Be Here Now: A Cedar Creek Novel (28 page)

“Perfect. He was perfect.” His voice sounded strangled. He touched the picture with his finger, slowly running it over his son’s face over and over again as if he was stroking his cheek in wonderment. “You look so happy.”

“I was. It was the most beautiful moment of my life.” It was hard telling him this, knowing he wasn’t there with me to experience the beauty of that moment, knowing he would never get that back. I wanted to give him something to make him feel part of what I experienced, something that he could hold on to, that was only his and mine and Jesse’s. So I told him everything from the beginning, how and when I found out I was pregnant, where I had been, how I had felt; what food I had craved during pregnancy; my mood swings and crying jags; all my wishes and dreams, my worries and my anxiety; my excitement. I told him everything from what colors I had chosen for Jesse’s nursery to the first outfits I had bought; from my heart melting at seeing Jesse’s first smile to my heart stopping at having to take him to emergency because he had a high fever that wouldn’t go down. I shared all my emotions with him as Jason turned page after page, all my joy and all my worries, my elation and exhaustion, all my memories. Because they were his just as much as they were mine and if life had been fair, Jason would have been here to experience every single one of those moments with us.

We sat for hours, me mostly talking, him mostly listening, as we went through every last one of my photo albums and Jason got to know his son. There was a lot of laughter and there were a few tears. When the last page was turned and he had looked at the last photo I had ever taken of Jesse for a good long while, he closed the book and looked at me with love and gratitude and pride and joy shining in his eyes. There was still some sadness left, and I supposed there always would be when either one of us thought about our son, but the joy and happiness outweighed the heartache.

“Do you know how truly amazing you are? You have given me something I thought I would never be able to feel. You made me feel like I knew him, as if I was here with you to watch him grow and watch him experience life. Thank you for giving me my son.” His voice was low and full of emotion.

Words left me as tears stung my eyes at the beauty of what he just said. I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came out. Jason smiled the most beautiful smile I had ever seen him smile right before he leaned down and kissed me softly, reverently, lovingly.

“I have videos, too,” I whispered when he ended the kiss and held me there with his eyes. Jason stilled for a second then threw his head back and burst out laughing. He let himself fall onto the carpet and pulled me with him so that I was lying on top of him. It felt so glorious that warmth filled me and all I could do was watch. This was what I had lived for all those years ago, to see true happiness on Jason’s face and knowing that I was responsible for it.

And now I had it back.

Jason’s laughter died down to a chuckle and he kissed me again while his body was still shaking. That felt great, too.

“You could hear his voice, hear him laugh,” I whispered.

The mirth left his eyes as he comprehended the meaning of my words. “I would love that.” His voice was rough with emotion and yearning.

“He had your laugh,” I smiled down at him. “Hearing it, knowing he was happy and knowing I was partly responsible for his happiness made everything else in my life less important. Just like with you.”

“You really mean that, don’t you?” Jason asked, amazed.

“I do.”

“God, I love you.” He did. I could see it in his eyes, could see it all over his face. He truly loved me with every single fibre of his being.

“I love you, too,” I replied, overwhelmed by the love I was feeling for him.

He kissed me once more, a soft lip touch that conveyed everything I could see in his eyes.

“Let’s watch our son,” Jason said, his voice full of anticipation. Then he sat up and took me with him.

“It’s fascinating how much he was the perfect blend of you and me.”

We were still sitting on the floor, now hunched over the computer while we were watching a video of Jesse and Chris and I during a water gun fight at my dad’s July 4
th
barbeque. Jesse and Chris had snuck up on me with their water guns—not surprising since they were always in cahoots together—and had mercilessly attacked me. But when Chris had me on the ground, Jesse had turned traitor on Chris and protected his mom. He tackled him and emptied his whole water gun in Chris’ face.

Jason chuckled. “He was protective of you.”

“Yeah. He was a great kid.”

“The best.”

“The best,” I repeated.

“And we’ll have lots more.”

I laughed silently. “How many more are we talking?”

His eyes came from the screen to mine. “At least three.”

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. “At least? What does that mean?”

“It means I liked what I saw in those pictures of you pregnant.” His voice was low and full of meaning. His eyes had turned dark and promising.

Oh my.

I remember being extremely horny when I was pregnant. Not having a partner to get that type of release with had been more than frustrating. My vibrator had seen a lot of action during those months.

My eyes glazed over and I licked my lips. It had only been a few hours since we’d last had sex, but I wanted him again. It felt like my body needed to make up for lost time. And I could tell that Jason had the same need. But before either of us could do something about it, my phone rang.

I jumped and looked at the screen to see who it was.

“It’s Rick,” I said, puzzled. Jason’s jaw tensed either at the mention of Rick or the interruption, I wasn’t sure, but he gave me a small nod to answer the phone.

“Rick? What’s up?”

“You forget something?” He sounded put out. I scowled.

“I don’t think so.”

“You forget what happened last night?”

Oh shit. I had.

I had been so wrapped up in Jason and Jesse that I had completely forgotten about going into the station to press charges.

“Ivey came down already to give her statement, but I can’t hold him much longer without yours.”

Shit again. I hadn’t thought about that.

My eyes darted to Jason when he made a move to get up, then went to his hand when he held it out for me. He must have heard what Rick said. I took his hand and let him pull me up.

“I’m sorry, Rick. We’ll be right here. Give us ten minutes.”

“All right. I’ll be here. Bring coffee.” Then he hung up.

“He’s not happy that I forgot,” I told Jason. He was pulling me towards the front door.

“He’ll get over it.” He sounded annoyed.

“You okay?”

Jason sighed. He stopped in front of the door and turned to me. His hands clasped my face and he leaned his head down until our foreheads touched.

“I’m fine. Just annoyed at life interrupting our moment.” He kissed my nose. “I enjoyed our little family bubble.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my lower body into his, keeping our foreheads connected.

“Me, too. We’ll be a family soon enough and have lots more of those moments, I promise.”

His lips came to mine where he murmured, “We’re already a family.”

My heart melted and I surrendered to his kiss.

We were at the police station. Rick had just told us that it wasn’t likely that Brad would actually stay in jail for much longer.

“I reckon he’ll get out on bail, so you gotta be careful, Lore.”

“You telling me she’s in danger from that asshole?” Jason was tense beside me. He had gotten more and more tense by the second as I gave my statement and rehashed the events from last night.

“She could be. Brad is a proud man and he’s holding a grudge. If you had asked me last week, I wouldn’t have believed he would seek her out with the intent to put his hands on her after what happened last week with me as a witness. It was stupid, but he has proven before that he’s not necessarily the sharpest knife in the drawer. So I want her to be careful just in case.”

“I’ll be careful,” I said at the same time Jason said, “She’ll be safe. I’ve got my bodyguard fly in this afternoon. He’ll keep an eye on her and so will I.”

“Good. I’ll keep an eye out, too.”

Jason didn’t respond.

This had the potential of turning into yet another pissing contest. I couldn’t blame Jason for wanting to mark his territory so to speak, especially after what had happened last night with Nick, so I decided to not comment and stay out of it other than to squeeze Jason’s hand in reassurance.

We left shortly after that.

When we stepped out of the police station, we were greeted by a couple of paparazzi.

“Remember what I said,” Jason murmured into my ear, “Ignore them. Don’t look at them or answer their questions. Pretend they’re not here.” I nodded. Jason had his arm around my shoulder as we walked down the sidewalk. It was hard not to look when I heard the shutters on their cameras click.

“I’m starving.”

I turned my head and looked at Jason’s profile as we kept walking. He met my eyes and grinned.

“I could cook us lunch, but we don’t have any food in the house. We’d have to stop at the grocery store before we head home.”

“How about I take my fiancée to lunch?”

I smiled at him, loving it when he called me his fiancée. Judging by the huge grin on his face, he loved it just as much.

“Your fiancée would love that.”

“Then lunch it is.” He gave me a quick peck on the lips. “Where to?”

“Have you tried the shakes at the diner yet?”

Jason shook his head, smirking. “Nope.”

“Then let’s go there. You’ll love them. Tom’s got all the flavours you could possibly imagine and you can mix and match as many as you want.” Jason chuckled at my excitement and kissed me again.

“They’ve got all the flavours you could possibly imagine and you pick chocolate?” Jason sounded amused but not surprised.

“Double chocolate. But what can I say? I’m a sucker for anything chocolate.”

“I remember,” he muttered as he perused the menu.

“All right, folks, what can I get you today?” Martha was standing beside the table, pen at the ready.

“I’ll have the double chocolate shake and a burger with fries.”

“Ever thought of mixing it up a bit, darling? Maybe try something new?” Martha asked dryly. Jason chuckled.

“Nope,” I said. “I like what I like.”

“Ain’t that the truth?” She murmured through a small smile then looked at Jason and waited for his order.

“I’ll try the strawberry banana shake and the BLT, heavy on the B.” Jason said.

“Coming right up.” Martha took our menus and headed towards the counter.

“I want you to come with me this afternoon.”

I frowned at him in confusion. “Come with you where?”

“To pick up Frank from the airport.”

Ah. Frank, the bodyguard. “What airport?”

“He’s flying into Denver. There wasn’t a flight open to Boulder until tomorrow and I wanted him here as soon as possible.” Denver was almost a two-hour drive away, which would make it a trip of at least four hours if it wasn’t busy at the airport.

“I’d love to come with you but I’ve got to catch up on all the paperwork. I didn’t really get much done this week.” Jason didn’t like that. “I’ll be okay, Jason. Brad is still in jail and I’ll be safe in my office. Mark is gonna be there, too. It’ll be okay.” Jason sighed. He still didn’t like it but he was giving in.

“When do you have to leave?” I asked.

“In about an hour. I’ll walk you to the bar from here. Do you mind if I take your car?” My girl was still at the bar from last night. We hadn’t gotten around to picking her up yet.

I shrugged. “Sure. I don’t mind.” I wouldn’t need it anyway.

“Promise me you’ll stay inside the bar. I don’t want you alone with those weasels.”

I rolled my eyes. “I promise.”

Jason glared at me. “I mean it, Loreley. They can be mean motherfuckers and I don’t want you alone with them.”

“I know. You’ve said that already. Though honestly, I don’t know what the big deal is. Yeah, I was a little overwhelmed at first last night, but I think I can handle ignoring them when you’re not around, now that I know what I’m dealing with.”

“I’m not doubting you can. I don’t want you to have to.”

Luckily, Martha came with our milk shakes and we dropped the subject.

“Yo Lore!”

I lifted my head from the computer screen where I was finishing up the schedule for the coming week at hearing Mark’s call. I had caught up on all the paperwork that had accumulated over the past week. Writing up the new schedule was the last thing on my list. Jason had been gone for almost five hours now and should be back soon. Mark appeared in the door. “Someone’s here to see you.”

I frowned. “Who?” I didn’t have any appointments or meetings today. Mark shrugged his shoulders. “No clue. She didn’t say.” He turned around and headed back the way he came without saying anything else. I looked back at the screen to quickly finish the schedule and smiled to myself. Jason would be pleased. I had decided to take a little break and only schedule myself in when nobody else was available, giving me most of the week off. I couldn’t wait to spend time with each other to catch up and just be together.