Back to the Top (Ross Records) (3) (12 page)

“Yeah,” I said slowly.

“So, understand that I mean nothing horrible by this, okay? But I just want to remind you that Jake is still very much in love with you. If you have no intention of leaving your fiancé, then you need to make sure Jake understands that. Don’t let him think he has a chance.”

“I know,” I whispered, my heart wrenching. “Nothing has happened with us and I just keep thinking that we can be friends again, like we used to be.”

“Maybe,” Nick said, glancing at the stairs. “But I don’t think that can happen for a long time. As long as he thinks he has a chance, he won’t think of you that way. He’ll give you space and respect that you’re engaged, but inside his head, he thinks that you’re coming back.”

“I don’t know what to do,” I said.

Nick draped an arm over my shoulders. “Talk to him. That’s all you can do.”

I contemplated his words as Jake pounded down the stairs and reappeared in the living room dressed in dry shorts and a t-shirt. When he plopped down beside me, I forced a smile, the whole time my mind whirring like the leaves and twigs blowing across the lawn outside the huge window.

“Jake, dude,” Nick said suddenly, sitting forward. “You know what would be cool? If you’re deck was screened. We could sit out there and watch the storm.”

I prodded my brain back to the conversation, pushing my worries over this relationship with Jake to the side. “Are you crazy, Nick? What if a tree fell or something? It would smash us all.”

“Wow, Iz,” Nick laughed, bumping my knee with his. “Your Drama Club ways haven’t quite left you, have they?”

I gave him a look and then turned my head back to the window where the storm continued to wreak havoc. The dog continued to whine and whimper, the sounds muted by the door to Nick’s room but I commiserated with the furry guy. His fear was a bit more reasonable than mine, though, as his fear came from the thunder and lightning. Mine came from the feelings swirling inside of my heart.

Nick got up to check on the dog, returning moments later with another flashlight. He plopped into a chair, toying with the flashlight, making the beam do tricks on the ceiling.

As the storm started to wane, my eyelids grew heavier and heavier as my body began to slump into Jake’s side. Before I knew it, I was out for the count.

“Iz,” Jake whispered, gently shaking my shoulder.

When I opened my eyes, the first thing I noticed was the sun filtering through the windows, illuminating the rain drops still clinging to the glass. Yawning, I stretched, my bones protesting the broken rest I’d gotten on the uncomfortable couch.

“Let’s wake Sleeping Beauty and go check out the damage,” Jake said, nodding at the recliner.

Turning my head, my neck cracking in the process, I spotted Nick, curled in the chair, sleeping with his mouth open.

“Yo, dude,” Jake said, snagging a guitar magazine off the coffee table in order to smack Nick in the head. “Get up, man.”

“Damn, Jake,” Nick cursed, squeezing his eyes tighter. “You’re a pain in the ass.”

“I know.”

Getting to my feet, I crossed the room to the window, peering out at the grounds. Several branches littered the yard, tons of green leaves sprawled across the lawn. Squinting in the bright sunlight, I tried to see the gate but it was out of my line of vision.

“Get your shoes on,” Jake ordered, already showered and dressed and waiting by the front door. “Let’s go check out the gate.”

“You seem far too peppy for someone who probably has thousands of dollars’ worth of damage to your property,” I muttered as I worked my way toward the door where I’d left my flip flops. I slipped them on while Nick stumbled to his room, returning a moment later with shoes on his feet.

“Where’s the dog?” Nick asked.

“In the back,” Jake said. “Once I fed him, he raced to the lake, probably making sure Stella is still around.”

“Stella?” I asked.

Jake’s face split into a grin. “Yeah. Stella. She’s an ancient goose that came here last summer and never left.”

“And BK is, what – friends with her?” I asked, astounded.

“Yep,” Nick said around a yawn. “She wanders off sometimes but always comes back. BK chases all the other geese that stop here but he just follows Stella around.”

“That’s just…weird,” I said.

“Very,” Jake agreed. “Now come on.”

Nick and I followed Jake out the front door, making little comments here or there about the branches that had broken off the trees the night before. After stepping over a rather large limb in the driveway, I finally laid eyes on the tree resting on the gate.

“Damn,” Nick said.

“Yeah,” Jake agreed.

Through the thick foliage, I could barely make out the iron bars that made up the gate. The trunk of the tree stretched across the yard, crossing the driveway before the top of it had crashed into the gate. Luckily, it was just the top and not the entire tree or the damage would have been far worse.

“Good luck getting someone out here on a Sunday,” Nick mused.

“I’ll call Matty,” Jake said. “He has an uncle that owns a landscape company, remember? They did my yard last summer.”

“Duh,” Nick said as he pulled his cell phone from his back pocket. “I’ll give Matty a call right now.”

“Damn, Iz,” Jake said, turning to me slightly horrorstruck. “If I can’t get this tree removed today, will you be okay here for another night?”

I swallowed hard as I nodded. Brad was not due back until the following weekend. That wasn’t what had worried me, though – it was the talk I’d had with Nick the previous night.

“Matt said his uncle will be out here with a crew within an hour,” Nick said.

“Excellent,” Jake said, rubbing his hands together. “Let’s go start the grill.”

“The grill?” I asked as I followed them back to the house.

I watched in amazement as they started the gas grill and then proceeded to place a pot of water on top of the grate, waiting for it to boil.

“Instant coffee,” Jake explained as Nick mixed eggs in a bowl before dumping them into a skillet that was also on the grill. “You learn tricks like this when you camp, Iz.”

“We haven’t camped in years,” Nick continued as he watched the eggs. “Not since we were kids. But some things you just don’t forget.”

I sipped coffee, watching as Jake and Nick scarfed down runny eggs (I declined a plate), wondering the entire time if I would have the strength to let Jake go again. I didn’t have much time to ponder this as once breakfast was finished, Matt’s uncle showed up with a couple of ‘boys’ to start on the tree.

We stood in the drive, watching the progress, BK running circles, barking at the chainsaws. As more and more limbs were cleared, I could see quite the gathering on the other side of the damaged gate. Several small groups ducked, bobbed, and weaved in an effort to get a look at Jake. It was annoying, to say the least, but kind of amusing, too.

According to the battery powered radio that Nick had listened to that morning, the storm had hit all of Chicagoland, but Jake’s area the worst. As we watched the crew work, a news van pulled up on the other side of the gate, eager to cover as much storm damage as possible.

Nick shifted in front of me as Jake gripped my upper arm, dragging me back to the house.

“What’s the problem?” I asked, a little disappointed that I couldn’t watch the tree removal. For some strange reason, I was intrigued with the tree crew’s methods.

“You don’t want your face on the news, Iz,” Jake said as he opened the door, nearly pushing me inside. “I don’t think Loverboy would be too happy.”

“Oh,” I said, sinking into a chair. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Didn’t think so,” Nick said with a smirk.

“How stupid,” I sighed, rubbing my forehead.

Jake stood near the window, shrugging his shoulders. “Just leave him, then. Problem solved.”

With a quick glance at Nick, I bolted for the stairs, fleeing to the guest room where I slammed the door and flopped on the bed.

What kind of mess had I gotten myself into this time?

***

A soft knock on the door woke me and I sat up, pushing my hair off my sticky face. Jake peeked in before I could even answer, a sad smile on his face.

“Hey,” he said as he crossed the room to sit next to me. “Feeling better?”

I nodded, folding my hands in my lap. “Yeah. Sorry. I didn’t mean to freak out like that.”

“No, it’s okay,” he said. “I shouldn’t have put you in this situation. It’s on me, not you.”

Shaking my head, I turned to face him. “I’m the one that’s sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing, coming here when I’m engaged. It’s not easy for me and I know it can’t be easy for you.”

He pried my hands loose in order to hold one in his. “I didn’t mean to put any pressure on you. Nick told me that you two talked a little bit and that you want to be friends. I can do that, Iz. It won’t be easy at first, but I’ll do it if it means you won’t disappear from my life again.”

I kissed his cheek, my heart swelling. Pushing off the bed, I moved toward the window, looking down on the front yard where the gate had been cleared, the crew still chopping up the wood to store in the pole barn for Jake’s fireplace.

“I don’t love him,” I whispered, admitting it more to myself than to Jake. “But I can’t just walk away right now. I need to work some things out first.”

“I understand,” he said. I glanced over my shoulder to see him still sitting on the bed, giving me my space. “Take your time. I’ll be here.”

“No,” I said as I moved toward him. “I can’t ask you to wait around for me. That’s not fair.”

“You didn’t ask,” he said, standing. “I offered. I’ll be here for anything that you need. If you decide that you do want to marry this guy, I’ll understand. If you just want us to be friends, that’s cool. I don’t want you to feel as if you
have
to make a decision. I’m not going to make you pick.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to that so I started shoving what clothes I’d brought into my bag. “I have to go home.”

“Okay,” he said, lifting my bag from my fingers and carrying it downstairs.

I hugged Nick goodbye and promised Jake that I would call soon. He nodded, tight smile on his face, and watched as I drove down the driveway, avoiding the tree crew and gawkers as I turned onto the road and headed for home.

Ten

The next week flew so quickly that it made me dizzy. I kept busy during the day at the Center, organizing our upcoming projects and calling businesses for donations. At home, I cleaned, organized, and browsed the Internet in an effort to keep my mind off of Jake. But he was always there, lurking, prodding me to figure out a way to get out of Brad’s snare and return to him.

That was the problem, though. I couldn’t figure out how to get away from Brad. There were several extenuating circumstances behind the engagement – things I’d promised. Like most things in Brad’s life, marriage was a business deal. When he’d proposed, it was more like a negotiation than a romantic gesture. But I’d known back then not to expect anything less.

The night before Brad was to return, I soaked in my tub, candles flickering around me while I sipped a glass of red wine. Sinking into the suds, I closed my eyes, trying to relax in hopes that a solution would come to me. Of course nothing did. Rarely did it ever.

Brad returned late Sunday night, giving me a courtesy call to let me know he’d made it home safely. We chatted briefly and ended the call with a promise to get together for dinner Monday evening.

Monday, after work, I rushed home to shower and prepare to meet Brad at his country club. I had to grit my teeth the entire time I was getting ready, not looking forward to the evening. Of course it wouldn’t just be him and I – he had to invite George and Mildred.

Once the waiter led me to the table, Brad stood, smiling as he kissed my cheek.

“Darling, I’ve missed you,” he said, giving my hand a brief squeeze. He pulled out a chair and I sat, smiling at the other couples joining us. My heart thrilled to see Kevin and Jenny beaming at me from the other side of the table.

“How are things at the Center?” George asked as the waiter placed salads in front of us.

“Wonderful,” I said, unfolding my napkin and placing it in my lap. “We have several exciting programs coming up.”

“That’s nice,” Brad said as he signaled to the waiter to refill his drink. “So, George, what do you think of the latest contract amendments?”

I refrained from rolling my eyes. It never failed – every time someone asked about my work, Brad had to trump it with his work. It was his way of making me realize that what I did wasn’t nearly as important as what he did. I wanted to kick his shin.

After dinner, when the four piece string ensemble began to play, Jenny scooted closer to me.

“We really need to get together again, soon,” she said. “Maybe lunch or another girls’ night.”

“Absolutely,” I said, grateful for her presence. She was my ally and my friend – both of which I desperately needed.