Banished Love (31 page)

I shrugged.

“Does my presence make you uncomfortable, Clarissa?” Gabriel asked.

“No, not at all,” I said. “Well, yes, it does, but I like your company.” I felt foolish as he chuckled.

“Her Jonas seems an important man,” Gabriel said, as he continued to study him.

“Well, at least
he
thinks he is. He’s a lawyer.”

Gabriel looked at me, raising one eyebrow with amusement. “A subtle, yet important distinction,” Gabriel murmured.

A breathless Aunt Betsy approached, more stooped than usual and leaning heavily on her cane. Her arrival took me by surprise, as I had not heard her cane.

“Clarissa, dear, I haven’t seen you all evening. Why are you hiding in the corner?” she chided. She wore her most fashionable gown of ivory silk chiffon with ivory silk lace netting over the silk skirts. Black lace appliqués were sewn on under the silk lace net around the hem and bodice of the dress. Her black elbow-length gloves matched the flowing black belt at her corseted waist.

I moved toward her and kissed her cheek. “Aunt Betsy, I’m not hiding. This is the best place to watch everyone.” I smiled and turned to Gabriel. “Aunt Betsy, may I introduce Mr. Gabriel McLeod. He worked for Uncle Martin to build the new display, and he is building me new bookcases for the school.” I turned to Gabriel. “Mr. McLeod, my Aunt Betsy, Mrs. Tobias Parker.”

Gabriel bowed toward Aunt Betsy. “I am honored to meet you, ma’am,” he said, a smile playing around his mouth.

“And I you, Mr. McLeod. You do beautiful carpentry work for someone so young.” She smiled at me and then turned back toward Gabriel. “I was hoping that this would be one event where my beautiful niece would not spend the evening skulking in the shadows. She seems to prefer living on the periphery these days, Mr. McLeod. Have you noticed that?”

“Aunt…” I began, but Aunt Betsy interrupted me.

“I had hoped there would be someone here willing to take a turn about the room with her,” Aunt Betsy continued, as though to no one in particular.

“I believe that the choice of whether to remain in the shadows or to enter the light again is a decision only Miss Clarissa can make. Wouldn’t you agree, Mrs. Parker?” Gabriel replied.

“Well said, young man. I just hope she makes the correct decision,” Aunt Betsy replied. “Oh, there is Sean. I must speak with him and offer my congratulations to him and Mrs. Sullivan. I’m told the baby will be born in November.” Aunt Betsy departed as abruptly as she had arrived, her movements heralded by the thumping of her cane.

We remained in silence a few moments.

“Which would you prefer, Miss Clarissa?”

“The light,” I responded, looking up toward him with glowing eyes.

He smiled fully at me, flashing his dimple, offering me his elbow. “Let’s speak with Richard and Colin. They are a friendly pair to start with.” I nodded my agreement.

We walked around the room, from group to group, interacting with everyone. I had not realized how much I had missed listening to the stories, hearing the family news firsthand rather than at the breakfast or dinner table.

When we approached Colin’s group, Lucas had already moved away to speak with Uncle Thomas. I had hoped Lucas would speak with Gabriel and that Lucas would be able to ease the animosity he felt toward Gabriel. After a few moments with our brothers, I led Gabriel to meet Da.

“Da, Mrs. Sm…Sullivan, may I introduce you to Mr. Gabriel McLeod?” As I said the name McLeod, Mrs. Smythe nearly choked on her water. I watched her, daring her to be rude to a guest at my uncle Martin’s house. “He is the man injured in the accident here a few months ago. He built the display in Uncle’s store. Mr. McLeod, Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan.”

Gabriel and Da shook hands, and then Gabriel bowed toward Mrs. Sullivan. But when he spoke, he talked with Da. “My brother knows Colin well, sir.”

“Yes, Richard, isn’t it?” Da responded. With a quick nod from Gabriel, he continued. “Richard was very courteous to my Clarissa recently. We owe him our thanks. He’s also a very fine blacksmith.”

“Yes, sir, I believe he is. Mr. Harris seems to think so,” Gabriel responded with a pleased smile and pride-tinged voice.

Mrs. Sullivan leaned closer to my father, before inquiring in her sugary voice, “How is your dear aunt Masterson? I do count her as such a close, personal friend and confidante.”

Gabriel’s arm jerked under my hand as I felt him tense. “I am sure you know more of my aunt than I do, ma’am,” he replied in a flat voice.

“Oh, how she worries about you boys!” She turned to my da, simpering, “Their aunt took them in when their parents died in an unfortunate accident years ago and raised them as her own. Wasn’t that a Christian act?” She touched a lace handkerchief to her left eye as though blotting a sympathetic tear.

Gabriel continued to watch her, with blue ice-chip eyes. “I don’t believe religion had much to do with it, ma’am. If you will excuse me?” He bowed and turned to leave.

I thought Gabriel’s tension would ease as we distanced ourselves from Mrs. Smythe, but he continued to breathe heavily and stare straight ahead. Soon we had returned to the corner of the room where the night had begun.

“Gabriel,” I began. He shook his head, indicating he did not want me to speak. I remained silent and continued to hold his arm, attempting to impart what comfort I could.

Richard made his way toward us. I watched as he jovially maneuvered from group to group, smiling, laughing, yet never lingering. Within a few minutes, he stood on the other side of Gabriel. He continued to smile, outwardly acting as though all was well. However, when he spoke, his voice held a low sense of urgency. “What’s the matter, Gabe?”

“That woman brought up Aunt Masterson,” Gabriel bit out, anger lacing his words.

“Ah, yes, the beloved stepmama, isn’t that correct, Miss Sullivan?” Richard teased. “I remember being shocked by her having tea with the vicious old bat a few weeks ago.”

Gabriel let out a sigh, and I could feel him relaxing. “She said Aunt Masterson took us in and raised us as her own,” he nearly growled in a low voice.

“Her own servants, perhaps,” Richard murmured. “Gabe, you’ve got to let it go. She’s the past, look to the future.” He and Gabriel shared an intense look. “You can’t keep letting the likes of her and Henry rile you.”

“Have you had any word from Jeremy?” I asked.

“Jeremy is in the army,” Richard said.

I nodded, expressing I already knew that information.

“We worry about his welfare and hope that he comes home soon, healthy and sound.”

“But no news,” Gabriel said in a soft voice.

“What will he do when he comes home?” I asked, thinking that they both had good professions by trade.

They looked at me confused and then shared a smile. Gabriel said, “Whatever he wants. He’s earned it.”

“What is he like?” I asked.

“A bit of a hellion, actually,” replied Richard. “You can’t deny that, Gabe!” Richard said with a laugh. “He was always getting into trouble. I wonder if the army has tamed him at all. Anyway, tall like us but with even darker hair and more greenish eyes. Not as much of a brooder as Gabe, more outgoing. Livelier. The best of us all, wouldn’t you say, Gabe?”

“Hmm, definitely. The most like Da.” Again Gabriel sounded wistful, but now there was a small smile playing around his mouth.

“How long has it been since you have seen him?” I asked.

“Three years,” Gabriel said. “Richard, we should take our leave now. It’s past time.”

Richard studied him for a few moments and then shrugged his shoulders, reluctantly agreeing. He turned toward me. “Miss Sullivan, it’s always a pleasure to see you. I hope to see you again in the near future.” He walked away to rejoin Colin, Patrick and Lucas for a few moments, shaking hands and taking his leave.

Gabriel turned to me, with bleak eyes. “Miss Clarissa.” He bowed formally and turned to leave.

Shock cascaded through me at his abrupt departure. I could not believe he would leave in such a way. He had not even kissed my hand! Frustration and the old doubts rose up in me, although I quickly tried to dampen them down. I hoped he would glance back toward me as I watched his retreating disappearance through the door, but to no avail. I stood at the side of the room, flummoxed.

CHAPTER 31

SAVANNAH’S WEDDING DAY DAWNED cloudy and gray. I peered out my window hoping to see a patch of blue, but it was a dismal, dark June morning. As I dressed and primped for the wedding, I fervently prayed the entire time that I would cause no mishaps during the ceremony or wedding breakfast. I donned my new pale green satin dress with tight-fitting bodice, flowing skirts and lace trim. I tilted a matching pale green hat at a jaunty angle and pulled on white elbow-length gloves.

When I arrived at the Russells’ home, less than an hour before the wedding, Aunt Matilda was in a state. I rushed to Savannah’s room, surprised to find her still in her nightclothes, sitting on the edge of her bed, staring vacantly ahead as though in a stupor.

“Sav,” I reproached, as I entered her room, closing the door behind me. “You must get dressed.
Now
.”

Savannah reached out to me, gripping my hand. “I refused to begin preparations until you arrived and I could speak with you. Mother is furious, but I don’t care.” Savannah spoke in a wavering tone, as though on the verge of tears. “Rissa, I don’t know if I can do this!”

“Getting dressed or actually marrying Jonas?” I asked.

“Marrying Jonas,” Savannah responded, swatting me gently with her hand. “I feel like I’ve rushed headlong into something without thinking it through fully. What if this is a mistake?” Savannah peered at me with imploring eyes.

“Sav, I think most brides feel this way on their wedding day.”

“You didn’t!”

“Savannah, this isn’t about me,” I said as I took another deep breath, crouching down to face her at eye level. “If you do not want to marry him, then don’t. Remember what I asked you last time? What do you want?” When there was no response, I asked again. “Savannah, what do you truly want?”

Savannah stared at me. “You don’t like Jonas. Why are you encouraging me to marry him?” She cocked her head to one side.

“I may not like him, but I do want my favorite cousin to be happy.” I smiled at her.

“Do you think he’ll make me happy?” Savannah implored.

“Sav, I can’t answer that. And anyway, why look to him for all of your happiness? Maybe you should start thinking about looking toward yourself…”

“No, none of your liberal teachings today,” Savannah interrupted. She breathed in deeply a few times, steadying herself. “Help me up. I need to get ready for the ceremony.” She met my worried gaze with a determined look in her eyes. “I am sure, Rissa. It’s all planned, everyone likes him. I know my parents wouldn’t encourage me to marry a bad man. In times of doubt, I should look to them for guidance, and they’ve been nothing but supportive. I must banish this sense of misgiving.” She took a few more deep breaths and then held out her hand to me. “Help me get ready?”

I smiled, nodding. In the end, we needed Polly’s help too, but I greatly enjoyed this last moment with Savannah before she married Jonas. I blinked away tears, knowing that our relationship would change irrevocably once she married him. I sighed, marveling at her in her wedding finery. The long-sleeved cream-colored silk damask with paisley pattern tapered at the waist before billowing out to wide skirts. Waxed orange blossom clusters adorned her left shoulder and waist. Silk and fabric bows decorated the hem, and the lace at her bodice highlighted her trim figure. The lace veil covered her beautiful blond hair done up in a graceful chignon, the veil reaching midback. Quite simply, the dress fit her to perfection.

“How do I look?” Savannah asked.

“Like a fairy princess,” I said, echoing what she had said to me on my near wedding day. We exchanged grins in the mirror.

“Thank heavens you are finally ready, Savannah. It wouldn’t do to keep the guests waiting too long, not after last time,” Aunt Matilda stated as she entered the room, with a pointed look in my direction. I paled at the reference to my canceled nuptials but shook aside any hurt.

“Oh, don’t you look a picture,” said Aunt Matilda. She paused with her hand over her heart to stare at Savannah.

We hurried downstairs. Uncle Martin watched Savannah descend the stairs, a deep emotion glinting in his eyes. He gently enfolded her in a hug and offered her his arm, to enter the carriages that would take us to the church. They left in the first carriage while I joined Lucas, Colin and Aunt Matilda in the second. Patrick, Aunt Betsy, Da and Mrs. Smythe would meet us at the church.

When we arrived at the church, Lucas and Colin helped Savannah down the steps of the coach. I fussed with her train, and then it was time to enter the church. The organist began to play, outdoing herself with beautiful music. As I sedately walked up the aisle toward the altar on Lucas’s elbow, I smiled serenely to the left and the right, not focusing on the invitees. I did beam at Da, Patrick and Aunt Betsy. Thankfully I did not see Grandpapa or Grandmama Thompson.

During the ceremony, Savannah appeared serene and composed, the perfect match for Jonas’s calm, expressionless profile. He wore a flawless black suit with white tie and waistcoat, and he held himself stiffly as he stood by Savannah at the altar. I had not noticed even a flicker of joy in his expression as he watched her walk up the aisle. By the end of the service, I had begun to congratulate myself for surviving Savannah’s wedding mishap free.

I stepped out behind Savannah and Jonas to follow them down the aisle, blithely reaching for Lucas’s arm. I missed the step down from the altar, and, the next thing I knew, I was in the air. I held on to Lucas’s arm with all my might, causing him to lose his balance and careen into me, bashing our heads together. I found myself in a twisted heap on the floor, tangled up with Lucas. Savannah glanced back at me with a horrified expression on her face. I saw her lips twitch as though she were trying not to laugh, while Jonas looked at the commotion I had caused and glared at me.