Bar Girl (23 page)

Siswan pulled her thoughts back to Mike and Apple. This was what was important. The feelings inside her, the emotions, were nothing compared to her dream. Mike was speaking.

‘You know, it’s a close thing,’ he told them. ‘I’d better go over the figures again, just to be sure.’

‘Don’t you dare,’ Siswan told him.

‘We both love you, Mike,’ Apple told him. ‘But if you keep us waiting another second, I swear, we’ll kill you.’

‘Alright, alright.’ Mike laughed. ‘Siswan, this month Swan’s Bar turned over a total of one million, eight hundred and twenty six thousand, four hundred and ten. Not bad, not bad at all.’

Mike paused. Took a drink from his glass of orange juice. Slowly pulled the paperwork from Mike’s Bar towards him.

‘Mike. I swear,’ Apple warned him.

Mike looked at both Siswan and Apple. Two lovely looking girls. Siswan’s almost perfect beauty. Apple’s radiant cheekiness. He thought of them both as his daughters now. He couldn’t help but smile at the concerned expressions on their faces. Both of them determined to win, both of them equally worried that the other would have to lose.

‘Okay, well here we go then,’ he said to them, as he pored back over the paperwork. ‘Apple, this bar turned over a total of one million, eight hundred and twenty four thousand, eight hundred and eighty two.’

He smiled at them both. Saw the slight look of relief on both of their faces.

‘A difference of one thousand, five hundred and twenty eight. Sorry Apple,’ he said.

‘Wow, that was close,’ Apple said. ‘We almost beat you, Miss Siswan.’

‘Yes. Very close.’ Siswan smiled back.

She was thinking that it was a little too close. What would have happened if Apple had won? Would she have lost face in the sight of all the girls? She didn’t know. Glad that she didn’t have to find out.

‘So. When do you want to go shopping?’ Apple asked her.

‘Oh, I didn’t mean it, Apple,’ she said.

‘If I’d have won, would you have insisted on buying the outfit?’ Apple asked her.

‘Yes. You’re quite right. I’m sorry,’ Siswan told her.

Apple had grown up completely. Had the girl won, Siswan would have insisted on keeping to the bet. In fact, Apple was exceeding her expectations. She really had expected Mike’s bar to flounder a little. As it was, it had beaten the previous months’ turnover quite considerably.

‘Tomorrow morning?’ she asked Apple.

‘Great. Meet you here at eleven?’

‘That’ll be good. Want to come, Mike?’ Siswan asked him.

‘Oh, yeah. Sure. Now what makes you think I’d enjoy shopping with two women? I don’t like shopping with one. I don’t even like shopping.’ He laughed, in response.

‘But you are going to the spa, aren’t you?’ Apple asked.

‘No, keep it as an all girl day. You don’t want an old man there, ogling all you sexy girls,’ he said, laughing.

‘Well, if it’s okay with you, Mike, I think both bars did really well so I think all the girls should go, don’t you?’ Siswan asked him.

‘Funny, I was going to suggest the very same thing,’ he said. ‘Take Rican with you as well, eh? She’d enjoy that.’

‘What about the bars? Who’s going to open them?’ Apple put in.

‘I don’t think it would hurt if we open late. What do you think, Mike?’ Siswan turned to him.

‘What are you both looking at me for? You two run the bloody places, you sort it out,’ he joked.

In the end it was agreed that they would put up notices in both bars saying that the following Monday was a staff training day and that the bars wouldn’t open until nine in the evening.

‘So, I’ll arrange the spa for next Monday. We’ll all meet up here at twelve. That’ll give the girls enough sleep,’ Siswan told Apple. ‘What are we going to have? Mud packs? Body scrubs? Herbal baths?’

‘Oh my god, worse than bloody shopping.’ Mike laughed, and left them to their feminine discussions.

‘You know where he’s going, don’t you?’ Apple asked, as soon as Mike had slipped out of the main doors.

‘No. Where?’ Siswan was curious.

‘To go and get Rican. He hardly ever lets her get a bus or taxi anymore. And never lets her go home alone at night,’ Apple told her.

‘Well, I knew there was something going on, I just didn’t know it was that serious,’ Siswan said.

‘Oh, yes,’ Apple said. ‘It’s serious alright. Don’t be surprised if you’re invited to a wedding any day soon.’

‘Really? That serious?’ Siswan was shocked.

‘Yes. Why do you think Mike spends so much time in this bar and not the other one?’

Siswan felt a little out of touch. She had been spending so much time working in Swan’s bar, spending so much time with Mirak, that she had lost track of what was going on. She didn’t like the feeling. Didn’t like the fact that things were happening that she didn’t know about. She needed to concentrate on what was important.

*****

Apple and Siswan spent a great time in the local shopping mall choosing a new outfit for Siswan. In the end she selected a cream and light blue blouse and a pair of casual, but well tailored, trousers. Apple had insisted on new shoes and a handbag to complete the outfit.

All the girls enjoyed the visit to the spa the following Monday. They had the choice of herbal or aqua spa therapies. Most went for the aqua spa. It just seemed more fun. When they returned to their respective bars that evening, they all looked fresh, young and healthy.

There were so many girls trying to find work with both bars now that Apple and Siswan were constantly inundated with requests. Siswan was horrified to learn that girls as young as fourteen were trying to apply.

She had been the same age herself when she first approached a bar but, unlike her, most of the young girls that applied were willing to go with farangs. Some already had. They were willing to do anything in order to make money. Money to send home to their family. It made Siswan more determined than ever to concentrate on fulfilling her promise to Sood.

Mirak had contacted her several times and each time she made an excuse not to see him. Her feelings for him were still the same. She wanted to be with him. Wanted to walk along the beach with him, listen to his stories, sit and drink coffee with him. She wanted all those things. The problem was that she knew he wanted more.

She knew she would never be able to have that kind of relationship with him. Perhaps not with any man. She felt guilty that she, in some ways, had led him on. She hadn’t known she would react so badly to his embrace. Hadn’t known that she would feel revulsion when her body yearned for his touch. It was as though her own mind could not comprehend the cravings within herself.

She wanted him. Wanted him to hold her, to touch her, to feel his caress and yet, at the same time, she could only feel disgust. Disgust at the thought of being touched, being held. Disgust at the thought of touching him, giving him pleasure.

The only way she could handle the mixture of emotions was not to see him. To get him out of her head, out of her heart. She had to focus on work. Concentrate on the business in hand. She didn’t need him. She didn’t want him. She knew she could manage without seeing him. Knew that the feelings for him would diminish in time.

She threw herself into her work secure in the knowledge that, over time, she would stop thinking about him. Stop wanting to call him. She knew all these things. She also knew that she was lying to herself.

Her mind was in turmoil. One minute she would be able to shut him out of her thoughts, the next he would be the only thing she could think about. She had no idea what to do.

It was Mike who finally broached the subject with her. They were sat in their normal position at the bar after a particularly busy night. The bars were doing well. Apple and the rest of the girls were doing well. Mike was doing well.

Even Rican was having a good time. It was only Siswan who seemed to be spending most of her time in a perpetual daze.

‘Want to talk about it?’ Mike asked her, when they had finished going over the accounts.

‘Talk about what?’ she said, looking at him.

He didn’t say anything. Just sat there and looked back at her. There was a look on his face. Not an unkind, or a I know it all look. Just a look of concern.

‘It’s Mirak,’ she sighed. ‘No, it’s not him, it’s me.’

Again he didn’t say anything. Just waited to see if she wanted to explain or not. He was beginning to understand her a little.

‘I don’t know what I want,’ she said, quietly. ‘I want him, want to be with him, then I don’t. I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.’

‘Sometimes relationships are very difficult,’ Mike said.

‘Why? Why do they have to be so difficult?’ she asked him. ‘You and I get on so well.’

‘We are friends, Siswan. More than friends, in fact,’ he told her.

‘Why can’t I have that with Mirak?’

‘Because he wants a relationship that includes sex?’ he asked her, guessing.

‘Why does it have to come down to that? We were having a good time.’

‘Sex is a part of the relationship between lovers, Siswan. Giving and receiving pleasure with someone you love is just about as good as it gets,’ Mike said, with a smile.

‘What if one partner hates it? Doesn’t need it?’ she asked him.

‘Then, unless you are both happy with just friendship, the relationship usually ends.’

‘Friendship is better, Mike. Don’t you think so?’

‘Yes, as a matter of fact I do,’ he said, with a genuine laugh. ‘When I first saw you I thought about being thirty years younger. If I was, then I’d have tried it on with you.’

‘Really?’ She looked at him.

‘Yeah, really. You’re gorgeous. But you laid down the rules, and I’m not thirty years younger, so our relationship has developed along a different path,’ he said.

‘What about Rican?’ she asked him.

‘Ah, well that’s different. She didn’t lay down any rules and I could get away with being only ten, maybe fifteen, years younger,’ he said and laughed.

‘So, you have sex with her then?’ Siswan was curious.

‘Yes, of course. I may be old but I’m not past it yet, you know,’ Mike told her.

‘But does she enjoy it?’ Siswan wanted to know.

‘This is only between you and me, right? She’d kill me if she found out I’d spoken about our sex life.’ Mike looked at her.

‘Yes, of course. I’d never let you down,’ Siswan said.

Mike looked at her again. No, he thought, I don’t think you would.

‘Well, there are times when I have to say I have a headache,’ he said, with a wink.

‘Why?’ she asked.

‘Bloody hell, Siswan. You don’t know much do you? Okay, sometimes she wants it more than I do. Sometimes I have to pretend to be sick, or have a headache, so that she’ll leave me alone,’ he told her in a whisper.

‘You mean she wants sex more often than you do?’ Siswan asked, in a normal tone of voice.

‘Yes!’ Mike whispered. ‘Keep your voice down!’

‘There’s only you and I here, Mike. You took Rican home three hours ago,’ she told him.

‘Yes, I know,’ he looked around, dramatically. ‘But walls have ears, you know.’

‘Walls have ears?’ Siswan looked at him strangely.

‘You never know who’s listening. That’s what I’m saying,’ Mike told her.

‘Yes, you do, Mike. I am. I’m the only one listening to you.’ Siswan started to laugh.

‘Oh yes. You say that now. But what if Rican finds out? Then what, eh?’

‘Then I guess you’re in serious trouble, Mike.’ Siswan laughed with him.

‘Yeah, and it’ll all be my fault, as well,’ he laughed. ‘The farang is always to blame out here.’

Siswan felt much better. Talking and joking with Mike had put a different perspective on her problems. Suddenly she felt like hugging the old farang.

‘Hey, hey. What’s this then?’ Mike said, as she cuddled into him and lay her head on his shoulder. ‘Where’s my tough, ruthless bar girl gone?’

Mike put his arm around her shoulders and held her close. Neither of them said anything for what seemed an age. They just held one another. Like father and daughter.

‘I love you, Papa,’ she told him, finally.

‘I know, Siswan,’ he said. ‘I love you, too.’

Finally, she lifted her head from his shoulder and he slowly dropped his arm. She smiled at him. Her eyes glistened, wet with tears she wouldn’t allow to fall. She brushed at them with the back of her hand. Sniffed loudly.

‘I’d best be going,’ she told him.

‘Me too. Rican will wonder what I’m up to,’ he laughed.

They walked to the doors together. Switched off the lights and locked up. She turned to him before he could walk away. Gave him a long, respectful wai. He gave an even more respectful one in return.

‘Good night, Siswan,’ he said to her.

‘Good night, Mike. Thank you,’ she replied, and turned away.

He watched as she strolled down to the motorbike taxis. She was a beautiful woman. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen. But, underneath, she was like a little girl. He smiled to himself, shook his head slowly, and wandered off in the opposite direction.

When Siswan arrived back at her apartment block, Mirak was sat on the steps outside waiting for her.

‘I didn’t want to come to the bar,’ he told her. ‘That may have been too embarrassing for both of us.’

His voice was slightly slurred. She could tell he’d been drinking. Maybe to summon up the courage to face her.

‘You kept making excuses not to see me,’ he said, standing.

‘I know. I’m sorry, Mirak,’ she told him.

‘I don’t understand any of this, Siswan.’

‘No. Neither do I,’ she said, honestly.

A part of her wanted to rush into his arms. To help him. To be with him and feel his touch on her body. Another part of her felt nothing but revulsion at the idea.

‘Maybe we could talk about it? Try and find a solution?’ he suggested.

She didn’t want to continue the conversation outside on the steps. Didn’t want to continue the conversation at all. She had to give him something. Some way of understanding. An explanation.

‘Let’s go inside,’ she said. ‘We can talk.’

She led him up to the third floor and into her small room. She switched on the light and the overhead fan. Dropped her handbag on the bed.

‘Would you like a coffee?’ she asked him.

‘No. I could do with another drink, though,’ he said.

‘I don’t have any. Only water.’