Barefoot (29 page)

‘So… what?’ Toni delayed the inevitable. She knew exactly what Lauren meant.

‘Who was he?’

‘Cal’s brother, Sam.’

Lauren shrieked. ‘He’s so fit!’

‘Really?’ Toni tried to sound casual. ‘I haven’t noticed.’

‘
That
I don’t believe. I saw the chemistry between you two.’

‘No. You didn’t.’ Toni felt disturbed. ‘So forget it, OK?’ She sounded angrier than she meant to.

‘Hey. Cool it. I was just teasing.’ Lauren linked her arm through Toni’s. ‘As you were so late I’ve ordered for you. Pepperoni.’

Toni let herself be led into the party, wondering why Lauren’s comment had upset her so much.

There wasn’t any truth in it after all.

**********
*
*

On Monday after school, she looked out of the tiny cottage window with dismay. Rain bucketed down, and the October sky was dark and heavy. But Toni had no choice. She had to check on the ponies. She slipped out of her school skirt and tugged on her waterproof trousers, began to pull off her school jumper, then shivered and decided to leave it on as an extra layer under her fleece.

She looked longingly at the computer in the corner of the room. She would love to log on and see if there was any news from Cal. As the weeks passed she found herself scrolling through the photos more and more often, just to remember his face. And to check his status, of course.

Looking after the ponies was getting harder than she had ever imagined. She cycled there every evening, whatever the weather, and Arabella’s words often came back to haunt her.

‘You’ll come crawling back before the winter’s out.’

Toni was determined not to prove her right.

She sighed and pulled on her hi-vis jacket and let herself out onto the patio, where her bike stood propped against the fence. Three miles there, three miles back. And she still had a couple of hours of homework to do after that. She set off with her head down into the driving rain, pedalling furiously.

When she arrived, Buster and Grace were both standing with their heads inside the field shelter, sheltering from the rain. It was only designed for one pony, so both their bums stuck out. Buster backed out at once and whinnied a greeting. She ran her fingers under his lightweight waterproof and was amazed at the body heat he was generating with the long winter coat.

He nuzzled her pocket and she fished out a carrot and he grabbed it. Grace still didn’t bother moving, even when she saw Buster eating, which wasn’t a good sign.

Buster was a native. Hardy and bred to be out twenty-four-seven. The thoroughbred was a different story. She was used to being in at night, and often all day as well in the worst of the winter weather. She was thoroughly miserable in the rain and mud.

Toni shooed Buster away and took the lantern out of her backpack and hung it on a hook, then slipped into the tiny field shelter alongside the mare.

She rubbed her head. ‘Hey, girl. What’s up?’ Grace didn’t respond and hung her head low. Toni circled her arms around her neck and hugged her. She knew exactly what was up. Grace wanted a warm stable. Even under a heavyweight rug, she was struggling to maintain her body heat. Buster snuk up and head-butted Toni from behind, demanding food.

‘Hooves first.’ She picked them out and examined each one carefully. The walls seemed to be thickening up nicely and she applied the paste Jen had recommended. She paid special attention to Grace’s legs, too. The last thing she needed was the thoroughbred getting mud fever. Then she mixed them both a bucket of chaff. Buster hoovered his up instantly and dived into Grace’s food as well.

‘No you don’t!’ Toni yanked his head out of the bucket and stood guard, while Grace slowly munched her way through her food. She was freezing to death and willing the mare to hurry up. Finally she stacked the buckets, packed up her lantern and set off for home again.

The next morning Toni got up and dressed as usual, and waved her father off. Then she took her uniform off again and just climbed back into bed. She hadn’t planned to do it at all, but the simple act of pulling the duvet over her head helped block everything out.

She slept until past lunchtime, then cycled over to the ponies while it was still light. When she got back to the cottage she logged on to see what Cal had posted. It would be around lunchtime over in Canada. He was almost certain to be out working with the horses.

But to her delight he was online.

‘Hey. Howz things?’
she asked.

‘Fantastic. Howz u??’

‘Good.’

‘Is it OK at your dad’s?’

‘It’s cool.’

What else was there to say?

‘How r Buster and Grace?’
Cal asked.

‘Both good.’

Toni felt hopelessly insecure. If he was having such a fantastic time, he couldn’t be missing her very much.
She logged off quickly, not giving him chance to ask more, and went upstairs to crawl back into bed.
She was angry he had left. But she missed him at the same time.
There was so much she wanted to say to him, but she didn’t know how.

He’ll be home in three weeks
.

I can say it all then.

Her father arrived back at eight-thirty, shattered as usual, and didn’t seem to suspect a thing. So the following day Toni went back to bed again. That evening her father arrived home at six and she could tell immediately he knew.

‘Your school contacted your mother, and she phoned me. They said you were absent yesterday and today.’

Toni couldn’t meet his eye.

‘Are you ill?’

She couldn’t bring herself to lie.

‘Did you skip school, Toni?’ he asked her directly.

She nodded, and waited for him to explode. But he sat down next to her on the small sofa instead, and took her hand.

‘Can’t you see that’s just going to give your mother ammunition? She’ll argue I’m not managing to look after you properly.’

She hadn’t thought of that. ‘I’m sorry. It was stupid.’

‘Is it too much, looking after Buster and Grace?’

She didn’t dare admit it was. She couldn’t bear to lose them too. ‘No, it’s fine.’

He wasn’t convinced, she could tell. ‘It’s your GCSE year. It’s going to get even tougher.’

The thought of her exams was too much, and she broke down.

‘Hey. Hey.’ He hugged her. ‘Come on. You’re going to have to help me out here. What is it?’

‘Everything’s changed. And I miss Cal.’ She shocked herself by telling him, and he looked startled, too.

‘I thought you’d forgotten him.’

Toni shook her head. ‘I think about him all the time.’

‘Are you in touch?’

She nodded. ‘Online.’ She glanced sideways, trying to see his reaction. ‘I know you don’t want me to be.’

They both sat in silence for a while. Toni reached for a tissue and blew her nose.

‘I don’t suppose talking online can do much harm,’ he said carefully, then sighed. ‘We can’t go on like this.’

‘Like what?’

‘Me getting home late every night. You spending so much time alone.’

‘I don’t mind. Honestly.’

‘Well, I do.’ He hesitated. ‘I’ve been thinking about things and I’ve reached a decision.’

Toni panicked instantly. ‘I don’t want to go back. Please. Don’t send me back, Dad.’

‘Shhh,’ he reassured her. ‘You don’t have to go back. I’m going to look for a local job instead.’

Her eyes swam with tears. ‘You’d do that for me?’

He smiled. ‘You’re my daughter and I love you. I’d do anything for you.’

The tears dripped down her nose. She wiped her face with the back of her hand.

‘And we need to put some effort into finding a livery a bit closer. We’ll take a drive round this weekend. See what we can see.’

Toni was filled with relief. All the joy was going out of owning the ponies and she wanted to find it again.

‘One condition, though,’ he added.

‘What?’

‘No more skipping school. If you’re finding things tough, talk to me.’

She nodded. ‘Deal.’

‘And it might take a while for me to find a job locally,’ he warned. ‘So we’re both just going to have to do our best until then.’

‘Thanks, Dad.’ She leant against him and could feel his warmth.

‘And it’s not all bad, is it? You’ve got your sixteenth to plan. Any ideas what you want to do?’

Toni didn’t want to even think about it. ‘Why don’t you surprise me?’

‘OK. You’re on. And darling…’

‘Mm?’

‘Cal will be back. If he’s worth waiting for.’

*****  
Eighteen
   *****

As her sixteenth got nearer, Toni finally gave in to the pressure and went to Cheltenham with B to shop for clothes.

‘I’m not having you turn up in a pair of jeans on your big day,’ her aunt insisted. ‘You’re an attractive girl and you don’t make the best of yourself.’

Toni didn’t really see the point. The only guy she wanted to look good for was three thousand miles away.

‘And I’ve booked you a hair appointment as well,’ B said. ‘No arguments.’

To keep the peace, Toni allowed herself to be dragged from boutique to boutique and tried on a mountain of dresses and accessories. In the end she was secretly pleased with what they bought. A little cream lace dress, accessorised with a large belt. She even let B persuade her into her first pair of heels.

When she stood back and looked at the final outfit in the mirror, she was pleasantly surprised. The hairdresser had persuaded her to have some layers, and her hair framed her face, instead of hanging down all one length. One thing was certain, she looked older than sixteen. She imagined what it would have been like to dance with Cal, and it made her heart ache.

B dropped her back at the cottage and Toni was just taking her bags of clothes upstairs when her father rang.

‘Successful shopping trip?’

‘Very. I won’t embarrass you by turning up for the party in jeans.’ She suddenly wondered why he was calling. It couldn’t be to discuss clothes. ‘What’s up?’

‘Bad news, I’m afraid. I’m not going to make it back for the start of the fireworks.’

It was bonfire night, one of her favourite times of the year. Toni realised how much she had been looking forward to it.

‘I can meet you there later,’ he offered.

‘They set the fireworks off at six-thirty,’ she pointed out. ‘It won’t be worth it. In fact, I don’t think I’ll bother this year.’

‘Don’t be silly. You love it. Call Lauren,’ he insisted.

In the end she did, only to find Lauren wasn’t planning to go to the village event either.