Baggage & Buttons (44 page)

‘Both.’

‘I don’t know if I should. He’s competing, if I upset
him it could mess him up and he may not perform well. He’s so competitive he’d
be furious if he ended up losing because I made him worry.’

‘If you don’t contact him he’s going to be worrying
anyway. Put him out of his misery and let him know what’s going on.’

‘Lex what if it’s all too much for him? We’ve been
dating for two weeks and it’s a lot to lay on someone. It could be too much for
him to handle and he could finish with me.’ I heard the shake in my own voice.

‘God Mia, when will you get it into your thick skull
that he loves you,’ she sighed, flicking my forehead with her finger. ‘He’s not
going to run for the hills because you’re having some health problems. I know
it’s an awful condition to have and I’m not belittling it, or trying to make
out that you shouldn’t be concerned, but you’ve not just been diagnosed with a
terminal disease have you? Now
that
may be too much for someone to deal
with two weeks in. Give Gabe the benefit of the doubt, he’ll stay with you, I
know it. I mean he was going to stay with you when he thought you were pregnant
with Kai’s kid for god’s sake.’

Lexi was right, he’d done nothing but show me and tell
me how much I meant to him, it was my issue that I still had that nagging doubt
it was all too good to be true, that I didn’t deserve to be so happy, or to be loved
by someone like Gabe. I also knew that he’d be furious if he found out that
this had all gone down and I’d hidden it from him.

‘I’ll ring him when we get back,’ I sighed.

We got home at twenty past eleven and Lexi got me a
beer from the fridge.

‘I’ll be in the lounge if you need me. Good luck.’

‘Thanks Lex.’

I took a swig, removed my jacket and boots and sat up
on the bed and looked at my phone and saw I had a message from him already.

Ok it’s getting late and I haven’t heard from you yet.
Is everything ok? I’m already at the pool in the changing rooms, so it’s not too
late to call me. Let me know you’re ok please Mia <3 xx

I sighed, I needed to just get it over with, so I facetimed
him.

‘Hi baby, Doug and a whole load of other guys from the
swim teams are in here with me, so don’t say anything inappropriate again,’ he
grinned. ‘How did you get on?’

It was so good to see his gorgeous smiling face, I
hadn’t realised until I saw him how much I was missing him. I bit my lip as I
looked at him and felt my eyes stinging, shit I really didn’t want to cry, not
now, please not now. I looked up at the ceiling and fluttered my eyelids to try
and stop myself, before looking back down at him and managing a half smile.

‘Mia what’s wrong? You look really upset.’

‘I’m fine, I’m just missing you Gabe.’

‘I miss you too baby, but I can tell something’s wrong.
You promised not to lie to me, talk to me, what did they say?’

‘I need an operation to look inside me and they’ve
booked me in for Tuesday.’

‘Shit Mia,’ he sighed. ‘I knew something was wrong. What
is it?’

‘They need to remove cysts from my ovaries and see why
they aren’t where they should be in my body. They think I also have a disease
called endometriosis.’

‘O my god is it … is it a form of
cancer
?’ he
asked, his face paling.

‘No, god no, I’m sorry Gabe, I should’ve made that
clear. It’s nothing terminal, but it’s pretty much incurable if I have it.’

‘What are the symptoms?’

‘It causes pain, tiredness and possible infertility as
well. At least I know now what was giving me all those pains,’ I said, trying
to smile to reassure him. He looked so worried, I knew I shouldn’t have run
him.

‘Baby I should be there with you,’ he sighed, running
his hand through his hair. ‘I’m going to come back now. I’ll get a taxi and can
be home this afternoon.’

‘Gabe don’t be so silly. That would cost a fortune and
you’re about to compete. I’m fine, just a bit shocked that’s all, I wasn’t
expecting an operation.’ I gave him another half-heartedly attempt at a smile
and we just sat looking at each other for a minute and I could see he was still
torn. ‘Gabe I’m fine honestly. We can talk about it tomorrow when you come home
ok?’

‘You’re not alone are you?’

‘No Lexi’s looking after me. She’s in the lounge,
honestly I’m fine now, I already feel better for having seen you.’

‘So what happens after the op?’ he sighed as he rubbed
his face.

‘It’s a minimum one night stay and then at least a
week off normal things. We’ll know more once she’s seen how messed up I am
inside.’

‘Baby I
hate
this, I should be there with you,’
he groaned.

‘Gabe we need to talk about the cost. I really
appreciate your offer, but I can’t accept it.’

‘Mia we already discussed this and I offered to pay.’

‘I know, but that was when you thought it was just a
consultation. Now it’s the scan and the op it’s seriously expensive, so I’ll
take out a loan.’

‘I don’t care Mia, I’m paying.’

‘Gabe please don’t be ridiculous and all domineering
about this,’ I said firmly. ‘You offered when you thought it would be a couple
of hundred pounds, it’s going to be a lot more.’

‘It doesn’t matter Mia,’ he said equally firmly,
giving me a steely look.

‘Gabe seriously, I can’t let you pay. It’s £4K and
that’s if everything goes to plan.’

‘I don’t care if it’s bloody £40K Mia, I just want you
well,’ he snapped. I bit my lip and frowned, trying to decide what to say. I
wasn’t sure how to handle his irritations in person yet, let alone over the
phone. ‘Don’t worry about the money Mia, just trust me, I can afford it, so you
don’t need to take a loan.’

‘So you just have four thousand lying around do you?’
I said, half joking.

‘Mia I don’t want to discuss my bloody finances in an
open locker room, I’ve told you I can afford it, I won’t tell you again.’

‘But we’ve only been dating for a couple of weeks
Gabe, I can’t let you do that.’

‘I don’t give a
fuck
Mia, days, weeks, months, years,
who bloody cares? I can afford it, you obviously can’t and I’m doing this. Christ
you’re so damn stubborn. Stop
fucking
arguing with me about it,’ he snapped
with a full on glare.

‘Ok,’ I whispered. That was his angry face and his
level of swearing was increasing, so I decided I had to concede for now to save
upsetting him anymore. I’d look into the credit card or student loan option and
argue about repaying him once it was sorted.

‘Baby, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you, I’m
just really frustrated and upset for you. I should be there with you Mia. Promise
me you’ll rest up now and get yourself ready for Tuesday?’

‘Gabe I’m going to be resting up for a bloody week
after. It means no sex,
again
. It’s like the world’s conspiring against
me having a sex life.’ I swigged my beer and saw his brow crease.

‘You’re
drinking
? Already? It’s middle of the bloody
morning.’

‘Give me a break Gabe, I thought I was going to be put
on some pills, now I’m being cut open, having a camera shoved in me, cysts
removed and god knows what else,’ I sighed. I may have backed off arguing about
money, but no way was he bossing me about regarding my drinking again. Anyone
would think I was a bloody alcoholic the way he reacted, I needed to stand my
ground on this.

‘You’re scared Mia, I get that, but you should really be
taking it easy with an op coming up. At least tell me that you’re staying in
tonight now?’

‘No,’ I replied with a firm shake of my head. ‘I’m
partying.
Hard
.’

‘Mia please,’ he groaned and I saw him run his hand
through his hair, a sure sign he was getting worked up again.

‘Please don’t start Gabe, I’m going out to get drunk,
it’s my way of dealing with shit, besides I’ll have Lexi with me, who’ll be
sober, so I’ll be perfectly fine.’

‘Call Lexi for me please, I want to talk to her.’

‘No, because you’re going to try and get her to talk
me out of it and that’s not fair Gabe. You’re putting her in the middle of our
disagreement, besides she’s my best friend, she knows me well enough to know that
this is what I need right now.’

‘
Fuck
Mia.’ I could see the steam coming out of
his ears, his jaw was clenched and his eyes were blazing.

‘You’re getting worked up again Gabe and you really don’t
need this right now. I’m fine, we can talk about it when you get home tomorrow.
Go and get your head in the game, you’re competing shortly, it’s important.’

‘You’re more bloody important,’ he growled. Even when
he was mad like this, all I wanted was for him to step through my bedroom door
and wrap his arms around me and make me feel safe again. I never thought I
could miss a guy the way I was missing him right now. I wanted to beg him to
jump in that taxi and come home right now, but that would be selfish of me.

‘Gabe please, do as you’re told. Lexi will be with me
at all times. I’m fine now, please go and calm down and sort yourself out. I
knew I shouldn’t have rung you.’

‘I’d have been even madder if you hadn’t,’ he hissed,
still scowling.

‘
Gabe
,’ I sighed. ‘You need to prepare for your
competition so I’m going to cut you off now and I won’t answer if you ring me
back. Understood? Good luck, go and win your races. I love you and I’ll see you
tomorrow.’

‘Mia I …’

I blew him a kiss and terminated the call, turned my
phone off and threw myself down onto the bed and started sobbing. I heard Lexi
come in and she climbed up onto the bed with me and hugged me from behind until
I stopped.

‘Why did he have to be away Lexi? I miss him.’

‘Well you’ve got me instead ok? Shit, I can hear my
phone going in the lounge.’

‘Don’t bother getting it, I bet it’s him. He’s mad that
I’m still going out tonight and he wants to convince you to make me stay in and
rest. I told him not to ring you,’ I sniffed.

‘Right, well we’re going out whatever bossy Austin has
to say, you need to get drunk. So why don’t you get up and sort your bag out
for your weekend at his? You’re going to be hung-over in the morning and it’ll
just be a chore. I’ll run you another hot bath with your relaxation bubbles and
then you can have a good sleep. We can blow off History and get you drunk and
ready to party. How does that sound?’

‘We can’t blow off History,’ I sighed. ‘I’m going to
miss a whole week of lectures, I can’t get behind Lex.’

‘So what’s one more afternoon? Plus you’ll have a week
of no sex, running or the gym, so you’ll have loads of time to study and catch
up won’t you?’

‘I guess,’ I shrugged and wiped my eyes on my sleeve.

‘Come on then, I’ll make you a drink and run the
bath.’

‘You really want to skip this afternoon?’

‘Hell yeah, don’t know why I took the boring bloody subject.
So deal?’

‘Deal. Thanks Lex.’ I rolled over and gave her a tight
hug and she gave me one back.

‘Great, start packing then.’

An hour later and I was packed, squeaky clean and
tucked back in bed. Lexi gave me some water to wash down a sleeping tablet,
closed the blinds and kissed my forehead then handed me big boy to cuddle.

‘Present from Gabe?’

‘Yes,’ I said, breaking into a big smile as I gave him
a tight squashy hug.

‘I’ll wake you up at six thirty ok? That gives us an
hour to get ready, plenty right?’

‘Yes that’s more than enough, thanks Lex. Love you.’

‘You too. Sleep.’

I rolled over to Gabe’s side of the bed and breathed
in the scent of him on his pillow as I hugged big boy and tried to put the
impending procedure out of my mind. It took me a while, but eventually I started
feeling groggy and fell asleep dreaming of Gabe, dripping wet and delicious in
his speedos.

Lexi woke me up as promised and I turned on my phone
and saw a missed call and a text from him and surprisingly a text from Doug. I
listened to Gabe’s call first.

‘I can’t believe you just hung up on me and won’t
answer, that’s not acceptable behaviour Mia. Lexi’s not answering either. I’m
sorry for getting mad ok, I’m just upset and frustrated that I’m not there for
you. Call me back right away please’

He still sounded really cross, I sighed and checked
his text.

Please contact me Mia. I’ve finished my races, I was
so angry and amped up on adrenaline that I aced them and even set a new
personal best, so you don’t have to worry about me. We can just focus on you. I’m
really worried about you and I want you to stay in tonight, please don’t argue
with me about this. Gabe <3 xx

I knew I should reply straight away, but I was worried
we’d get into another argument when all I needed was to go out and have some
fun. Just because we were a couple didn’t give him the right to tell me what I
could or couldn’t do. I checked my text from Doug.