Back to You (29 page)

“Don’t worry, the hardest part is over,”

I look at him, glad to see him more relaxed now, back to his normal stance.

“What is it?”

“I’m worried.”

“What’s wrong?” I ask, suddenly anxious. “Can I do anything to help?”

“It’s not about me.” Jeff shakes his head. “Scott and I are worried about you. We think your relationship with Vuk and Jason … they could hurt you again.”

“Oh.” I sigh, gazing steadfastly at the dark kitchen window, reflecting the two of us.

“To be honest, my main concern is Vuk.”

“I’m not surprised.”

“I know you say he’s your best friend. But things between the two of you seem far more intense that you seem to admit.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No,” he complains, “it’s just a little strange.”

I mentally summarize the past four days. Vuk and I have barely even hugged, let alone in front of him. Maybe he’s just trying to teach me a lesson in taking responsibility.

“Like I said, it’s all a bit strange. The way he looks at you, he’s too protective. As if he were ready to throw himself in front of a moving bus for you. He seems to care about you too much. He never leaves your side, like a guard dog, like a shadow. As soon as you move, he does to. I watched him all night tonight, and I notice these things.”

“Now you’re going too far, Jeff. You’re imagining things.” We’re both embarrassed, but he seems calmer now. Maybe he believes me and he’s starting to doubt what he thinks he saw.

But his eyes stare at me again, searchingly.

“I know what I see, Stella, and I’m your father. Just don’t lose sight of reality, ok? Monica tends to do that, and so do you. And sometimes you get carried away by your emotions.”

“Are you trying to insinuate something about mom’s ability to act mature?” I ask, a little irritated by his accusation. “You’d better hope I don’t mention that to her.”

“No, best not to. And let’s not lose our tempers here,” he suggests pleadingly, although he’s the one who seems to lose it all the time.

“So, anyway… I studied at the library, prepared dinner, worked at the bar, washed the dishes.” I list my day chronologically. “And now I’m going to bed.”

He strides out the room before I get the chance to say good night. He sinks into the sofa in front of the TV, still cross. As soon as I realize I got the best of the argument, I’m plagued by a sense of guilt. But I just head for the stairs and go to my room.

I awaken, trembling, the screams muffled by the pillow. The low hanging clouds outside the window filter the weak morning light as I try, once again, to shake off the latest nightmare. I replay the bit I remember in my mind.

It isn’t the usual dream. First of all, I don’t feel as if I am looking for something; force of habit is not leading me on as it usually does when I find myself in there.

The setting isn’t the same either. There is no awful labyrinth of corridors or the ancient chimney chute. The forest is not the same one I see in the recurring dreams about Vuk.

It smells different; the light is not the same. In place of the damp woods, I sense the salty air of the ocean. The sky is invisible, but I get the feeling that the sun is setting splendidly; the leaves on the highest trees gleam with a vivid jade green.

The half-light is that of a cloudy afternoon. And the little light that does filter through the mantle of trees makes the salt deposits on the ground glisten like diamonds. This proves that the forest is near the coast, the beach. I’m sure of it. I’m sure that if I could only get to the ocean I would see the sun setting, so I head towards the low crash of the waves in the distance.

I know why this place looks familiar. I’ve already been here, long, long ago. A million years earlier, in a totally different lifetime. It’s the beach behind Scott’s house. Jeff used to bring me here to play, we’d come on his red motorbike.

Half the time was spent in the forest, half on the beach, a stone’s throw from Scott’s house. There’s nothing else to see, except for Tyler’s honey-colored eyes looking at me cryptically from the porch. But they don’t soothe the feeling of loneliness, nor do they stop me from screaming when I wake up in the morning.

He has a serious look on his face, no longer the usual Tyler with the smile. Strange and unexpected. He just stares at me, immobile, as if he were the custodian of
that
hidden, unmentionable secret.

Next to him, Fergus’ golden eyes are curiously attentive, looking for something. It’s a sharp contrast to reality, where he never takes his eyes off me.

I pay no attention to him, his peaceful presence provides no relief. And when I don’t look directly at him, out of the corner of my eyes, I notice his form seems to morph into something else.

Brother

I get up
and the blood begins to flow to my numbed feet. My eyes still half-closed, I struggle to read the labels on the bottle in the medicine cabinet above the sink. I have a splitting migraine. I make sure I don’t glance into the cabinet mirror. The shelves are packed with different medicine bottles. We only have one bathroom, so I share it with Jeff.

On the way to campus, I think about that house on the coast and when I park my car next to Vuk’s pickup, he is standing there, waiting for me.

He walks me to class, saying little or nothing. When he’s got something on his mind, there’s no disguising it. He broods and overdoes the “nothing’s wrong” act.

My eyes search the path ahead. Now that Jason is back, it’s as if the past twelve months have been transformed into a tiresome nightmare. Or almost. Not completely. First of all, I’m tied to Donn with this agreement in which he is my guarantor. And there’s his family––the Council, the most powerful family in their world. Plus, I didn’t even know Vuk Wolf before last fall so obviously I wouldn’t have missed him. Now, with the arrival of Jeff and the Siberians, I’ll only be able to see him on campus.

We have hung around together for so long now in class that we are no longer the source of gossip or speculation. We go to almost all the same classes, including the elective ones. Nobody gives us a second look when we take our usual two seats at the back of the class. Jamie doesn’t even bother to hide her distrustful glances at Vuk, which get on my nerves and make me feel guilty. I never discussed the details of what happened that night, but Vuk admits he caused the accident and that he hurt me, so she feels she can’t trust him anymore.

At lunchtime, we sit at our usual table next to the window in the cafeteria. When Vuk eats with us, the table seems like the setting for a bizarre kind of truce. It seems pointless. He and I sit at one end of the table, and the others––Tess, Seth, Jamie, Eliot, Amber, and Josh––are spread across the rest of the table.

This layout totally changes when Vuk is inexplicably absent, his mere presence no longer a menace, and my classmates’ conversations inevitably include me on those days.

Vuk doesn’t seem to find this ostracism as bothersome as I do. He barely even notices it, but I can see that they feel uncomfortable in his presence, almost scared. It seems totally absurd to me, so I make sure I’ve got his back during lunch. Sometimes, Vuk seems amazed at how comfortable I am in his presence and perhaps he’s a little scared that I’m in some kind of danger when he’s around. That’s a theory I don’t even take into consideration.

We barely have time to sit down when Vuk announces that he’s not feeling well and that he needs to get some fresh air.

A long, annoying scraping sound, like nails down a blackboard, fills the room, and many of our classmates, including Mark and Jonathan, turn to look at Vuk’s chair as he pulls it back. Vuk knows I’m too shy to call him out in front of everyone, so I just watch him stomp out. I don’t see him again for the rest of the lunch break.

I eat my cereal bar moodily. Without Vuk, the afternoon will be unbearable. When I get to class, I can’t concentrate on the chatter of my friends, and I barely pay any attention to what the lecturer is saying during the history class. Vuk isn’t in the second class either, so I take a seat between Tess and Eliot.

My back is facing the door. In the silvery light of the early afternoon, the enormous window is no longer the dark mirror that seems to double the size of the room.

The bright sunlight illuminates the clouds outside, but can’t penetrate their density. Gazing out, I notice a glimmer in the strange light, reflected on the tops of the trees; it is Vuk’s green eyes. They seem like a sliver of an emerald lake. I see his outline reflected on the glass. He stops and leans over slightly. The wait is killing me. I peer at the silvery light waiting for my ears to be enthralled by the sound of his husky, chocolaty voice.

“It’s me, Stella,” he whispers over my shoulder.

I turn to that delightful sound, and Vuk meets my eyes with an expressive smile.

I smile back, but say nothing for a few seconds.

“Hey, Vuk.” I brush a tuft of hair off his cheek, the silvery rays now a spotlight for his perfect features.

“Feeling better?”

“A bit,” he nods, averting his eyes.

“Where did you go earlier?”.

“To the library.”

I’m about to delve deeper, but stop; I remember that the library is a sensitive subject.

“Not the best place to go when you’re not feeling well,” I think to myself.

“Any plans for this afternoon?” he asks.

“Not really.”

“Oh, right,” he says, a slight uncertainty in his tone.

“Why?”

He nods his head towards the window, northward, as if to indicate something. The only thing I hear is the ebb and flow of his breath, which warms my cheek. The sound covers the noise of the voices in the classroom and the light falling of rain outside.

“Do you wanna go out?” he suddenly asks. “Do you still wanna meet my family?”

I stare at him, my mouth gaping. That’s why he asked me yesterday if I were coming to class today so he’d know where to find me. I’m sure he had already planned to take me to his place to meet his brother, who I know only as “Dr.” A chill runs through me as I think of the pact.

“I don’t know it that would be such a good idea. Maybe I’d better just go to Scott’s bar after class.”

He stifles a sound deep within and looks at me, trying to understand my state of mind.

“No!” he protests with a whisper, taken aback by my reaction.

I look at him again and see anxiety in his eyes.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap,” he says, holding up his hands in surrender.

“You know I can’t cross the border.”

“Yes you can. You’re over eighteen, remember?”

“If I agree to come, it’ll be to go with Vuk, my best friend, the same kid I knew before Donn’s arrival. Promise?”

“I promise,” he says solemnly, and I instantly see his face melt back into that warm, kind-hearted Vuk, the one I have missed so much recently. How can I not smile back at him?

The rain has softened to a drizzle, a slight mist has risen. The cold air has frozen some of the droplets in the air into tiny little diamonds. I watch them for a moment, entranced.

“But if what you told me at the party is what I think …”

“Don’t worry about me,” Vuk insists. “I know what I’m doing. Just tell me if you feel uncomfortable.”

“Ok.”

“Let’s go, Stella.” His voice is husky, easy going. “You’re coming to my house, you’re gonna meet my brother.” There seems to be a veil of uncertainty in those last words. I just mull over the consequences.

“I’d love to, but I can’t. What if Donn finds out?”

He looks me deep in the eyes, silent for a moment.

“Dumb bloodsucker!”

“And I don’t think I’m allowed to.”

“Who won’t allow it? Jeff or the blood … him? No offense,” he adds quickly.

“Both, really,” I shrug. “But I do really want to meet your family.”

“Come then! Since when has anyone told you how to live your life?”

“I’m just trying to protect myself.”

“Really? Then let’s hope your bloodsucker doesn’t lock you up in a coffin.”

“Donn is his name.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“It’s dumb, I know, but I guess in their own way, they have my best interests at heart.”

“Please, Stella, ‘they’ don’t! And what heart? So you’re not safe right now, eh?”

“Not totally.”

“Come on, this’ll be our little secret, I promise.” He places his right hand on his heart, then adds “I know this could get you into trouble, big trouble.”

I giggle.

“I’m not kidding. Grizzly bears will seem tame compared to what awaits you at my house,” he jokes, looking out the window again. Desire and uncertainty burn in his eyes.

“If I get hurt, we’ll say it’s because I tripped up, ok?”

“Whatever you like,” he smiles. “See you later, then.”

“Where are you going?” I ask, disconcerted.

“To tell Dr. … my brother,” he quickly corrects himself. “I don’t think he’ll be home, it was his turn to keep watch. I’ll leave him a message and hope he gets it. I’ll come get you later.”

I sit in anxious anticipation for the rest of the hour, knowing that this is not helping my situation. I pretend to listen to Jamie and Tess, talking about classwork and going to study with them to the library. But I keep my eyes fixed on the window, looking north, wondering what awaits me. Who is this brother of his? Why doesn’t Vuk ever say his name?

At the end of the class, I get up listlessly and head out, listening to Tess and Seth drone on about a recent excursion to Hamilton Falls. Outside, the rain has not ceased and we head for the parking lot. My car is parked a couple of spaces from Tess’, and we make plans to meet so we can go over the notes from the classes I missed. But Tess’s voice is drowned out by a powerful roar from the parking lot behind us. We turn to see a red pickup––noisy, but not as loud as my car as the engine revs, making the air vibrate.

“Vuk?”

In a flash, he brings the car alongside us, lowers the window and yells “Done!” His voice manages to drown out the roar of the engine.

“What?” I ask, taken aback.

“It’s all arranged, I came to pick you up. Get in, little girl,” he exclaims, a wide smile on his face.

I stare at the windshield, in pray for understanding; treat Vuk as he deserves and go and meet his family, or risk the wrath of Donn?

I don’t know how much time I stand there weighing up pros and cons. Enough to decide that the pros win out over the cons.

Donn is just worried about my safety, but I know that this situation puts me in no danger. I could make a quick visit across the border and be back before he even realizes I’m gone.

“Coming,” I say, suddenly feverish with excitement. “Shall we take my Pontiac?”

“That old wreck?”

“Scott called and asked me to go in to work early.” I tell Tess. “You go to the library with Jamie, ok?”

“Sure.”

“See you tomorrow morning then!” I call out as I head to the passenger door. Vuk smiles triumphantly when I’m sat beside him.

“Right, let’s go!” He grabs me and pulls me in to him, a huge hug.

“So where are we headed?”.

He looks at me, his emerald eyes shining.

“To Carroll County. To Wolfeboro, a town on Lake Winnipesaukee. That’s where I live with my brother.”

“And what are we going to do there?” I ask, curious.

“Everything!” he says, happily. “Maybe go for a walk.” He grips my hand, then snaps on the automatic power locks on the doors. His smile fades.

He sets the engine in motion again and heads for the road. Fast. I knew he would only slow down once we were away from the library, near the highway. So for now I just have to hold on tight. I silently pray that Donn is not following us and that Jeff won’t somehow spot us.

“So… did you manage to speak to your brother?” I ask.

Vuk nods, almost embarrassed. “To be honest, I thought he’d try to persuade me not to bring you along, make up some dumb excuse, so I didn’t bother telling him you’d be coming.”

“Irrelevant detail, right?” I laugh. “Why doesn’t he want to meet me?”

“Well, you’ll understand soon enough,” is the best reply he can give me.

I keep my gaze firmly fixed on the road ahead. “Anyway, his refusal wouldn’t have stopped me from wanting to meet him.”

“Well, it would have stopped me,” frowns Vuk. “You don’t know how touchy he can be.”

“Is your brother… the pack leader?”

Vuk avoids the question and just looks around at the shadows of the trees, as if deciding which direction he should go.

“Vuk?”

“No,” he sighs. “Well… it’s hard to explain.”

“Try.” The moon disappears behind the massive gray cloud obscuring most of the evening sky, but I can still see the liquid topaz shining in his eyes, reflected on the windshield in front of us.

“Ok,” he answers resigned. “I’m a werewolf, Stella. My brother and my cousins are wolves. Freaky pack, right? Let’s say we’re more like a loose pack of dogs, with family ties. You see, there can be only one dominant male in a pack, and when he gives an order, it has to be taken seriously. But that’s not how it works with us. Not between me and my brother. We stand up to each other, and there’s no alpha or beta male. But when the need arises, we’re a close knit pack. Drake is the most insightful, so he’s the leader of the family.”

“That makes sense.”

“Right.” He squirms uneasily. “But my father, Wilhelm Wolf, was counting on me to be the leader of the family.”

I try to put together the few pieces of the puzzle. “So if your father was counting on you, why aren’t you the pack leader?”

“It is not a duty.”

“Why? Wasn’t your father the pack leader?”

“Wilhelm… he was so much more. But it just doesn’t interest me, Stella.”

I roll my eyes; this business sure isn’t easy to grasp. “It doesn’t make sense.”

“I don’t see why not,” he grumbles. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter.”

“But I want to understand.”

Vuk sees the confusion on my face.