Bared to You: A Crossfire Novel (32 page)

“Tell me again what you said in the car,” he whispered.

“Hmm…I don’t know.” I brushed my free hand over his vest. I was afraid to tell him again that I loved him. He’d taken it hard the first time, and I wasn’t sure he’d fully taken in what it meant for us. For him. “You’re ridiculously handsome, you know. It’s a sucker punch every time I see you. Anyway…I don’t want to risk scaring you away.”

Leaning toward me, he touched his forehead to mine. “You regret what you said, don’t you? All the flowers, the ring—”

“Do you really like it?” I asked anxiously, pulling back to study his face and see if he was hedging on the truth. “I don’t want you to wear it for me if you hate it.”

His fingers traced the shell of my ear. “It’s perfect. It’s how you see me. I’m proud to wear it.”

I loved that he got it. Of course, that’s because he got me.

“If you’re trying to soften the blow of taking back what you said—” he began, his gaze betraying a surprising anxiety.

I couldn’t resist the soft plea in his eyes. “I meant every word, Gideon.”

“I’ll make you say it again,” he threatened in a seductive purr. “You’ll scream it by the time I’m done with you.”

I grinned and backed away. “Get back to work, fiend.”

“I’ll give you a lift home at five.” He watched me move to the door. “I want your cunt naked and wet when you come down to the car. If you touch yourself to get there, don’t make yourself come or there will be consequences.”

Consequences. A little shiver moved through me, but it carried a level of fear I could deal with. I trusted Gideon to know just how far to push me. “Will you be hard and ready?”

A wry smile twisted his lips. “When am I not, with you? Thank you for today, Eva. Every minute of it.”

I blew him a kiss and watched his eyes darken. The look on his face stayed with me the rest of the day.

It was six o’clock before I made it back to my apartment in a state of well-fucked dishevelment. I’d known what I was in for when I found Gideon’s limousine at the curb after work instead of the Bentley. He’d damn near tackled me as I climbed into the back; then proceeded to demonstrate his phenomenal oral skills before nailing me into the seat with vigorous enthusiasm.

I was grateful that I kept in shape. Otherwise, Gideon’s insatiable sexual appetite combined with his seemingly endless stamina might’ve exhausted me by now. Not that I was complaining. Just an observation.

Clancy was already waiting for me in the lobby of my apartment building when I came rushing in. If he noted my hideously wrinkled dress, flushed cheeks, and messy hair, he didn’t point it out. I changed swiftly upstairs and we took off for Parker’s studio. I hoped the orientation would start out easy because my legs were still a bit jellied from two toe-curling orgasms.

By the time we arrived at the converted warehouse in Brooklyn, I was excited and ready to learn. About a dozen students were engaged in various exercises with Parker overseeing and offering encouragement from the edge of the mats. When he saw me, he came over and directed me to a far corner of the sparring area where we could work one-on-one.

“So…how’s it going?” I asked, to break my own tension.

He smiled, showing off a very interesting and arresting face. “Nervous?”

“A little.”

“We’re going to work on your physical strength and stamina, as well as your awareness. I’m also going to start training you not to freeze or hesitate in unexpected confrontations.”

Before we began, I thought I had pretty good physical strength and stamina, but I learned both could be better. We started out with a brief introduction to the equipment and layout of the space, and then moved on to an explanation of both fighting and neutral/passive stances. We warmed up with basic bodyweight calisthenics; then progressed to “tagging,” where we tried to tag each other’s shoulders and knees while standing face-to-face and blocking countermoves.

Parker was amazing at tagging, of course, but I started to get the hang of it. The majority of the time, however, was spent covering groundwork and I really sunk my teeth into that. I knew very well what it was like to be down and at a disadvantage.

If Parker noted my underlying vehemence, he didn’t comment on it.

When Gideon showed up at my apartment later that evening, he found me soaking my aching body in my bathtub. Although I could tell he was fresh from a shower after his own workout with his personal trainer, he stripped and slid into the bath behind me, cradling me with his arms and legs. I whimpered as he rocked me.

“That good, huh?” he teased, catching my earlobe in his teeth.

“Who knew rolling around for an hour with a hot guy could be so exhausting?” Cary had been right about Krav Maga causing bruises; I could see a few shadows blooming beneath my skin already and we hadn’t even gotten to the hard stuff yet.

“I might be jealous,” Gideon murmured, squeezing my breasts, “if I didn’t know Smith was married with children.”

I snorted at yet another tidbit of knowledge he shouldn’t know. “Do you also know his shoe and hat sizes?”

“Not yet.” He laughed at my exasperated growl and I couldn’t hold back a smile at hearing the rare sound.

One day soon we were going to have to talk about his obsession with information gathering, but today wasn’t the day to get into it. We’d been at odds too much lately and Cary’s warning about making sure we had as much fun as not was ever-present in my mind.

Playing with the ring on Gideon’s finger, I told him about the conversation I’d had with my dad on Saturday and how his fellow cops had been ribbing him over the gossip about me dating
the
Gideon Cross.

He sighed. “I’m sorry.”

Turning, I faced him. “It’s not your fault you’re news. You can’t help being insanely attractive.”

“One of these days,” he said dryly, “I’ll figure out whether my face is a curse or not.”

“Well, if my opinion counts for anything, I’m rather fond of it.”

Gideon’s lips twitched and he touched my cheek. “Your opinion is the only one that means anything. And your dad’s. I want him to like me, Eva, not think I’m exposing his daughter to invasions of her privacy.”

“You’ll win him over. He just wants me to be safe and happy.”

He visibly relaxed and pulled me closer. “Do I make you happy?”

“Yes.” I rested my cheek over his heart. “I love being with you. When we’re not together, I wish we were.”

“You said you didn’t want to fight anymore,” he murmured in my hair. “It’s been bugging me. Are you getting tired of me fucking up all the time?”

“You do
not
fuck up all the time. And I’ve screwed up, too. Relationships are hard, Gideon. Most of them don’t have kick-ass sex like we do. I put us in the lucky column.”

He cupped water in his hand and poured in down my back, over and over, soothing me with its sinuous warmth. “I don’t really remember my dad.”

“Oh?” I tried to not tense up and reveal my surprise. Or my agitated excitement and desperate hunger to learn more about him. He’d never talked about his family before. It killed me not to prod with questions, but I didn’t want to push if he wasn’t ready….

His chest lifted and fell on a deep exhale. There was something in the sound of his sigh that brought my head up and ruined my intention to be cautious.

I ran my hand over his hard pectorals. “Want to talk about what you
do
remember?”

“Just…impressions. He wasn’t around much. He worked a lot. I guess I get my drive from him.”

“Maybe workaholism—is that a word?—is something you have in common, but that’s it.”

“How would you know?” he shot back, defiant.

Reaching up, I brushed the hair back from his face. “I’m sorry, Gideon, but your father was a fraud who took the easy, selfish way out. You don’t have it in you to be that way.”

“Not that way, no.” He paused. “But I don’t think he ever learned how to connect to people, how to care about anything but his own immediate needs.”

I studied him. “Do you think that describes you?”

“I don’t know,” he answered quietly.

“Well, I know, and it doesn’t.” I pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose. “You’re a keeper.”

“I better be.” His arms tightened around me. “I can’t think about you with someone else, Eva. Just the idea of another man seeing you the way I do, seeing you like this…putting his hands on you…It takes me to a dark place.”

“It’s not going to happen, Gideon.” I knew how he felt. I wouldn’t be able to bear it if he was intimate with another woman.

“You’ve changed everything for me. I couldn’t stand losing you.”

I hugged him. “The feeling’s mutual.”

Tilting my head back, Gideon took my mouth in a fierce kiss.

In moments it became clear we were soon going to be sloshing water all over the floor. I pulled away. “I need to eat if you want to go at it again, fiend.”

“Says the girlfriend rubbing her wet naked body all over me.” He sat back with a sinful smile.

“Let’s order cheap Chinese and eat it out of the box with chopsticks.”

“Let’s order good Chinese and do that.”

 

C
ary joined us in the living room for excellent Chinese, a sweet plum wine, and Monday night television. As we flipped channels and laughed over the hilarious names of some reality television shows, I watched as two of the most important men in my life enjoyed some relaxation time and each other. They got along well, ribbing and playfully insulting each other in that way men had. I’d never seen that side of Gideon before and I loved it.

While I hogged one whole side of our sectional sofa, the two guys sat cross-legged on the floor and used the coffee table as a dining table. Both were wearing loose sweatpants and fitted T-shirts, and I appreciated the view. Was I a lucky girl or what?

Cracking his knuckles, Cary dramatically prepared to open his fortune cookie. “Let’s see. Will I be rich? Famous? About to meet Mr. or Ms. Tall, Dark, and Tasty? Traveling to distant lands? What’d you guys get?”

“Mine’s lame,” I said. “
In the end all things will be known.
Duh. I didn’t need a fortune to figure that out.”

Gideon opened his and read,
“Prosperity will knock on your door soon.”

I snorted.

Cary shot me a look. “I know, right? You snatched someone else’s cookie, Cross.”

“He better not be anywhere near someone else’s cookie,” I said dryly.

Reaching over, Gideon plucked half of mine out of my fingers. “Don’t worry, angel. Your cookie is the only one I want.” He popped it in his mouth with a wink.

“Gag,” Cary muttered. “Get a room.” He cracked his fortune with a flourish, and then scowled. “What the fuck?”

I leaned forward. “What’s it say?”

“Confucius say,” Gideon ad-libbed, “man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.”

Cary threw half his cookie at Gideon, who caught it deftly and grinned.

“Give me that.” I snatched the fortune out from between Cary’s fingers and read it. Then laughed.

“Fuck you, Eva.”

“Well?” Gideon prodded.

“Pick another cookie.”

Gideon smiled. “
Pwned
by a fortune.”

Cary threw the other half of his cookie.

I was reminded of similar evenings spent with Cary when I was attending SDSU, which made me try and picture what Gideon had been like in college. From the articles I’d read, I knew he’d attended Columbia for his undergraduate studies, then left to focus on his expanding business interests.

Had he associated with the other students? Did he go to frat parties, screw around and/or drink too much? He was such a controlled man, I had a hard time picturing him that carefree, and yet here he was being exactly that with me and Cary.

He glanced at me then, still smiling, and my heart turned over in my chest. He looked his age for once, young and seriously fine and so very normal. At that moment, we were just a twenty-something couple relaxing at home with a roommate and a remote control. He was just my boyfriend, hanging out. It was all so sweet and uncomplicated, and I found the illusion a poignant one.

The intercom buzzed and Cary leaped to his feet to answer it. He glanced at me with a smile. “Maybe it’s Trey.”

I held up a hand with my fingers crossed.

But when Cary answered the door a few minutes later, it was the leggy blonde from the other night who came in.

“Hey,” she said, taking in the remnants of dinner on the table. She eyed Gideon appraisingly as he politely unfolded and stood in that powerfully graceful way of his. She shot me a smirk; then unleashed a dazzling supermodel smile on Gideon and held out her hand. “Tatiana Cherlin.”

He shook her hand. “Eva’s boyfriend.”

My brows lifted at his introduction. Was he protecting his identity? Or his personal space? Either way, I liked his response.

Cary came back into the room with a bottle of wine and two glasses. “Come on,” he said, gestured down the hallway to his bedroom.

Tatiana gave a little wave and preceded Cary out. I mouthed behind her back to Cary,
What are you doing?

He winked and whispered, “Picking another cookie.”

Gideon and I called it a night shortly after and headed to my room. As we got ready for bed, I asked him something I’d wondered about earlier. “Did you have a fuck pad in college, too?”

His T-shirt cleared his head. “Excuse me?”

“You know, like the hotel room. You’re a randy guy. I just wondered if you’d had some kind of setup even then.”

He was shaking his head as I ogled his divinely perfect torso and lean hips. “I’ve had as much sex since I met you as I’ve had in the last two years combined.”

“No way.”

“I work hard and I work out harder, both of which keep me pleasantly exhausted most of the time. Occasionally, I might’ve gotten an offer I didn’t refuse, but otherwise I could take or leave sex until I met you.”

“Bullshit.” I found that impossible to believe.

He shot me a look before he headed toward the bathroom with a black leather toiletry bag. “Keep doubting me, Eva. See what happens.”

“What?” I followed him, enjoying the sight of his delectable ass. “You’re going to prove that you can take or leave sex by doing me again?”

“It takes two.” He opened his bag and pulled out a new toothbrush that he extricated from its packaging and dropped into my toothbrush holder. “You’ve initiated sex between us as much as I have. You need the connection as much as I do.”

“You’re right. It’s just…”

“Just what?” He pulled open a drawer, frowned at finding it full, and moved on to pull open another.

“Other sink,” I said, smiling at his presumption that he would get drawers at my place, too, and his scowl when he couldn’t find them. “They’re all yours.”

Gideon moved over to the second sink and began unpacking his bag into the drawers. “Just what?” he repeated, taking shampoo and body wash over to my shower.

Leaning my hip into the sink and crossing my arms, I watched him stake his claim all over my bathroom. There was no doubt that’s what he was doing, just as there was no doubt that anyone walking into the room would know right away there was a man in my life.

It struck me then that I had a similar claim on his private space. His household staff had to know their boss was in a committed relationship now. The thought gave me a little thrill.

“I was thinking about you in college earlier,” I went on, “when we were eating dinner, imagining what it would be like to see you around on campus. I would’ve been obsessed with you. I would have gone out of my way to see you around just to enjoy the view. I would’ve tried to get in the same classes as you, so I could daydream during lectures about getting into your pants.”

“Sex maniac.” He kissed the tip of my nose as he passed me and went to brush his teeth. “We both know what would’ve happened once I saw you.”

I brushed my hair and teeth; then washed my face. “So…did you have a sex pad for the rare occasions some lucky bitch got you in bed?”

His gaze caught my soapy reflection in the mirror. “I’ve always used the hotel.”

“That’s the only place you’ve had sex? Before me?”

“The only place I’ve had consensual sex,” he said quietly, “before you.”

“Oh.” My heart broke.

I walked over to him, hugging him from behind. I rubbed my cheek against his back.

We went to bed and wrapped ourselves around each other. I buried my face in his neck and breathed him in, snuggling. His body was hard, yet it was wonderfully comfortable against mine. He was so warm and strong, so powerfully male. I only had to think of him to want him.

I slid my leg over his hips and rose above him, my hands splayed atop the ridges of his abdomen. It was dark, I couldn’t see him, but I didn’t need to. As much as I loved that face of his—the one he resented at times—it was the way he touched me and murmured to me that really got to me. As if there was no one else in the world for him, nothing he wanted more.

“Gideon.” I didn’t need to say anything else.

Sitting up, he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me deeply. Then he rolled me beneath him and made love to me with a tender possessiveness that rocked me to the soul.

I woke with a jolt of surprise. A heavy weight crushed me and a harsh voice spit ugly, nasty words into my ear. Panic gripped me, cutting off my air.

Not again. No…Please, no…

My stepbrother’s hand covered my mouth and he yanked my legs apart. I felt the hard thing between his legs poking blindly, trying to push into my body. My scream was muffled by his palm smashed over my lips and I cringed away, my heart pounding so hard I thought it would burst. Nathan was so heavy. So heavy and strong. I couldn’t buck him off. I couldn’t shove him away.

Stop it! Get off me. Don’t touch me. Oh, God…please don’t do
that
to me…not again…

Where was Mama?
Ma-ma!

I screamed, but Nathan’s hand covered my mouth. It pressed down on me, squashing my head into the pillow. The more I fought, the more excited he became. Panting like a dog, he rammed against me over and over…trying to shove himself inside me…

“You’re going to know what it feels like.”

I froze. I knew that voice. I knew it wasn’t Nathan’s.

Not a dream. Still a nightmare.

God, no.
Blinking madly in the darkness, I struggled to see. The blood was roaring through my ears. I couldn’t hear.

But I knew the smell of his skin. Knew his touch, even when it was cruel. Knew the feel of his body on mine, even as it tried to invade me.

Gideon’s erection battered into the crease of my thigh. Panicked, I heaved upward with all my strength. His hand on my face dislodged.

Sucking air into my lungs, I screamed.

His chest heaved as he growled, “Not so neat and tidy when you’re the one getting fucked.”

“Crossfire,” I gasped.

A flash of light from the hallway blinded me, followed by the blessed removal of Gideon’s smothering weight. Rolling to my side, I sobbed, my eyes streaming tears that blurred my view of Cary shoving Gideon across the room and into the wall, denting the drywall.

“Eva! Are you okay?” Cary turned on the bedside light, cursing when he saw me curled in a fetal position, rocking violently.

When Gideon straightened, Cary rounded on him. “Move one fucking muscle before the cops get here and I’ll beat you to a bloody pulp!”

Swallowing past my burning throat, I pushed up to a seated position. My gaze locked with Gideon’s and I watched the haze of sleep leave his eyes, replaced by a dawning horror.

“Dream,” I choked out, catching Cary’s arm as he reached for the phone. “He’s d-dreaming.”

Cary glanced at where Gideon crouched naked on the floor like a wild animal. Cary’s arm dropped back to his side. “Jesus Christ,” he breathed. “And I thought I was fucked up.”

Sliding off the bed, I stood on shaky legs, sick with lingering fear. My knees gave out and Cary caught me, lowering to the floor with me and holding me as I cried.