Bane (27 page)

Bastards.

They needed intel only I had, on several contacts I’d used through my years at Black Division. Operatives didn’t give out their field allies. It was understood. Most of the time, having the outside resources was what kept us alive.

Alex, Sarge’s boss, wasn’t retiring. That had all been lies from Sarge. After Sarge and Eric had all the pieces of their puzzle together … Alex would have an “accident”, leaving Black Division to Sarge.

To get their finances in order, Sarge and Eric were involved in several illegal gun smuggling operations. Up until this last year, they’d kept the operation small and under the radar. Then, when they decided to take the side business to the next level they needed my Middle East contact. My contact could get information on anything or anyone. He was still alive.

Sarge hoped with Jasmine’s death I would come to the wrong side of the line. I hadn’t. And I’d walked. Knowing I wouldn’t be swayed to join them, they’d let me walk. That’s why there had been a large gap in the years since they’d contacted me.

From what I could tell, Alex had no idea all this was going on.

The squad who’d tried to raid my safe house in Atlanta had been killed days before they came to Colorado and that’s why the team had only been Hampton, Eric, and Sarge. There were to be no loose ends. Hampton’s men killed the ones holding Felicia.

They’d planned to kill Hampton and Felicia as soon as Maren and I were safely in route to our destination.

Fuckers.

Sarge knew better than to beg for his life. He’d taken the bullet stoically. Eric spit and had been an asshole to the end. All of this—the loss, the pain, the sadness—was to try and keep me in Black Division.

Regrets.

I’d always regret my decisions that cost me Jasmine and Faith. They’d forever be part of who I was. But, maybe, just maybe, I was being given a second chance at life.

Forgiveness.

Could I forgive myself? I hoped so. Maren entered my life like a ray of sunshine showing me that there were things worth living for. She’d accepted me for who I was regardless of my scarred soul. Maren wanted me as I was. Stupidly, I’d pushed her away. I needed to prove myself to her.

“You look deep in thought. Do you remember it all?”

I nodded at Hampton’s question. The reason they’d gone after Hampton was to get to me. They needed his help to get me into situations. Before Maren, there was nothing to lose in my life. Hampton was a casualty because of his association with me.

We’d put all the bodies inside the cabin and set it on fire. The same had been done at the shed. There’d be no way to trace the identities after Hampton removed the teeth in case dental records were used. With the combustible resources we’d used, the fire should’ve burned hot enough to leave no traces of the body. Hell, it’d be hard to tell how many people died there.

After all that had been done, we’d gotten in the car and drove off. Shit, I’d lost a lot of blood and pushed beyond my limits to keep my family safe.

“Yeah, I remember it all.”

Maren cried while I held her until I’d passed out in the car. Her brother had been left in the cabin to burn. The memory of her staring at the cabin in complete silence would haunt me forever. There was no other choice and I hoped to hell she forgave me for it.

Hampton interrupted my thoughts. “She’s a strong girl, Bane. I’m sure she’s hurting, but she’s putting up one hell of a front. Just remember her world’s been rocked. Give her time to adjust.”

“I know.”

How much time would she need? Would I even be able to convince her I was the right choice? Would I be able to let go of the past so I could love with my whole heart? That was what Maren deserved.

As promised, about twenty minutes later, Maren walked through the door with a sweet smile on her face. Hampton gave her a hug and indiscreetly left. “You’re looking better. How are you feeling?”

Sitting next to me on the bed, Maren looked me over as I grabbed her hand. “Better. What did the doctor say?”

The baby and Maren were all that mattered. I’d survive. Maren touched her stomach. “The baby is perfect from what they can tell. All my blood work came back good. The spotting happens in some cases. They said not to worry, but if it happens again to come back. He put me on vitamins and folic acid. I need to have my next visit in about a month wherever we end up.”

Relief coursed through me. There had been an underlying fear of Maren not keeping the baby. With her plans for the future, I knew she was keeping the baby. Of course she was keeping the baby. My head was a mess from all the drugs. My thinking was delayed—slowed.

I leaned back trying to stay casual. “Have you been sick anymore?”

“No, not so far. Just queasy from time to time.”

“Good.” Then a thought occurred to me as I shot straight up wincing from the pain. “What name did you use at the hospital?”

Gently, she pushed me back down. Her sweet aroma enveloped me. “Don’t worry. Hampton has been taking good care of me. No one knows my real name, not even John Willbanks. I used Kendra Childers from the bag I was supposed to use when we walked away from each other. You’d packed it before you set the cabin on fire.”

Oh, fuck. I could hear the hurt in her voice. “Maren—”

She held up her hand and gave me a loving kind look. “It’s okay, Bane. I get what we were, I do. You can be as involved as you want in this baby’s life since we’re now connected. But if you still need to walk away, I’ll understand. We were pawns in their game.”

“No, Maren, you don’t understand.”

I tried to explain, but she cut me off again, not listening. “Bane, until you found out I was pregnant you were willing to leave without a glance back. I heard the resoluteness in your voice that morning. You choosing to be with me at this point would be out of obligation. I’ll never be Jasmine.”

This was not going to plan. “Maren—”

“Bane, I get it. It’s okay. From the beginning you were upfront with me. I stepped out of line the morning before everything went down. That was my fault for not keeping my promise.”

Her words hurt. Was I using Maren to replace Jasmine? No, I wanted to ask her to stay with me before we found out about the baby. I wanted Maren. Jasmine had been my past. Maren was my future. I’d come after her if I’d had the willpower to leave in the first place. Resisting Maren wouldn’t be possible.

With her jaw set, I knew Maren’s mind was made up. Hell, if I was her, I’d believe I was a second place prize too. Shit.

Taking my hand, she gently rubbed the scabbed knuckles. “We’re going to be connected for a long time. I want us to get along. For our child’s sake. Just let me know what you want to be involved in and I’ll make sure you have all the details if you decide to stay.”

“Everything, Maren. I want to be involved with everything.”

A beautiful smile graced her lips. While I was involved with the baby, I’d work on convincing Maren that I wanted her to. She was worth the effort to try and make a go of it. She was worth opening my heart up again to the potential of being hurt. The connection was stronger with Maren than it had been with Jasmine. If something happened to her, I’d be finished. There’d be no coming back for redemption.

“Can we go back to Atlanta?”

Panic set in. There was no way I could take a chance with Maren in Atlanta so close to where this all started. Eric and Sarge seemed to be telling the truth, but I’d been fooled by them before. “Not right now. I need to make sure the intel we got from Sarge and Eric is correct. Maren, I’m going to need to keep you close to me for a while. If there is still someone out there, I can’t take the chance with you.”

“Or the baby.” Did she think this was only because of the baby? Of course she did. Maren’s hand touched the side of my face as she rubbed her thumb over my lips hushing me. “I get it. I’ll need a life of my own eventually, but for now while things are settling this will work.”

The words stung, but were deserved. I was gnashing my teeth at the thought of some other fucker even daring to touch Maren.
Calm down, Bane. This is going to take patience. I’m the one who fucked up.

Not acknowledging having a life without me, I responded, “I think we’ll be able to leave tomorrow.”

Maren stood and walked over to the chair by the side of the bed. “Where are we going? Please make it somewhere warmer.”

“How does Brandon, Florida sound? It’s near Tampa.” I knew someone who had a place there. It wasn’t necessarily a safe house, but it was remote and would provide escape options. With the baby, Maren needed to be able to get to a hospital if something went wrong. Until it had been a few days without any spotting, I would be on edge regardless of what the doctors said.

Maren yawned. “That works for me.”

“I’ll work with Hampton to make the arrangements.” I breathed a sigh of relief. I’d have her with me for a bit.

“Sounds perfect.”

Slowly her eyes drifted closed as she held her stomach. We still hadn’t discussed how she felt about the baby. Hell, we still hadn’t discussed much at all.

BANE AND I hadn’t talked about the obvious elephant in the room—what we felt about having this baby. He wanted to be involved, but was it out of obligation or because he wanted to be part of the child’s life? I hoped it was the latter. If not, the baby would be better off without someone who wasn’t truly committed.

I wanted this baby. I loved this baby. It was a part of something special we’d shared together, created by the two of us.

We’d touched down about an hour ago and were in another black SUV driving through smaller towns. The green of Florida was a welcome sight from the cold snow. Part of me missed the cabin. The other part was still healing from losing my brother. So many mistakes had been made through the course of all this. I’d never know why Frankie did what he did, but I knew he loved me when he died.

People lose their way sometimes. Only the lucky ones find their way back. Before Bane, I’d merely been surviving and enabling Frankie in his gambling addiction. Now, I had a chance to reclaim my life back. A tear slipped out as I thought back to Frankie’s last moments. He had been the only family left.

The past can’t be changed as it was set in stone. The future was a blank slate waiting to be etched in stone.

Three men followed us who were part of a team Bane put together. His friend from a previous job, Jeremy, recommended them. They had one mission. Protect me.

Even though the idea of being a mom was still new to me, I couldn’t imagine losing my child. There was a connection I felt, an indescribable love from someone I never met. I didn’t know the specifics of Jasmine and Faith’s murders, but to lose the love of your life and your baby at the same time explained why Bane was the way he was about commitment—keeping everyone at a distance.

We drove passed a food stand. A little boy had a Popsicle that the mom handed him. It brought a smile to my face. That would be me soon. “Do you have another safe house here?”

Bane was relaxed as he spoke. Only his eyes gave away how tense he was as he scanned the area. “No. This one is a friend’s. He owed me a favor. It has several escape options. We can get out easily by land, air or sea.” My stomach churned as I looked out the window. I hoped our running days were over. “Angel, there’s no reason to think anyone is still out there. I’m only doing this to make sure.”

Hearing my pet name melted my insides and lowered my resolve. I had to remain strong. To enter in to this for the sole reason of a child would eventually make us unhappy. Two people should only be together for one reason—love.

It took six years for Eric to reveal himself. How long would we have to wait? Honestly, at this point, I didn’t want to know the answer, but I needed an idea. “How long will we be here until you think it’s safe to find a place to settle? At some point I’ll need to find a job.”

Bane’s eyes got wide. “Maren, you can stay with the baby. I can provide for both of you.”

“Bane, I’ll need to provide for the baby too.”

He didn’t say a word. I let it go. Eventually, when it was safe, we would have to discuss me having a life. The other day he’d ignored me when the mention of me working came up.