Barbarian's Touch: A SciFi Alien Romance (Ice Planet Barbarians Book 8) (12 page)

* * *

I
make
Li-lah rest all afternoon and throughout the evening. There is a cache nearby and I raid it for a small kill - a frozen hopper - before throwing a layer of snow atop it and returning the marker. I keep the fire stoked and make a stew for my mate, and she teaches me more hand-talk. There are so many words it makes my head dizzy, but I do my best to learn them all. I have so much to say to her.

We practice more kissing, too. There is more tongue, more sighs, and my cock is so stiff and aches so badly I feel it will snap off. But Li-lah seems content with kissing and hugging, and so I will be, too. She falls asleep in my arms and I remain there for hours, afraid to leave and lose the moment.

Morning comes too early. I am pleased that Li-lah’s bruise has faded from her cheek. My own aches have lessened, as well, my khui hard at work. Li-lah yawns and burrows back under the covers as I clean up our cave. We must meet Hassen today. He will be waiting, and he needs to know he should return home.

He will also need to tell the others that Li-lah and I are safe, but we are not going home yet. We must go to the Elders’ Cave, so I can learn her words. And I am not sending her back with him. She stays with me. I have not told her yet, but I think she will want this, too.

As if my thoughts have summoned her, Li-lah peers over my shoulder, pressing her cheek to my arm. She yawns and watches me tie the pack closed. “I need one of those.” When I look over at her, she clarifies. “A pack. A survival kit. I want to learn how to take care of myself in case anything should happen to you.”

I rock back on my heels, shaken by this thought. She is right. What if something should happen to me while we are traveling? She will be helpless and alone, and unable to hear the creatures that could hunt her. I nod quickly and make sure that one of the two knives I have left are for her. Tonight, when we rest, I will make her a bag of her own supplies. After we visit the Elders’ Cave and we can talk in more than a few short sentences, I will teach her how to hunt and how to build fire. She is smart and will learn quickly.

And it will give me an excuse to keep her to myself for just a little longer.

We eat a cold meal, drink a bit of meltwater, and then I finish packing up the cave while Li-lah puts on her many layers of fur. My outer furs are filthy and I pack them in my bag for cleaning when we set up camp again. The day looks to be sunny and warm enough that I will not need them. Then, we strap on Li-lah’s snowshoes and go, hand in hand, out in the snow once more, our waists tethered together. I pull her a little closer and stay mindful of the skies, in case more sky-claws emerge.

But the weather is warm, the suns bright, and the sky-claws are nowhere in sight.

By mid-morning, I see Hassen’s tracks in the snow. His trail goes down into the next valley, heading south toward the tribal cave. I tap Li-lah’s arm and point the tracks out to her.

“My buddy?” she asks in a dry voice.

No
, I sign, confused.
Hassan.
Does she worry someone else is out here?

But she only gives an amused little snort and holds onto my arm a little tighter.

We round a curve and there, in the distance, is a hunter in furs with two spears strapped to his back. I recognize the stance and call out to him, raising an arm. “Ho!”

He turns and raises a hand halfway before pausing. I can tell the moment he sees Li-lah next to me, because he lowers his head and races toward us, plowing through the snow like a charging dvisti buck. There is a look of joy on his face as he nears, and it fades as he approaches and sees Li-lah’s hand on my arm.

“You found her,” he says, steps slowing as he approaches. “She is unharmed?”

“Unharmed and well,” I agree. His gaze devours her, and I ignore the stab of possessiveness I feel. She is mine. He cannot take her from me this time.

Li-lah scoots closer to me, her grip tightening. I pat her gloved hand to comfort her, and my khui immediately grows louder, the song reverberating through my chest and joined by hers a moment later.

Hassen’s expression turns to one of devastation. His shoulders slump as he looks from Li-lah to me. “Resonance,” he says, and there is much heaviness in his voice. “You are lucky, my friend.”

I nod. There is no point in berating him. He is defeated. I have what he wants more than anything. He turns away, his back to us, and I feel a pang of sorrow for my friend and tribesmate. To want something so badly, only to have it slip out of your grasp, it is difficult. “It will happen for you someday,” I tell him, and I feel a little echo in my chest that tells me my knowing is confirming this. “There is Mah-dee, and Farli will be of age soon. Perhaps—”

“Mah-dee hates me. And Farli is like a little sister. Who is left? Esha? She is but four turns of the season old. One of the new kits? Perhaps I will be an old, withered elder before my female’s breast resonates to me.” He snorts. “It will be that long before Vektal forgives me for betraying the tribe rules. I shall be a lonely old male with no one but Bek and Warrek to understand my sorrow.”

I ignore his bitter words. “It will be sooner. Do not give up hope.”

He sighs heavily, staring off into the distance even as Li-lah gives me a concerned look. She cannot hear our conversation, and I feel guilty that we talk around her.

He rubs his face, and his tail flicks angrily in the snow before he stands. “All I have ever wanted is a mate and family. I thought for sure…” He shakes his head and then puts a hand on my shoulder, the one opposite of Li-lah. “If I am not her mate, I am glad it is you, my friend. You are a good male and a good hunter. You will make her happy.” He looks over at Li-lah. “She hated every moment with me, you know. She would not speak.”

“She speaks with her hands,” I tell him, and make a few of the gestures that Li-lah has shown me.
Water. Good. Yes.
“It is not fair to talk when she cannot hear the words, so we must make the words with our hands.”

Li-lah looks between me and Hassen, a frown on her face as she tries to decipher our conversation. She begins to pull off her gloves but I stop her. I will explain more later. For now, I must send Hassen on his way. “Because she has hand-speak, I must learn her words to talk to her. She does not understand resonance.”

Hassan gives me an incredulous look. “Not understand resonance?”

“It is true. She knows her breast sings but does not understand.”

He crosses his arms over his chest. “Take her to your furs and show her, then.”

I ignore the flash of anger that moves through me at his words. “When you have a mate, you will understand why I will not do that.”

He flinches. “Your words are not kind.”

“Neither are yours.” I step protectively in front of my mate. “I know my female. I know what is best for her, not you. And I am going to take her to the Elders’ Cave so I may learn her hand-speak and talk to her.”

Hassan nods slowly, though the look on his face is hard. This is a day of many disappointments for him. “So you will leave me to return to the tribe, alone, and tell them of my shame?”

“The only shame is your own. Li-lah did not resonate to you. There is no shame in that. And you knew that stealing her would have consequences.”

“I just hoped,” he sighs and looks at her again. “I was so sure. I thought if I got her alone with me, her khui would sing to mine. It felt like she was the one.”

I do not argue. I know that feeling. But standing here with Li-lah at my side, I know he is wrong. She is mine. “Tell them we will return home once resonance is satisfied and I have learned Li-lah’s hand talk. We will be back before the brutal season.”

“So long?” He looks surprised. “That is at least a full cycle of the moons, maybe two.”

“I will teach her how to take care of herself,” I tell him. “She wants to learn how to make fire, to cook, to hunt. It will take time to teach her these things, and the Elders’ Cave cannot do so.” I do not tell him that I want to give Li-lah as much time as possible to come to grips with the fact that I am her mate.

It is obvious from her time with Hassen - and the frustrated look she is giving me now - that she does not like to be surprised.

He rubs his chin, and then nods. “It is an easy trail back to the tribal cave from here, once we are out of metlak and sky-claw territory. Are you well-prepared?”

“I need a spear, and knives,” I tell him. “And trail rations if you have extra.”

He nods and reaches behind him, pulling his heavy spears free from his pack, then hands them both to me. “I have my sling and extra knives. Take what you need.”

“Thank you, my friend.”

Hassan looks over at Li-lah, then at me. “Her sister, the angry one. She will not be pleased to see me come back alone.”

“She will have to wait.” I set my pack down next to Hassen’s so we can share goods.

“Are you guys finished bro-ing down so someone can tell me what’s going on?” Li-lah says, crossing her arms. “Because this crap is getting really old.”

Hassan grunts. “You talk to your mate. I will go through the supplies.”

I walk away to talk to Li-lah, and as I do, I hear him mutter something under his breath about Mah-dee being not the only ‘angry’ one.

I
watch
Hassen leave and feel a little bit of trepidation. The plan has changed, and I’m not entirely sure I know what’s going on. The guys talked for a while, and Hassen’s kept a respectful distance, which I appreciate. In fact, it almost feels like he’s not interested in me at all, which is a real turnabout from before. Then, they swapped gear, and Rokan tried to explain with his hands what was going on.

Two different journeys, he explained to me. Which, okay, obvious considering that Hassen is now walking away without his spears and Rokan is gesturing in a completely different direction for us. I didn’t understand the rest of what he was trying to tell me, and I think Rokan’s as frustrated over that as I am. So when he gestured off into the snow covered hills again instead of in the direction that Hassen is heading, I plant my feet. “What’s going on?” I ask, and sign the words at the same time. I know he won’t be able to keep up, but I’m frustrated with everyone talking around me. “I thought the plan was that we get together with Hassen and then go home. Your home, not my home.”

I’m trying not to think about my home or the fact that I’ll never see it again. That life completely changed in the blink of an eye, leaving me helpless and unable to hear once more. That I’m stranded on an ice planet with no one but my sister, and even she’s far away. If I think about all that, I’ll start crying and I might never stop. Right now I’m just doing my best to roll with the punches.

Rokan gestures at Hassen’s disappearing form, then at me. He thinks for a moment, makes the
travel
sign with his hands, then points at the rolling hills before us. Then does the
fire
sign, then
sleep
.

“I have no idea what that means,” I tell him, frustrated.

He does it again, and adds in a sign for
speak
, and then points at himself.

“Still not getting it.”

Rokan gestures at himself again, points at me, signs
speak
, and then points at himself and then in the direction he wants to head.

He wants to talk to me, but only in that direction? I don’t understand what’s changed, unless…

Is it because he’s my alien boyfriend now? Does this have something to do with courting? Is that why we’re not going with Hassen? I mean, I don’t like Hassen, but I’m also pretty sure Rokan told me my sister was in that direction, and not the one he wants to lead me. “I really wish we could communicate.”

Rokan gets excited at my words, nodding and gesturing. He takes my bare hand in his and puts it to his mouth, then starts to speak. He wants me to understand his words, but at his touch, a fiery bolt of sensation rushes through me and I gasp. The purring goes up a notch and my entire body tingles in response. He reacts the same, his eyes getting that sleepy-lust look that I saw last night after we’d started kissing.

Then, he gives himself a small shake and focuses. He taps the hand on his mouth, and then says something. He wants me to read his lips.
Okay, Lila, focus.

I ignore the flash of fangs and concentrate on how he’s moving his lips and tongue. The aliens slur a lot of human words, so I have to concentrate that much more. It’s distracting, though, because the first word he keeps saying makes his tongue press against the backs of my fingers, sending tingles all through me again. He repeats it, and I start to sound out the word. “Luh…lord…love?” A sweet tingle rushes through me. “Love?”

He shakes his head.

Oh. I shouldn’t be disappointed in that. I mean, we just started ‘dating’ or whatever it is blue ice-people do. It’s a bit early to be throwing around the ‘l-word’ but it doesn’t mean I’m not stupidly sad that I misread things.

I concentrate again. “Lord…lord…lorn, no, wait. Learn?”

He nods excitedly, makes the
talk
hand-sign, and then gestures in that direction.

“Learn to talk? There?” I gaze out in the snow but I don’t see anything there except more snow.

But Rokan grins, looking so pleased with himself, and repeats the words, then gestures at himself, then at me.

“Oh. You want to learn to talk to me?”

His quick nod of affirmation makes my nipples hard and warm pleasure rushes through me. “Really? We can learn to talk better if we go there?” When he nods again, I look back where sHassen is disappearing, then back at Rokan. “But what about my sister?”

Rokan’s eager expression falls and he grows solemn. He points at Hassen, then picks up his bag and looks at me.

He wants me to choose. One direction will take me back to my sister. The other direction will somehow magically enable me to talk to Rokan in a way that he’s excited about.

I’m torn. Duty tells me I should go back to Maddie. She’s probably worried sick about me, imagining her fragile little sister out here with the big bad aliens. And really, she has every right to be. She’s always looked after me, stood up for me when no one else would, and fought a lot of my battles for me.

But then there’s Rokan. Rokan, who makes me feel turned on and alive, who will teach me how to take care of myself. Who is excited about the thought of being able to really talk to me. Like that’s a special gift.

Really, it’s the communication thing that makes me point to the hills, not to Hassen. Because if we go back to the tribe cave, no one can talk to me but Maddie and maybe the humans, provided I can read their lips. But if there’s a way to get around the language barrier, I want to go for it.

And possibly spend a bit more alone-time with my alien boyfriend. Is it weird to pick him over my sister? I wonder if I’m not thinking straight.

But then he puts his hand out for mine, a smile on his handsome blue face, and I feel a giddy surge in my breast as I start purring again. Maybe it’s wrong, but it feels pretty right, at the moment.

* * *

R
okan is visibly less
tense by early afternoon. When I ask him why, he points at the sky and indicates that there will be no more giant people-eating birds. That’s a brownie point as far as I’m concerned. The tether is untied, and Rokan lashes both spears to his pack instead of carrying one.

The rest of the day is almost pleasant, if it weren’t for the fact that it’s bitterly cold and there’s deep snow as far as the eye can see. By the time Rokan finds our next cave to stop at, my face feels chapped and my feet throb all the way up to my knees from all the hiking with the snowshoes. I rest, exhausted, on the only stool in the cave while Rokan builds a fire. Tomorrow, I’m going to watch him and learn how, I promise myself. Tomorrow sounds like a good day for that. I’m so tired that my eyes start closing before food is even ready. At some point, I must nod off, because when I wake up, I’m curled up in the furs by myself. I go back to sleep, too tired to even wake up for dinner.

I wake up several hours later with my arm draped over a warm male chest, my bare toes pressed against a warm, velvety leg. My breast is rumbling with the usual Rokan-related purr, and I sleepily slide my fingers over the center of his chest to check if he’s doing the same.

He is. His hand covers mine the moment I move, and I’m filled with an affectionate warmth and, okay, that same aroused feeling I’ve been carrying around for days now. I stroke my fingers lightly over his chest, my head resting in the crook of his arm.

Rokan lifts a hand and taps my breast, then gestures toward his mouth in the fire-lit shadows.
Eat?
His eyes glow a soft blue in the low light.

I am hungry, but I’m also warm and snuggled up against the world’s biggest, most-delectable alien. So I don’t exactly feel like moving. I shift against him, and one of my thighs is draped over his leg. I have to fight the insane urge to start rubbing up against that rock-hard muscle, because once I start? I don’t know that I’ll be able to stop. For now, I just want to touch him. My hand slides over his breast again, feeling our linked purrs.

And then I remember I forgot to ask him if he was married.

I jolt upright.

He sits upright, eyes wild, and reaches beside the bed, pulling out a knife. His body goes on alert and he tenses, looking around the cave for danger, and then back at me with a confused expression.
Okay
? He gestures.

Whoops. I nod and pat his chest again, trying to calm him. I’m not in trouble or anything, just worried I’m creeping on some other alien lady’s guy.

Rokan relaxes, glancing around one last time before setting the knife aside and then rubbing his ridged forehead, his expression saying
don’t ever scare me like that again
even if the words aren’t spoken aloud.

It’s kind of cute to see his worry. “As long as you guys don’t have snakes, I think we’re good.” I slide back toward him, tucking my legs under me. “I should be safe with you anyhow, right?”

He takes my hand and pulls it to his mouth, kissing my knuckles.

Well, dang. My panties aren’t safe with him around, that’s for sure. Not that I’ve had any since waking up on the ice planet. I’ve been going commando under his long tunic and leggings for the last few days, and while it’s definitely rather bare feeling, it also makes me hyper-aware of just how much being around Rokan turns me on. Right now, we’re seated facing each other, and I realize that this is the first night I’ve slept fully dressed while around him.

I kind of wish I wasn’t. I also wish I was brave enough to boldly shuck my pants, but I’m not. Instead, I just sit there, like a dummy, while he brushes his mouth over my knuckles.

Maybe he senses my shyness. He smiles at me, fangs peeping out from under the stretch of his lips, and then moves my hand from his mouth down to his chest. He presses my fingers against his breast, and I can feel him purring again. It must mean something to him, something he really wants to communicate with me. I wish I knew what.

“Please, please tell me you’re not married,” I whisper. “Otherwise this is going to get super weird.”

He cocks his head, then indicates he doesn’t understand.

“Is there a girl at home for you?” The words rush out of my mouth, and I feel a sick sense of horror and worry the moment they erupt. Like I’ve gone over the edge. Like I’ve broken the spell of being with him and now reality’s going to creep in. “Someone you share your, um, cave with?”

His lips twitch and he shakes his head, then gestures at me. I think that’s supposed to mean I’m his choice? Or he’s staying with me? Or I guess if I want to be paranoid, there’s a million ways to read this. But I have to know. “No one and only love at home? No babies?”

He frowns at me slightly and shakes his head, then leans forward and taps right on my purring chest.

Okay, he’s choosing me. Or saying that there’s no one but me. That’s sweet. I give him a nervous smile. “All right then.”

We gaze at each other for a long, electric moment, silent. I wonder if he’s waiting for me to make the first move. If so, it might be a while. I’m not sure I’m brave enough.

I start to pull away, and then stop. What’s stopping me from touching him? This is a different world, with different rules. No one’s here to tell me to be a good girl, or that I’m too shy or mousy for guys to look at. There’s no one here but me and Rokan and he looks at me like I’m the world to him.

So I let my fingers glide down the ridges on his belly, toward his navel. And I watch him respond to my touch.

He sucks in a breath and I feel it against my fingers, feel the shiver that racks his body.

I feel the need to keep talking, even though I’m not brave enough to make eye contact and see his reactions. He has to understand me, why I’m so skittish, I guess. “This is hard for me,” I tell him. “I’m not very…not very confident. It’s the cochlear implants, even though they’re amazing.
Were
amazing.” I frown to myself, thinking of how hard it’s been without them. But other than being upset for the first few days, I’m getting by without them. Rokan helps, a lot. Knowing that he doesn’t act like it’s a burden to try and communicate with me really makes me feel normal. I need that. I crave that. “So, yeah. Implants. I always felt like such a weird kid with them, like I wasn’t normal. You know how it is when you’re a teenager and you think you’re the most awful, geeky thing ever, even if you’re not? That was me. Maybe because for the first twelve years of my life, I was that weird deaf kid and I didn’t have a lot of friends. Maddie made everyone be nice to me, but if she wasn’t there, no one talked to me. And even after I got the implant, that feeling never went away. I guess on the inside I’m still that sad, lonely kid.”

Annnnd now I’m verbally barfing my history at him. God. If ever there was a way to scare off a guy, it’s this moment, I suppose. I can’t help myself, though, just like I can’t help stroking those lower abdomen muscles over and over again, tracing my fingers over the part where his platey chest ridges move to smooth abdomen.

I can’t seem to stop talking, either. “So I haven’t ever dated much. And it’s kinda, well, catching, I guess. It’s like the moment the dating pool senses that you’re out, you’re completely out. I’ve dated all of two guys ever. I had a boyfriend in eighth grade for a week, and then at my first job, I went out with a guy on two dates, until he started asking questions about my implant and if I could take it off. And that hurt my feelings and I never went out with him again, because I felt all weird and awkward all over again. So that was the extent of my dating history. Except now, I guess, I’m here with you.”