Be Here Now: A Cedar Creek Novel (32 page)

“I do. But you gotta have at least two years in between.”

“That would make it six years then.”

“We’ll see.” Jason smirked at me.

“As interesting as the family planning session is, my legs are cramping up. You mind getting out of the car?” I had forgotten that Frank was still sitting in the back seat.

“Sorry,” I gave him an apologetic smile and got out of the car so he could squeeze out of the back.

“So what’s the verdict? Here or the rental?” Jason asked me as he rounded the car and stopped in front of me.

“The rental. More room,” I answered.

“More privacy you mean.” He was teasing me again. I raised my eyebrows and accepted the challenge.

“Fancy a dip in the hot tub?”

His smirk grew wider and sexier as he stepped closer to me until our bodies almost, but not quite, touched. “I didn’t bring any swim shorts,” his voice was low and seductive. Two could play that game. I leaned into him so that my breasts brushed against his chest. His eyes turned dark and carnal. “Well, then it looks like we’ll be skinny dipping.” Jason’s body froze and I grinned. Then I slowly licked along his lower lip before I leaned back and walked to the front door where I could see Frank waiting.

“Payback’s a bitch, baby,” Jason growled into my ear. He had caught up with me and held my hips as he was walking behind me.

“Bring it on,” I murmured back, and to my satisfaction, heard another growl as he nipped my ear lope.

Flashbacks to how different this flight was from the last time I had sat on a plane to L.A. kept running through my mind as I was staring out the window to see nothing but clouds and the bright blue sky above them.

The most obvious difference was that we were sitting in first class as opposed to me flying coach last time. I wasn’t the type of woman, who needed or desired fancy and expensive things, but I had to admit, flying first class was something I could definitely get used to. So much space and legroom and the service was outstanding. Even the food tasted great, though the last time I had been so consumed with hurt and betrayal that I honestly didn’t remember what the food had tasted like or if I had even eaten anything. All I had been able to think about had been how wrong I had been about Jason. I kept seeing the blond woman wrapped in her towel over and over again, and my over-imaginative mind had tortured me as it pictured Jason in bed with her. The man sitting next to me that day had asked me if I was okay when he had seen the tears running down my cheeks and had offered me a handkerchief. He was older, maybe mid-fifties, and the look in his eyes had reminded me of my dad.

“Man trouble, I presume?” He had asked.

I sniffed as I accepted the handkerchief to dry my face and blow my nose and nodded before I broke out into sobs again.

“Now, now,” he swung an arm around my shoulders and tried to soothe me. “I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but it will get better. You’ll get over him and find someone who is worthy of your love.”

“How do you know we broke up?”

“Sweetheart, it’s written all over your face.” His eyes roamed my face and he gave me a sad smile. “I’ve got three daughters. My youngest just turned twenty-five, which if my eyes and intuition are correct, is about the same age as you are. Believe me, I’ve had to deal with my fair share of broken hearts over the years.”

I nodded and kept wiping my tears.

“Now, tell me all about the jackass that broke your heart.” I had to giggle a little at his swearing. Then I told him what happened, starting from the first time I had met Jason and how we had fallen in love, and ending with what I had seen yesterday morning. The more I had talked, the angrier he had become, until when I finished, his jaw was locked in a pissed off position and his eyes were hard.

“Let me tell you something, sweetheart. Men can be idiots, especially in their early twenties, but that doesn’t excuse how you’ve been treated. I can see that you are a lovely woman with a big heart and big dreams. Don’t let anyone take that away from you, no matter how much you might love him. You follow your dreams and stay true to yourself and the right man will come along and respect you and make you happy.”

“You really believe that, don’t you?”

He nodded. “I absolutely do. Without a doubt.”

I hadn’t been ready at that point to share his optimism, and to be honest, had never really gotten there until a few days ago, and he could tell. When we parted at the baggage claim, he had given me his card and told me to give him a call if I ever needed to talk to someone.

“You got friends in L.A.?”

I shook my head.

“Give me a call and I’ll introduce you to my daughters. Making new friends can never hurt.” Then he had left and with everything that had happened after, I had forgotten all about him until now. Bob. He had told me to call him Bob. But for the life of me I couldn’t remember his last name.

“Hey, you okay?” Jason squeezed my thigh, snapping me out of the memory. “Looked like you were miles away, baby.”

I looked at him and gave him a smile. “Just thinking. And remembering.”

“Remembering what?”

“The last time I flew to L.A.” Remorse flashed through his eyes for a second before they turned contemplative.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” I said.

“You never told me about your internship or the reason why you didn’t accept their job offer at the end of it.”

My eyebrows went up in surprise. “How do you know about the job offer?”

“Frank found out when I told him to find you and told me about it.”

“Oh,” I said, not knowing what else to say. I wasn’t too eager to talk about my time in L.A. and the missed opportunities.

“Will you tell me?” He took my hand in his and started to play with my fingers. I sighed. “I loved it. It was everything I had imagined it to be and more. It was exhausting. I worked fifteen hours a day and loved every single minute of it. But I wasn’t happy in L.A.” I looked away from his face and kept my eyes on our hands. “I was…lonely. And when I found out I was pregnant and with everything that happened after, all I wanted to do was go home. I didn’t see myself being a single mom and raising my child in a city like L.A. while trying to make it in the music business. It wouldn’t have been fair to the baby.” Jason said nothing for a few minutes and I looked back up to his face. His jaw was clenched and he had that same annoyed and angry look on his face he had when I told him about me not having been anywhere in the past six years. I assumed he was mad at himself for not having been there when I needed him, for not having been able to support me.

“It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know,” I said in a soft whisper. Jason shook his head and looked out the window. His jaw was still clenched.

“I’m grateful you feel that way, baby, but that doesn’t change the fact that I
am
responsible for you not getting what you’ve worked so hard for.”

“I’m happy where I am, Jason. I still get to write music and play every once in a while. Really, it’s enough for me.”

His eyes came back to mine and he studied me. “I can see that you’re trying to make yourself believe that, but we both know that you’re lying to yourself. Writing music is your passion, it’s what you’ve always wanted to do, not managing a small town bar in the mountains somewhere in Colorado.”

I straightened my spine in offense, but Jason’s hand cupped my cheek before I could say anything. “I’m not being condescending. I know you love the bar and you’re great at what you do. But you’re not passionate about it and we both know it. Don’t lie to me because you don’t want me to feel bad.”

I sighed in exasperation, pissed off that he knew me so well, but said nothing. Jason’s lips twitched at my stubbornness. “I want to get back to how it used to be. I want you to start writing songs with me again.”

I gasped, shocked by his request. I had found closure with that part of my life, content with writing just for me and working with small bands like
Breaking Habit
. Yes, I missed it to some degree, but never would I have imagined that Jason would ask me to write with him again. Back then, we had been a great team and had written lots of songs together, but that had been so long ago and quite frankly, I hadn’t listened to any of his music. It had been too painful. I knew about them of course—you would have to live under a rock to not know about at least his number one hits—and I had been so angry in the beginning that it was our songs that made the band so famous, but I had never intently listened to any of the new ones.

“Loreley? What do you think?” Jason asked at a squeeze of my hand.

I shrugged. “I’m not sure.”

“Let me ask you this: how many songs have you written in the past six years?”

I shrugged again. “I don’t know. Lots.”

“Give me a ballpark number. Ten? Twenty? Fifty? A hundred?”

“Somewhere around fifty I guess. Why?”

“Because, baby, you were a single mom who managed a bar full time and still found time to write somewhere around fifty songs. It’s your passion. It’s what you’re meant to do.”

“Jason,” I sighed, confused and a little annoyed. “Two days ago you told me you want us to start having babies, the same day you told me I’d have a month to plan our wedding. If you get your way, we’ll have a baby within the year.” The joy on Jason’s face at hearing my words took my breath away and I smiled back at him. “And I wasn’t lying. I enjoy managing the bar. I’m not sure I want to give that up.”

Jason gave in, if only slightly. “Promise me something then. Show me your songs and come to the studio with me while we’re in L.A. My studio, the one in my basement, and play with me.” I could give him that, even though I could see through his plan, knew where he was going. The thought of playing with him again after all these years excited me and gave me butterflies. I wasn’t against writing music per se, I had been doing it most of my life, and Jason was right. It was my passion. But I wasn’t sure I wanted to pursue it as a career anymore. Especially if he planned on keeping me knocked up for the next decade.

“Fine. I’ll show you my stuff and I’ll play with you, but don’t think I don’t know exactly what you’re doing.”

Jason grinned his wide grin, telling me he knew that I knew but wasn’t the least bit ashamed. He brushed his lips softly against mine and whispered, “Thank you, baby. I can’t wait.” His eyes shone with excitement as he gave me another soft kiss. “But first, hot tub.” My eyes grew big and I shuddered.

We’d had to postpone our hot tub session the night before, since Nathan had already been in it. To my surprise he had been alone. I was sure there were more than enough willing women in town who would have gladly joined him, but when we walked outside onto the back deck, he had sat there alone staring into the distance while he was sipping his beer and listening to music. Nathan had always been the most level-headed of Jason’s band members. He knew how to enjoy himself and got around, but he wasn’t a player like the other ones had been, or at least he wasn’t as obvious about it as let’s say Murphy. He was honest but charming and sweet, and always treated every woman with nothing but respect. He even dated a few times back then and when he did, he never strayed. He was a good man and I had always thought that some woman would be lucky someday to snatch him up. Still, it was surprising that he was sitting in the hot tub by himself since I knew he wasn’t tied to anyone.

“Yo,” Jason had greeted him. “You almost done?”

“Done?”

“With the hot tub.”

Nathan glanced at me standing next to Jason, then at our firmly clasped hands, then his eyes went back to Jason and he grinned knowingly. “Nope. Just got in, but feel free to join me.”

“Fine with me,” I muttered, but Jason looked at me and shook his head.

“I wasn’t joking, baby. I didn’t bring my shorts.” My eyebrows went up in surprise.

“Neither did I,” Nathan murmured. I burst out laughing. Jason growled. “Easy, man. I was kidding. See?” He stood up and showed us the proof that he was indeed wearing shorts, then sat back down and grinned at a glaring Jason. “Nothing against a little flirting. You know I’d never poach.”

“We’re going to L.A. tomorrow. You coming?” Jason stopped glaring but his voice still showed his displeasure.

“You’re going to L.A.? Why?”

“To show Loreley around and introduce her to everyone. And she wants to go to Disneyland.”

Now it was Nathan who laughed. “Disneyland, huh?”

“Yup,” I answered, smiling.

“As much as I’d enjoy watching Lore meet Dana, I’m gonna pass. I just got here and I have to say I quite like it. Think I’ll stick around for a while.”

Dana? Who the hell was Dana?

I raised my eyebrows again at Jason, this time in question. He squeezed my hand in his and answered, “She’s our manager.” That explained who she was but not why Nathan would find me meeting her so interesting. So I prompted, “And?”

“And nothing.” My eyebrows went higher and if I’d have both my hands free, I would have crossed them over my chest.

“She’s got a thing for Jason,” Nathan explained.