Bared to You: A Crossfire Novel (30 page)

Restless and worried, I took a deep breath and asked, “Would you tell me if our sex life didn’t satisfy you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Eva.”

What else could have prompted him to bring this up after our four-day breakup? “I’m sure it doesn’t help that I’m not the type you usually go for. And we haven’t used any of those toys you had in the hotel—”

“Stop talking.”

“Excuse me?”

Gideon set his utensils down. “I’m not going to listen to you shred your self-esteem.”

“What? You’re the only one who gets to do all the talking?”

“You can pick a fight with me, Eva, but it’s still not going to get you fucked.”

“Who said—” I shut up when he glared. He was right. I still wanted him. I wanted him on top of me, explosively lustful, completely in control of both my pleasure and his.

Pushing away from the table, he said curtly, “Wait here.”

When he returned a moment later, he set a black leather ring box beside my plate and resumed his seat. The sight of it hit me like a physical blow. Fear struck me first, icy cold. Followed swiftly by a longing that was white-hot.

My hands shook in my lap. I clasped my fingers together and realized my whole body was shaking. Lost, I lifted my gaze to Gideon’s face.

The feel of his fingertips brushing down my cheek soothed much of the vibrating anxiety inside me, leaving behind the terrible yearning.

“It’s not
that
ring,” he murmured gently. “Not yet. You’re not ready.”

Something inside me wilted. Then relief flooded me. It
was
too soon. Neither of us was ready. But if I’d ever wondered how deeply I had fallen in love with Gideon, now I knew.

I nodded.

“Open it,” he said.

With cautious fingers, I pulled the box closer and thumbed open the lid. “Oh.”

Nestled inside the black leather and velvet was a ring like no other. Gold rope-like bands were intertwined and decorated with Xs covered in diamonds.

“Bonds,” I murmured, “secured by crosses.” Gideon
Cross
.

“Not quite. I see the ropes as representative of the many threads of you, not bondage. But yes, the Xs are me holding on to you. By my fingernails, it feels like.” He finished his glass of wine and refilled both our glasses.

I sat unmoving, stunned, trying to take it all in. Everything he’d done in the time we’d been apart—the photos, the ring, Dr. Petersen, the replicated bedroom, and whoever had been following me around—told me I’d never been far from his mind, if I’d even left it at all.

“You gave me my keys back,” I whispered, still remembering the pain.

His hand reached out and covered mine. “There are a lot of reasons why I did that. You left me wearing nothing but a robe, Eva, and without your keys. I can’t stand thinking about what could’ve happened if Cary hadn’t been home to let you in right away.”

Lifting his hand to my mouth, I kissed the back; then released him and closed the lid of the ring box. “It’s beautiful, Gideon. Thank you. It means a lot to me.”

“But you won’t wear it.” It wasn’t a question.

“After the conversation we’ve had tonight, it feels like a collar.”

After a moment, he nodded. “You’re not altogether wrong.”

My brain hurt and my heart ached. Four nights of restless sleeping didn’t help. I couldn’t understand why he felt I was so necessary, even though I felt that way about him. There were thousands of women in New York alone who could replace me in his life, but there was only one Gideon Cross.

“I feel like I’m disappointing you, Gideon. After everything we’ve talked about tonight…I feel like this is the beginning of the end.”

Pushing his chair back, he angled toward me and touched my cheek. “It’s not.”

“When do we see Dr. Petersen?”

“I’ll go alone on Tuesdays. After you talk to him and agree to couples counseling, we can go together on Thursdays.”

“Two hours of your week, every week. Not including the travel back and forth. That’s a big commitment.” I reached up and brushed the hair back from his cheek. “Thank you.”

Gideon caught my hand and kissed the palm. “It’s no sacrifice, Eva.”

He went into his office to work a bit before bed and I carried the ring box into the master bathroom with me. I studied it further while I brushed my teeth and hair.

There was a soft hum of need beneath my skin, a persistent level of arousal that shouldn’t have been possible considering the number of orgasms I’d already had over the course of the day. It was an emotionally driven need to connect to Gideon, to reassure myself that we were okay.

Clutching the ring box in my hand, I went to my side of Gideon’s bed and set it on the nightstand. I wanted it where I’d see it first thing in the morning, after a good night’s sleep.

With a sigh, I draped my beautiful new robe over the footboard and crawled into bed. After tossing and turning for a long while, I finally crashed.

I woke sometime in the middle of the night to a racing pulse and quick, shallow breathing. Disoriented, I lay still for a moment, gathering my bearings and remembering where I was. I tensed when it sank in, my ears straining to hear if Gideon was having another nightmare. When I discovered him lying quietly beside me, his breathing deep and even, I relaxed with a sigh.

What time had he finally come to bed? After the days we’d spent apart, it worried me that he might have felt a need to be alone.

Then it hit me. I was
aroused
. Painfully so.

My breasts were full and heavy, my nipples furled and tight. My core was aching and my cleft wet. As I lay there in the moonlit darkness, I realized that my own body had woken me with its demands. Had I dreamed something erotic? Or was it enough that Gideon was lying beside me?

Pushing up onto my elbows, I looked at him. The sheet and comforter clung to his waist, leaving his sculpted chest and biceps bared. His right arm was tossed over his head, framing the fall of dark hair around his lavishly handsome face. His left arm lay between us on the blankets, the hand fisted and bringing to relief the network of thick veins that coursed up his forearms. Even in repose he looked fierce and powerful.

I became more aware of the tension inside me, the sense that I was drawn to him by the silent exertion of his formidable will. It wasn’t possible that he could demand my surrender while he was sleeping, yet it felt that way, felt like that invisible rope between us was pulling me to him.

The throbbing between my legs grew unbearable and I pressed one hand against the violent pulsing, hoping to dull the ache. The pressure worsened it instead.

I couldn’t stay still. Throwing the covers off, I slid my legs off the side of the mattress and thought about trying a glass of warm milk with the brandy Gideon had given me earlier. Abruptly, I paused, riveted by the moonlight gleaming off the leather of the ring box on the nightstand. I thought of the jewelry inside it and my desire surged. At that moment, the thought of being collared by Gideon filled me with heated yearning.

You’re just horny,
I scolded myself.

One of the girls in group had talked about how her “master” could use her body any time and in any way he wanted, for his pleasure alone. There was nothing about that I’d found sexy…until I put Gideon in the picture. I loved getting him off. I loved making him come. Just because.

My fingers brushed over the lid of the tiny box. Exhaling a shaky breath, I picked it up and opened it. A moment later I was sliding the cool band onto the ring finger of my right hand.

“Do you like it, Eva?”

A shiver moved through me at the sound of Gideon’s voice, deeper and rougher than I’d ever heard it. He’d been awake, watching me.

How long had he been conscious? Was he as attuned to me while sleeping as I seemed to be to him?

“I love it.”
I love you.

Setting the box aside, I turned my head to find him sitting up. His eyes glittered in a way that made me impossibly more aroused, but also sent a bite of fear through me. It was an unguarded look, like the one that had literally knocked me on my ass when we met—scorching and possessive, filled with dark threats of ecstasy. His gorgeous face was harsh in the shadows, his jaw taut as he lifted my right hand to his mouth and kissed the ring he’d given me.

I moved to kneel on the bed and draped my arms around his neck. “Take me. Carte blanche.”

He cupped my butt and squeezed. “How does it feel to say that?”

“Almost as good as the orgasms you’re going to give me.”

“Ah, a challenge.” The tip of his tongue teased the seam of my lips, tempting me with the promise of a kiss he deliberately withheld.

“Gideon!”

“Lay back, angel, and grip your pillow with both hands.” His mouth curved in a wicked smile. “Don’t let go for any reason. Understand?”

Swallowing hard, I did as I was told, so turned on I thought I might come from just the relentless spasming of my needy sex.

He kicked the covers down to the footboard. “Spread your legs and pull up your knees.”

My breath caught audibly as my nipples hardened further, causing a deep ache in my breasts. God, Gideon was hot as hell like this. I was panting with excitement, my mind spinning with the possibilities. The flesh between my legs trembled with want.

“Oh, Eva,” he crooned, running his index finger through my slick cleft. “Look how greedy you are for me. It’s a full-time job keeping this sweet little cunt satisfied.”

That single rigid finger pushed into me, parting the swollen tissues. I tightened around him, so close to coming I could taste it. He withdrew and lifted his hand to his mouth, licking my flavor from his skin. My hips arched without volition, my body straining toward his.

“Your fault I’m so hot for you,” I gasped. “You slacked on the job for days.”

“Then I better make up for lost time.” Sliding down into a prone position, he settled his shoulders beneath my thighs and rimmed the quivering entrance to my body with the tip of his tongue. Around and around. Ignoring my clit and refraining from fucking me even when I begged.

“Gideon, please.”

“Shh. I have to get you ready first.”

“I’m ready. I was ready before you woke up.”

“Then you should’ve woken me earlier. I’ll always take care of you, Eva. I live for it.”

Whimpering in distress, I rocked my hips into that teasing tongue. Only when I was soaked with my own arousal, creaming desperately for the feel of any part of him I could get inside me, did he crawl over me and settle between my spread thighs, placing his forearms flat on the bed.

He held my gaze. His cock, feverishly hot and hard as stone, lay against the lips of my sex. I wanted it inside me more than I wanted to breathe. “Now,” I gasped. “Now.”

With a practiced shift of his hips, he rammed deep into me, shoving me up the bed.

“Ah, God,” I gasped, convulsing ecstatically around the thick column of flesh that possessed me. This was what I’d needed since we’d talked in his home office, what I’d craved as I rode up and down his steely erection before dinner, what I’d needed even as I climaxed around his thick length.

“Don’t come,” he murmured in my ear, cupping my breasts in his hands and rolling my nipples between his thumb and forefingers.

“
What
?” I was pretty sure if he’d just take a deep breath I’d go off.

“And don’t let go of the pillow.”

Gideon began to move in a slow, lazy rhythm. “You’re going to want to,” he murmured, nuzzling the sensitive spot beneath my ear. “You love to grab my hair and rake your nails down my back. And when you’re close to coming, you like to squeeze my ass and yank me deeper. Makes me so damn hard when you go wild like that, when you show me how much you love how I feel inside you.”

“No fair,” I moaned, knowing he was deliberately provoking me. The cadence of his raspy voice was perfectly timed with the relentless surging of his hips. “You’re torturing me.”

“Good things come to those who wait.” His tongue traced the shell of my ear, and then dipped inside at the same moment he tugged on my nipples.

I bucked into his next thrust and nearly came. Gideon knew my body so well, knew all its secrets and erogenous zones. He was expertly stroking his cock inside me, rubbing over and over the tender bundle of nerves that quivered in delight.