“We fight a lot,” she said, hiccupping into her cup
“But we don’t mean it
, yeah?” I told her, stretching out on the floor.
Macy and Jules passed out hours ago. Lina isn’t much for sleeping. She wouldn’t ever admit it
, but she stays awake to make sure we’re all safe. She also takes the heat for us every time we get into shit and she never once asked for anything in return. We argued because Lina and I are a lot alike. I give her shit because she gives it back with a smile. It’s not easy for her to be around us, but she sucks it up because she loves us. Hell, we love her too.
“I’m glad we’re friends, V,” she
said, smiling.
“It’s gonna sound messed up
, but one day you’re going to do something huge. I just don’t know what it is, but I do know only you can do it.” Thinking back on that day, it wasn’t until I met Rogue that I realized she was right. I did do something huge. I found my light when I was at my darkest and he saved me.
We all go through shit. What happened to my family changed the course of my life. But I had a family that loved me. Lina never did and she always searched for it. But watching her protect Tony, I knew that even though she didn’t know love before, she knew it now.
Lina was always a scrapper. Tiny and fierce, that girl never let her size slow her down. She was given an ability few could live with, but she did because she doesn’t quit. I never told her that I think she’s the baddest bitch around because I knew she wouldn’t believe me even if she felt the truth of it. But it’s true. Yeah, I have a dark side. Macy is wicked smart, and Jules plays by her own rules, but, it’s Lina that we’re all envious of. Lina’s lived a life of purpose despite shitty circumstances. Seeking the truth, even at the risk of losing herself to the madness that came with it. Shit, the rest of us made a life of hiding from it. But not her. She walked right up to madness and punched it in the face.
The guilt I feel for not taking the time to get to know the Tony she knows
, will weigh on me. She saw the truth of him when all I saw was what I wanted to see. I couldn’t see past my own shit to what he’d been doing for me all these years. Tony fell for my sister and that’s what makes breathing a little easier. That, and she fell for him right back. I’d never say it out loud, well maybe only to Rogue but, I’m tired of fighting.
I want to have a life with him and my friends. And because of Lina, I will. We all will.
“She’s gonna be fine,” he says, pulling me to him. “Tony too. She ain’t no quitter, none of you are.”
“They love each other,” I tell him quietly while we both watch the medics work on Tony with Lina holding onto him. “I wasn’t a good friend, Rogue.”
“What he did for you was fucking epic, Angel,” he says. “Ain’t no two ways about it. But he didn’t let you in, either because he couldn’t. He wanted you spared. I gotta respect that and so do you.”
“Yeah but when I used to tell him stories about her I never thought---
”
“A man’s gotta find hope where he can,” he whispers in my ear
. “You gave him hope when you told him them stories. She gave him everything else. It worked out. Let it keep working out.”
“Fuck, you’re good at this.”
“I’m good at everything, Angel,” he says, kissing me. “About time you all paid attention.”
Then
, just before the door closed, Lina and I locked eyes and she smiled at me and I smiled back.
Oh, I know
that
smile. Lina wasn’t lost, she was thinking.
I remember
ed it clearly. We were both in college and met up for lunch. I knew Lina was changing, putting up more walls, but I didn’t know what to do about it. I had my hands full with Venessa and I knew from experience pushing someone who wasn’t ready, wasn’t the way to go. But the Lina I met in high school and the Lina who worked murder cases now, are two very different people. Jules leaving was hard on her and both Venessa and I both felt like shit for not seeing it sooner. Didn’t matter though. The damage was done. Now I’d just take any time she was willing to give me, which was almost never.
I
’d asked her why she didn’t date and her answer gave me insight into what her ability must really be like for her. “Some things you’re just better off not knowing,” she said, lighting a cigarette. “It’s not like I haven’t tried. Men like to lie, Macy. Whether it’s to make you feel good, them feel good, or save their own ass, men are actually quite good at it.”
“Do you think you’ll ever meet the one that won’t lie to you?”
“If I do,” she said, laughing, “I’ll run so far so fast even the fucking truth can’t catch me.”
“I’d love to see it,” I
told her, laughing too.
“You better be there!” she
laughed again.
“You have long legs; I plan on piggy backing until you get tired, then grabbing a cab.”
Despite the death Lina left in her wake, I smile thinking back on the day Lina made that announcement. Though at the time, she meant it, Tony saved her and Lina being Lina turned around and saved him right back. Though our situations were different, they were also very similar. I count on actions. She counts on words, but in the end, we both just wanted to be loved. I guess it doesn’t matter which form it takes as long as it’s real and it’s honest.
I met Tony through Venessa and I’m ashamed to admit I didn’t make the effort to know him well. Bet your ass had I known he wanted Lina all that time, I would have. But I made a promise to myself that once he pulled through, I would make the time. If Lina would kill for the guy,
it was because he was worth it. When Jonas squeezes me, I tilt my head up to smile at him.
“The four of you are somethin’,” he says
, kissing me. “I was worried back there, Princess. How’d Jules know she wouldn’t shoot?”
Kissing him back I whisper
, “She didn’t.”
“You four are like your own fucking tribe
, you know that?”
“A tribe?” I ask
, smiling. “Don’t you mean a club, unit or---”
“No, smart ass,” he growls
. “I meant tribe. Like fucking war paint, spears and crotchless panties. Warriors, amazons, and not the dot com neither. A fucking tribe. Follow me now?”
“I love you,
Captain,” I whisper. “We can play dress up at home later if you want to.”
“That got you hot
, didn’t it? I got a name for your tribe and everything.”
“Oh hell, this I’ve got to hear.” Then he whispers it into my ear and I covered my mouth to keep from howling.
“Where do you come up with this shit?”
“You didn’t just marry me for my tight ass, Princess. I got brains when it counts.”
“That you do, Jonas. But I do love your tight ass.”
Watching Lina care for Tony, I squeeze him a little harder and he squeezes back. Thanking her silently for putting an end to this madness when she looks up and smiles, I knew she got it. I also knew that she may have been gone for a minute
, but we didn’t lose her in the end. Because of her, we’ll all get our fairy tale.
There was something about that smile
, though. She didn’t show it often because when she did, it meant she was up to something.
Oh boy…
“To call woman the weaker sex is a libel; it is man’s injustice to woman. If by strength is meant brute strength, then, indeed is woman less brute than man. If by strength is meant moral power, then woman is immeasurable man’s superior. Has she not greater intuition, is she not more self-sacrificing, has she not greater powers of endurance, had she not greater courage? Without her, man could not be. If nonviolence is the law of our being, the future is with woman. Who can make a more effective appeal to the heart than woman?” ~Ghandi
If he was here with me, I’d shake his hand I tell him simply
, “I got it, Pops.”
The thing about second chances is that you don’t want to
do anything stupid like take it for granted. So when I opened my eyes and found her attached to me, I took a deep breath and smiled. At this point, I can’t do much else. I had tubes in my arms, my stomach is bandaged and my head hurts like a bitch. None of that matters though. She did.
She
is here, safe with me. Lina saved my life.
As always
, she held onto me like I was the only thing keeping her tethered to this world. Who knows, maybe for her I was. I’ve thought about my parents a lot over the years, but my only regret now is that they would never meet the woman I fell in love with. Like my mother said, to find heaven I had to look up.
And I did.
“Piękno,” I whisper, but she doesn’t move. “Sherlock,” I try again and slowly moving my arm, I reach under hers and…
“Ow fuck! What is it with you and pinching? You’re back!” she squeals while kissing me
.
“I missed you Lina,” I tell her
, but she’s too busy kissing me where I’m not injured and crying while she does it. “Lina,” I moan and she bumps my stomach. I hate to do it, but I have to. “You’re hurting me, piękno slow down. I’m right here.”
“I’m sorry,” she says
, switching to crying into my neck. “I missed you too,” she says, clutching me. “Don’t ever leave me alone like that again. I was lost without you.”
“Never again,” I promise her
. “How long have I been out?”
“Almost forty-eight hours,” she sniffs
. “You lost a lot of blood but we’re a match so I gave you mine. No one’s blood was going to heal you accept my own. I’m positive I’m immortal until at least Thursday. They got the bullets out and patched you up. Doc says with lots of rest, you’ll be fine.”
“Look at me,” I ask her before I fall back asleep
. “You saved my life. Thank you.”
“You saved
my
life, Anthony,” she says. “I love you so much. I want to shoot him all over again just so you can cheer me on,” she whispers.
“Did he …?” I ask her
, as my memory returns.
“No
, coach, he didn’t. I belong to you. Just you,” she says, running her fingers through my hair. “You rest now, okay?”
“Sherlock,” I say
, yawning. “I don’t remember what life was like before you, but when my time’s up, I’ll remember what life was like with you.”
“Coach?”
“Hmm?”
Kissing my cheek then laying her head down on my chest
, she links her tiny hand with mine. “We did it.”
“Yeah
, Sherlock,” I tell her, dozing with a smile on my face. “
You
did.” Falling asleep with her close to me was all the medicine I needed. Then again, whatever was dripping into my arm along with knowing her blood was flowing through me wasn’t hurting either. Especially when I thought it was the drugs responsible for what I thought were my parents smiling down at us.