Back to Yesterday (14 page)

Whenever Charlie touched me my heart thrummed, playing a melody that only he inspired. I squeezed my eyes closed and chased the memories. I was tired of living with them. So tired.

“No,” I whispered. “I don’t.”

Warm lips pressed against mine and careful hands anchored me to the ground. “Let me try,” he said, pulling away so he could look at me. “I want to be the guy you run to when the world caves in around you. I want to be the guy who can put a smile on your face and kiss away all the bad stuff…the one who gets under your skin because I’m all you can think about. But mostly I just want to be the guy you call yours, because you’re that girl for me, Sophie McCormick.” His eyes held me in place, and he breathed out a heavy breath. “I want to be that guy.”

He held me tighter, and when he spoke again there was more hope, more pleading, more everything in his question. “Will you let me try?”

Closing my eyes, I gathered up all the bad memories I had, opened my imaginary box, and set them free. I did this quietly, without a long farewell, or a kiss goodbye. I just let them go and hoped the wind would carry them far, far away.

I swallowed, my throat bobbing nervously, and breathed in a shaky breath because I was about to take a leap of faith. And on a steady exhale, I finally relented with one word.

“Okay.”

Now, if only I could convince the memories to let go of me.

The next day, Charlie came into the café like all the times before and sat down in his usual place. I waited for him to settle in before I approached him with a coffee in one hand and a slice of apple pie in the other.

He smiled at me when he saw me coming towards him, and the closer I got to his booth, the more prominent his smile became, making the folds underneath his eyes more defined, more distinguished. My stomach dipped and fluttered.

“Hi,” he said as I set his coffee and pie on the table.

“Hi,” I replied, unable to stop the fluttering in my belly. “How was your day?”

“Uneventful. How was yours?”

“Better. I apologized to Elizabeth,” I said, smoothing out my apron.

“How did that go?”

I looked over my shoulder and saw Elizabeth swishing her hips to the music. I grinned and said, “Good. We’re good.”

When I looked back to Charlie he was staring at me with admiration. I felt my face heat, although not from embarrassment. He just had a way of making my blood run hot.

“I did something today.” He pointed outside to the vehicle parked next to the curb. “I bought Tank’s old truck.”

“Won’t he need it?”

Charlie shook his head. “He leaves tomorrow,” he said, casting his eyes away.

“Back to war?”

“Yes, back to war.”

I sat across from him and held out my hands. Accepting my gesture, he put his hands in mine. “I’m sorry,” I said.

“I told him I’d sell it back to him when he came home if he decided he needed it.”

I said nothing because what was there to say? We were both hoping he would need it back.

“Sophie!” Elizabeth called. “Why don’t you take off? I got it from here.” She waggled her brows at me and I saw Charlie smirk from the corner of my eye.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. Go on, get outta here. And take that dreamboat with you,” she said, with sugar in her voice.

I rose from my seat, practically ran across the café, and kissed Elizabeth on the cheek. “I owe you one.”

“You owe me plenty, and I’ve got it all written down.”

With a smile on my face, I said, “I bet you do.” I untied my apron, placed it in the cubby underneath the counter, grabbed my purse, and met Charlie at the door.

Taking my hand, he said, “Do you know how to drive, Sophie?”

“Me? No.”

A devilish smirk found his lips. “Want me to teach you?”

“Really?” My face lit up like the sun. “You’ll teach me?”

Charlie opened the driver’s side door and handed me the keys. “Get behind the wheel.”

Excited, I climbed in. Once Charlie was settled in the passenger’s seat, I felt the giddiness bubble up inside of me. He walked me through the basics. “Now, think of the gears being in the shape of the letter ‘H’. Neutral is in the middle.” He showed me first, second, and third gears. “You think you got it?”

Repeating the steps in my head, I said, “Got it.”

“Okay, now start the truck. Press in the clutch with your left foot and the brake with your right.” I did as instructed. “Now find first gear.” I did. “Ease up off the clutch and take your right foot off the brake and press the accelerator. Gently.”

We stalled.

In fact, we stalled multiple times. When we finally started moving, the truck lurched forward and Charlie braced the dashboard.

“Sorry,” I said, wincing.

“It’s okay. Just try not to break my neck.”

I shot him a sidelong glance. “If my hands weren’t busy I’d throw something at you.”

He had the nerve to laugh at that. Ignoring him, I got a bit of speed going and tried shifting into second. The gears whined and wheezed, and I winced again.

“Let me help you,” Charlie said, placing his hand over mine. “Like this.” He shifted up and over. “Now ease off the clutch.”

That went a lot smoother. When it was time to shift into third, he eased the stick down where it needed to go. Now we were cruising at a respectable speed down a straight stretch of road. I was feeling more confident until I had to come to a stop and then we stalled again. Heads turned when I drove through town, and not because a pretty girl was driving a truck.

Charlie waved at the people walking by as the gears screeched and screamed underneath the hood. At one point, I looked over at him, and he was staring at me with fingers plugged into his ears. I decided I would put us both out of our misery and pulled over. “Don’t say it,” I said.

“I wasn’t going to say a word.”

We simply got out, passed each other when we rounded the front of the truck, and climbed back in, with Charlie now sitting behind the wheel. I stared out my window, he stared out his. After about a minute, we both risked a glance at each other. As soon as our eyes met, we burst into laughter.

It was then, at that moment, that I knew I loved Charlie.

The following day we drove Tank to the train station and said our goodbyes. My chest felt tight when he set his Army bag on the ground to give Charlie a hug.

“Take care, man,” Charlie said in a tight voice.

“Will do.” Tank extended his arms out to me and I wrapped my arms around him. “Take care of him, Sophie,” he whispered in my ear. “He needs you.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded because I couldn’t chance a sob escaping.

Tank gave us one last wave and I saw the glistening in Charlie’s eyes when he stood straight, shoulders back, and brought his hand up in a salute. Tank lowered his bag once more and saluted back, both holding their stance for several seconds before dropping their hands simultaneously. Tank retrieved his bag and boarded the train.

“Where’s his mother?” I asked.

“She’s at home. They said their goodbyes this morning. His mother couldn’t stand the idea of watching him leave. The last time she came to the train station to see one of her sons off he didn’t come home.”

A tear fell down my cheek and I blinked the others away.

We were quiet on the way back, understandably so. It was a bleak day, gray and gloomy, the rain refusing to break through the clouds. Almost as if Mother Nature were holding back her own tears. The whole world seemed to be sad.

We didn’t go home. Not right away. We drove for miles, listening to the radio and letting our thoughts consume us. By the time we made it back to my house the heaviness we had felt before had lifted somewhat. Even Mother Nature seemed to feel better because the clouds parted and gave way to the sun.

In the days and weeks that followed, Charlie and I spent a copious amount of time together. He escorted me all around town, taking me dancing, to the movies, to nice dinners, and sometimes he let me drive.

Charlie taught me many things during that time. He taught me how to skip rocks on the lake, how to change the oil in the truck, and how to change a flat tire. He even taught me how to be strong. Emotionally and mentally strong, only this would be something I wouldn’t realize until later.

Some things we learned together, like love, and how to fall into it. Or maybe we didn’t learn how, maybe we just fell, and landed wherever we landed. We did this, Charlie and I, all the while engaging each other like we were wondrous artifacts to be explored. He held on to my every word and I absorbed his every detail as though they were important pieces of history.

Everything was coming together for us so perfectly that it felt more like a fairytale than real life. Even though I didn’t believe in fairytales, I was willing to ignore that negative voice in my head in order to hold on to the make-believe world that was currently my life – if only for a while longer.

~ Paul Travis

Running Barefoot

T
he grass was changing colors, or so it appeared. Burnt oranges and yellows littered lawns from the fallen autumn leaves. Summer had left us behind and fall was stepping in to take us to our next destination. I didn’t mind. Cooler weather gave me a reason to hold Sophie close to me. You know, to keep her warm. That’s what I told her anyway. I wasn’t above making excuses to touch her, I freely admit that.

In fact, I was holding her now as I walked her home. This was our thing, our walks. Our walking led to talking, and the more Sophie talked the more comfortable with me she became. My arm wrapped casually around her shoulders while she spoke animatedly about nothing and everything. My job was to listen, which I did very well. I listened to the highs and lows of her voice, her melodious laugh, and her smile. Yes, even her smile had a sound. You could hear it in the sing-song of her words.

I’m not sure if my smile had a sound or not, but I do know how it felt to smile, because I was doing a lot of it whenever she was around. I would catch sight of her and my lips would tip upwards like a reflex, an automatic response. It wasn’t some mission she had –
get Charlie to smile.
She just had that ability. It was effortless on her part. How ironic that a girl with deep-seated fears of abandonment made living look so easy. I wondered if she would ever know how much I admired her.