Back to You (35 page)

He must have been working out like crazy, surely his body can’t have just transformed overnight. He’s changed his hair too; instead of the bristly mane, his ash blond hair is now worn longer, it’s sleeker, held in place by mousse. It’s not hard to work out where he got the inspiration, but the Bradford family look can’t be acquired by mere imitation.

When we get to the counter, we pick a couple of stools by Bryan’s place behind the bar. I can’t understand why, but he keeps staring at me with those penetrating eyes, even though he seems to have accepted my decision that we are just friends.

I hope that he and Jamie can get together, but selfishly speaking, I’m a little put out by tonight’s plans. The three of us together––my friend, Bryan, and me. Perfect, I think to myself.

As he talks to Jamie, he keeps looking my way. Maybe despite what I said to him over the phone, he’s not quite ready to give up the battle. I don’t know whether it is embarrassment or some kind of alcoholic mix that I’ve downed, but something is turning my stomach. My forehead is covered in a film of sweat. I start to heave, and I try to breathe deeply, slowly to ease the nauseous feeling. I watch Jamie chatting away eagerly to Bryan; she’s totally into him. I close my eyes, listening to what they are saying, while trying to ignore the whistling in my ears. I lean my cheek against the cold bar counter, hoping it’ll give me some respite from the hot flush rushing through my body. My head is thumping, the buzz of voices seeming to swarm like bees around me.

“Hey, Stella, are you ok?” asks Jamie alarmed.

“Not really,” I whisper back. “Just give me a second, it’ll pass.”

“Stella, you’re not well!” she replies, categorically.

“Now that I think about it, I guess you’re right.” It’s my own fault, I think, for thinking I could handle a normal night out with pals. I feel unsteady, perched on the stool. “Would you mind if we cut out of here early?”

“Of course not. Too many people, too much noise for you here, right?” Her tone is icy as we weave our way towards the exit.

I shoot her a dirty look. “I needed to barf even before I started drinking.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I thought it would pass.”

I can’t even look up, I’m afraid I might tumble to the ground. I grab her arm.

“Hold on a second.” The exit seems so far away, I feel I won’t make it, so I take a few tentative steps back and fall onto another bar stool, where a workmate of Bryan’s looks at me questioningly. He’s exotically handsome, perfect bronze skin, thick dark lashes framing deep black eyes.

“Could I have an empty bucket, please?” I manage to say breathlessly.

He looks back and forth between Jamie and me for a second, quickly grasping the situation. He grabs a bucket and hands it to me. “Help her get outta here,” he yells over to Bryan, knowing that we’re friends. I guess that he doesn’t want the unhappy task of having to mop up the floor. Jamie slips her arms through mine and gently leads me towards the door, but before we cross the dance floor, Bryan arrives to help. He apologizes for having suggested a night out, knowing that when I’m not feeling great, I prefer to be left alone. He runs his hand across my forehead.

“You’re pale, Stella,” he says, worried.

“Yes,” I reply in a whisper. “Just get me out of here, even if you have to carry me out.”

He puts a supporting arm around my waist, I lean into him. He seems to enjoy the close physical contact. “I’m as fit as a fiddle,” I grin sheepishly. But as I allow myself to be half dragged out of the bar, I freeze for a moment. I thought I spotted Donn in the crowd, holding his hand out towards me, inviting me to go to him. I move my arm in his direction, my fingers reaching out to him, but dare not try to get nearer.

Bryan keeps leading me to the exit, but I see a fleeting image of Donn again. I come to a halt near the entrance to the bathroom.

“Let me just lean up against the wall for a bit,” I ask him, releasing my arm from his hold.

I’m shaking as I collapse against the wall, the pounding rhythm of the music keeping time to the thudding in my head. The volume is deafening, I slide to the floor, my cheek still against the wall and close my eyes.

Bryan crouches down next to me anxiously, not knowing what to do, what to say.

“I’m feeling better now,” I assure him, forcing myself not to throw up.

He looks at me in silence for an interminable minute.

“And here we are again,” he murmurs. A strange light glows in his eyes. “What I’m wondering is if this time you’ll let me kiss you,” he muses, his tone as serious as I’ve ever heard it.

At this point, I can hold it down no more. I throw up into the bucket.

Bryan turns his face, disgusted by the stench.

“Stella?” Someone far off is calling me, but I can’t open my eyes.

A terrifyingly familiar voice.

“What happened? Is she ill?” The voice is closer now, it seems perturbed.

“I don’t know what came over her,” explains Bryan.

“I think maybe she drank too much.”

“Baby girl…” whispers Donn, leaning over me.

“Oh no, not you too…” I cut my words short; I feel my gastric juices rising again from my stomach, but there’s nothing left in there to throw up.

“Oh yes, it’s me,” he replies, his voice somewhat relieved to find I haven’t lost my sense of humor.

He pulls my hair away from my face with tender, expert hands and places the bucket in front of me. Then he turns his gaze to Bryan, loathing in his eyes.

“I don’t think I’m going to throw up again. But… I’m not feeling great.”

“You’re feeling weak,” he says, matter-of-factly.

“You can say that again, sir.” I murmur feebly.

“You just need some fresh air,” he suggests.

“How did you see me… here, on the floor, in the middle of all these people?”

“Remember, I can find you anywhere, baby girl.” His voice is like a silken caress to my ears. He is so close to me that I have to strain my neck back to look him in the face. His eyes are hypnotic, irresistible, they throw me into confusion. I close my eyes, trying to break the spell, but when I open them anew, I drowsily realize it’s impossible to resist the charm.

“You know that… you’re… how can I put this? You’re quite a sweetheart.” As soon as the words have left my mouth, I realize how he could misconstrue them.

But he just rolls his eyes. “You’ve been hitting the bottle hard tonight, baby girl!”

“You don’t say,” I mutter, embarrassed. “And it’s gone right to my head.”

“You don’t say!” he parrots, making fun of me. “But anyway, thanks for the compliment.”

“It’s true.” I attempt a grin, but it comes out skewed.

“I’m going to get you out of here.” His voice is so authoritative, that I dare not protest.

“Yes, get me out of here,” I beg in a whisper. I’m more than ready to face the chill outside, as icy cold as the hands now dragging me up from the ground. As I leave the floor, sticky with spilled cocktails, I open my eyes a sliver. Donn hoists me into his arms, like a newborn baby, as if I were light as a feather.

“Shall I take you home?” His voice is heavenly, like a sweet taste of paradise.

I nod.

“Was that you actually agreeing with me?” he asks astonished, somewhat satisfied.

As he gets to his feet, his scent hits me, bringing me around. He pulls me into his arms; I willingly fall into his embrace.

He looks at Bryan, that impassible look in his eyes. Bryan’s jaws clench.

“I was taking her outside,” he explains defensively. “But she insisted on staying here.”

“I’ll take care of her now,” says Donn firmly. “You get back to work.” I can tell from his tone that he’s laughing inside.

“I wanna stay with her!” protests Bryan, enough conviction in his voice to seem challenging to Donn.

But he just ignores him.

Bryan grabs his arm to stop him, but just one look into Donn’s dark, glazed eyes makes him freeze in his tracks; a look so glacial he seems like the lord of darkness himself. Bryan moves meekly aside, as if hypnotized to obey instructions.

I just about have time to mouth goodbye to him before Donn marches off with me in his arms. I’m still fighting off the nausea, and his quick pace doesn’t help. I feel bile rising from my stomach again. Please don’t let me throw up now!

“Please, let me down,” I implore him. “I can walk by myself.”

Bryan trots along behind us as I wriggle to free myself from Donn’s arms. My struggles seem in vain, he has me in an iron grip. Indeed, he just bounces me up further into his arms, holding me tightly against his chest. I give in…

“You’re in a bad way,” he reproaches me. “You obviously can’t hold your drink, young lady,” he adds sarcastically.

I blush, but refrain from answering. I curl up in his protective arms and close my eyes trying to cut out the light, anything that will help make this nauseous feeling go away.

When we reach the entrance, the two bouncers clear the way for him then stand back to let him pass.

I feel I could die of shame, or at least just sink into the earth, never to be seen again. At least that would be some kind of victory over him!

I feel his chest vibrate, he’s stifling a laugh at my unspoken thought; right here, right now, he seems just like a happy-go-lucky kid.

I feel the cold night wash over me; I take a deep breath, the icy air fills my lungs. A few drops of water fall onto my face. A chill runs through me. Donn rubs my shoulder in an attempt to warm me up, but his icy hand gives me no relief. I open my eyes and am almost blinded by the headlamps of a black car which pulls up alongside us.

The driver gets out and hurries towards us.

“Sir?” asks a male voice.

“She almost fainted,” explains Donn to the man, dressed in a dark suit, as he opens the car door and waits for further instructions. My vision is still cloudy, but he looks at me as if he were a gravedigger. Very fitting for the occasion. I’m still trembling, I feel dizzy. Donn notices my spell and gently places me on the car seat as if I weighed 11 pounds, not 110. I grab onto the door handle and slip out of the car cautiously. I’m still just a few feet from the parking lot. If I could get that far, I would get the keys to Jamie’s car from the doorman, and I could wait for her curled up inside with the heat turned up high.

Donn might have even let me go by myself if I hadn’t staggered like a newborn giraffe taking its very first steps. Or maybe not.

“Can you stand up or do I have to carry you again?” he asks sarcastically.

“I can walk,” I reply, doing my utmost to stand upright, but not managing too well.

The gentle rainfall washes the sticky sweat from my face, and I enjoy the feeling. I feel better already, and I’m sure I’ll get well soon enough if I can just get home.

We’re at the end of the block, behind the parking lot. I turn right to head for Jamie’s car, but feel something tugging at the sleeve of my jacket. I hear the gentle hum of Donn’s car engine as it crawls along the street behind me.

“Where do you think you’re going?” asks Donn, crossly.

“To the car, then home.”

“Didn’t you understand? I’m your guarantor. I promised to bring you to the ceremony safe and sound. Do you think I’d let you drive in this condition?”

“What condition?” I retort, indignantly.

“Do you want a ride?” His mouth is turned up at the corner, not an unkind smile.

“From who?” Is he being confusing, or is it just me?

“From me, obviously!” But I’ve already got a ride home. I don’t even remember too well where I am. I’m too dazed and confused to care.

“Did you see Jamie outside the bar?” I ask, puzzled.

“No,” he snaps.

I frown; every nerve of my body is on edge.

“She’s still inside with that guy,” he announces, his eyes stony. “Come on, get in the car. Trust me”

“I’m quite capable of getting home on my own,” I brag, though probably not quite as self-assured as I’d like to come across, certainly not helped by my soaked, unkempt state.

“I’m not a hundred percent sure you’d make it.” His incredible eyes dance with mine.

“It’s not really any of your business!” I bark back, lowering my eyes to hide my embarrassment.

His eyes darken, he clenches his jaw. I think he’s running out of patience. “You are my business.” Suddenly his face is an inch from my ear. “I’ll look after you.”

While unsettled, I manage to walk in a somewhat straight line towards the well-lit car lot. “You define me as ‘business’?” I ask, irate.

“Hold on, baby girl,” he pleads, walking alongside me as I stump childishly in the puddles, hoping to get him wet.

“It can’t say it’s not true” he continues, “But maybe I could have put it better. It was rude of me, sorry.”

“Just leave me alone!” I yell.

“Don’t you like me anymore?” A tentative smile spreads on his lips.

“Nobody likes you…”

“I don’t care what anyone else thinks. But I know you think a lot about me,” he points out, mischievously. “And I think a lot about you, too.”

“Then do something else.”

He laughs. This is fun for him.

“This is not funny,” I snap.

But he keeps sniggering. “Of course, you’re quite right.” He takes a deep breath. “But would you really want me to do something else?” There is a veil of torment in his eyes, blended in with the irony of the situation.

I nod forlornly, biting my lip. “Get ready for the end. Have fun in the library tower.”

Donn drags me under the shelter of a canopy. “This is not the end, it’s only the beginning. It’s not a given that every dawn has its dusk, that everything has to come to an end.” His mood swings tonight resemble the pendulum of a grandfather’s clock. “And I don’t want you to miss out on anything that my presence in your life deprives you of. On the contrary, I want your life to be a full one, so that I can help you achieve everything that your heart desires.”

“I don’t need you for that,” I point out, gazing into space. “And I don’t think you understand what I mean, especially that last sentence.”

He throws an arm around my neck, pulling me into his lips. I blush and lose my balance.

“Your warmth is extraordinarily nice,” he whispers, as he holds my face in his hands, staring deeply into my eyes. My head spins again. When he brings his face closer to mine, I’m not the only one to be breathless.