Baby (Black Rebel Riders' MC) (10 page)

Baby says she forgives me, but I can't forgive myself for hurting her. And Rumor, she still has it in her to smile at me and be so motherfuckin' sweet to me though it is the last thing I deserve from her. Some nights I think if Rumor were to ask me to leave with her, I'd go, if it meant not becoming my old man. If I stay here, I am afraid I will give into the temptation to avenge my father's death and marry a woman I don't really love.

Lucky wants to meet with me to discuss business, I know he is feeling the pressure to make things pop off as well. I know he has been sneaking around with Baby. The only thing that has kept me from stopping it is the way she lights up when he is near her. She used to light up that way for me and I want her to be happy however short lived it is. I know something bad is coming I just don't know what it is.

I make the drive to The Razor's Edge to meet up with Lucky. When I get to our usual table in the back, he has a hard expression on his face and he isn't trying to hide it either. Shit must be getting ready to go down. "What's so urgent that this couldn't wait until next week?"

"I'm worried about Baby."

"Why's that?" I swear if he has put her in danger, I will kill him.

"Lucky called me; Baby and Rumor both are in danger." Trouble pops out of nowhere and pulls a chair over to our booth.

"I heard some talk. Rush wants to take Grim down bad and he isn't above using Baby or Rumor to make it happen. I can only do so much to protect her from my end. I'm getting cut out of plans and left out of meetings. I think Rush knows where my loyalty lies when it comes to her. I was supposed to pump her for information, not fall in love with her."

"You mean that, that you love her. Would you die for her?" I lean across the table and look him dead in the eyes.

"I'm here talking to you about it aren't I?"  He has a point why tell me any of this and bring Trouble into the mix if he is planning on helping Rush use Baby to get to Grim.

"The thing is, Rush claims Baby is his daughter not Grim's. Says it's only a matter of time before he tells her the truth."

"Bullshit, everyone knows Baby is Grim's kid. What's the connection?" Trouble asks in an annoyed tone. It seems there is tension between these two, my guess is Baby is the source, but I do not have time to worry about her love life when her life is in danger.

"Well, story is that Red was seeing Rush on the side when Grim was on the road and that is when Baby was conceived. Grim even caught them together once and Red told Grim he was her brother and Grim ordered him away believing the lie. Rush claims that he and Red set up Benji and that Sarah might be his as well. What a better way to mind fuck your enemies than by having them raise your kids thinking they are your own and working to turn them against you. "

"Why Grim though, what happened to keep him from taking out Benji?" I am so confused but a part of me believes it could be true. My mom says that Grim and Red had a whirlwind romance and that he never even really knew her. And when Grim took out Benji and Squirrel to rescue Sarah he found out that Red had played him.

"Grim and Red is what happened. The day Red let Grim order him away he says that was the end of him and Red he knew that day that she was choosing Grim over him. That's why he let Benji kill her and Grim well he took care of Benji for him. Hell, Grim got Hook out of the way too, giving Rush control of the Devils Rejects."  Lucky takes a swig of his beer and lights up a joint. "Here take a hit; it's a hell of a story to take in."

"What does Rush want from Baby and Rumor?"

"He wants one of them to kill Grim. Who else could get close enough to do it, and how much would it fucking hurt Grim to be killed by the person he loves more than anything in this world." Fuck, I am going to need a hell of a lot more than a joint to grasp this.

"What are we going to do, this will devastate Baby. Something like this man, it could set Baby off in a bad way. You haven't told her any of this have you?" I am not as worried about Rumor she is tough, the girl has been through so much and yet everyday she has a smile on her face. She is resilient. Baby puts on a tough act but she has a heart of gold. I look to Trouble and he shrugs with indifference. I am afraid his feelings for Baby are going to get in the way and cloud his judgment.

"Hell no, you and me we are going to kill Rush to protect Baby. I know you want Grim gone, but one bastard at a time. Grim is the lesser of the two evils."

"I don't know what I want anymore." I slide my hands over my face, fuck I am tired.

"Me either man, I just know that this shit wasn't what I got patched for." Lucky responds in a grave tone.

"Let me handle Baby. Think you can get the Rejects to back off for a while. Baby's sister is going to be going out of town and Baby will probably go with her for a week or two. If we could wait until she is safely out of town, we might be able to pull something off."

Trouble chimes in, "I can protect Baby, let me deal with her, and you can worry about Rumor. You know you aren't exactly on the list of Baby's favorite people lately." I know Baby is still licking her wounds over her and I not being a couple. The last time she came to family dinner at my mom's she ignored me the whole time. She spent every second with Striker; it was like I wasn't even there. 

"You are going to tell her that I was only with her for information aren't you?" Lucky looks defeated. I hate to hurt Baby again and break her heart, but it has to be done. She has to stay away from the Rejects. He may love Baby, but if we don't do this the right way, a broken heart will be the least of Baby's worries.

After meeting with Lucky, I can't get Rumor off of my mind and the pull to see her is too great to ignore. By the time, I make it back to the Roadhouse she has gone home for the night. I walk past Grim's trailer and see the lamp is on in her room. I tap lightly on her window. I don't know what comes over me but when she opens the window, I pull her face to mine and kiss her. She pulls away and smacks me. Guess I deserved that. She is touching her lips where we kissed and she whispers, "Why." Her fingers are trembling in shock, in realization that she enjoyed that kiss far more than she wants me to know.

"Because if I had to go one more day without doing that, without touching you, tasting your sweet lips, I was going to go crazy. I need you Rumor. Tell me you don't feel it, that you don't want me. Tell me you don't fight the pull you have for me. You yearn for me just as badly as I want you."

"We can't do this Rebel." That's all I need to know that I still have a chance with her.

"You know why you can't be happy with any other man, Rumor. It's because they aren't me." She stops fighting and this time it is her pulling me through the window craving my lips against hers.

Baby

I heard Rumor come in a little bit ago. The perfect night I just had with Lucky is playing through my mind keeping me from sleeping. A loud thump comes from across the hall in Rumor's room. I peek out my door and see the light from her lamp shinning through the bottom.

"Hey, you still awake..." I can't believe my eyes. Rumor and Rebel have a hold of one another in a death grip, making out on her bed.

"Baby wait," my sister calls out to me. I'm not upset, I just am in shock really.

"It can wait, we can talk tomorrow." I am about to close the door when Rebel asks me to stay, he had better not think he can have us both. I have a seat at Rumor's vanity keeping my distance; I swear if he is trying to pull some shit, I will kick his ass. 

"I need to talk to the two of you together." I raise an eyebrow at my sister, she shakes her head and shrugs, she doesn't know what's going on but I think she is drunk off that kiss they just shared. "Rumor do you remember a man by the name of Rush?"  Rebel asks.

"I have a memory of him pushing me on a swing, but I can't tell you anything else about him." She answers and I keep my mouth shut, I know who he is.

"Baby, when was the last time you talked to Lucky?"

"Tonight, why wait how do you know about Lucky?" I give my sister a treacherous look but she shakes her head that she didn't tell.

"When tonight?"

"A few hours ago, why?" I am getting annoyed, how does Rebel know about Lucky and me.

"I hate to be the one to tell you this but he's been using you, Rush ordered Lucky to date you, to spy on you, to dig up what he could on us. He wants to use you against Grim. You gotta stay away from Lucky and the Devils Rejects."

I try to be upset by what Rebel is saying, but Lucky warned me, he knew this was going to happen. But is what Rebel is saying the truth?  "Use me how? What does he want?"

"That's what I am trying to find out." Rebel doesn't look me in the eye when he talks and it leads me to believe he isn't being honest. Why is he bringing this to me instead of Grim? What did Rebel do?

I go back to my
room to process what Rebel just told me and I promised him that I will keep my mouth shut even though I don't like it. My phone lights up with a missed text message from Lucky.

Lucky: I love you. Everything will work out. I promise to keep you safe.

I guess he and Rebel are working together. I never thought I'd see the day that a Reject and a Rebel would be on the same side...

Rumor

"I know that look on your face Rebel, what are you not telling Baby about all of this and why did you tell Baby and not Grim. And damn, that kiss Rebel, what are we doing?" I have dreamt of this happening but never thought it would happen. Rebel kisses me again, reaching his hands around my back tightly he holds me to him. My head is resting on his shoulder, breathing in his scent. I am afraid to open my eyes, I am afraid that when I do he will disappear and this will all be a dream.  I ask the question that I am afraid to hear the answer to, "What about Diamond?"

"She was only a distraction, I don't love her, and I don't want her." Rebel kisses down my neck, my chest tightens I have never been able to get much further than this point when I made out with Tread. I don't know if I can do this. "Are you going to be my girl?"

I feel like I can't breathe. The room is whirling and I can feel Squirrel's breath against my neck, bumps raise across my skin. Rebel is whispering in my ear, but it isn't his voice I hear, it's Squirrel's. "Love you so much Sarah, gonna make you mine."

"Stop," I get the word out not sure, if it was audible to Rebel or not.

"Shh, Rumor, I'm not going to hurt you," Rebel is holding my hand flush against his chest. "Breathe, Rumor and concentrate on the beating of my heart. You are safe with me. I'd never push you to go further than you are comfortable with. But just know that the way I feel about you is nothing like how it was for you in the past. When I touch you, it isn't about owning you, using you, or fuck, hurting you. I love you and when I touch you it's with love nothing less."

I want to believe what he is saying as I listen to the slow steady thumps of his heart. I want to believe that each beat is with love for me. But tonight I just need for him to hold me.  Tonight I am putting my faith in Rebel, not to hurt me. The balance of the wheel holding my heart is in his control. We lie in each other's embrace not talking nothing needs to be said. Rebel has nothing to prove, I trust him.

**

Rebel never told me what he was holding back with Baby that night and he was gone by the time I awoke. And for the first night in weeks, my nightmares didn't come. 

I know Baby has to be hurting; her suspicions about Lucky were true. We are supposed to have a girl's day out with Sunshine she is insisting that the three of us go out today to get ready for Baby's graduation this weekend.

The plan is to do mani-pedi's, shop for Baby's graduation dress, and have dinner afterwards.  All of the guys will be busy, Sunshine says that Grim is holding choir. I get the feeling that he asked Sunshine to keep Baby and me away today.  At the last minute when we are getting ready to leave LL shows up slinging her long blonde hair around looking madder than a wet hen. She is demanding to talk to Baby in private.

Baby

I am getting ready for a day out with my sister and my step mom when up rolls LL like a bat out of hell demanding I go for a ride with her. She says it's life or death. I panic, I am afraid that she knows my secret. No matter what she says, I will deny it all. LL tells Sunshine she will bring me by the spa after we talk.

I get into her BMW and wait for her to say it, to say the words—I know you fucked my husband.  However, she doesn't, she pulls a pair of black lace panties, my panties out of her purse. But where in the hell did she get them. I know I didn't leave them there
that
night. "Baby," she wipes her nose and now that I look at her, I can see she has been crying all morning.  "Do you know who these belong to, I found them in the basement, and I...if Romeo has fucked around on me, I don't think I could take it." She pulls out onto the highway her tears are flowing again. I feel like a piece of shit. How could I do that, sleep with her husband—my father's best friend.

"They are mine, you know the last time I watched the kids, Rebel came over to fix the still, and I...I'm sorry we got to messing around down there. The kids were asleep. I wasn't thinking. Please don't tell my dad. Don't tell anyone, please." I lie through my teeth, but what am I supposed to do?

LL wipes her tears unknowingly on my panties; she is so upset she doesn't even realize it. "Jesus, I am so embarrassed Baby; I think we have both learned a lesson today." We leave the conversation there hanging, both of us not saying anymore. I am afraid of what other lies I might tell to keep my secret safe.