Backstreet Mom: A Mother's Tale of Backstreet Boy AJ McLean's Rise to Fame, Struggle With Addiction, and Ultimate Triumph (24 page)

The other groups that were signed up for the Smash Hits tour made
telephone calls to radio stations and record companies in an effort to
have the tour postponed once again, but by then it was too late. The
damage the boys had done to the other groups was irreversible in the
eyes of the fans.

By the time the Smash Hits tour began, our boys were the favorite
newcomers. Their single was climbing the charts with lightening speed.
The only question that remained was whether our group would receive
the "Best New Group" award that was presented at the end of each tour.

While the boys attended rehearsals for the awards show, l went shopping to purchase a new wardrobe for them. Rehearsals for the show
went well, but the groups that only lip-synced to pre-recorded music
did not bother to show up. Once the sound check was completed, the
boys piled into the bus for a quick dinner at the local McDonald's. That
night Alex was so excited that he could not sleep.

Since there were not enough tickets available for everyone in our
group to see the show live, we watched it on television at the hotel. The
shopping spree was worth it. The boys looked great in the sexy, black
suits I picked out for them, but that was not the way they originally
planned to take the stage. They meant to wear black trench coats over
their dress suits, but moments before they were scheduled to take the
stage, another group walked past them wearing the same coats. They
quickly discarded the coats. When they went out on stage, they looked
fantastic. To no one's surprise in our group, the Backstreet Boys were
given the award for "Best New Group of 1995."

Alex told me later that everyone came up to them and congratulated
them on their win. After the show, the boys came by the hotel to get me
and we all went to a local nightclub to celebrate. When we realized that
the nightclub that we had chosen was filled with transvestites in full
garb, we quickly called it a night.

OUR NEXT STOP WAS AMSTERDAM, Holland. Even though it was very cold,
we wanted to walk around the city our first night there so that we could
see the sights. That was difficult since the fans had been alerted and
were waiting for us at our hotel. Security told me that it was not unusual for record companies to leak information about promotional tours to
the radio stations, so that there would be a buzz about the group when
they arrived. I am sure that practice didn't hurt record sales either.

We made our way through Brussels, then joined back up with the
PJ and Duncan tour. Again, we found ourselves in the middle of a controversy. Out of the blue, the tour management told us that we
were no longer allowed to sell merchandise. I was so angry. Selling
merchandise was a good way to spread our name and to make a little
extra cash for fun stuff on the road. I found a way around that with the
help of some locals by cutting a deal with outside vendors to sell Backstreet merchandise outside each venue. Even bootleggers could work
those areas without fear of the police.

At around that time, we learned that the single was not climbing the
charts in England the way we had expected. Johnny felt that sales had
been hurt by Jive's decision to delay the record's release. The only thing
that we could figure was that the record company was reluctant to make
enemies of the other groups and decided to put our record on a slow
track. Of course, we could not prove that. We just had to live with it and
let it run its course. In the end, fan support prevailed and the boys came
out on top.

That experience did influence how we dealt with jive's office in England. We decided to make our own decisions about doing interviews
and making personal appearances. We scrutinized every request to make
sure that it would benefit the boys more than it would Jive. If it was not
a high-end magazine, television show or radio program that would help
record sales, we would not do it. Since the record company had relationships with writers from the lowest gossip sheets to the highest-end
global magazines, our decision did not make them happy.

Our relationship with Jive was strained to say the least. We constantly got the smallest and shabbiest dressing rooms. Poor Johnny was always fighting with someone about something. But the boys persevered.
They always did their best to wow the fans and win over the audience.

While on tour, we traveled to Zurich. I must say, there is only one
way to describe that beautiful city-expensive! When we arrived at the
hotel, we were starved. Since the boys had to change and start interviews almost immediately, there was no time to really sit down and eat
or order room service.

That meant Johnny and I had to find a quick way to feed them. The
hotel buffet was outrageously expensive, so we decided to make a McDonald's run, if we could find one. The saving grace of every city in the
world that we visited was the availability of our very own hometown
Mickey D's. Off we went, while the record company rep ran the interview session with the boys.

We hailed a taxi and tried desperately to explain to the driver what
we were looking for. Just our luck we found the only taxi driver in
Zurich who did not eat fast food. He called his dispatcher and was told, after several minutes of discussion, where the restaurant was located.
Finally we were on our way, or so we thought.

After a long ride in the country, which was breathtaking by the way,
we finally reached our destination. Once inside, we realized that this
had not been the best alternative plan, since the prices seemed to be the
same as at the hotel. A so-called "value" meal was almost $10. We had
no choice but to purchase the food and head back to the hotel in our
$70 taxi. When we reached the hotel, we discovered that Jive had already sent out for food. Johnny and I just looked at each other and
laughed. What else could we do?

On December 24 we arrived in Dusseldorf, Germany, at the estate
of Mr. Wullenkemper, an old friend of Lou's, who had helped Lou
start up his airship business in the United States. Of the several businesses he ran, the airship company was the largest of its kind in Europe. Mr. Wullenkemper had known Lou since he was very young.
After Lou's father passed away, he became the father figure in Lou's
life. Mr. Wullenkemper taught him about the business and helped him
build up financing over the years. He taught us a lot about the European mindset.

One thing we learned was how Europeans have very open minds when
it comes to things we Americans have hang-ups about. For example,
European magazines actually encourage healthy sexual behavior among
teens. From what I learned through conversations with parents, the
thinking was that if sex was not kept from children like a big taboo they
wouldn't be so inclined to experiment as much. It is not necessarily our
way of thinking, but, hey, whatever works.

Mr. Wullenkemper was a superb host who made us all feel very much
at home. We were put up in a local hotel that was actually a castle. It
was very cool and Alex went exploring right away. After we dressed for
dinner, we returned to find a table of goodies waiting for us at Mr. Wul-
lenkemper's house. He had chocolate Santas and cookies everywhere.
There were even presents for us.

Mr. Wullenkemper was destined to become a very positive influence
on the boys' career. He was the person who ultimately introduced them
to the most influential promoter in Germany, a man who pushed the
boys' visibility to its highest level. That trip proved the old adage: "It's
not what you know, but who you know that counts."

As the tour progressed, I began to see both positive and negative
effects on the boys. Their stage performance improved, and they built a
large fan base in England and Germany-both major markets. But on
the negative side, conflicts began to arise within the group. At the time, I felt that they were headed on a course to self-destruction unless someone talked some sense into them.

Alex turns on the charm in Germany

The root of the problem, besides the obvious age differences, was
that some of the boys had gained just enough knowledge about the
business to be dangerous to the rest. Insecurity played a big factor in
that. Lou helped them to achieve some of their goals, but he was also a
negative influence. He lived a life full of excess and he taught the boys
to become comfortable in that lifestyle.

The impact on Alex was a hard thing for me to deal with. My son
deserves all he has and he has worked very hard to get it, but I tried
whenever I got the chance to keep him grounded as best as I could. That
is very difficult when you have someone pulling your only child into a
world of fantasy that every teenager dreams of.

Big Poppa spoiled the boys like a rich uncle who comes to visit and
then leaves the parent to cope with the damage. It is not really fair. But
what could I do? You should never squash your children's dreams, no
matter how fantastic they seem to you.

Journal Entry, December 5, 1996: Nick has really changed in my opinion
over the past years. Unfortunately not always for the better. He started out
only 12 years old as opposed to Kevin who was 21. The age difference between the two along with some family pressures and trouble with management has really taken a toll on this child. He is going through his `spoiled
stage' as I call it.

Howie (aka Sweet D.) is definitely the most timid of the group. He pretty
much goes with the flow of any situation. He hates conflict and has said that
time and time again. He maintains he is a lover not a fighter I also see him
as the most level-headed of the fellas. He trusts his family's judgment and
really listens to them when they give him advice. I believe that Howie has
grown up to be a pretty stable young man and hopefully he will hold on to
his lovable style.

Kevin-the father figure of the group. But I feel that this role has only
been cast upon him due to his age. I don't think that deep inside he wants the
responsibility to fall on his shoulders. He is really quite fragile and I hope he
can withstand the long-term success of this group. Kevin also tries to learn
about the business as much as he can. That is smart.

AJ-he is the hardest for me to write about since he is my only child and
I want to be objective in my words. When he says things to me like "I can't
standyou! " and lies to my face it hurts me deeply. And what makes it worse
is that I know in my heart that some of the things coming out of his mouth
are thoughts put into his head by other people who want to control him and separate us. Every time I try to give him some advice he chooses to believe
other people above me. I guess he will learn eventually that his family members are really the only ones he can trust forever. Everyone else just comes
and goes.