Back to Yesterday (11 page)

“W
here are they?” Levi asked, panicked.

“They’re not here yet,” Maikel said. “They’re coming up the road.”

Levi and I peeked outside the barn doors. A vehicle was fast approaching, kicking up thick plumes of dust in its wake.

“Charles, I need you to shovel the hot coals out of the pit and put them inside the ash bucket. Get that fire snuffed out.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“I’m going to do what I have to.”

“Which is?”

“Charlie, take care of the fire.” With that, he and Maikel were sliding the door closed, leaving me alone inside.

Beads of sweat trickled down my face and I wondered if this was how it was going to end for me. Captured by Nazi Germans.

I reached for Sophie’s letter, the one I always kept with me. I wasn’t supposed to have it when I flew missions. We’re stripped of all personal belongings, with the exception of our dog tags, in case we’re ever captured by the enemy. Items like letters could be used against us. However, I had broken this rule because holding the letter was the closest thing to holding her.

Knowing that I could be a prisoner of war any minute, I did what I had to do. I took the letter and held it to the fire. The flames lapped at the corners first, and then spread, eating away her words, erasing everything she had said until I was forced to let it go.

I felt sick. Ashes were all that remained of the one thing that brought me peace in a world of chaos. And now it was gone.

“Levi!” someone shouted.

Running out of time, I did as Levi instructed and shoveled out the burning coals. Then I hid behind a stack of hay bales.

The barn was old. Dust motes danced and floated around in the soft beams of sunlight that seeped between the cracks in the walls. Sitting on the dirt floor, the air was stifling and the burning smell from the fire pit lingered.

“Hans,” Levi said. “What brings you out this way?” Peeking through one of the cracks, I saw the two men shake hands.

A second man approached, holding his hand out to Levi, which Levi accepted. “Karl, it’s been a while. Come back for more vegetables?”

In thick German accents, the two men spoke English. “We got word from Area Command that two of our fighter ME 109s shot down an American Spitfire in the area,” the one named Karl said.

“You know how those Luftwaffe pilots are – they want every kill confirmed,” the other man said. “We were sent to do a search of the area.”

Levi led the Germans away from the barn, preventing me from hearing their conversation. He pointed to the barn and then pointed to the house. His lips were moving and I had no idea what he was telling them. Maikel stayed by his father’s side, not speaking.

I had to wonder if Levi was handing me over to the enemy. His last words repeated in my head: “
I’m going to do what I have to.”

I felt sick all over again.

Then I thought about what Maikel had asked me the day before:
“Does anybody know where you are?”

No one knew where I was because I didn’t have a radio, and even if I did, I wouldn’t have used it for fear the enemy would overhear the transmission, compromising my location. I would have protected Levi and his kid, not wanting to bring them trouble. However, I didn’t know that Levi was friendly with the enemy either.

How could I have been so stupid?

Thinking back from the first memory I had when I stepped out of the wreckage, I scrambled to find the clues I had missed. Were there clues? My mind flipped through the encounter at a frantic pace and my memories started overlapping one another. Levi, Maikel, mules, friendly smiles, and late night talks blurred the lines and I didn’t know fact from fiction anymore. Then an image of blue eyes and red, red lips flickered in and out like a movie projector. When the image froze in place, I couldn’t see beyond her face. She was smiling that smile of hers, and I smiled too, remembering the exact moment I had taken that mental picture. It was right after I had taken her flying, when she jumped in my arms, happiness lighting up her face.

The image was so real, so vivid, that my arms extended out in front of me, ready to touch the smooth skin on her cheek.

“Sophie,” I whispered.

I could feel her. She was there. She was
right there
. And then her face twirled into a fine mist until she…vanished.

Sophie!

The barn door slid open with a loud thud, snapping me out of my haze. Heavy footsteps approached. My heart pounded like a stampede of wild horses and a thousand spider legs scuttled down my spine.

They were coming for me
.

I pinched my eyes closed, knowing what being a prisoner of war inside Nazi Germany meant for me and I knew I had a decision to make.

“Get up,” someone said.

In a blur, I was on my feet and my 44-caliber was aimed at the man’s head.

“Charles,” Levi said with wide eyes. “Put the gun down.”

“Hands up! Where are they?” I shouted.

“They’re not here. They left.”

“I don’t believe you! Where are they?”

“Papa?” Maikel said with a tremble in his voice.

Never taking his eyes off me, Levi stated in a calm voice to his son, “It’s okay. Charles is just scared.”

My eyes darted back and forth between father and son while I continued to hold the gun to Levi’s head. “Don’t mess with me. I heard you. You’re friends with them.”

“Let me explain.”

“Did you lead them to me, Levi? Did you tell them where I was?”

“No, I swear.”

“WHERE ARE THEY?”

Sweat dripped down Levi’s forehead, his hands shook in the air. “I told you. They left. Son, tell Charles the Germans left.”

“Don’t,” I seethed. “Don’t make the boy lie for you.”

I felt crazed, insane. My mind looped and tumbled, trying to make sense of everything. One minute I was in a room with Sophie and the next I was…

“He’s telling the truth!” Maikel cried. “Papa told them he hadn’t seen or heard anything.” When I glanced at the boy, tears were streaming down his face. “We both lied for you.”

A knot lodged itself in my throat, regret coursed through my veins, and the remorse I felt for scaring the kid made my blood run cold.

I lowered my weapon and took a couple of steps back. I looked at the few embers that still glowed red and I fell to my knees remembering how I had burned Sophie’s letter.

When Levi started towards me, I held up my hand. “Don’t come near me. I need a minute.”

Except for the soft whimpering from Maikel, a deafening silence filled the space. Moments passed without anyone uttering a single word. I waited for the adrenaline rush to subside and when it did, my stomach felt rotten.

Thunder rolled in the distance and splatters of rain hit the tin roof. How appropriate that the storm outside mirrored the storm within my soul.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.

I felt a large hand on my shoulder, and a smaller hand touched my cheek. I refused to meet my comforters eye to eye. How could I? I had been seconds away from killing my friend while his son looked on.

“It’s okay,” Levi said. “Everything is okay.”

“No, it isn’t,” I said softly, and then listed my offenses. “I burned her letter. I almost shot you. I scared Maikel.” In defeat, I mumbled, “I’m losing my grip on sanity.”

“I’m okay,” Maikel said. “See? I’m okay. I knew you wouldn’t shoot Papa. I was scared too. Those men always scare me when they come here.”

Recalling how friendly Levi appeared to be with the Germans, I had to know. Still refusing to look at him, I asked, “Friends of yours, Levi?”

Levi patted my back a couple of times and then took a deep breath. “No. They’re not my friends, but I let them think they are.” He sat down on a hay bale next to me and clasped his hands together, elbows on his knees. “I give them bits and pieces of information, not enough to endanger our allies, although enough to make them think I’m reliable and they give me information that helps…”

When his voice trailed off, I looked up. “Helps…what?” I prompted.

Looking down at the toes of his shoes, he said, “I’m the leader of an underground coalition that helps downed pilots find safety. We set up rendezvous points, getting them from point A to point B where we have people waiting to help them get to safe places, and ultimately back to their bases. I didn’t tell you about it because it’s dangerous and it wasn’t really an option for you. Your plan was better, getting your plane fixed and back in the air. And the fewer people who knew about you the better – for all of us.”

“You’re risking your life,” I said, realizing for the first time what he was sacrificing.

“And you’re risking yours.”

Our eyes locked at that moment, and the bond we had started to build before the Germans showed up cemented itself in history that day. Levi would forever be my friend, long after this damn war was over, and I his.

I took in a long breath of hot, humid air and let it out slowly. “They’ll be back, won’t they?”

“Yes.”

“When?”

“Soon. They didn’t search my farm because they think I’m helping them, but they’ll be pressured to find the crash site, and more will come to make a formal sweep of the area. We don’t have much time, Charles. We have to get your plane fixed and get you out of here or…” He looked to his son and his eyes fell to the ground.

Or we’re all dead.

They’d kill Levi and Maikel if they found out he hid an American pilot on his property, and I’d be dead because I wouldn’t be taken alive.

I slapped my hands on my knees and stood. “Let’s get back to work.”

We fired up the forge, but not before I picked up the ashes and watched them fall between my fingers.

“Sophie is your heart, yes?” Levi asked in a hushed voice.

I swallowed the ache once more and mirrored his tone. “Yes.”

“The letter…” Levi said, “was just paper. The love behind the letter can never be destroyed because it lives in here.” He pressed his palm against my chest. “And here.” His finger tapped my temple.

I nodded, knowing he was right.

He smiled with tight lips and I knew he was trying to bury his own ache. “Now, let’s get busy, my friend. I am making it my mission to get you home.”

“Charles?” Maikel said.

I cleared my throat. “Yes?”

“Are you okay?”

I wasn’t, not by a long shot, although, that’s not what I said. I chose optimism. “I will be, son. I will be.”

And maybe if I kept repeating it, I would actually start to believe it.