Baby Comes First (6 page)

He was a logical man, Hannah thought, asking
the practical questions.

“Do you have someone who could come in to
clean and make meals for you?” Dr. Armanzo asked. “Some women make
do with a microwave and a freezer full of frozen dinners, but
nutritionally, that isn’t the best option.”

Hannah thought of her friends. She knew some
of them would be happy to help, going shopping for her, or running
an occasional load of laundry, but they had busy lives and she
didn’t want to be a burden to them. “I’ll be okay,” she said
quietly, wondering how she was going to make this work.

Dr. Armanzo smiled. “Good. I want this baby
to stay inside you as long as possible, at least to 36 weeks.”

“Four more weeks.”

“That’s right. At that point, we’ll check to
see how the baby is developing and schedule a c-section.”

“C-section? I’d hoped to have a more natural
birth.”

Dr. Armanzo said, “I know. So did I, but with
the placenta previa, that would be too risky.” The doctor spent a
few more minutes with her, talking about the warning signs and
explaining when she’d need to contact the hospital. “I’ll be back
to check on you in a few hours before you’re released,” she said.
“I have two more babies to deliver this afternoon. In the meantime,
nurses will monitor you, and if you need help, there’s a call
button to push.” She turned to Luke. “Nice to meet you.”

After the doctor left, they were both silent
for a minute, then Luke said, “You’ll need someone to keep an eye
on you and make meals, clean your house, etc. Preferably someone
with a nursing background, just in case there’s an emergency.”

Hannah sighed. “Yes, that would be wonderful,
but do you have any idea how much that would cost?”

“I have a general idea. When my wife Gloria
was dying, we had live-in help.”

For a few moments, she’d forgotten about his
wife who had died. That’s probably why he was being so kind now.
He’d been through medical crises before, and would be sympathetic
to anyone in need. His concern wasn’t specific to her, so she
shouldn’t flatter herself or make the mistake of thinking it meant
anything personal. “Well, I can’t afford it,” she said flatly.
“It’s going to be tough enough to start my maternity leave
early.”

Luke said, “I can afford it.”

She snapped, “I’m not one of your charity
cases.”

“I never said you were.” His brown eyes
seemed to burn into hers. “If you have help, you’ll be able to lie
down. And the longer you lie down, the better chances are that your
baby will not be premature.”

“I know, but --”

“Are you too proud to accept help?”

Maybe. For most of her life, she had prided
herself on being self-reliant, doing what needed to be done without
whining.

He added, “Then consider it a gift for the
baby, not for you.”

When he put it like that, it sounded selfish
of her to refuse. “All right. But only for a few weeks.”

#

Luke had been right. Hannah was an excellent
poker player. He had no idea what schemes lay behind her blue eyes.
Every time she picked up her hand, she’d smile at the cards,
whether it was an excellent hand or not.

While she was under observation, and they
were waiting for her clearance to be released from the hospital, he
had gone to the gift shop and bought a deck of cards to keep her
mind off the baby.

He glanced at his cards, then slid a wrapped
chocolate candy across the table to the ‘pot.’ “I’ll see your
chocolate and raise you two corn chips,” he said, matching actions
to his words.

Hannah pursed her lips, considering. “Okay,”
she said, sliding two of her corn chips to the pot. “Call. Let’s
see what you have.”

“Two pair.”

She slapped her cards down. “You win. I had
only a pair of Jacks.”

He slid the pile of food toward himself. “Do
you want to play another hand?” he asked.

She yawned, and leaned back on her pillows.
“No, but I’m going to eat some of my winnings.” She unwrapped one
of the chocolate candies and popped it in her mouth.

“You’ll never be rich if you eat as you go,”
Luke teased.

She shook her head. “This chocolate is purely
medicinal.”

He smiled. “Are you one of those women who
consider chocolate one of the four food groups?”

“I don’t know about that, but I do consider
it essential to my well-being. If I go too many days without
chocolate, I get edgy.”

Luke filed this piece of information away in
his mind for future use. “So you’re an addict,” he said, but she
wasn’t listening to him. She was staring at the machine that kept
track of her blood pressure and pulse, lost in thought.

She was worried about her baby, and with good
reason. Luke sat silently, not wanting to disturb her.

Placenta previa. He’d never heard of it
before. He didn’t know much about pregnancies, but it seemed to him
that women suffered a great deal to ensure the survival of the
species. He thought of Gloria and all she had endured: the painful
monthly periods, the inability to get pregnant, and then the
numerous and uncomfortable and embarrassing procedures she’d
suffered through, just to have a baby.

Their baby.

Luke wanted children, but there had been many
times during the years of trying when he had wondered if it was
worth all the anguish. And now that Gloria was gone, all the effort
and emotion expended seemed foolish, like arranging deck chairs on
the Titanic.

Gloria was dead, and now he’d never have a
child of his own. The thought saddened him, but there was no point
dwelling on it. Margaret thought he might remarry and had started
making noises about introducing him to some of her friends, but he
knew he would never marry again. He’d be a good uncle to his nieces
and nephews and consider himself fortunate.

He watched Hannah as she lay in the hospital
bed. She was a brave woman. He still thought she should tell the
father about the baby, but he had to admire her independence. She
was determined to stand on her own two feet. For a few minutes, he
had feared that she’d refuse his financial help, but she’d finally
accepted it, which made him feel better. He wanted her and the baby
to have everything they needed.

Hannah sighed.

He didn’t like to see her sad. “Who taught
you to play poker?” he asked, trying to distract her.

“My dad.”

Just from the way she said it, he knew she
loved him.

She smiled at the memory. “He made me promise
never to play for money.”

That explained the chocolate and corn chips.
“Tell me about him.” Although he hadn’t grown up with a father, he
didn’t mind hearing about other fathers. It made him glad to know
that some men did things right.

“He was a mailman, or postal carrier as they
call them now. He was a redhead, like me. He liked to read
westerns, and he liked to garden. He met my mom when he was older,
nearly fifty, and she was in her late thirties. Dad always said it
was love at first sight.”

He frowned. “Do you believe in that?”

“For some people, maybe,” she said. “I don’t
think it’s very common, and I don’t think it’s reliable. First
impressions are often flawed. But my parents were happy together,
so it worked for them.”

“They were two of the lucky ones.”

She nodded. “They were both quiet, calm
people. In some ways it was like being raised by grandparents. But
I had a happy childhood.”

“Are either of them living?”

“My mom is, but she’s had a few mini strokes
and doesn’t remember me any more. She’s very frail and lives in a
senior center, where someone can take care of her 24/7. My dad died
while I was in college.”

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

“No.”

At least he’d always had his siblings, Luke
thought with gratitude. And as much as they sometimes got on each
other’s nerves, there was no denying that they cared for each
other. “What did you like best about your father?”

Hannah thought for a moment. “He paid
attention to me. He listened.”

“He sounds like a wonderful man.”

Hannah looked at him warily. “And you think I
should give the same to my child.”

“I wasn’t thinking about that, but since you
mentioned it -- yes, I do.” He hated to think of any child being
fatherless, if it could be avoided.

Hannah shook her head. “What you ask is
impossible.”

She was hiding something. There was obviously
some piece of information she refused to share with him. But he
didn’t want to pressure her, making her retreat further, so he said
lightly, “How does that quote go -- ‘nothing is impossible -- it
just takes longer?’”

For a moment, her gaze searched his, as if
she were considering telling him, then she turned her head away.
“Some things are impossible.”

He sensed that she wanted to trust him, but
couldn’t. Not yet.

Who is the father?
Luke wondered. What
man had slept with her and then left her? Hannah was an attractive,
intelligent, complicated woman. The man, whoever he was, must have
been a fool not to appreciate what he had.

#

Hannah sipped a glass of apple juice while
Luke searched the internet on his phone for the domestic employment
agency he had used before. She listened as he hired a woman named
Mrs. Parker to start working for her the next morning. “She’s an
excellent cook, and she’s very quiet,” he assured her.

Hannah could tell that ‘quiet’ was important
to him, which was ironic, given his frequent outbursts of
temper.

“Is eight o’clock too early for you?” he
asked.

“No, that would be fine.”

He handed her the phone so she could give the
company her address and other vital information.

Hannah gave the phone back to him for the
billing information. She watched him as he spoke, admiring the
clean line of his square jaw. He was firm and decisive, a man who
got things done.

Hannah appreciated his help, but she also had
the sinking feeling that if she wasn’t careful, he would take over
her life. He liked to be in charge. At work, that was appropriate,
but in her private life, she was determined to keep some
control.

“Thank you,” she said, when he had finished
the call. “You are being very generous, and I --”

She could tell that her appreciation
embarrassed him. He looked at his watch. “We’ve been here nearly
three hours,” he said, effectively changing the subject. “How soon
did your doctor say you could go home?”

“I don’t think she gave an exact time, but if
you’re anxious to leave, you can go and I’ll get a taxi –-”

He barked, “Don’t be ridiculous.”

This sounded more like the Luke Jamison she
knew.
Yes, sir
, she thought, hiding a smile.

A few minutes later, he started pacing across
the room, deep in thought. Hannah didn’t comment. He often paced in
his office when he was working on complicated legal issues or
rehearsing a closing argument. He suddenly turned and asked, “Don’t
you think the father of the baby would want to know how you’re
doing?”

Hannah’s heart contracted, feeling like a
stone in her chest. She had hoped that he had given up this topic
for the day. The problem was, the father already knew exactly how
she was doing, and she couldn’t tell Luke that he was the father.
“No,” she said finally. “I don’t.”

He paused and frowned at her. “Is he married?
Is that why you won’t contact him?”

His brain must be working overtime, trying to
figure her out.

She said clearly, “I did not have an affair
with a married man, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

Luke seemed relieved by her answer, but
persisted, “Then what’s the problem? Unless the father was a
one-night stand you picked up in some bar, and you don’t even know
his name -- which I doubt –-”

“Thank you for your vote of confidence,” she
said dryly.

“––you must have had some feelings for the
guy. What’s keeping you from telling him now?”

Hannah sighed. He was going to push and push
until he found out everything. He’d drive her crazy in the process
with all his pacing and the non-stop questions. “All right,” she
said, choosing her words with care. “You want to know the truth?
Here it is. There is no father.”

He stopped still. “He’s dead? Forgive me. I
never thought --”

“No,” she said quickly, alarmed by the
sympathy in his voice. “What I mean is that there is no male person
who’s responsible for this baby. I went to a sperm bank, a
fertility clinic actually, and I’m having the baby by myself.”

“They let single women have sperm?”

“Some do.”

He stared at her. “Don’t tell me you’re a
lesbian and this is the way for you and your partner to have a
baby!”

“No!” Hannah choked out the word, amazed at
the twists this conversation was taking. “No, I’m heterosexual.”
Although in her experience, she thought wryly, it had been all
hetero and no sexual.

He scowled, trying to understand. “So you’re
telling me that you purposefully went to the sperm bank? You
planned to be a single parent?”

She felt awkward having this conversation
with him standing beside her bed, glaring down at her, but she
couldn’t stand up to face him. She lifted her chin. “That’s
right.”

“I don’t believe it. You’re smarter than
that.”

Hannah bristled. “A lot of women raise
children by themselves.”

“Yes, but they usually started out with a man
in their lives. It’s bad enough that women get divorced or widowed
or their boyfriends abandon them, and they are forced by
circumstances to be single parents.” His voice rose. “But to start
out that way is the height of arrogance and selfishness. Children
need both parents, not a part-time mom for a few hours when it’s
convenient.”

“That’s not what I’m do--”

“Children aren’t something you buy at the
grocery store just because you think it would be fun to have a
baby.”