Baby Makes Six (13 page)

Shawn just stood there as Tricia got directions and clicked Off. “I, uh, just gotta get someone to watch the kids.”

“I’ll do it,” Tricia quickly volunteered. “I’ll pick them up as soon as I get you to the hospital.”

“You wouldn’t mind?”

“Not at all. Hop in and hand me your keys.”

Shawn let Trish take the wheel of her minivan. As soon as they got on the freeway, she called Mrs. Henderson and told her that Tricia would be picking up Kit, Mary and Elsie. Feeling in a fog, she looked at the phone. “I better call Eddie’s parents, too.”

“Sal said he’d make the phone calls,” Tricia said. “You okay? How’s the baby?”

Wrapping her arms around her middle, Shawn felt a little flutter. “Hanging in there. We’re both hanging in there.”

Tricia took a turn a little too fast, but soon stopped in front of the emergency entrance at Destin Community. By this time Shawn’s head was clear and her emotions were in check. “Thanks so much. I don’t know how I would have gotten here otherwise.”

“That’s what friends are for. Now go on in. Sal said there’d be a uniformed cop on the lookout for you.”

Shawn unbuckled. “Do you think this is strange? I
mean, we’re divorced.” Funny how she felt like she needed to remind herself of that often.

“I don’t,” Tricia replied with a faint smile. “See, Sal told me something else. Eddie asked for you right before he lost consciousness. He called out your name. I think he cares about you, too, Shawn. I think he might still care more than you know.”

Fighting tears, Shawn nodded. She knew
she
still cared more than she’d wanted to admit. “Call me if you have any problem with the girls.”

“I will. I’ve got your keys and your garage door opener, I’ll pick them up and make them some dinner. Don’t you worry. They’ll be fine. Call me later.”

Shawn promised she would just as a fresh-faced kid with blond curly hair approached her respectfully. “Mrs. Wagner? I’ll take you to where everyone is waiting for your husband.”

Officer Cameron Link, Eddie’s new partner, walked Shawn through the maze of corridors and into a private waiting room in a partitioned section of the emergency ward. “Everyone’s in here, ma’am,” he said, his voice solemn.

“Thank you, Officer,” she said, taking care to keep her voice just as formal as his, though she did give in to temptation and squeezed his arm as they walked through the doorway. He looked young and scared and definitely blown away by the events of the day.

She felt exactly the same—but now that some of the shock had worn off, she vowed to try a little harder to hold herself together. Cops’ families did that.

As soon as she entered the waiting room, everyone rose to their feet.

Shawn knew their gesture was a sign of respect. She, herself, had sat beside Eddie in this very room when Sal had been injured in a police chase three years ago. But still, the sea of blue uniforms made a lump form in her throat. It was a powerful sight.

With some surprise Shawn realized she still knew them all.

After hugging Bill and Sharon, who were sitting with
their minister, she turned to Sal. “This is horrible,” she murmured to the tall beanpole-thin lieutenant.

“It is.” His expression stricken, he swallowed hard. “I sure am sorry, Shawn. I tried to look out for him, but the situation was a nightmare.”

“Don’t apologize. Eddie would be feeling worse if you two had switched places.”

“I wish we had.” The lieutenant’s usual fierce expression crumbled.

And that, of course, made everything else seem even harder to bear. She could very well be losing Eddie. Losing him when everything inside her wasn’t sure if she wanted him back in her life or just wanted the crazy feelings she had begun to have for him again to subside once and for all.

Sal, ever the gentleman and cornerstone of strength, strode forward and reached out his arms. That was all she needed. Tears pricked her eyes. She blinked hard, trying to be strong. But as soon as her forehead made contact with his shoulder, the dam broke and the tears flowed.

His arms tightened around her shoulders as one hand clumsily patted a shoulder blade. “You cry it out. Crying’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

She gave in for another few moments, then called herself to duty. She was stronger than this. Being a cop’s wife—even a cop’s former wife—meant accepting that anything could happen at any time. After wiping her eyes with the neatly folded white handkerchief Sal had hastily drawn out of his back pocket, she pulled herself together. “So, what do they know?”

“Eddie’s sustained two bullet wounds. One skimmed his side, the other hit his shoulder.” He pursed his lips. “I’m not gonna sugarcoat it for you, Shawn. The shoulder wound’s bad.”

It took everything she had not to wince. “What…what about his bulletproof vest? Wouldn’t he have been wearing protection?”

“He and the rookie were supposedly letting an old lady into her locked house. He wasn’t wearing one.”

All she could think was that those bullets had hit dangerously close to his heart and lungs. “So he’s in surgery?”

“Yep. They took him right in.”

Worried sick, she pulled out the handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes again. Whether it was pregnancy hormones or simply the situation, no iron control was going to prevent the tears. “Sorry,” she murmured.

“He’s going to be all right, Shawn, I feel it,” Bill said as he approached. Holding out a hand, he reached for her own.

Shawn held on tight. Oh, she loved Ed’s family. They’d been so supportive of her through the years, from the time she was dating Eddie, through the girls’ births, to their separation and divorce. “Oh, Bill. I’m so sorry.”

“We are, too. But we’re going to get through this together.” He patted her hand. “Now you need to relax, honey, and have a seat. Our newest grandchild doesn’t need to see the light of day anytime soon, right?”

Sal raised a brow. “What’s that?”

“Eddie and Shawn are expecting again,” Bill said just as if they were still married.

And to Shawn’s surprise, all the cops surrounding her grinned and offered congratulations. She accepted their good wishes, but couldn’t help but feel vaguely out of place.

As soon as Shawn sat down, Sharon trotted over and sat beside her. “We are excited as all get-out, you know.”

“I don’t know what to say. It was a surprise. Me and Eddie…” Her voice drifted off. After all, what could she
say? She still didn’t know how to define their feelings for each other.

“Don’t worry about a thing,” Bill said. “We love babies. And we especially love yours and Eddie’s.” Getting up, he grabbed another plastic chair and slid it in front of her. “Here’s another chair to prop your feet on, Shawn. Put your feet up.”

“My feet are fine.”

“Humor us, okay?” Bill asked, his voice conciliatory. “Eddie would never forgive us if something happened to you.”

She propped up her feet. Though she was tempted to say something inane to fill up the time, she had no desire to. She felt too full inside. Too full of emotion…too shocked by reality, bombarded with all the sights and smells of the hospital area.

The tension in the room intensified as minutes passed with no news. After a while the handsome officer who had first escorted her into the room approached and handed Shawn a bottle of water. “I thought you might need this, ma’am.”

She noticed traces of blood on his uniform. That and his Oklahoma drawl triggered a bit of information. “I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself earlier. You’re Cameron, right?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He looked shamefaced.

“Are you okay?”

He shrugged. “Just this morning I was telling Eddie how much I wanted some excitement. I sure didn’t want this, though.”

“I know the feeling. But things happen. I guess the most important thing to realize is that we’re all here for each other. Always.”

“Well said,” Sal said from his position against the wall.

Everyone around her seemed to agree. For almost an hour, conversations flowed throughout the bright white room, which began to feel way too small as cops in and out of uniform entered and paid their respects to Eddie’s parents and to Melanie, who was sitting next to John Nelson. Some nodded to her and joined the group.

What was she going to do if something happened to Eddie?
What will the girls do without their daddy?

An hour passed. It felt like an eternity. Shawn called Tricia and gave her an update. Tricia, in turn, relayed that the girls were fine and there was nothing to worry about at home.

Melanie and John left for a few moments, then returned with a box of sandwiches, chips and cookies from a local bakery. “The guys at the deli heard about Ed and dropped this off,” she said by way of explanation.

“He’s going to be okay, I’m sure of it,” Sal said as he placed a turkey sandwich on the table next to Shawn. “Eat.”

“I will.” But she didn’t touch the sandwich. Nothing sounded good. She knew she couldn’t choke anything down at the moment.

“Oh, it’s taking so long!” Sharon twisted her hands in her lap. “I hope that doctor comes out soon.”

“Keep praying.” Bill patted her knee consolingly. “We need to keep praying and hope for the best.”

Those were true words. One never knew what life had in store. How could she ever have predicted that seven years ago she would’ve answered the phone and fallen in love with Eddie Wagner’s voice?

Or that they’d have three children in quick succession—just to lose the fourth and find it almost unbearable?

Or that one night in close proximity would bring out the passion that had always ignited between them?

Passion so surprising…yet so real and perfect.

The clatter of a stainless-steel delivery cart jarred the conversations to a halt. Moments later quiet footsteps alerted them to the doctor’s arrival. When he paused and scanned the silent assemblage, her father-in-law stood up. “How’s he doing?”

“Is Eddie going to be okay?” Sharon quickly added as she came to her husband’s side.

With a comforting smile, the doctor raised his hands in a signal for silence. “If y’all will give me a minute, I’m trying to tell you.”

From her seat, Shawn sat motionless as the room stilled in expectation. Always supportive, Sal curved a hand around her shoulder. “Breathe,” he whispered in that salty, scratchy voice she knew so well.

Dutifully, she inhaled.

“The surgery went fine. He’s in recovery now,” the doctor said. “He lost some blood and is going to be plenty sore, but he’s a lucky man.”

Shawn sagged against her chair. “Oh, thank God.”

As others around her murmured their relief, the doctor spoke again. “Eddie came out of anesthesia all right and is pretty woozy, but he has been awake enough to let us all know that there’s someone he wants to see pretty badly.”

His speech was interrupted by the arrival of an almost hysterical Jayne. “Omigosh, I’m so sorry I couldn’t get here earlier,” she called in a rush. “My principal wouldn’t let me leave because I couldn’t find a sub. You’d think she’d be more understanding. And then there was incredible traffic. Oh, of all the days!”

The whole group—even the doctor—stared at the new arrival in shock. Dressed in heels, a slim skirt and a flowery silk blouse, Jayne looked fresh and lovely and
anything but a stereotypical kindergarten teacher. Her golden-blond hair hung around her shoulders in waves.

Bill stood up. “Jayne. You came.”

“Of course I did! Oh, Bill, I’m so worried. I think I cried the whole way here,” she said before reaching out for a hug.

Wrapping his arms around her, he patted her back, but still looked at the rest of them with some dismay. “There now, sweetie. Don’t be sad. Eddie’s going to be just fine.”

“Really?”

“Really. The doctor was just explaining things.”

Her ex-father-in-law’s pats brought Shawn to her feet just as Jayne pulled away from Bill and apologized to the doctor.

As the surgeon murmured something back, Shawn’s head felt like it was buzzing. Suddenly she couldn’t have been more embarrassed. This wasn’t her place anymore. She shouldn’t even be there. Hanging out with the Wagners. Eating junk food with all the cops—it was her past. Eddie was her past.

And that was okay. With as little noise as possible, she gathered her purse and stepped toward the door.

No one noticed.

The doctor cleared his throat. “Anyway, as I was saying when you got here, Jayne, Eddie has woken up a few times. Each time he’s been pretty demanding. He wants to see her pretty badly, too.”

Her.
Shawn stepped another three steps backward.

“We’ll allow a visitor for a few moments.” The doctor looked around.

Jayne gave a little squeal. “Oh, I’m so glad I wasn’t too late.”

Shawn couldn’t take it anymore. She had no desire
to stand there watching Jayne be escorted off to Eddie’s side. After a little wave to Melanie—who happened to now be holding John’s hand—and a tiny salute to Sal, Shawn turned and exited before she could see Jayne being led to Eddie’s side.

Before she gave in to yet another burst of tears. Tears she wasn’t sure she could pretend were ones of relief.

Because at the moment they felt suspiciously like the ones she’d cried when she’d realized her marriage to Eddie was over and done with.

Shawn drove back home in a daze, thanked Tricia about a hundred times for watching the girls and making homemade macaroni and cheese, kissed her sleeping girls’ heads gently, then collapsed onto the couch.

But though she closed her eyes, sleep was slow to come. The afternoon had been one of the hardest she’d ever had to get through. Right up there with losing the baby. On par with realizing that her marriage with Eddie was over and signing the final divorce papers.

She guessed that was what life was really all about. A series of ups and downs, each sweeter—and far more difficult—than she ever could have imagined.

Four was the perfect example. When she’d first realized she was pregnant, the overwhelming feeling of loss was so strong she didn’t think she’d ever be able to deal with being pregnant without mourning the loss of their other baby. But now she had hope, and that was something she was willing to hold dear to her heart.

She drifted into unconsciousness thinking about all of those things, falling into a restless sleep, plagued by uncertainty.

Late that night, Shawn tossed and turned and
worried. Nightmares involving Eddie bleeding and alone in the street teased her subconscious.

She could have lost him. The sheer pain of the possibility scared her more than she dared to admit. She needed Eddie in her life, and the girls most certainly needed their father.

Finally at 4:00 a.m., Shawn gave up the losing battle and walked to the empty guest bedroom. Soon it would be time to put the new queen-size bed in storage and repaint the walls a pretty violet or pink.

The bookshelf full of her romances and mysteries was going to need to be moved so she could put out baby toys and diapers. Since she couldn’t sleep, anyway, Shawn found a folded cardboard box in the garage. She taped it, then began putting books in it.

It felt good to start a new project, felt good to do anything besides worry. Oh, she couldn’t lose Eddie.

She just couldn’t—even if she pretty much already had.

W
HEN THE PHONE
rang at 7:00 a.m., she picked it up without bothering to check the caller ID. “Yes?”

“Eddie had a good night,” Bill said without fanfare. “We’re going to run over to the hospital in an hour or so. Want us to pick you up?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Without mentioning Jayne—she was afraid she couldn’t mention her name without sounding jealous—Shawn added, “You know my place isn’t there any longer.”

“I think you’re wrong about that,” he said with a laugh.

“Huh?”

“Shawn, you left that waiting room too early. I swear you lit out of there like a ghost.”

That jarred her out of her daze. “Pardon me?”

“Ed was calling for
you
yesterday, honey. Not Jayne.” With a low chuckle that sounded almost like a bear growling, he murmured, “I don’t know if I can fully describe Eddie’s reaction to Jayne’s appearance by his side…or her reaction when she realized she wasn’t who he’d been calling for. If it hadn’t been so sad, it would have been comical.”

“I never imagined—”

“So let us pick you up, okay?”

She would love to see him, but she knew she couldn’t go without spending some time with the girls. They’d been worried when Tricia had picked them up yesterday. “I think I’ll wait for a bit,” she said after explaining her reasons. “Maybe later you could watch the girls and I’ll stop by?”

“Sounds good.”

“Thanks for the call.”

“You sound upset. Are you making yourself sick from worrying? We don’t want that.”

“I’m fine. I had trouble sleeping last night, but I’m all right.”

“Sharon and I couldn’t sleep, either. I liked things better when I was on the force, not just the relative. Waiting and praying and worrying is tough.”

“I agree.”

“Listen, how about this for a plan? We’ll go see Eddie, then you come over here and have lunch with us. After, we’ll watch the girls and it will be your turn to go to the hospital.”

“I can do that.”

“All right, dear. See you soon.”

Five hours later Shawn was flipping grilled cheese sandwiches while her in-laws were fussing over the girls and slicing up bananas and apples.

Sharon looked especially happy. “This is just like old times, isn’t it?”

“Almost. Thanks again for inviting me over.”

“We’re glad you’re here. We missed this.”

Bill poured three glasses of milk, one of which was in a sippy cup, then passed them to the girls. “I’m just so glad it’s you who is here and not that Jayne.”

“Now, Bill. Shawn doesn’t want to hear about Jayne.”

Sure she did!
“I’m still surprised to hear he wasn’t asking for her. The one time I saw them together, Eddie looked happy.”

Bill and Sharon exchanged glances. “Well, I think they were, more or less. But it never seemed like the best relationship to me,” Bill said. “At first we thought it was because they were at such different stages in their lives.”

“But then we realized it was because she wasn’t you, Shawn,” Sharon said.

“She wasn’t you at all,” Bill added. “In fact, she was as needy as a newborn.”

“That’s hard to imagine.”

Sharon waved a hand as she carefully put little-girl portions of fruit into three Winnie the Pooh plastic bowls. “She wasn’t all that
needy
, I don’t think. Jayne just wanted a lot of his attention. Maybe more than she was ever going to get from him.”

“Plus, she just wasn’t who Eddie needed, if you know what I mean,” Bill added. “Our son needs you, Shawn. You know that, right?”

She was afraid to believe that. Afraid to hope that they’d both grown and changed enough to have overcome all their previous problems. “I don’t know if that’s true anymore.”

“It’s true,” Bill said. “I don’t know what’s been happening between the two of you, but I will say that
there’s a reason you two can’t stay away from each other. Mark my words.”

Now she was completely embarrassed. “The sandwiches are done.”

“Call the girls and let’s eat,” Bill said, carrying a pitcher of tea to the table. “We want to hear all about your job and your promotion and what the doctor says about the one on the way.”

“Then we’re going to take the girls to the park while you go visit Mr. Crabby at the hospital.”

Shawn laughed. “I can’t think of a better afternoon.” Turning to the family room, where all three were coloring, she said, “Girls, it’s time for lunch.”

When they came running in and each fought to sit next to their grandpa, Shawn smiled. Oh, she’d missed this so much.

So much.

“Y
OU CAME
,” Eddie said the moment Shawn entered the room. “I’m glad.”

Shawn hurried to his side, taking in everything about him at once. An IV was attached to his left hand. Bandages were taped to his side and shoulder. A soft blanket that she recognized from Bill and Sharon’s was tucked around his hips, making Shawn smile.

The fierce look in his eyes took her breath away. “How are you?” he asked as she pulled over a chair. “Feeling okay?”

Unable to stop herself from touching him, she reached for his hand and gave it a little squeeze. “I’m supposed to be asking you those questions.”

“How’s the baby?”

“She’s fine,” she answered softly. “And now you will be, too.” Looking at their fingers linked together, she
murmured, “These last twenty-four hours haven’t been too much fun. Just to let you know.”

He flashed a crooked smile. “For me, either.” Eyes serious, he added, “I asked for you yesterday.”

“I thought you wanted Jayne.”

“When I woke up, everything important flashed. That’s when I realized I’d just been kidding myself. Jayne’s a great person, but she’s not the woman I need. I need you, Shawn.”

She’d also realized that no one else could replace him for her. But was it just emotions talking? “I’ll always care about you, Eddie. But I think we need to think things through. Now’s not the best time to be planning a future.”

For a moment he looked like he was about to argue. Then he simply nodded. “All right. In the meantime would you sit here with me awhile.”

With some surprise, Shawn realized that she still hadn’t let go of his hand. “Of course I will. I’ll sit here with you as long as I can. Now, give me that remote. Maybe there’s a game on or something.”

With a sleepy smile, Eddie passed her the remote control without a word.