Ballistic (32 page)

Watching my parents for some reason, never got old. My father was the provider and protector and my mother seemed fine with it. My mother needed my father and had no qualms about saying so. I was fortunate to have a very candid discussion with him one afternoon while fishing. I asked him if it ever got old, when she depended on him for everything. His answer as always was wise and I was smart enough to listen.

“Son,” he
said, casting his line. “Your mother needing me is what I live for. Don’t mistake her neediness for what it isn’t. Recognize it for what it is. She is a very strong woman and even though she needs me to reach a bowl or change the oil in her car, she never takes advantage. She keeps me calm, she takes care of me and lives for my happiness. If repairing things or sitting through a movie that only makes her cry, makes her happy, I’m all for doing it. I watched her give birth to you, nurse you, stay up with you round the clock so I could sleep and she never once complained she was tired or needed a break.”

“So what you’re saying is
, you need her more than she needs you?”

“No,” he corrects me
. “We need each other. There has to be a balance. Running a household, being a wife and mother are far more challenging than anything I do at work, son. What we do for each other is done so the other can function properly because Anthony,” he says throwing a hand on my shoulder, “without her, I couldn’t function at all.”

The drive to Rogan’s was unusually quiet. No music, no small talk, nothing. I didn’t want to be the one to interrupt her silence in case she was mentally preparing for
the captain or, in case she was still stewing about that little girl and her mother. Watching the two interact might be the most poignant thing I’ve ever witnessed with her so far. Lina is closed off in so many ways, but watching her with that little one, for a minute there, I thought Lina herself was able to be a kid again. For her, children represented everything she searched for. Children were truth in its purest form.

It was obvious how much she hurt for that little girl. Odds are her mother is probably very hands on but, that’s not what she knows as parenting. What she witnessed today
, in her mind, was a mother neglecting her child, so she stepped in. That’s why I said she was a natural. Lina would smother our child with love, attention and affection. She was so engrossed in the little girl, she didn’t notice me taking pictures, then again, she usually doesn’t. When the mother appeared, my heart broke when she tightened her arms around her in protection. At her core, Lina is a protector.

Christ, right now I’d give just about anything to have a family with this woman. She reminds me so much of my own mother. Until now, I’ve been loved unconditionally by one woman and if she were here
, she would approve of Lina. My mother would have taken Lina in and treated her as her own. That was just her way. That need is building in me again. I know it doesn’t make sense. I know she wants to be selfish for a while, but her idea of selfish and mine are very different. She wants a chance to be selfish, keeping me to herself, not having to share. I want to be selfish with her and selfishly have as many children together as she’ll give me. I want to watch her belly grow, work with her mood swings, and watch her nurse our children. I want her selfishly, all of her attention, all of her love and to raise a family. Together. More than anything, I want to see her smile every day.

I
remind myself that saying this out loud would send her running, I don’t say shit. Instead, I decide to up my efforts in other ways. But first we have to get this meeting out of the way. Parking a block over, we walk hand in hand toward Venessa, waiting for us at the door. I hope she doesn’t give us any grief on her home turf, she opens the door, inviting us in, but she stays fairly silent, which I believe was for Lina’s benefit. Venessa knows what using her ability costs Lina and in that moment, my respect for her grows.

“I thought our bedroom would work best for you, Lina,” she says when Rogan walks in
, owning the room. “It’s closest to the living room, and the walls are paper thin. Great for listening, yeah?”

“Yeah,” she says quietly
. “Thanks, Venessa.”

“You’ll go with her
, Tony,” she says. “If the cap sees you---“

“I’m aware,” I tell her quietly while taking Lina’s hand in mine. “Lead the way.”

Entering their bedroom is all sorts of awkward for both of us. I don’t look around and neither does she. Instead, she grabs a chair and sets it by the door. Opening her bag, she pulls out her notebook followed by a pen, then just sits down not speaking to any of us because she’s in her own headspace.

“All good in here?” Rogan
asks, coming to Venessa’s side.

“Yeah,” Lina
says, looking at the floor.

“Okay
, so let’s just say even Macy hasn’t chilled in here before, it’s awkward, yeah? I’m not alone in this am I?” Venessa asks, looking at each of us and we each nod while Rogan laughs. The man laughs now, crazy.

“Room
’s as clean as it’s gonna get,” he booms from the door. “Just don’t look under the bed. Angel’s a slob.”

“I am not!”

“Liar,” Lina whispers absently while making notes on her pad.

“Oh
, that’s not even fair!” Venessa shouts with a smile on her face.

“Lina gets it,” Rogan
says, pulling her from the room.

“Well yeah,” Venessa
says, laughing. “She always gets it, she’s evil like that.”

If you didn’t know what to look for
, you wouldn’t notice when Lina’s body stiffens at being called evil, but I noticed. But before I can do anything, Rafe walks in with Macy and as usual, it’s comical. “So this is where the magic happens?” he asks diving onto their bed and dry humping it “Jonas!” growls Macy.

“Get over here! Wait is that a Tempurpedic?” she asks
, joining him on the bed. “Oh god it is! We have to get one of these!”

“We don’t need one
, princess,” he says, slapping her ass. “They have to have one because he could roll over and crush her. She’s liter-sized.”

“Pint
-sized, you ass,” she says. “What about you, Lina? What size bed do you have? Tony’s a big guy.”

Waiting her for response, I’m hoping she’s not uncomfortable with the focus being on her again. Based on her posture
, I had the feeling she preferred to go unnoticed. I’m ready to jump in at her defense, but she looks up, sets her pen down and looks at me. “He has a king,” she says, smiling. “But I usually sleep in a dog bed on the floor.”

“She’s kidding
, Jonas,” Macy says, laughing when Rafe frowns.

“Tony has a king
, but what do you have?”

“Whatever’s available,” she says
, looking over her shoulder. Just before the doorbell rings, she whispers, “batter up” and in that second, the mood shifted. They leave us and head out to the living room. Pulling up a chair next to her, I take her hand and she lifts it, and kisses my knuckles. Leaning into me she whispers, “Thanks for being here with me.”

The second she hears the
captain’s voice, her entire body tightens next to mine. I watch her eyes cloud over and I know I’d lost her that quickly. There are no words to describe how horrible that feels. I’d lost her before I had a chance to ask her how she knew he arrived, and to tell her there was no place else I’d rather be.

His voice irritates me. He was once a man I respected, a man I thought could do no wrong. That afternoon in the cell
, I made a deal with the devil thinking he was my friend. He changed after that, slowly, day by day, nothing too noticeable. I was young and eager to please. I wanted to use this ability to help people, to help him. I ignored the discomfort his lies brought me, I tucked them down deep. But like all lies, they refused to stay buried.

Don’t get me wrong, I wanted them too.

He was the only father figure I had, that we girls had. I did everything I could to prove his innocence until I couldn’t prove it anymore. Sitting in this chair, in Venessa’s room even with Anthony’s body heat next to me, I feel nauseous. Everything he said is false and they’re falling for it because they can’t feel it like I do. They want to believe him as I once did.  Fighting my way back, I can feel my heart wanting to reject the idea of him doing wrong, but my head says “fuck that, he needs to be held accountable.”

Being sensitive is difficult enough for a normal person
. My being sensitive is physically painful. I’ve done a bang up job of keeping emotion out of my life most days, but today is not one of those days. Knowing the man in the next room is playing my friends like a fiddle
,
angers me. Floating back to awareness, I blink, take a breath and stow my heart away and focus on what I’m good at.
.

Getting answers.

Anthony keeps looking at me like I’m insane, but I’m listening, not loca. Listening takes effort and I have to give it all my attention. Who in the hell came up with these lame questions anyway? They are horrible at this. I mean, A+ for trying, but they fucking fail at Interrogation-101. Standing up, he tugs my hand, pulling me back down. “No,” I tell him firmly.

“You can’t go out there, Sherlock,” he whispers
.

“No? Watch me.”
Removing my hand from his, I move my chair so I can open the door.

“If you go out there
, he’ll shut down.”

“If I don’t go out there
, we’ll never leave this room,” I growl. “They are trying too hard. Oh, and they suck.”

“Give them time to get comfortable,” he urges
. “They have history with this man.”

Getting in his face
, I growl again to make my point. “So do I,” I warn him. “Now move.”

Throwing his hands in the air
, he stands aside, allowing me to open the door and march out into the living room. Rounding the corner I see the cap looks comfortable. He’s lounging and drinking a beer? Oh fuck that. The second I’m seen Macy and Venessa’s eye go round and the men look frustrated. As for the good captain, he gives me his usual look of disdain and like always, it hurt.

“Ain’t no party like a Detroit party,” I offer in way of greeting and surprise, the
captain immediately stands up to leave. “Going somewhere, cap?” I ask, standing next to him hindering his exit. 

“What in the hell is this?” he asks the room
. “What in the hell is
she
doing here?”

“
She”
Anthony says, entering the room, “wants answers.”

“Fuck,” Rafe
mumbles and Rogan just groans. The girls, though, they look pissed.

“I ain’t answering shit with that one here,” he yells
, pointing at me. “Everyone knows she’s a god damn phony.”

“I’d like to remind you that you are in my home,
captain,” Venessa says with her nostrils flaring.

“Yeah
, what she said,” Macy offers, looking equally miffed. “Sit down and answer her questions or I’ll have Rogan make you sit, yeah?”

Reluctantly
, he sits and is none too happy about it.

“On the night of the Russo bust you were lead detective
, if memory serves. Pulling the records from that night---”

“You don’t have the authority to pull those records
, little girl.”

“I don’t? Wasn’t it you that gave me access
, then forgot to change my username and password? Does Alzheimer’s run in your family? Doesn’t matter really, I’ll make this quick, kay? Pulling the records from that night, the raid began at what time?”

“Approximately ten pm, you know that if you read the file.”

“What time did it end?” When he glares and doesn’t answer me, I ask again. “I asked you what time it ended, captain.”

“It took an hour.”

“It took one hour and forty seven minutes, actually. A lead detective would know that because he was on site. Only you weren’t. Where we you, captain?”

“Fuck you.”

“Answer her,” Anthony growls.

“Fuck you too, asshole,” he
spits back.

“If she has to ask you again
, we’re gonna have problems, Captain,” Rogan says.

Rafe follows
with, “These questions ain’t gonna hurt you none if you’re telling the truth, sir.”

“I had an emergency.”

“What was it?”

“My son.”

“On the night of the Cross’ murder,” I begin and feel awful when Venessa gasps looking at me like I’m about to rip her world apart. I can’t dispute the look because it’s possible I will.  “Detective Cross’ partner and wife were also murdered. What was his partner’s name?”

“Detective Gryza,” he growls
. “Be very careful what you ask me next, Halina.”

“Sure thing
, sir,” I say, smiling. “You were out of town on the night of this double homicide, another emergency, I presume. However, the officers in charge were present at both scenes, which I find utterly impossible. They were ordered by
you
to be in two places at once. Another interesting fact was that the officers you called to both scenes were also killed with no investigation noted, per your orders. So what I’m wondering is, if the Russo’s were, in fact, responsible for all these deaths, which it’s fair to say they were, why weren’t you killed too? Because the only officer to survive was
you
.”

“I don’t know,” he mumbles
, looking at the floor playing the part of the sad detective who was spared. “I wish I knew.”

“Oh
, but I know,” I tell him and when I do, I see his body tense. “You made a deal to save your own ass, then you left.”

“That’s a god damn lie.”

“Tell me about the deal. Were you paid off?” I ask as he starts to sweat and shift on the sectional.

“I’m done with you,” he yells at me
. “After tonight you won’t ever work in my fucking city again!”

Sliding off the couch, kneeling in front of him
, I look him in the eyes. “Do you miss them?”

“You don’t know who the fuck you’re dealing with,” he growls
down at me. “You should be ashamed.” I searched inward for the shame he mentions I should have but found none. Not that I expected to find any mind you, mostly I did it out of boredom.

“Answer the fucking question
, Captain,” Venessa says, standing next to me with Rogan next to her.

“Yes
, I miss them.”

“Were you promised
captain if you closed the investigation?”

When I drop that one in his lap h
e jumps up, knocking me over in the process. Then, because he was all worked up he pretty much went ballistic. “You think I wanted this job at the expense of my friends?” he yells, while Anthony helps me up.

“Answer her,”
Anthony orders him.

“You are barking up the wrong tree
, Halina,” he says, staring me down. “Maybe you should spend your time looking into the history of the man you’re currently fucking instead of pissing all over history that needed to stay where it was.”

“Where’s that
, captain?” Venessa asks.

“In the past!”

Within seconds, he was clutching his chest, seconds after that, he falls onto the sectional and only Macy rushes forward to help.

“He’s having a heart attack
,” she says, moving him to his back.

“Yeah
, well, guilt will do that to you,” I offer, walking into the kitchen with Venessa and Rogan following me. Rafe calls for an ambulance and once it arrives, no one goes with the captain to the hospital. Instead they all gather in the kitchen, looking to me to drop the big bomb.

So I did.