Backdraft (6 page)

“Chris is not a loser, not that I should have to defend him to you. Why would you even care?”

He leaned forward to whisper in her ear. “If I find out that you’re sleeping with some other guy after you went to so much trouble to get me into bed tonight, I’m warning you...”

She felt a wave of apprehension render her speechless. The guy she remembered was sweet and considerate, not hostile and domineering. Ten years was a long time. He had obviously changed a lot, and she wasn’t sure she was brave enough to uncover the man he had become. “Look,” she said, setting the clipboard down on the vacant chair beside her. “Maybe this was a bad idea. You said yourself you’d never be able to trust me again. I was hoping I could convince you to let go of the past, but it’s obvious that’s not going to happen. I think it’s time for us to accept that.”

He stared at her a long time before responding. “It’s that easy for you, isn’t it? You’ll just move on with your life and pretend that tonight never happened?”

She sighed. “I don’t know what you want from me. I’ve said I’m sorry about what happened with Craig that night, but you don’t seem willing or able to forgive me. Obviously, we can’t be friends, but I’m hoping we don’t have to live the rest of our lives as enemies.”

He hooked a finger in the direction of the front desk and asked, “Are you sleeping with that asshole?”

Dropping her head in her hands, she tried to find the patience to make him see reason. “Whether I am or not is irrelevant. You don’t want me, remember? You said the fact that we had sex tonight doesn’t change anything between us, so we just go back to life as it was before this happened. Isn’t that what you want?” She looked into his eyes, hoping to see some sign of hesitation. No matter how hurt or angry he was now, if there was even a hint of hope that they could work through their issues and find happiness on the other side, she was still willing to take the risk.

Glaring at Chris, he said, “Yeah, that’s what I want.” He looked at his battered hand. “Let’s fix this up; I want to get the hell out of here.”

Dave cursed himself for allowing petty jealousy to have this effect on him. Imagining her spending the weekend with some other guy was eating him up inside. “You heading home now?” he asked, knowing that even in a small town, predators lurked to take advantage of women who ventured out alone at this time of night.

“Yeah, I guess so. I was planning to spend the night in Brant, but obviously that didn’t work out.”

He stared at her, trying to memorize every feature of her gorgeous face. She looked back at him through the eyes of the girl he used to love, yet she wasn’t the same girl he remembered. She was older, more mature; hell, she was a doctor who dealt with human tragedy every day. That could break even the strongest person. He knew from personal experience; the things he’d seen had left him a shadow of his former self. Like the time they had to use the Jaws of Life to extract a newborn baby from a burning mini-van, but they’d been seconds too late to save her life and he’d had to face her grieving parents’ utter despair.

“You okay?” she asked, setting aside the tools she’d used to mend his wounds.

He knew this would probably be the last time their paths crossed, but he wasn’t ready to let her go just yet. “I was just wondering if you ever regret your decision to become a doctor.”

Smiling, she rested her hip against the exam table and crossed her arms. “Well, I get calls at all hours of the day and night, rarely have a day off, have probably been called every name in the book by patients in the throes of pain…”

He returned her smile, thinking that falling into the comfortable rapport they used to share was too easy. Some nights they wouldn’t sleep; instead they’d stay awake all night talking, either on the phone or spread out on a blanket in the cab of his truck watching the sunrise. She knew him better than anyone back then; maybe she still did. He’d never felt comfortable enough to confide in anyone like that before or since. “But?”

“But I wouldn’t trade my job for anything. I get to save lives. It doesn’t get much better than that.” She pushed off the bed, setting the tray on a nearby table. “We’re done here. You can hit the road now.”

Grabbing her wrist, he wished he could find the words to express what he felt. He had so much he needed to say, and time was slipping away. He wanted her to understand how much she’d hurt him back then. He wanted her to know that she still had his heart and probably always would. “Let me follow you home.”

Frowning, she said, “You don’t have to do that. I don’t live far from here.”

“Please,” he said. “I’d feel better knowing you were safe.”

Reaching up to stroke his beard-roughened cheek, she smiled. “You always were over-protective, Briar. Nice to see some things never change.”

If he’d done a better job of protecting what they’d had back then, maybe they’d still be together, living out the life they’d dreamed about as kids. He’d trusted her and Craig without reservation, and it still killed him to know they’d betrayed him. He couldn’t deny his feelings for her were as strong as ever, but he didn’t think he could ever learn to trust her again, and without that foundation, there could be no relationship.

“A lot of things have changed, Maya,” he said quietly. “Hell, who are we kidding? Everything has changed.”

She broke free of his grasp, turning her back on him. “I guess you’re right. We’re not the same naïve kids who believed that love was enough to conquer any problem, are we?”

He knew now that naivety came at a steep price, one he wasn’t willing to pay again. “No, I haven’t been that guy since I walked in on the woman I loved fucking my best friend.”

Her eyes darted to the partially open door. She rushed to close it then leaned her back against the wood panel, glaring at him. “I don’t think this is the time or place to talk about this, do you?”

He knew talking about it wouldn’t change anything, but the words had festered inside him for too long, like a tumor eroding his body. “You’re gonna listen to what I have to say, whether you like it or not.”

She closed her eyes and she tipped her head back. “Fine, but can we discuss this at my place? I’d rather my co-workers not be privy to my private conversations.”

“Isn’t it your
boyfriend
you’re really worried about?” Just spewing the world was painful; it tasted vile on his lips. That title was once reserved for him. He was hers, she was his, and the whole damn county knew it. Now to the casual observer, they were merely acquaintances. No one would ever guess they’d once meant everything to each other.

“I’m not going to argue with you here, no matter how much you bait me. I’ll give you a few minutes to settle up your bill. I need to get something from my office.”

He watched her walk out, wishing things weren’t so strained between them. He didn’t want to fight with her, but he couldn’t help himself. He finally had a target for the anger and frustration that had gnawed at him for the past ten years. He couldn’t suppress it even if he wanted.

Wandering down the hall to the admissions desk, he overheard her
boyfriend
treating a patient in one of the exam rooms. The good doctor was, without question, her type, certainly more than he ever was, and that irritated him to no end. In the back of his mind, he’d always wondered why someone as beautiful and smart as Maya would ever settle for him. He was a small-town guy with modest dreams while she was the girl voted most likely to succeed. And she had succeeded. She was a doctor, saving lives every day, enjoying the company of a man who was her equal in every way.

He propped his elbows on the tall counter and rested his face in his hand. He was tired, bone tired. He felt as though he’d aged ten years in the past few hours.

The nurse who was on duty earlier looked up at him with her fingers poised over her keyboard. “Did Dr. Monroe get you all fixed up?”

He tried to flex his bandaged hand, wincing. He would have trouble explaining the self-inflicted injury when he got home, especially to the chief. No doubt he would be forced to take a few days off while it healed. Good thing he had some vacation time coming up. He rarely took the time coming to him; being home alone in that big empty house always reminded him of how lonely he really was. He’d often thought about getting a dog, a Lab, but that was part of their plan, so he hadn’t. Buying the house was bad enough; getting the dog would only serve as a constant reminder of the future they’d planned.

“Yeah, she said I’m good to go.”

Janice smiled. “She’s the best. You’re in good hands with her.” She consulted the forms Maya had filled out for him earlier, typing the requisite information into her computer. “Have you two known each other a long time?”

Dave had lived with small-town busybodies long enough to know when one of them was on a fishing expedition, but he had nothing to hide, so he said, “Yeah, since we were kids.”

Hitting a button to print his invoice, she asked, “Were you ever an item?”

Despite the fact that Maya didn’t want her co-workers to know about her personal life, he saw it as an opportunity to let Dr. Chris know that he and his girlfriend shared a lifetime of history. He had no doubt the nurse was pumping him for information so she could fill the other man in at the earliest opportunity. “Yeah, we dated through most of high school, broke up during her first year of college.” He wouldn’t tell Janice the reason, even if she asked. Some wounds were too deep to share with anyone, especially a stranger.

Sighing, Janice passed him a pen and the sheet of paper she extracted from the printer. “That’s too bad. The doc needs someone like you in her life.”

He took his wallet out of his pocket with his good hand, withdrawing the cards he needed. Passing them across the counter, he said, “I thought she already had someone in her life.”

Glancing down the hall to the exam rooms, she said quietly, “I don’t think that’s going anywhere. As hard as Dr. Thompson tries, she just doesn’t seem that interested in him.”

Grinning, he scrawled his signature on the piece of paper. “Is that so?”

“So many of the single doctors around here have asked her out, but she won’t give them the time of day. I can’t figure it out for the life of me. She’s a young, beautiful woman. She needs to think about finding a nice young man and settling down, having a couple of babies of her own.”

The picture she painted conjured up too many painful memories. In his mind, he was always the man she chose to share her life. “What makes you think she wants that?”

“I see the way she is with the kids who come in here. That girl genuinely loves children. Seems like a shame for her not to have some of her own.”

He knew Maya had always adored children. She would baby-sit for all of the neighbors to earn spending money when they were young, and all of the kids loved her. “Maybe she will someday.”

“You okay?” the nurse asked, leaning forward. “Do I need to ask the doctor to prescribe something for the pain?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“You scared me there for a minute,” she said, laughing. “You grimaced and turned as white as a sheet. I thought you were in pain.”

His injuries were on the inside, and he knew that no amount of pain-killers could dull his agony. Seeing her again tonight had re-opened the gaping wound he tried to seal for years, and right now, it felt like he was hemorrhaging. Too bad the good doctor didn’t have a remedy for that kind of pain.

Chapter Five

As soon as he pulled into the driveway behind her, Maya cursed herself for bringing him. The house she purchased looked so much like the Wells street house from their childhood that he’d have to be blind not to see the similarities. He would probably walk away after tonight thinking she was a lonely, pathetic woman who hadn’t moved on with her life after a decade of being alone. Knowing him, he would feel sorry for her. Given a choice, she would rather he hate her. His pity would just feel like a slap in the face.

Stepping out of the truck, he stared up at the house. “I don’t believe it,” he whispered.

Feeling awkward and uncertain, she shrugged. “You know how much I loved that old house. If I’d stayed in Brant, I probably would have bought it.”

He shook his head, still staring up at the house. The timed lights that wrapped around the perimeter made it easy to see most of the details, even in the dark. “The owner would never have sold it, especially to you.”

Okay, that stung. She knew she wasn’t the hometown hero he was, but she hadn’t made any enemies. “Why not?”

He looked at her before slamming the door to his truck and crossing the distance between them. “Because I bought that house, and I wouldn’t sell it for anything.”

Why would he want to own such an important piece of their history? They used to walk or drive by that house every day on their way home from school. They’d talk about the family they would have there, the dinners they would host, the fires they would build in the big, old hearth. They had it all figured out. “Why would you do that?”

“I loved that place, too. I had the chance, so I bought it. Don’t read too much into it.”

She knew he was trying to minimize what it meant, but she still knew him too well to be fooled. “You’re lying.”