Nikki shrank back against the pillows, mortified that both men had been witness to her humiliation. She covered her face with her hands immediately, wanting desperately to hide from Butler’s intense gaze.

She felt the bed shift under a great weight, and she opened her eyes to see Alexander climbing up to settle next to her, his silver eyes haunted as he looked at her. She looked to Butler and saw the same anguish in his eyes. She tried to turn away, but both men surrounded her immediately, pressing their bodies against hers and successfully trapping her between them. Rather than feel panicked by it, she felt a sense of calm and peace overcome her as they pressed against her firmly.

“Nikki.” Alex’s voice was filled with emotion as he looked down at her.

She looked up at him silently, afraid to speak, embarrassed to admit to the inadequate feelings she had.