Back to You (32 page)

“Jeez, I hate to admit it, but my brother’s right! What was I thinking, putting you in danger? Drake’s right: hanging out with wolves can put your life in peril,” he reasons aloud.

“Don’t worry, I’m fine,” I mumble, but the silence that follows drives me half crazy. I pause, but my morbid curiosity always wins the day.

“What’s the most difficult part? Is it the feeling…of losing control?”

“The hardest part is the fear that I won’t know when to stop,” He swallows hard as he says the words. “That I can’t trust myself. So how can you trust me?”

“Well I do.”

“Why? I’m a kind of monster that can wreak havoc at any given moment. I can become a living nightmare. Remember the factory? I lost my self-control for a second and you were there, next to me. I’m still tormented by your screams at night. If I had caught you, it would have been impossible to stop me. Irreversible damage. The feeling of not being able to get too close to you, or anyone else, drives me crazy!”

“And I’d go crazy without my friend Vuk.”

“Yes, but the fact that I transform into this anthropomorphic creature, this gigantic thing with super-human strength, makes me, weirdly enough, even more dangerous than Drake.”

“That’s not true,” I insist.

Vuk doesn’t hear, or he acts as if he doesn’t. “Sometimes I’m scared I won’t return to my human form. It was hard getting back the first time. And almost impossible the last time,” he confesses. “It takes some training to learn how to control yourself and to morph at will. At least the bloodsuckers don’t have to deal with the problem of transformation.”

“Will he be really mad at you?”

“If he finds out, yep. He hates me doing things that he thinks are risky, like going to the house of a werewolf, for example. But that’s not going to stop me. What a mess we’re in!”

“You’re not wrong there. There’s a lot going on at the moment, that’s for sure!”

“Do you ever think that your life would be easier if I wasn’t your friend?”

“Maybe… But it wouldn’t be as exciting.” He shrugs, then his face changes expression. “If Donn really gets upset, maybe you shouldn’t come back. You know, we’re only obliged to keep our territory under check. In Wolfeboro and White Mountain, you’re safe. In New Hampshire, our turf. But beyond that, I can’t protect you.”

“Great! That way he’ll be right over to look for me!” I whisper disconcerted.

Vuk stiffens, his jaws clenched. “Really?” His eyes narrow, taking on a wolf’s form.

“If he feared I was in danger, I think he would.”

”Well, just remember to play on his more protective, obsessive side next time you see him.”

“Can’t you all just behave like adults?” I stare.

“You really think I should be all understanding with him, like you are?”

“This conversation is starting to irritate me, Vuk,” I warn him, before launching into a tirade. “I hate it that the two of you are always ready to kill each other. You more than him! So far, he’s been the pacifist here. You don’t seem bothered about what happens to him!”

“You’re not wrong there! But you know, at least he’s mature, he’s got a few more years of experience behind him…” he mocks.

“At least he knows that hurting you would hurt me, so he’d never dare.”

“Do you really believe that?! Because his maturity didn’t stop the battle taking place! And we can’t all be saints and martyrs,” he snaps. He’s silent for a moment, then he shifts in his seat to come closer to me, nudging my shoulder with his elbow.

I push it away gently.

“Sorry,” he says, more composed now. “I’ll try to behave myself.”

“Good. But now, as soon as you drop me off, go get a good night’s sleep.” I don’t like to see those dark circles around his eyes. “You don’t seem to be getting enough rest just lately.”

He doesn’t reply. We soon pull up in front of the bar. I jump out of the car and he does the same, taking my hand to accompany me to the entrance.

I smile. “Vuk, I have to go. Jeff will be home soon, and I’ve still got some stuff to do here before I go back.”

“Despite… getting off on the wrong foot back there, I hope you’ll be able to come back to Wolfeboro. “His expression changes, his face darkens.

“I will soon,” I promise, and his face lights up again.

I hug him tight and run into the bar, going over the day’s events in my head; meeting Vuk in the parking lot, seeing Drake at the Wolf house… the fight, obviously, the conversation with Drake. And the words Vuk spoke on the long drive back.

Family

I grab my
apron and expect to see Tyler loitering in front of the storeroom door, his keen ears alerted to the sound of Vuk’s pickup. When I don’t see him, I guess he must be out back washing Scott’s Jeep. I wait for him, to give him a well-deserved break from work. But I see Scott, who tells me he’s resting in the cot. He needs to catch up on his sleep, as he’s been working overtime as a forest ranger in the park near Cape Cod, the one that covers the woods, the golden beaches and the cliffs by Scott’s house.

That’s a shame, I think to myself; Tyler and I will only be able to talk over our day near closing time; as it is so packed with customers now, we barely have time to think. But when things start to wind down, we finally get a moment to ourselves.

“Scott told me he saw you coming in tonight with that guy… Are you sure Vuk Wolf is your best buddy?” he asks.

I nod vaguely, alarmed by the skeptical expression in his golden eyes. I wonder what else Scott might have said to him. “Yeah, why?” I reply firmly.

“He’s not exactly an angel, is he?”

“He sure is an angel!”

This wipes the smile clean off his face.

“Well, that would explain the smell…” he murmurs, sniffing the air near my hair.

He looks at me darkly, as if he recognizes the damp, earthy smell of the lake. His eyes take on… a feline shape, wild, almost dangerous. “How long have you two been buddies?” he asks, more circumspect now.

“Not long. I met him about a year ago,” I say defensively.

“Scott was right about you: you’re a walking disaster that attracts catastrophes!”

That could be one of the excuses Scott used to make him move to the coast from the Rockies.

“Look, I don’t know what Scott told you, but…”

“Shouldn’t you be staying away from trouble?” He interrupts.

“Vuk’s not trouble,” I mumble, annoyed by his criticism of my friend.

“Until he loses his cool,” he says, trying to transmit with his eyes what he won’t say with words.

I don’t add anything, reflecting for a few moments. But talking about Scott has brought back my guilt. “Am I ruining your plans? About returning to Jackson, in Wyoming, I mean.”

“No. I had no set date to leave. I’m ok here for a while. And I like spending time on the coast.” His contagious smile spreads across his face, and I can’t help but join in.

“One of these days, I’m gonna’ ask for a half-day off. Scott can do without me. We could go out and have some fun.”

“What do you mean by ‘have some fun’?”

“I think you need to let your hair down…” He peers intensely at the tall, green trees outside the window. Inspiration seems to hit him as he stares out at the horizon.

“I know!” he exclaims. “It’ll be cold, and a bit difficult. But it’ll be fun!”

“What will?” I ask, full of curiosity.

“I know you’ve tried jogging…” I don’t think I ever told him that… “But maybe you’d like to try trekking!”

“Why not?” I reply. “Sounds like fun.”

That evening, Jeff and Ronald join Tyler, Scott and me at the bar for some dessert. Dora brings along such a mouth-watering a cake that the conversation spontaneously revolves around her superior talent in the kitchen. My father’s worries about Vuk and Jason seem to thaw like snow in the sun, when we’re in the company of Fergus and the rest of Tyler’s family, all sitting round the table amicably chatting about sports and the great forests of the west.

Amelia and Locke are there too, taking part in the conversation, savoring the delicious cake covered in sugar icing.

For the first time in I don’t know how long, I find myself really relaxing, and feel the tension slipping away from my body as I enjoy both the company and the sweet scent that fills the air. I feel better, all of a sudden. Fergus entertains us with a tale, his soft voice so soothing to my ears. I actually find myself wanting to stay, instead of my usual desire to get the hell out when I’m surrounded by people just lately.

Jeff and I stay at the bar until the last slice of cake has been devoured; Tyler even saw to it that the marzipan decoration was consumed. Then we say our goodbyes and make for the exit.

When we get to door, a golden light flashes before my eyes like a meteor. It’s Tyler, blocking my path in front of the door, as still as a statue. His eyes pierce mine, and a sunny smile spreads on his lips.

“”I’ve got a promise I need to keep,” he finally says, breathlessly.

“What are you talking about?”

“Remember I promised that I wanted you to get to know my family? Are you up for it? His smile widens even further.

I stare at him, my mind going back to when he had told me about Fergus and the rest of the clan. At this point in my life, the offer to get to know someone’s family seems somewhat bizarre. But I just smile back gently. “Ok,” I say, mesmerized by the liquid jade of his eyes. “Any plans for tomorrow?”

I see him searching for a reply. “Amelia wants to go climbing on the cliffs, and there’s supposed to be a thunderstorm from hell. Wanna’ join us?”

“Sure, why not!”

“They can be a bit stand-offish with people they don’t know, they don’t open up easily. Apart from little Locke, of course.”

“Don’t they trust me?”

“You have to be patient. They’ll take you to heart once they get to know you. At first, they keep their distance, they look and learn. It’s in their nature, you know? Don’t let it get to you. You’ll have to make do with Dora’s brother, he’s the friendliest in the family. Other than me, obviously.”

“You’re enough for me… Lucky you haven’t taught them how to use a slingshot.” We look at each other an instant before bursting into laughter, as Jeff waits impatiently outside for me to hurry up.

“Great, see you on the coast, then.” He steps out of the way to let me pass.

“See you tomorrow,” I say with a wave of my hand. Jeff has to give me a ride to the campus parking lot, so I can pick up my ride. What a car! It’s so beautiful, I love the fact that it’s mine, all mine. I put on the jacket hanging off the back of the seat and put it on to fight off the chill night air. But I’m still shivering. I think that the invitation to Scott’s place in Cape Cod must be making me more anxious than I care to admit.

The sky is overcast, but it’s not raining. I fall onto my bed and select a song on Vuk’s CD to listen to. I press play on the stereo remote control and turn up the bass. The scenery outside the window is dark and mysterious.

I let myself get carried away by the music, those moving, intense rhythms wash away all other thoughts, just as I hoped. As soon as the initial harmonic impact of the guitar wanes, I concentrate on each individual note. I sing along to the chorus of my song, realizing just now that I have every word, every note etched in my memory.

I lean back against the headrest of the bed, my laptop on my knees. I take a deep breath; I have to get ready for the economics and statistics exams, and I organize my notes to my satisfaction. But I can’t find the right amount of concentration to even open up one of the textbooks. I feel like I’m going crazy. All I can do is think about Vuk’s words, about meeting Drake, Tyler’s invitation, Jason…

One thing at a time, I think to myself.

Ok, since the school work isn’t being absorbed by my distracted mind, I may as well do something else. I open Google, my favorite search engine. The amount of information on Vampires is huge, but I realize that certain aspects are repeated on most of the sites: immortality, speed, strength, charm, cold pale skin, eyes that change color. Obviously that they drink blood, and are feared demons. Only a few mentions of the existence of good vampires.

I read that vampires can fall in love as a kind of punishment for their condition. They fall under the spell of mortality, but their very being destroys any chance of a relationship and maintaining this love. Love is a losing game for a vampire. How dumb! How can they say this? I’m absolutely sure that they are able to feel a certain kind of love.

On impulse, I type in “vampire-wolf” and there are far less search results; they talk of a much-feared figure possessing the terrifying qualities of both creatures, sharing their dark nature.

The phenomenon of the red moon is scientifically explained by the simple analysis of light refraction in the atmosphere. According to legend, during transformation the red moon can make them stronger, faster, intensifying their violence, their thirst for blood. And this is even greater if the creature being affected by the red moon is also a vampire.

I’m exhausted and I push the laptop off my legs. I throw my head back onto the pillow, trying to block out what I have just read. I’m not only seriously confused, I’m also drained. I close my eyes and try to fall asleep despite the drumming sound of the rain and the soft whistling caused by drafts throughout the house. I cover my head with the blanket given to me by Scott and Tyler, then add a pillow to block out the sounds. But I only manage to drop off when the rainfall turns to a light shower, now falling silently.

I open my eyes and I’m in a familiar place. I am in the clearing of the forest surrounding Vuk’s house in Wolfeboro. I know that if I can find the right path I’ll be able to see the lake, obscured by the trees. My consciousness tells me I’m dreaming. I hear a howl coming from the dark heart of the forest, and some footsteps crackling on the dried leaves coming from the same direction. But I see no wolf. Suddenly Vuk turns up and takes my hand, pulling me towards him with all his might.

“Run, Stella!” He drags me towards the darkened house, but I don’t want to go inside. I’m scared, as tense as the string of a violin.

“Come on, let’s go, this way!” He points the way ahead, but I see a white silhouette which, in the half-darkness, comes toward me. I decide not to run away. I wriggle out of Vuk’s grasp, impatient to return to the light.

“No, Stella, come back to me!” he cries, then from the dense vegetation steps Jason, his red eyes glowing like fire. His skin radiates purity.

“Trust me,” he says in a molten voice, as he holds out his hand for me to take.

I take a step forward towards him, and he smiles. His canine teeth are long and pointed. At this point, Vuk begins to tremble violently and he collapses to the ground. An enormous werewolf appears in his place, dark gray with shining yellow eyes, his fur standing upright along his back. He narrows his eyes at Jason and his snarling mouth emits a thunderous roar.

I take another step, and the werewolf launches himself into the gap between Jason and me. Jason suddenly transforms into a black wolf with red eyes, his jaws snapping at the dark gray werewolf. I look at them both, terrified, my body racked with spasms. I abruptly sit up on my bed, screaming in the dead of night. Somewhere deep inside me, doubts are eating away. Something’s not right in my head. Anxiety plagues me and I begin to hyperventilate.

The window is wide open, and for an instant I think I see Donn’s outline in the dark shadows of the room. But Jeff comes in, and I hastily drop the notes off my bed on the floor.

I turn on the bedside lamp and turn to the window, and see no sign of Donn. But I don’t care. It must have been one of my many delusions. I gather my notes from the floor and throw myself face down onto my pillow.

Jeff sits down gently on the bed next to me.

“It was just a nightmare, Ella May,” he reassures me, wiping the sweat from my brow. The images I have just seen are replayed in quick succession in my head.

“I’m glad you’re here,” I confess in a whisper.

He smiles at me, embarrassed. Then he goes to close the window, leaving the light on as he leaves the room.

I turn onto my side, hoping and praying to put off sleep for as long as possible, but I drop off, only waking at the first light of dawn. I sit up on my bed, my head still spinning. I analyze my dream; Jason represents the fear I have of what Donn told me in the Council Tower. And I screamed like that when the werewolf attacked, not for fear of my own life, but for his. I knew and I was sure Vuk would hurt him.

I can’t tell if Jeff is still at home or not. I look out the window and the Corvette isn’t there. I have enough time to go down to the kitchen and drink a cup of coffee when the doorbell rings.

It’s Friday, the day Tess is supposed to be coming over to help me go over the classes I missed! I open the door, a big, fictitious smile plastered on my face as I invite her in. She follows me to my room upstairs, laying down the various pages of notes on the desk. We get down to work without wasting too much time on chit-chat. We take a quick coffee break at ten o’clock and then get back to studying again.

When Jeff comes home from golf in the early afternoon, Tess and I are coming to the end of our study session. As we pack away the notes, I feel accomplished, responsible. In the space of a few hours, I have managed to catch up on a week’s worth of classes. We take some down time, watching videos of cougars on Google to see if we can find the creature she and Seth mentioned.

“Hey, girls,” shouts my dad as he walks in the door. The mouthwatering smell of the lasagna I prepared under Tess’ watchful eye fills the house.

Jeff finds it hard to relate to kids my age, but one exception is Tess. She stays over for lunch and even takes home a portion of lasagna for Seth and Ronald. I feel doubly virtuous. Not only have I spent the morning studying, but the healthy, nutritious lunch has made up for the junk food I ate on Monday night.