Ballistic (42 page)

Everyone keeps insisting I sleep. They don’t understand that I can’t. Not without him. Sitting next to his bed in a pair of hospital issued scrubs, I
felt itchy and claustrophobic. I felt no sadness or remorse for what I’d done. Those memories won’t keep me up at night. Sitting there while he’s sleeping, though… Looking around the room I ditched the bottoms and saw that his left side is heavily bandaged. His left arm has several IV’s but his right side is free. Gently pulling back the blanket and making myself a spot, I slipped in and the second my fingers touched his skin, I felt my eyes start to close. Despite the circumstances, what happened in Julian’s house of horrors was a revelation for me.

The last piece of myself I was holding back from him shattered. There is no denying I need him 24/7
. Even the thought of him leaving to use the bathroom has me gripping him tighter. To know how easily I could have lost him, to know that I was supposed to lose him. To know that without him, there would be no future for me without him in it. For the first time in my life, I loved someone and he loved me too.

He offered his life in place of mine and I did the same. When I see my second chance for what it was, the gift I was
given in him and the truth, a freedom of which I’ve never known filled me. It took me over and mended the broken parts.

It hit me with such force that if I hadn’t been horizontal, I’d have collapsed on the floor. This
was it.

This
was what ‘everything’ feels like.

‘Everything’ was simply Anthony.

I had to put my size 3.5’s down or I was going to find an ass to stick them in. That means I’d had enough. For the last two weeks, his house has been flooded by our friends or as I call them ‘
the firing squad’
. Question after question was fired in his direction and it was exhausting
him
and testing
my
patience. Okay
now
they want to know him? Now they’re Team-Tony? If you labeled me a brat right now, I’d claim it. I’d own that shit because I don’t want to share him with anyone.

Ever.

Before he was discharged, I begged the nurse to remove my cast, and after an hour of whining, she finally did it. Now it’s only in an air brace and I’m close to being fully functional. Anthony though, he’s been a good sport. If he had his way, he would spend his days cooking and taking care of me. But he’s not getting his way. He’s getting carry out and my undivided attention.

A few interesting things have happened in the last week alone. The first being he quit the FBI
. The second being I quit profiling. As we discussed finances and renovations at the new house, I was stunned to realize he wasn’t just set up from his parents. He was ‘
set up’
from his parents.

To be loved like that still floors me
, only it shouldn’t. He loves me like that. I love him like that, too. Last night we invited everyone over for a one-night-only run down of the history of events. I brought all of my work down, set it up in the living room and when they got there, I showed them how I knew it was Julian. I explained what he told me, how the past connected to the future and the captain’s roll in all of it.

At first they were quiet
, then the questions came. In the end, I believe everyone got the closure and justice they were looking for. The captain isn’t off the hook, but his resignation didn’t go unnoticed by any of us either. Did we fix Detroit? No. But we gave the streets and its citizens a reprieve. For now, Venessa is still DJ’ing at Lush with Rogan by her side and Jules as head of security. Her boys are being sent home to work on another job soon, but Mack, their boss, promised if they were needed, he would send them back.

Macy is back to part time at the hospital
and wanted to start a family soon. Rogan and Rafe both were promoted to lead detectives which was how it should have been had they actually wanted the promotions. They didn’t. Word is, a new captain would be sworn in by the end of the month and based on the candidates, it’s safe to say each are a step up from what we’ve had. Jules and Max leave tomorrow for a much needed vacation, finally.

Venessa and Rogan, okay no. Rogan more than Venessa, wants to nail down a wedding date. From where I’m sitting
, he’s going to be groomzilla. It’s all he can talk about, and truth? It’s fucking adorable and she thinks so too.

The people I love are safe and happy.

Locking the doors after they leave, I turn on my beats pill and start to clean up when Tony comes in and takes my phone. “Hey!” I growl at him for being up when he should be resting. “What did I tell you about touching my shit?”

“Shut up,” he says
, setting it down on the table and pulling me into his arms. “Dance with me.”

It starts with the voice of the man I’ve relied on to get me through life for years. Then it was
his
voice singing those lyrics back to me that reminded me of my future. Closing my eyes and resting my head on his chest, he leads me around the kitchen with slow, graceful steps. When he lifts my chin and sings the rap to me, I honest-to-god melt.

He memorized Eminem for
me
.

Twirling me gently and bringing me back into his arms, he continues to blow me away with his voice, with his movement, with his love.

And I just can't keep living this way

So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage

I'm standing up, I'ma face my demons

I'm manning up, I'ma hold my ground

I've had enough, now I'm so fed up

Time to put my life back together right now

We finish the song with a beautifully long kiss, but we don’t stop dancing. We may have danced for hours. With him, I have no sense of time or worry. As long as he has me, I have no place else to be. Looking in his eyes, I can feel his love wrap around me like the softest blanket. That night we cuddle like we always do and he asks me to tell him about that day. I promised that I would when the time was right.

I may tell him someday, I may not. Although I’m big on the truth, when it comes to protecting the one you love
, some stories are better left untold.

Stretching my body
, I noticed the tightness had eased. Even with Lina draped over me, she’s conscious of my wounds. Before this happened, her need for me only showed itself in her sleep. Now though, to say she needs me is an understatement. I would never say it out loud, but I love it.

She let me in.

Every emotion, thought and feeling is there for me to see. I was right, as I usually am. She was the one who taught me to love. Little did I know, I did the same for her in return. Sighing to myself with complete contentment, I smiled privately. Pops was one smart man and he nailed it.

It was all about the chase and my woman would never let me catch her.

These weeks with her have humbled me.

She’s been my nurse and my friend but, I miss my woman. I miss being inside of her, telling her how it feels and losing myself in her but, it’s been a blessing too. We’ve started the remodel of our new home. There isn’t a tool or project she can’t fix or figure out. I put my notice in on my lease here and we spend our days working and getting to know each other.
There are so many sides to her, that I’ve made it a mission to unravel them all and she lets me.

At this point it’s safe to say with me
, her walls have disappeared. It’s been weeks since she’s floated and when she even senses it could happen, she seeks me out to help her stay put. Our friends stop in often, which drives her nuts too. Outside of Jules and Max, she still has quite the shield against everyone else. It’s not that she doesn’t love them, she does. But a house full of people or a crowd anywhere tends to raise her guard a bit, but she’s getting better.

She’s also become very close to Max which, I like a lot. One night about two weeks ago
, he and I went out back for a beer and he told me some things. He explained in detail how she had trained a gun on Jules, prepared to fill all of them with holes to protect me. He also said once I was out of surgery, Lina called him and pulled a favor. He picked up every item on her list, which was only four gas cans filled with unleaded, two lighters, a fifth of vodka and a pack of cigarettes.

Together they burned Julian’s house down with all the evil
, and even her beloved Mrs. Mathers inside of it. He said she torched it all with a cigarette in her mouth and smile on her face. When it was over, she drove my car back to the hospital to be with me where she quickly showered and crawled into my hospital bed. I haven’t asked and she has mentioned it, but I think she knows I know. My woman drove her truck through the front of a house to get to me. I may never get over her doing that, but damn, I bet she was a fucking sight to see.

When her teammate called begging her to skate, I knew her answer would be no. However, I managed to get her to agree. I explained to her that I needed to get out of the house and watching her was my greatest form of entertainment. Since
she’d been gone a while, she’s going in as back up, but insists she’ll see some action because ‘a bitch is always bleeding’. Oddly enough, she invited everyone to come watch her, which I was not expecting. But it was a gesture and I’m pretty sure it was also her way of making sure I didn’t overdo it. We’ve been surviving on carry out and conversation lately and as much as I love it and her, my woman needs some adult time. She also has to be able to be without me for small periods of time at some point, which, right now, she refuses to do.  After calling in a favor, I have a surprise planned for her after her match, when she’s high on adrenaline and less likely to shoot me down.

Coming up behind her, I sink my fingers into her gorgeous pony tail and pull back
, tipping her mouth to mine. “I need you,” I groan into her mouth. “Bedroom now.” Pulling away from me and looking over her shoulder, she winks then runs off, pulling her shirt over her head and dropping it on the floor. Followed by her bra, yogas and fuck me, her panties, she giggles “Catch me!” then bolts.

Chasing after her
, she squeals when I catch her at the top of the stairs. Grabbing her ankles and turning her toward me I’m reminded of how we met. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

“Coach,” she says
, falling onto the king size of our newly decorated room and opening her arms. “Looks like you caught me fair and square.”

Kneeling next to her
, she undresses me and I watch. We haven’t done this in so long, I’m nervous I won’t last. When she squeezes my balls, I grunt looking down at her.

“Focus,” she growls
. “I’m going to open my mouth and you’re going to grand slam it, got it, coach?”

“Fuck,” I groan when she lays on her back balancing on her elbows. Guiding me to her
, she jerks me enough to have me rock hard then licks her lips “Open your mouth wider,” I order her.

W
hen she smiles and asks, “Oh like this? Ahhh----” I bring her head to my cock, and like she always does, she takes all of me. Just as I was getting into it, she pulls back, spits all over it and flips over onto her hands and knees.

“God,” I moan
, rubbing my hands over my face. “I’m going to smack the shit out of that ass, you know that right?”

Wiggling it back and forth to tease me
, she simply says, “Duh.” I move her knees further apart and slam home. There is no going slow. I need to come inside of her so her body remembers mine. Grabbing her hips I rotate my own and she moans, “Oh that’s new!” and then, “Don’t fake an injury, do it again!”

In seconds I have a steady rhythm of fucking her without pulling on my stitches. Her ass is bouncing in time with my thrusts and when I spank her
, she goes ballistic, like screaming and ripping the bedding apart, ballistic.

“Coach,” she says
, breathlessly after coming. “Let me flip over. I need to see you.”

Moving so she can adjust when I look at her
, I see the worry there. Leaning down on my left side, I kiss her and tell her, “I’m right here, Lina,” I remind her. “I’m not going anywhere.” Wrapping her arms around my neck and burying her face she cries and cries. “Lina, it’s okay. I’m right here with you.”

“I lost you,” she says quietly
. “You don’t know what that was like. Promise me you’ll live forever, even if you have to lie.”

“For you, I promise
. I’ll live forever,” I tell her, running my fingers up and down her arms.

“Okay,” she sniffs
. “I’m better now. Game on.”

Laughing at how quickly she recovers, I realize she
needs not only a physical release, but an emotional one too. The guys still won’t tell me what they saw when they got there that day. As soon as I ask, they look at Lina and refuse. Keeping her slightly on her side, I rock into her slowly and she accepts me as always. Kissing me, holding me, and loving me just as I’m about to come, she wrecks me with happiness.

“Coach? About that team you want?”

“Yeah?” I groan, holding it back. I owe it to her to wait, but she needs to hurry.

“I’d like to start soon, like now even.”

Letting out a fierce roar, I come the hardest I ever have. Jesus, who gets off on the thought of getting his woman pregnant? Apparently I do, because looking down at the woman meant for me even thinking this could be it, has me hard again. Sadly, I still tire easily so she lays there with me letting me doze for a bit.

“You don’t do anything in half measures do you?” I ask her when she snuggles into my uninjured side

“The only thing in life you should do in half measures, is cook and jury duty,” she says, kissing near my bandage. “And I’m not allowed to ever go to jury duty and I’m not even a good cook, so there’s a good chance our kids will starve.”

We’re both quiet for a minute and when I lean in to tell her I love her
, I see she’s sound asleep. Kissing her forehead, I tell her I love her anyway and fall asleep myself.