Baggage & Buttons
Authors: C. J. Fallowfield
Baggage & Buttons
By C. J.
Fallowfield
Kindle Edition
Copyright © 2014
C. J. Fallowfield
All Rights
Reserved Worldwide
Any unauthorized
reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be
reproduced or transmitted in any form, or by any means, electronic or
mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage
and retrieval system without express written permission from the author.
This book is a
work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations and places or
events, are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used
fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or
locales is entirely coincidental.
Image Copyright ©
2014
Cover Art by
Kellie Dennis at Book Cover by Design
www.bookcoverbydesign.co.uk
Foreword
Thank you so much for buying Baggage & Buttons, the
eagerly awaited follow up to New Leaves, No Strings, book one of The Austin
Series.
The series is designed to be read in sequence.
Gabe Austin, what are you doing to me, I thought as I
lay in my best friend Lexi’s bed, trying desperately not to cry again. My mind was
still trying to process the fight I’d just had with him. He’d somehow found
Lexi’s positive pregnancy test and had assumed it was mine, thinking that I’d
lied to him about being a virgin and that my ex, Kai, had got me pregnant. Gabe
had acted totally irrationally and had said some pretty hurtful things before
Lexi had intervened and confessed she was the pregnant one, not me.
He’d been so upset and remorseful after, but he’d put
me on the spot by begging for my immediate forgiveness when I was still angry.
I hadn’t been sure I wanted to be with someone who could distrust me and wound
me so deeply. I’d needed time to calm down, to think and I’d panicked and shut
him out, retreating to the sanctity of Lexi’s bedroom, where I knew he wouldn’t
follow, to be comforted by my best friend. I’d sobbed in her lap and she’d
eventually made me get into her bed and had cuddled up behind me as I tried to
sleep, but it evaded me.
I lay there thinking about the last week and a half
since I’d started seeing Gabe. It had been amazing, he was so damn gorgeous and
our sex life was just
insane.
With the exception of this fight, I also really
enjoyed being around him, just spending time with him and I even missed him
when we were apart, not that this was often, given we couldn’t keep our hands
off each other. All of this was in total contrast to any of the relationships I’d
ever been in before. I’d been physically distant and emotionally and sexually unavailable,
determined to protect my heart, until I set eyes on Gabe and he’d immediately worn
down some of my defences. It was like my mind and body had this uncontrollable
attraction to him, my body especially. Just thinking about him could make my
core quiver, my nipples stiffen and my clit throb.
I’d also not run when Gabe declared that he loved me, which
was unprecedented. In the past, the minute any guy said those three little words
to me I was off, like a Serengeti gazelle with a pride of lions hot on her
heels, my only thought to protect myself from any heartache. I still found it really
hard to accept that any man could love me, given my own dad didn’t, having
walked out before I was born. Then there was my first boyfriend Alex … well …
I’d adored him and he’d dumped me unceremoniously for refusing to have sex with
him. The two of them had pretty much screwed with my head
and
my heart,
leaving me trusting no men who followed.
There was something about Gabe though, something that
I just couldn’t put my finger on. It was instant attraction, there again why
wouldn’t it be? Surely no woman could be immune to his raw maleness. He was the
personification of sex on legs and had the equipment to back up the title, he
was
seriously
stacked. If there was a penis Olympics, Gabe would be
awarded a medal position, he’d definitely be up on that podium. It wasn’t just his
big penis though, or the fact that he knew exactly what he was doing with it,
along with his fingers and tongue, nor was it his breath taking good looks, or
muscular ripped swimmers body, that would make even a nun salivate. He was also
charming, chivalrous, attentive, protective and funny, a seemingly irresistible
package to woman kind, well definitely to me anyway, but more than anything he
made me feel cherished.
Setting aside all of this however, something told me
he was genuine, that he saw the real me, saw the damaged soul inside and yet he
still really cared for me, or even loved me as he kept declaring numerous times
a day. The fact that he hadn’t placed any pressure on me to make me feel the
same way about him, or to have me say those words back to him, made it so much
easier for me to hear and start learning to accept.
I lay there, with Lexi’s arm over me hugging me
tightly and kept replaying the fight with Gabe in my mind, over and over again.
Even though I was still furious at his actions, in some bizarre way they actually
proved to me that he really
did
care. Why else make a six odd hour drive
to find out the truth? To confront Kai and punch him for being disrespectful about
me? Gabe could’ve just taken the easy option and walked away from me, shut me
out to protect his own damaged heart, but he hadn’t. I recalled some of the
words he’d said in anger and it was like a knife to my stomach, but when I
thought about ending it and never seeing him again,
that
pain was even
worse. I’d been so hurt that I’d said some pretty horrible things as well, just
to inflict some pain on him, to hurt him the way he’d hurt me. I shed some more
tears of frustration and when I could cry no more, I wiped my eyes dry on my
sleeve and sat up rubbing my face.
‘Ok Mia, spill,’ demanded Lexi, making me jump.
‘Shit Lex, you scared me. I didn’t realise you were
still awake.’
‘Of course I’m awake, you think I’d go to sleep
without knowing you’re ok?’
‘O god Lex I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin your
night as well.’
‘I’m fine, I can sleep anytime. Talk to me, what
happened?’ she asked as I lay down and faced her. I sighed and filled her in on
as much as I could remember, with many interruptions and hisses through the
teeth on her part as I recanted our verbal eviscerations of each other. ‘No
wonder you were both yelling at each other, I thought one of you was going to
commit murder that’s why I stormed in.’
‘Lex his face as I closed the door on him … it was
just awful.’ I covered my eyes with my hands and shook my head. ‘How could I
do
that to him, after what he must have gone through today?’
‘Well he put you through a lot today as well Mia, you
were hurt and angry so you retaliated. He should’ve come to you first.’
‘I know that,’ I sighed. ‘I really think he knows that
now too. He wanted to take his anger out on someone else before confronting me,
I get that, even if I don’t like it.’
‘Can you get past this?’
‘Lex, you may not understand this, but I sort of
already have. He seems to genuinely accept what he did was wrong. He just
needed time to process what must’ve been a hell of a shock. Imagine if one of
his ex’s came up and told me she was pregnant, I’d have hit the roof. We were both
angry and tried to lash out at each other that’s all. In some sick twisted way,
now I’ve taken the time to think about it, I actually feel more secure about
us, if that makes sense?’
‘Not sure I’m following you on that thought process,’
frowned Lexi.
‘Well now I know how much he cares about me, to what
lengths he’ll go to protect our relationship. I’m just not happy the way he
went about it, that’s all.’
‘Ok, yeah I can understand that,’ she nodded. ‘You’ve
got to be clear with him though that this
never
happens again Mia, that
he talks to you, doesn’t shut you out again or go and get all Terminator on
people’s asses.’
‘I
have
been clear Lexi and I will be again
when I next see him. He was so devastated, I think he was more distraught at
having doubted me, than the actual thought that I was pregnant. Hhe even said
he’d have stayed if I had been.’
‘I’m sorry I yelled at him. I was just so mad that
he’d left you hanging all day with no contact and I’m kind of extra cranky at
the moment, I think it’s these bloody pregnancy hormones.’
‘You were
seriously
cranky Lex, you went all
Terminatress on his ass,’ I smiled. ‘The way you stood up to him for me was
amazing and telling him your news to convince him …’ I shook my head,
unbelievably grateful to have a friend like Lexi in my life. ‘I’m just so sorry
that you were put in the position where you had to tell someone else, I know
you wanted to keep it quiet.’
‘Well you could’ve just told him straight away that it
was me that was pregnant to save yourself all the agro and you didn’t. How the
bloody hell did he find the stick though? I shoved it in the pedal bin.’
‘Hmmm, that’s the one thing I’m still really unhappy
about. If he was rummaging through it, spying on me, it’ll be Kill Gabe Volume I.’
‘You’d look so good kicking his arse in yellow
leathers with a samurai sword,’ she winked.
‘Thanks, I’d like to think I would. God I loved those
films, maybe we could do a Kill Bill marathon this Tuesday? Watching a bit of stylised
violence may get some of this aggression out of me. You’d look better in those
leathers though, you’re more Uma than me.’
‘I’d look
so
good in them, though I’d prefer
black leathers with yellow stripes. I ought to contact her and offer to be her
body double you know. I mean how many six foot actresses are out there eh? You’ve
wet my appetite now. “When do you want to die? Tomorrow? The day after
tomorrow?” you so need to use that line on Gabe.’
‘“How about tonight bitch”’ I giggled, thinking we
spent way too much time watching movies and learning quotes. My mum had a lot
to answer for, it was her fault we were movie buffs. She was a Film and Media
studies teacher at the local college back home, as well as doing private elocution
lessons, so Lexi and I had pretty much grown up watching everything with her,
both the new and the classics leaving us with eclectic tastes.
‘O we’re so on,’ grinned Lexi. ‘Kill Bill movie night
it is. Anyway, how have you left things Gabe?’
‘You mean other than me walking away from him when he
needed me? I don’t know,’ I sighed, feeling an aching pit in my stomach. ‘I
still
want him, even
with
all this bloody drama. I’ve never wanted
anyone
like this Lex, it’s like he’s done something to me that I can’t explain. I
think about him when I’m not with him, that’s new, I hurt when he hurts, I
really enjoy his company and the sex is just …’ I blew out a deep breath, the
thought of it alone had me in a spin. ‘I guess we’ll have to talk it out, he’ll
call first or I’ll call first and we’ll end up having sex again to reconnect,
as we that’s when we seem to be at our most compatible, when we’re in bed.’
‘Or up on the roof terrace, up against the wall, in
the bath, the park or anywhere else you’ve done it, slut,’ ribbed Lexi, making
me laugh properly for the first time in hours.
‘Don’t remind me, I’m missing it already and it’s only
been about 16 hours. I think he’s injected me with some kind of addictive
sexual toxin.’
‘I’d think anyone would be addicted after an injection
with
that
cock,’ she winked. ‘You know I’d take it as a compliment that
he thought you were experienced.’
‘Really? You think?’ I asked, surprised. That had been
the most hurtful thing that he’d thrown at me, to say he thought I’d lied about
my inexperience, that I’d had sex before. I mean I’d bled on him for god’s sake,
but there again I was small and he was …
not.
He’d probably just thought
he’d hurt me by being too rough. Anyway, I’d read his comments as him saying I
was a slut.
‘Hell yeah, you must have some
serious
skills
in the sack. I mean if he’s been with a few hundred women and says it’s that amazing
with you, he obviously knows what he’s talking about with his history. He knows
what he wants sexually and you’re doing it for him. If it’s that sensational be
happy and keep enjoying it. I’m so bloody jealous,’ she sighed. I smiled at her
quickly.
‘Maybe, but
how
am I satisfying him Lex? I
don’t understand why he says it’s better with me than them. I’m so
inexperienced.’
‘It’s from watching porn. You’re like emulating Jenna
Jameson.’
‘I’ve only seen a couple of movies as I was curious,
don’t make out like I’m a porn addict,’ I giggled. It felt really good to be
laughing again, instead of bloody crying. Since becoming a teen, other than
when Alex dumped me four years ago, or whenever I watched The Notebook, I rarely
cried. Since meeting Gabe all I seemed to do was cry. It was like he’d turned
on my emotion tap and thrown away the handle so I couldn’t turn it off again.
‘Some people are just more compatible Mia, plus you’ve
been as adventurous and uninhibited as you could to make up for your lack of
experience, it’s all obviously helping. Add in the fact that he loves you, well
he just wasn’t that connected to the other girls he slept with, that’s got to
make it more intense.’
‘You think?’
‘Hey I’ve never been in love, what the hell do I know,’
she shrugged. ‘But why else stay with someone long term? There has to be some
bonus to having to wash a guy’s skid marked underpants hasn’t there?’
‘O gross Lexi,’ I laughed.
‘Well I guess the more you have sex, the better you
know what each other likes, so it has to get better.’
‘Maybe,’ I nodded. ‘God knows how much better it can
get, because he blows my mind now.’ I shook my head as I remembered our last
session, bent over the kitchen table and felt my stomach flutter and everything
south of my naval contract, even my toes.
‘Damn him. I really wanted to hate him Mia, he was so
out of order today, or yesterday, or whenever it was, but he obviously loves
you to go to those lengths and if sex is really that good and you love him
back, then you have to work this out.’
‘Love him?’ I choked. ‘Who the hell said anything
about love?’
‘Come on Mia, you’re telling me you don’t? You’ve
never been this into
anyone
and you’d certainly never had put up with
all this shit with any other guy you’ve dated.’