Banished Love (40 page)

I sighed, closing my eyes, envisioning what Colin said, knowing he was correct. I nodded, whispering, “Thanks for being home tonight.”

Colin gently squeezed my hand, and we sat silently for the rest of the evening.

CHAPTER 39

I FELT AS THOUGH I LIVED a waking nightmare. Every time I saw Gabriel, I tried to don a brave face, yet I feared that he was able to see through my brittle facade, to the sadness and despair lurking near the surface.

Due to Gabriel’s imminent departure, Da no longer barred Gabriel from my life. Most days we went on strolls during the late afternoon, and Gabriel visited me every evening. I knew that Gabriel spent time with me that he needed to settle his business affairs. Although I felt guilty about keeping him from his business, from his brother, Richard, and from planning his trip, it never stopped me from accepting an invitation. His youngest brother, Jeremy, remained in the Philippines, too ill to travel.

The day before his departure, Gabriel and I sat at the far end of the parlor, quietly talking. Da, Colin and Patrick sat at the opposite end, engrossed in the nightly papers. Occasionally they would discuss an article. However, they had all tacitly agreed to act like Gabriel and I were not in the room. Mrs. Smythe had remained upstairs with a headache.

“What time is your train tomorrow?” I whispered, holding his hand. I watched his face, trying to memorize every feature, every nuance of his expression.

“Ten sharp from South Station,” he whispered back, watching me just as intently, tracing patterns on my palm.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been to South Station,” I mused with a brave smile. “I shall be glad to go there to see you off.”

“Do you think that will be a good idea, Clarissa?” he asked. At my wide eyes and hurt expression, he said, “No, no, please hear me out.”

I nodded once in assent, blinking rapidly, trying to hold back tears.

“Clarissa, I know how hard this parting is going to be on me and can only imagine what you will feel. I do not want it to be worse than it is already. Do you want to go to South Station or are you agreeing only because you think it is expected of you?”

I sighed, and a few tears escaped. I blinked, attempting to forestall any more tears. I finally raised my eyes to his, meeting his frank gaze.

“Gabriel, the hardest thing I will have done in my life, other than bury my mama, will be to go to South Station and say good-bye to you. Yet I must go. I must be there and see you one more time.” I paused, gripping his hand tightly in mine. I refused to say
one last time
because I needed to believe I would see him again. “Not because it is expected of me, but because I want to go. Do you still want me there?”

“Yes, oh, yes, my Clarissa,” he replied. He pulled my hand to his lips and kissed my hand.

“Let us talk of lighter things, Gabriel,” I said.

“And what would you suggest?”

“I don’t know, but I was trying to change the topic from tomorrow.”

“Clarissa, promise me that you will take care of yourself,” Gabriel said, suddenly very serious.

I tilted my head, studying him. “I will, Gabriel. I promise,” I vowed.

“Take care with Mrs. Sullivan, and I fear that you have not seen the last of Cameron,” he said.

I nodded again my agreement.

He smiled gently, the smile that lit his eyes from within that he only used with me. He gently cupped my cheek in his hand and brushed away the track of my tears. “Ah, you wanted lighter thoughts, and all I could think of were more serious ones,” he said, mocking himself.

I smiled, feeling cherished. “I do not mind when you are showing concern for my welfare.” I leaned my cheek more fully into his palm, enjoying the embrace. He touched my cheek one more time, and then slowly lowered his hand.

“Clarissa, I have something for you,” he whispered. He glanced over at the other side of the room, ensuring that we still maintained some privacy.

“Gabriel, you didn’t have to bring me anything,” I murmured.

“I know, but I wanted to give you something to remember me by,” he replied, removing a small box from his coat pocket. “And I realize I never gave you anything for your birthday.” He handed the box to me, watching me with his fathomless blue eyes.

My heartbeat quickened as I slowly opened the box. Inside there was an interwoven silver chain with a locket. “Gabriel, it’s lovely.”

“Well, I don’t know as it’s lovely. I do know it’s simple. Will you wear it and think of me?” he asked.

“Of course,” I whispered. “I just wish I could put in on now.” I opened the locket to find it empty. “And I wish there was a picture of you here.”

“I didn’t want to…”

“Gabriel, I want to place your picture in the locket. Do you have a picture for me?”

“In the bottom of the box. I brought one in case,” he said with a fleeting smile as he caressed my cheek again. “Keep my locket next to your heart, Clarissa, as that is where you are for me.”

I nodded as I carefully placed the cover back on the box. Gabriel glanced at the clock and squeezed my hand.

“I must go, Clarissa. I should spend some time this evening with Richard.” He stood, kissing my hand one last time. “Good night, my darling. I will see you tomorrow at the station.” He smiled at me, studied me for a moment as though to remember me, and then turned to leave. He paused to say good-bye to my brothers and Da, and then was gone.

I felt a tremendous ache at the thought of him never walking through the door again. Never hearing him call out irreverent advice to Colin in the midst of a cribbage match. Never holding his hand. I sat morosely in the corner of the room, dreading the coming day.

CHAPTER 40

I HAD HOPED the day of Gabriel’s leaving would dawn overcast and gray, like my mood. However, it was a brilliantly sunny summer day with a cool breeze blowing in off the ocean. I wondered how the world could appear so perfect when I felt so desolate.

Colin had agreed to go with me, and I hoped he would be able to cheer me as the time for Gabriel’s departure neared. The short streetcar ride to South Station prevented me from thinking too much about the impending separation. I attempted to focus on the people we passed outside, the storefronts, the lovely day, anything but what I felt. Colin sat silent next to me.

We arrived at South Station a few minutes before we were to meet Gabriel. I glanced up, marveling at the three arched entranceways placed at an angle of Sumner and Atlantic Avenues. The white pillars above the archways led to a large clock with an eagle spreading its wings. I paused, taking in the grandeur and the elegance of the building. We were jostled a few times as travelers hurried past, rushing to their trains.

I gripped Colin’s arm, attempting to maintain my composure and entered the main waiting room. I paused again, looking with awe at the coffered ceilings and the marble floors.

“Col, I don’t remember it being this big. What if we can’t find him?” I asked as I glanced into one of many oak alcoves. “What if he has to depart without saying good-bye?”

“You said by the flower merchant,” Colin murmured, guiding me in that direction.

I scanned the passing multitudes, hoping to glimpse two tall, broad-shouldered, black haired McLeod men. We approached the flower sellers, with still no sight of Gabriel. I clutched Colin’s arm tighter with my anxiety, causing him to grunt with pain.

“Clarissa,” Gabriel breathed deeply into my ear from behind. I twirled around, feeling a wave of emotion wash over me at the sight of him. I studied him for a moment. His black hair was freshly cut and casually styled, he was clean shaven, and he wore his best suit. I let go of Colin’s arm and reached out to Gabriel.

“Gabriel,” I whispered, incapable of speaking in a stronger voice.

He smiled at me with sad eyes. Two fingers gently traced my cheek and jaw before coming to rest on my upper arm. “You came,” he said.

“I told you I would,” I said, echoing words he had said to me recently. I attempted a brave smile, wanting him to feel joy as he started on his journey. “When does your train depart?”

“In about fifteen minutes. Richard’s with my trunks. I need to make sure I don’t lose them,” he said, glancing over his shoulder as though trying to see Richard.

“Let’s find Richard,” I said, pulling his arm in the direction he had looked. I glanced at Colin to see him following us. We darted between rushing men and strolling women, evading the crowds with ease. I felt as though we were in our own cocoon sheltered from the outside world.

We approached Richard, who nervously eyed the clock. He attempted a smile, but no joy reached his icy-blue eyes. We ensured the trunks were checked to Chicago and then stood around with very little to say.

I watched as Gabriel turned toward the large clock, sharing a look with Richard.

“I should make my way to the train,” Gabriel said, the steam engine puffing and hissing. Sunlight glinting off the sparkling windows prevented me from seeing the interior of the train. The end of each car had a small balcony, with steps leading down to the platform. A conductor stood at the base of the steps, checking tickets as riders boarded.

As we approached his train car, Colin and Richard fell back a few paces to give us a moment alone. Gabriel looked at me intently, taking in every aspect of my appearance. I closed my eyes as he tucked a piece of hair behind my left ear, tracing my ear and earring. I opened my eyes, unable to hide my misery at his leaving.

“Clarissa, love,” he breathed, saying no more. I nodded, knowing there was no more to say. “You have my locket?”

I smiled, touching my chest. He covered my hand, leaned down, touching his forehead to mine.

“Never doubt, we will be together again, Clarissa,” he whispered.

“All aboard.”

I jerked back, eyes widening to realize the moment of separation had arrived. We stared into each other’s eyes for a fleeting second and then everything seemed to occur in double time.

Richard rushed forward, pulled Gabriel in a hard embrace before propelling him toward the train. Gabriel stood near the train’s steps, allowing others to pass as Richard spoke in his ear, one arm slung over his shoulder. I realized again how close they were and appreciated that this separation would be extremely difficult for both of them.

I stood still, trying to maintain my composure, gasping for breath as I watched Gabriel move farther from me.

As the whistle sounded, Gabriel’s head jerked up, meeting my eyes. I saw a reflection of my own anguish mirrored there in his azure eyes. He rushed toward me, grasped my cheeks gently in his large hands and kissed me.

“Until the next station meeting, my Clarissa,” he whispered. Then he was gone, rushing up the train stairs and out of view. The train slowly heaved into motion, taking him away.

End of Book One

Author’s Notes

Thank you for reading
Banished Love
. Never fear, dear reader, the second book in the series,
Reclaimed Love
, will soon be forthcoming with the next installment of Clarissa and Gabriel’s story. I hope you will continue to join me on their journey.

Would you like to know when my next book is available? You can sign up for my new release e-mail list, where you’ll be the first to know of updates and special giveaways at
http://www.ramonaflightner.com

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Banished Love
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Look for
Reclaimed Love
, Book Two in the Banished Saga, in Fall 2014.

BOOK EXTRAS

Cast of Characters from BANISHED LOVE

Clarissa Sullivan
: teaches school in the West End of Boston, a suffragette, clumsy, lives in the South End, 

Colin Sullivan
: Clarissa’s brother, a blacksmith

Patrick Sullivan
: Clarissa’s eldest brother

Sean Sullivan
: Clarissa’s father, a blacksmith, from Ireland

Mrs. Rebecca Sullivan nee Smythe
: Clarissa’s stepmother, has social aspirations

Agnes Sullivan nee Thompson
: Clarissa’s mother, deceased

Savannah Russell
: Clarissa’s cousin and confidante, soon to be married to Jonas Montgomery, lives in the South End near Clarissa

Lucas Russell
: Clarissa’s cousin, works at his father’s linen store, “Russells,” is a talented piano player

Martin Russell
: father to Lucas and Savannah, uncle to Clarissa, owns and runs the linen store, “Russells,” store and home in the South End, near the Sullivan home

Matilda Russell nee Thompson
: Savannah’s mother and Clarissa’s aunt, sister to Agnes and Betsy

Betsy Parker nee Thompson
: childless, lives in Quincy, married to a wealthy man, free-thinking, cryptic comments, Matilda and Agnes’ sister, Clarissa and Savannah’s aunt.

Gabriel McLeod
: the eldest McLeod brother, a cabinetmaker, lives in North End, fascinated by Clarissa

Richard McLeod
: Gabriel’s middle brother, a blacksmith, friend to Colin

Jeremy McLeod
: the youngest McLeod brother, in the Army, fighting in the Philippines

Aidan McLeod
: uncle to the three McLeod boys

Ian McLeod
: father to the three McLeod boys

Geraldine McLeod nee Sanders
: wife to Ian and mother to the McLeod boys

Patricia Masterson nee Sanders
: sister to Geraldine, aunt to the McLeod boys, helped raise them. 

Henry Masterson
: cousin to the McLeod boys

Nicholas Masterson
: cousin to the McLeod boys