BAD BOY ROMANCE: DIESEL: Contemporary Bad Boy Biker MC Romance (Box Set) (New Adult Sports Romance Short Stories Boxset) (131 page)

“Okay, so my actions show who I am, do they? John nearly died because of me. Is that action enough to prove that I can’t do it?”

She was angry now, and her anger fed my own. I could feel it build in the air again, a storm much stronger than had been at John’s house.

“You have to make up your mind and stick to it,” I said, trying to get myself back under control, trying to force my voice back to sounding normal, human. “You can’t just step into our world and then back out again and think that nothing’s going to change.”

“So I should rather have the death of some of your wolves on my hands, is that it?  I can’t do it, Reid! I’ve tried. Dammit, I tried it for you. But I nearly got someone killed. And now you’re mad at me for trying to do the right thing? Where were you when all this happened?”

She had me there, because it was true. I hadn’t been there. Some of my anger drained away, and it took some of her fear with it.

“I just can’t keep pretending that I’m strong enough to lead a pack of wolves. Until now I’ve barely been strong enough just to make our relationship work. No you want me to help you rule seven wolves? And they’re not wolves, Reid. They’re monsters. Harry nearly killed John, who was just trying to save me. If it hadn’t been John it would have been me. And I die easy, Reid. I can’t let this lead down that road.”

By the tie she was finished talking she was crying, and the anger I felt radiating from her had been replaced by sorrow. She was scared she’d disappointed me. I could feel the pain that brought her. I sighed and closed my eyes, turning my concentration inward until I could find my wolf. I had to get him to calm down, so that I could go to my wife without her fearing me.

When I opened my eyes again the room was light and she’d stopped crying. I walked over to her, and she looked into my eyes. And she saw me, I could see in her face.

“You’ll get the hang of it,” I said. She shook her head before I could even carry on talking.

“I’m just a human, Reid. I can’t hold all this power, or smell emotion, or channel rage. I can’t do any of that.”

The anger was returning.

“Why won’t you try?”

“Because my trying nearly got someone killed,” she said.

The rage flared up again and I could feel the monster inside of me rear its ugly head.

“Well, if they died for their stupidity it would be punishment enough,” I said. I was numb of emotion, and I knew my face looked as  blank as I felt.

“Yeah, well that’s the other thing,” she said, and her face was carefully expressionless too. “I don’t believe in all this pain and punishment that seems to come with being pack leader. I don’t want to do it. I won’t hurt them on purpose just so that they can fear me the way you do.”

I was furious. I opened my mouth to say something hurtful back, but then the wolf pushed against my skin and I had to get out of there if I wanted to regain control at all.

“Don’t let me down, Allegra. I don’t want to find someone else to fill your shoes.”

“Well, we’re going to have to come to some sort of agreement, because those shoes are a bit big for me.”

The anger flared up and I turned and walked out of the room, leaving her behind with her damned backward logic and her powerful opinions that always seemed to come too late. She could be brilliant if she wanted to. She could be amazing if she channeled that energy, that assurance of what she believed in. But she was too scared, and I didn’t have time for this.

Chapter 5

Allegra

When full moon creeps closer the magic builds and the werewolves’ animals all come closer and closer to the surface. The last couple of days no one does anything that could set them off. And with good reason – an out of control wolf is a terrible thing. I knew that better than ever after the incident with John and Harry while Reid was away.

Full moon in itself never scared me before. I knew what happened, but Reid made sure he was out of the house the few times it happened when he was home, so his wolf wouldn’t do something irrational while I was around to witness it, and the rest wasn’t my problem.

All that had changed. It was very much my problem now. And they were all still on their leave, which meant that the full moon was going to be wild this time. And Reid wanted me there.

“How can you be my mate, the pack’s second, if you don’t understand what it’s about?”

“I don’t know if I can do this,” I answered. I was terrified and I just didn’t want to go.

“You’ll be fine. I’ll protect you.”

His words were supposed to reassure me, but they didn’t. I wasn’t scared about what would happen to me, I knew the wolves would leave me alone because they feared Reid. I was scared of what I would feel. The magic I’d been feeling the last couple of days had been creeping over my skin like insects.

We set out just after dark. The moon hung in the sky like a silver disk. Reid closed his eyes and turned his face to the moon, and it was like he was listening to music only he could hear. His face was peaceful, and for a moment it looked like he left this world and went somewhere else.

When I opened his eyes again he sighed the way a lover does, and he smiled at me. He held out his hand and I took it before he led me into the trees.

It was dark between the trees, the trunks like dark sentries all around us and the canopy of leaves overhead so dense that no moonlight could get through, not even in dapples. I walked behind Reid, my hand still in his, stepping where he was stepping.

The forest was alive around us in a way I’d never experienced it before. It whispered in the dark, with a life of its own and I could feel its presence all around me. Fog had crept in and swirled around us, like the forest was breathing. Reid moved through the forest like we were walking through a field. He never stumbled or paused and nothing caught on his clothes. It was like the forest moved around him. Accommodated him. Swallowed him.

I followed him so closely that it happened to me too, mostly. Only a few twigs snagged on my jacket, and my feet didn’t catch on roots. I stumbled twice the entire time, but Reid’s arm was there, thick and strong and ready to save me.

Suddenly we broke out into a clearing. The trees ended abruptly and the clearing was almost a complete circle. The moon hung in the sky above the clearing like a light. Reid let go of my hand and stepped into the clearing. I followed. The moment when my feet touched the ground inside the circle, power trickled through me.

Reid turned to me and his eyes were bright, blue-purple, the color of a blowtorch.

“This is our place of power,” he breathed and his voice sent goosebumps marching up my arms. “They’re here.”

One by one the pack members appeared from the trees. They were all dressed in old clothes, a lot like Reid’s – clothes they wouldn’t mind changing in, clothes that could rip and it wouldn’t matter. I recognized them all because I’d met them. But there was something different about them now.

They looked fierce and animalistic, like wild versions of themselves. All their eyes had changed to the colors I guessed they would be when they were wolves.

Of all the wolves that stood around us, Sarelle was the most terrifying. Her eyes had gone a solid black, with no whites around the irises, and they looked like marbles – deep and somehow soulless.

The power shuddered as they all stepped into the circle, and it built until it was so thick I struggled to breathe. Reid turned to them, and the bowed their heads, acknowledging the alpha. He held his hand out to me so I would join him. I walked to him like I was walking on broken glass. The magic felt like pinpricks that traveled up my legs and I wasn’t sure why it was so intense.

When I joined Reid, all of the members kept their heads down, except Sarelle. She lifted her head and looked at me in the eye. Those black eyes stared into my soul, and I felt myself falling into them, like I could keep going forever. My skin felt like it wanted to crawl off my body, and I shuddered.

I glanced up at Reid, and he was glaring at Sarelle. He had his lips pulled back in a snarl that was more animal than human, and shouldn’t have fit on a human face, but somehow it worked on his. He looked terrifying.

The other woman – Maria – was the first to change. She dropped to the floor and groaned. Her body moved in ways that a person’s body isn’t supposed to move. I could see the bones move under her skin, her body rebuilding itself in front of me. I heard her clothes rip, and her body rose out of the shredded fabric. Fur curled over her arms and legs from her back, and for a moment she wasn’t human or wolf, but some monster in between. And then the change was done and she was a wolf – golden with black feet and tail, and violet eyes that just didn’t look natural.

A howl ripped out of her throat, and she threw her head back and let it.

It was enough for the others. All around me wolves started changing. The sound of ripping fabric, howls and growls and groans filled the air, until animals milled around us. One by one, after the change, they came to Reid and squirmed at his feet, licking his hands, or rubbing their heads against his pants. If I ignored the fact that they could rip heads off, they were life pets.

Sarelle hadn’t changed yet. Her strength was better than that, apparently. I wondered why she was so strong but not so high in the pack. She was number five.

Reid looked at her and they locked stares. Three counts, and she looked down. But then she looked at me, and she kept staring, past three counts, four, five.

It was Reid’s growl that tore her attention away from me. And then she dropped and changed too. The wolves were milling around. I felt Reid’s power like a wave, flooding over the circle, and the wolves’ coats rippled with it. He had them under complete control. And he was still in human form.

It all seemed surreal. I was growing desensitized to the magic around me. If I focused on it I felt it, but it was there all the time, and there was so much of it, I couldn’t swallow it all. I had to start pushing it away.

Reid turned to me and all his attention was on me. His eyes were intense, but it was still him in there. Yes, he was sharing with his beast, but he was fully in control.

“Sarelle is looking for trouble,” he said. I glanced at her wolf. She was dancing on the spot, like she had to keep moving. Like a shark. I would have giggled at the analogy if she didn’t look so damn deadly.

“What is she doing?” I asked.

“She’s rejecting your dominance, and she’s challenging you.”

“I don’t know what to do,” I said. Reid shook his head and glanced around at the other wolves.

“Nothing tonight. I have to take them out to hunt so that they can feed. They need fresh blood if they want to contain this kind of energy.”

I don’t know what was on my face, but I was horrified and Reid’s face changed and closed off.

“It’s just animals, Allegra. We never harm humans. But it’s part of who we are.”

I nodded, feeling stupid that I had a reaction at all. Feeling like I wanted to cry. Feeling like I was in way over my head.

“Go home. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Alone?” I asked, looking over my shoulder in the direction of the house. The forest was very dark and quiet, and the magic around me made me edgy.

“You’ll be safe,” he said. “I love you.”

He kissed me, and then he rubbed his cheek against mine, pushing his nose into my hair, and the gesture was very animalistic. Then he stepped back and started changing. The energy around me picked up, and the wolves starting milling around again. They looked eager to get going.

When Reid was a wolf he looked up at me with those shocking eyes and wagged his tail like a dog. Then he turned, threw his head back, and howled. The others joined in until it was a loud mass of noise. The magic pulsated around me, swelling and subsiding like waves.

Reid ran into the trees, and the pack followed, and like a plug had been pulled, the magic in the circle drained until it was just me left in the cold, dark forest. I wrapped my arms around myself, and set off into the trees, heading back to the house.

And all I could think was that there was no way I would ever be able to have that kind of authority and control. I was way in over my head.

Chapter 6

I sat on the bed with the lights off. The darkness swallowed me, and I felt untethered, like I didn’t have anything that held me down and grounded me.

I kept straining my ears for something, anything. Every now and then I thought I heard a wolf call, or the yipping sounds the pack had made, or low throaty growls. But I knew that it was only my imagination. They were too far away for me to hear – I’d never heard them before.

It was after midnight, and the world should have been asleep. People. In their beds. Not werewolves running wild, hunting. Challenges, answering to the call of the moon and all these little signs of submission. Life was supposed to be simple. How had it gotten away from me?

I picked up my phone and dialed Charlene’s number. She’s always been my friend. She was married to John, but she wasn’t a part of the pack. Her life had always been the same as mine, and she was someone I’d always been able to turn to.

She answered on the last ring before it rolled over to voicemail, and her voice was thick with sleep.