Back to You (18 page)

He got up from his chair, took her hand, and pulled her up to him. “You,” he said, wrapping his arms around her waist.

And then, he kissed her neck softly.

Now this… she was enjoying. She closed her eyes as her heart went into overdrive, enjoying the sensation of his lips on her skin. He held her tighter and pressed her against the table. His lips travelled to hers, and he took them with the same intensity as he had before.

She mirrored his intensity, and wrapped her hands around his body. He was so solid and warm, and he smelled so good – a delicious mix of good old-fashioned soap and basil. Who knew that odd combination could be so sexy?

This kiss was going somewhere – and fast.

His hands found their way under the wrinkly cotton of her skirt, playfully toying with the lace of her panties. “I like this,” he whispered in her ear. “Jeans are so much work. Skirts are much easier,” he said softly as he led her to the kitchen and hoisted her up on the counter, knocking down a bowl of leftover salad all over the kitchen floor. In other circumstances, her instincts would have told her to clean up the mess as soon as humanly possible – but her mind didn’t even go there.

He was rough… but she certainly had no complaints. His teeth dug into her flesh – in a very good way. His hands travelled to the back of her neck, and clawed at her skin. He was unstoppable. “Maybe if I take care of what’s bugging you right now,” he told her as he softly bit the outline of her jaw. “You’ll be able to eat my dinner.”

Take care…

Sophie was getting nervous again – this was all very sexy-as-hell and everything, but they couldn’t very well make love right there on the kitchen counter. Part of her wanted to be wild and crazy, but…

Against her body’s will, she reluctantly shifted away from him. “Uh… as much as I like this nice granite countertop,” she said, breathless, her hands pressed on the sleek cold hard surface. “I’d rather much prefer if you took me to your room.”

He smiled at her. “Me too,” he agreed, “let’s go.” He grabbed her hand and peeled her off the counter with a hard thump.

She panicked. “Wait,” she said, looking at her surroundings. “We can’t just leave this food. It’ll go bad.”

John smiled a clearly exasperated smile. “Are you kidding right now?” he asked half-laughing.

“No,” she said sternly. “Have you not ever heard of food borne illness? Trust me, you don’t want it.” She was pretty sure John wasn’t very familiar with that topic, and she wasn’t about to explain it to him.

She realized she was delaying the inevitable, and she wasn’t sure why. She had never wanted anything so much. But part of her was scared. This was John after all. He was special and their relationship was one of the most precious things in her life – they couldn’t mess it up.

She smiled at John’s patient expression.

“All right, we’ll put the meat away,” he said good-naturedly. “And then, I’ll take you upstairs. Deal?”

She smiled. “Deal.”

As she wrapped the bowl of sauce and meatballs with clear wrap, she could feel John’s warm breath on her neck, and then she felt his soft kiss on her shoulder.

She couldn’t bear another second.

She left the meatballs, turned around and grabbed his beautiful unshaven face in her hands and kissed him – and completely lost herself in him.

They managed to make it to John’s room without ripping each other’s clothes off, which was quite a feat since John had wanted to do just that. But he told himself he would take it slow, or at least
try
to.

He kissed her slowly, first on her lips, and then he lingered on her neck.

He had wanted to make love to her for what seemed like his entire existence – and it was finally happening.

He was going to take his time…

But Sophie was reacting to him rather strongly, and she wasn’t making it easy. She was almost pleading him – he could hear her accelerated breathing and feel her heightened pulse in every inch of her. But he liked that – he enjoyed teasing her.

Every little moan from her mouth drove him literally insane as he kissed every inch of exposed skin. When he took her hand and kissed the inside of her wrist, she smiled sweetly at him – it seemed she understood he wanted to take it slow.

They stood, looking at each other for a moment and he reached for the pearl buttons of her cherry covered top, and he undid them one by one, not rushing. She stood still, looking at him quietly – he could see desire pooling in her eyes. When he discovered the delicate laced pink bra, he leaned in and kissed the top of her breast softly. She smelled of vanilla and her skin was so soft – he could have just devoured her right there, but he stood his ground.

But Sophie, on the other hand, was officially done waiting – she leaned in and kissed his neck passionately, and her hands travelled to his stomach and she pulled at the fabric of his shirt, stroking his skin. Her touch was amazing and he wasn’t sure he could stick to his plan. She undid the top buttons of his shirt, not nearly as slowly as he had undone hers. And she tried to pull his shirt off, but he stopped her.

He had to.

“Hold on,” he said, breathless. “I’m trying to take it slow here, Snow. You’re making it pretty hard.”

“I don’t want to take it slow,” she said, her breathing ragged. He loved seeing the desire in her – burning hot.

He smiled, and wrapped his hands around her waist. “I want to do something,” he told her, quickly flipping her around. She didn’t say a word – he knew she trusted him. He stood close behind her and gently lifted her hair off her neck.

He could hear her breathe hard.

“Remember on your birthday,” he whispered, “when I put your necklace on you?” He asked, sliding the delicate silver chain between his fingers.

“Uh… huh,” she said softly, with a hint of uncertainty.

“I wanted to kiss you right here, on the back of your neck so badly,” he told her. “It was killing me.”

She laughed a little. “I wanted the same thing,” she confessed. “You have no idea, John.”

He kissed the back of her neck softly as he unzipped her skirt. “Oh, I think I have an idea.”

As her skirt fell to the ground, he caught a glimpse of her lacy pink panties, and he had to remind himself to slow down again.

He had her almost naked.

She moaned his name loudly.

But he was going to tease her further – he was being devilish and he knew it. But then again, she had come to expect that from him.

“Oh John,” she cried out as she turned to face him. She pulled off his shirt swiftly – wildly.

And he could feel himself losing all control.

She pulled his undershirt over his head, and kissed his chest softly. And then, she slowly made her way to his stomach, and drifted down, just above his belly button.

The small amount of control he was still holding on to – dissolved completely.

So much for taking it slow.

He grabbed her by the chin and pulled her up to him. He kissed her wildly – almost devouring her, and every inch of her responded to him.

He slid his fingers against her hips, tugging off her delicate lace underwear recklessly.

She fiddled hurriedly with his belt, not taking it off fast enough, kissing him still.

He helped her along – she was taking
way
too long.

As his lips lingered on hers, he pressed against her – her legs instinctively wrapped around him and he pressed her down onto his bed.

The sheer weight and size of him overpowered her – but she didn’t seem to mind.

“I’ve wanted this forever,” he breathed, his words soft.

And then, they
finally
made love.

Chapter 16

BURRIED in the crumpled sheets with Sophie in his arms, John was glad they had taken it slowly – it was as perfect as he had imagined it.

They had slowly discovered and explored each other’s bodies, delighting in every inch of skin, every scent and every sound.

He had never enjoyed a woman’s body quite as much as he had hers, and the most amazing part had been seeing, hearing and feeling her body react to his as he brought her to climax.

He couldn’t help but think that their bodies were made for each other. And a small part of him worried that now that he had tasted her, he couldn’t live without her – he would starve without her.

He traced the edges of her butterfly tattoo with his finger, as she stroked his stomach, just above the belly button. The sensation of her touch got him going again, and he knew he was ready to make love to her again, but at that moment, he just wanted to lie with her. He actually wanted to cuddle – she had certainly done a number on him.

“That was amazing, John,” she said, smiling up at him.

“You liked it?” he teased. “I could tell.”

She blushed a little and smiled a sheepish smile.

“Don’t be shy about it,” he insisted. “It was my favorite part – seeing you react to me that way – seeing you aroused – hearing you moan.”

She buried her face in his chest and he laughed at her.

“You were beautiful,” he assured her.

“You were so amazing,” she told him. “How did you get so good at that?” she asked, but was quick to add, “don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.”

He laughed. “Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever been that good, but I confess, I did have a secret weapon.”

“I know all about your secret weapon,” she teased with a sly smile.

He laughed. “You are naughty, Miss Sophie,” he whispered. “Well, I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s not what you might think,” he added, grinning from ear to ear.

“You are incorrigible,” she told him, giving him a huge smile. “What is it, then?”

“Love,” he said simply. “I love you.” He said the word again, just in case she hadn’t heard it properly the first time. He convinced himself he didn’t care if she repeated the words to him – he just wanted her to know.

She was silent for a moment and kissed him softly. “I love you too, John.”

He smiled. He was happy to hear it. He did need to hear it after all.

“I knew I loved you that night you took me to see the fireflies,” she confessed.

“That recently, uh?” he said, half-joking.

“Well, I’ve been in love with you for a long time, I suppose, but that was the day I finally realized it,” she explained. “When did you realize you were crazy about me?”

He hesitated and smiled at her. She probably wouldn’t believe him. Who would? It was insane.

But he would tell her anyway – he would finally admit he’d been crazy about her for almost a quarter-century. “Remember when we made those scrapbooks for your father after he passed?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said, looking up at him with sad eyes.

“That’s when I knew I loved you.”

She smiled. “That long ago?”

“I’ve loved you forever, it seems.”

She kissed him softly. “I was afraid of you at first,” she confessed. “I thought the memories you’d bring back for me would be too much to bear.”

He looked at her, his eyes soft and full of sympathy.

“But as it turns out, memories can be great, if you let them be,” she told him. “Ever since I’ve been back, I’ve discovered all these new memories of him, and they’re wonderful.”

He hugged her tightly. “He was a great man.”

Just then, John realized all their apprehensions and fears had been keeping them apart needlessly. How foolish they had been.

They belonged together.

Sophie and John spent the next two days together, enjoying each other’s company and catching up on a
lot
of love making. She made fancy omelets for breakfast, he took her to town for lunch, and she tried a recipe or two from her new cookbook for dinner.

It seemed all they did was eat and make love – and that was just perfect.

***

Gloria and Jesse returned Wednesday might, and seemed happy to be back. Jesse had clearly had a good time – he couldn’t stop talking about it.

“How was the bus ride back?” Sophie asked.

“It was fine. The three hour drive was definitely worth it,” Gloria told her daughter. “He loved it at Ian’s place.”

Sophie hugged her son tightly. She had missed him. “I’m glad.”

“How about you?” Gloria asked with a wink. “Did you enjoy yourself?”

Sophie smiled. The question brought her back to the past few days and she blushed a little.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’,” Gloria teased, hanging her purse on the new coat hanger Sophie had recently selected.

‘Yes’ was an understatement.

***

Sophie woke up in a daze, wishing she could be in John’s bed again. Her thoughts instantly went back to those few amazing days – touching him, kissing him. She couldn’t believe they had made love – not just once, but about six or seven times – she had lost count. It had all been so fabulous.

She longed for him in her bed right then. She stretched out her limbs under the sheets, enjoying the nice breeze blowing in through the window. She studied the flowery wallpaper, and the pictures hanging on her childhood bedroom walls, desperately trying to distract herself.

She thought it was funny how she had come to think of this place as her ‘home’ again. But it was. Her condo in the city now seemed so far away, and it certainly no longer seemed like ‘home’. She was at a crossroads in her life and she had never been so confused. This important decision she had to make brought on a nauseous feeling at the pit of her stomach, and she preferred not to focus on it – pretend it didn’t exist, just for the time being.

She found herself alone in the house, not really sure where Jesse and her mother were. And she found she minded the solitude.

As she sipped her coffee, leaning on the sleek new walnut countertop John had custom made, she looked around and was amazed at the transformation – John had truly brought her vision to life. The place was so tasteful and charming – she didn’t want to leave.

John and his crew were all done. And although she didn’t miss the mess and the constant sounds of drilling and banging, she missed John.

She hadn’t seen him in days. He had to catch up on his work since he had taken two days off to spend with her. And she had been to New York for an interview – it was this interview which weighed so heavily on her, in fact.

She missed him so much. She wondered if there was a little something around the house which still needed fixing – she could call him right then. He could take care of it, but not before he took care of her, she thought, with a wicked smile.

She thought about calling him for a few seconds, but ultimately decided against it – the man needed to work, and he would surely call when he had the time.

She sat at the kitchen table in her cozy plush bathrobe, and started the morning with toast and a bowl of cereal. She attempted the day’s crossword puzzle, trying to push those stressful thoughts away. But it was no use – she couldn’t concentrate on a single word.

She drew stars on the margin of the paper absent-mindedly. She drew more stars surrounding the existing stars, and she continued this pattern, until soon enough, she ran out of space on the paper.

She dropped her pencil when she heard a knock at the door. 

John stood on the front porch, combing his hand through his disheveled hair, his face serious – he seemed worked up. She wondered what was going on and found herself in a sudden state of alert.

“Come in,” she urged him, concerned.

He didn’t smile at her, as was usually his way. Something was definitely wrong.

“How was your trip?” he deadpanned.

“Uh… it was fine,” she told him as she made her way back to the kitchen table. She sensed he was upset with her.

He took a seat across her. “I ran into your mother in town,” he said. “We had a nice little chat. And she told me all about your job interview,” he added without expression.

So this was it. He was upset about the interview, about her moving back to New York. She wished she could tell him she wasn’t going to take the job, but she hadn’t quite made that decision yet.

“How did it go?” he asked, his voice flat, his eyes fixed on hers.

She turned her head – she couldn’t quite look at him.

She shot up and walked away in a feeble attempt to get away from the situation – from him. She didn’t want to face him right then – she didn’t quite know how to handle this.

He followed her up the stairs. She felt him not far behind her. He wasn’t going to let this go.

He nipped at her heels all the way to her room. As she turned reluctantly towards him, he closed the door behind them.

“I guess you can go now,” he said. “You got what you wanted,” he went on, his eyes as serious as she had ever seen them. She could see anger in them – she had never seen anger in his eyes.

“What do you…” she asked, not quite sure was he was saying.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes. “I am such an idiot,” he said softly.

She was surprised by the softness in his voice – even angry, his voice was gentle.

He inched towards her. “I knew I should have stayed away from you.” He traced his finger along the collar of her bathrobe, looking at her, all of her. “I warned myself but I wouldn’t listen.”

“John, it wasn’t like that,” she tried to explain. Making love with John had been one of the most wonderful moments of her life – it hadn’t been something cheap. She really wanted him to understand that, and she feverishly racked her brain for the best way to get her feelings across.

“I trust everything was satisfactory,” he said without a hint of humor. “I think I lived up to your expectations. You seemed to enjoy every second of it.”

Why was he being so crude? This wasn’t like him.

She swallowed hard. “You and I… was wonderful, special.” She hated the fact that her words sounded so superficial, so cliché – she couldn’t quite articulate her feelings the way she wanted to.

He slid his hand down to the sash of her robe and grabbed it tightly. His gaze studied hers. She could see his eyes so clearly. They were dark… somber. “But now you had your fun.”

She realized it wasn’t anger in his eyes – it was pain.  She had hurt him.

“You want another go?” he asked, his eyes fixed on hers. “Might as well get all you can get before you take off.”

She jerked away. “No,” she snapped. “Not when you’re like this. This isn’t like you.”

“Oh yes, I forgot,” he said. “I’m the nice guy you can walk all over,” he scoffed. “That’s the version of me you like, isn’t it?”

The hollow at the pit of her stomach grew more intense. The lump in her throat expanded and the tears formed in her eyes. She turned away from him – she didn’t want him to see her cry.

She sat on the bed and couldn’t hold back the tears, despite all her efforts. She fingered the ribbon detail on the crumpled quilted comforter, hoping he would not look at her.

He kneeled down and took her hand in his. “I’m sorry,” he said softy. “You’re right. This isn’t me.”

The tears kept flowing – she couldn’t stop them – they had minds of their own. She had never been so powerless over her emotions.

John cupped her face in his hands, and wiped away her tears. “I’m just so upset, Snow. You can’t imagine.”

She could imagine – she was as tormented as him. She had never felt so confused in her life. “Don’t you think I’m upset too?” she asked between sobs. She just wanted him to understand.

“I just love you so much,” he told her. “I’ve never loved another woman as much as you.”

She could still see the hurt in his eyes. “I love you too, John,” she told him, wrapping her arms around him, “so much. You know that, right?”

He held her tight. “I do.”

“Look at us,” he said. “We’re a real couple of sad saps… a real ‘Hallmark’ commercial going on here.”

She laughed and held him tighter.

She loved him.

There was no decision to make.