Battlefield of the Heart (20 page)

“We're monitoring him closely, so you don't have to worry. If he shows signs of getting violent, we'll have people in there immediately.”

“Okay.” Cindy didn't know whether to be comforted they were watching him so closely or disturbed they thought he'd become violent.

The nurse ushered her into the room and left. Danny's parents stood beside the gurney, but the figure lying on it captured her attention. She no longer had even a flicker of fear about what he might do. Danny looked like an empty shell, lying there with an IV hooked to his arm and staring toward the wall. The beginnings of a beard shadowed his face, and he still wore the same clothes she'd last seen him in.

She took a step forward, and Linda turned toward her. “Thanks for coming, honey.”

Danny shifted his vacant gaze to Cindy. A bit of life showed in the gray depths, and he lifted his head slightly. When he spoke, his voice was filled with such hope it made her heart ache. “Cindy?”

She stepped to the gurney as his parents moved out of the way. “I'm here, Danny.”

He reached for her hand, and she let him grasp it as her nose let her know he hadn't showered since disappearing. She barely refrained from wrinkling her nose at the unpleasant odor. His knuckles were bruised and scraped, but that was the only visible injury.
Thank You, Father.

His eyes glistened as he looked at her. “I'm so sorry. They said I hurt you. I didn't mean to. I never want to hurt you. I couldn't—”

“It's all right. I understand that it was an accident.” She pulled her hand out of his and laid it on his rough cheek. “I'm just glad to know where you are. You scared me, Danny, disappearing like that.”

He closed his eyes and leaned into her hand. “They're going to transfer me to the psych ward at the VA.”

“That's probably a good idea,” Cindy said softly.

He looked up at her again, and she lowered her hand. The vulnerability in his eyes nearly broke her heart. “What did I do to you?”

She reluctantly held up her plaster-encased wrist, dreading his reaction. “You were trying to keep me from getting shot by a sniper. When you shoved me down, I hit my wrist and broke it.”

“Oh, God, help me!” His anguished words filled the room as he covered his face with his hands.

She glanced at his parents, unsure of what to do and afraid of making the situation worse. Tom moved to the other side of the gurney and began to speak soothingly. Linda put an arm around Cindy's shoulders and guided her to the door.

“Cindy, I'm sorry! Don't go!”

At the sound of Danny's desperate voice, both women looked back.

His mother smiled. “It's okay, Danny. We're just going to go get a cup of coffee, and then we'll be back. Talk to your father while we're gone.”

He remained focused on Cindy, and she wondered if he'd even heard his mother. She took Linda's cue and smiled. “I'll be back. Like your mom said, we're just going to get a cup of coffee.”

He nodded and leaned back against the gurney, though she could still feel his eyes on her as Linda led her into the hall. Once they'd moved away from the room, Danny's mom wrapped Cindy in a hug.

“I wish I could tell you that he'll be okay, but he probably won't. He's always going to struggle with his time in the army.”

“I know.” Cindy closed her eyes against the tears, hurting for Danny. “I just hate to see him suffer so much. He's such a sweet guy. He doesn't deserve this!”

Linda stepped back and smoothed Cindy's hair away from her face. “Unfortunately, he has to live with it, regardless of whether he deserves it. He endured too much. Once they regulate his medication again, he'll be better, but there's no guarantee he won't have another break with reality like this. If you're going to be in a relationship with him, you'll have to accept that he will always have problems. Most likely, he'll have to be hospitalized occasionally, though hopefully that will lessen with time. He may never be able to hold a job. I'm praying he'll be able to finish college one day, but the stress of his classes may prevent him from completing.”

“Is that what caused him to have such a bad flashback? Stress from midterms?”

“It could be. He said he's been feeling a lot of pressure lately in his classes.” Linda sighed and guided Cindy down the hall. “He doesn't know where he's been for the last two days or what he's been doing. Some couple called the police when he tried to give them money. They thought he was speaking gibberish as he tried to get them to take his money. My guess is he was speaking Arabic. It wouldn't be the first time he's done it during a flashback.”

The more Cindy heard, the more her heart ached. “What happened to his hand?”

“He came back to reality shortly before the police arrived. When he realized what had happened, he hit a mailbox in frustration.” Linda pushed open the door to the waiting room, and they stepped through. “The police found him sitting on the curb beside it, sobbing and talking about killing a child and not being able to help the parents. The best anyone can figure, he's feeling guilty for a misdirected artillery shell.”

The memory of the night he'd finally started telling her about his time in the army flashed through her mind. Cindy's heart broke at the thought of him reliving that accidental shooting. A twinge of guilt sprang up. Had her pushing him into talking about the incident caused this?
Father, comfort him. Heal him.
“He meant what he said. I know what he's talking about.”

Linda stopped and stared at her. “Do you mean to tell me my son killed a child in the last two days?”

“No, this happened in Iraq. He was cleared of all wrongdoing, but it still tears him apart if he thinks of it.”

His mom's eyes narrowed. “I've never heard anything even close to what you're saying.”

Before Cindy could figure out how to explain, Josh joined them. His worried gaze shifted between them.

“How's Danny?”

“Severely depressed,” Linda said. “His hand might be broken, too, but we haven't heard back on the x-rays yet.” She glanced at Cindy then returned her attention to Josh. “He's also convinced he killed a child. Cindy says it happened in Iraq, but this is the first I've heard of it.”

“Me, too, but he's told her other stuff he won't tell anyone else.” He turned to Cindy. “He actually killed a child?”

She nodded, her eyes damp as she remembered comforting Danny after he told her about the incident. “He shot what he thought was a sniper. It turned out to be a ten or eleven-year-old boy with a stick. Both the army and the Iraqi government declared it an accident, and no one held him responsible, but he's convinced he should have somehow known it was a child and not a sniper.”

Linda studied her. “Do you know why he was trying to give those people money?”

“He told me he tried to give the family of the boy some money to help them out, but no one would tell him where to find them. He ended up donating it to a charity for war orphans.” She wiped the tears from her eyes. “If he's been reliving that, it's no wonder he's so depressed now. I think his reaction to that incident is what finally got him discharged.”

Josh looked away. “Kids are the worst kind of casualties. I can't imagine what Danny's going through.”

Danny's mom continued to stare at Cindy so long she began to wonder if Linda had gone into shock. Then tears slipped from the woman's eyes and her face crumpled. “I had no idea. So many things he's said and done make sense now. But why didn't he tell us?”

Cindy gave her a hug, noting how quickly the roles could change in a situation like theirs. “He was probably afraid you'd never speak to him again if you knew. He didn't tell me until I made him mad. Then he was afraid I'd hate him as much as he hates himself for it.”

The door opened, and a concerned nurse stepped out. “Is one of you Cindy Waymire?”

Fear coursed through her as she released Linda and nodded. “That's me.”

“Are you willing to come talk to Danny?” The nurse looked almost desperate. “He won't let us splint his hand because he thinks he deserves the pain for hurting you. We can try to put him in restraints and sedate him, but we're afraid of doing more damage to his hand when he fights us.”

Cindy caught his mom watching her and remembered the warnings about the trouble Danny would probably have for the rest of his life. She had a feeling whatever she did now would decide her relationship with Danny forever. Did she have the strength to face him at his worst? Could she live with herself if she didn't? The thought of ending her relationship with him was impossible. She loved him.

She took a deep breath to calm her jangling nerves and turned to the nurse. “I'll see what I can do.”

Linda and Josh stayed in the waiting room as Cindy followed the nurse back. Tom stood in the hall outside Danny's room when they arrived. She could hear Danny shouting inside and braced herself for the worst.
Lord, if ever I needed Your guidance and wisdom, it's now.

Tom stopped her with a hand on her arm. “You don't have to go in there. His mother and I will understand.”