Be Mine (17 page)

C
illa got out of her car and crossed the road to the mansion. She entered the open gravelled driveway on wobbly legs. God, she needed her fix, and she didn't have the money to even get a lick. Good thing she had enough petrol in her car, but she drove slowly because she almost couldn't control the vehicle, which made her scream in frustration. Except for the difficulty walking on stilettos, she looked composed even though her insides were shaking.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" She seethed before anxiety dropped on her like an atomic bomb. What was she going to say? How could she convince her supplier that she did the best she could? After the disastrous talk with Luke in his apartment, she had been locked out. Shit! Truth be told, she liked being with Luke even when it was a job she had been given so that her drug supply wouldn't be cut off. The whole time she had been with him, she couldn't gather any secrets her supplier had asked her to find. Yeah right, like fucking was going to get Luke to spill anything other than his release.

She made her way around the fountain that stood in the centre of the courtyard, the slight autumn breeze spattering the mist her way. Cilla flicked her hair away from her neck as she took the two steps to the entrance door. She straightened her spine and raised her hand to knock.

The door opened before she could do so.

"Come in, Cilla," her supplier said smoothly with a sardonic smile. He left the door open, loping back into the warmer confines of the mansion, leaving Cilla standing. She stamped out the trickle of humiliation she felt gnawing in the centre of her chest before she entered the threshold and closed the door behind her. She followed him across the marble foyer, past the huge plush living room, and out the patio where a large oak table with a demitasse of espresso patiently waited.

Her supplier sat down on the intricately woven chair. He crossed his ankle over his thigh before drinking from his cup. He eyed Cilla, who remained standing.

"You have news for me," he stated more than asked.

"I saw him." Shit! She just wanted to sit down. Her armpits and cleavage were beginning to sweat despite the cold blowing through. "There is someone else. I couldn't get to him."

"Of course you couldn't get to him." Her supplier looked at his nails. "You're a whore. You'd let anyone fuck you just to get your kicks." He looked up, his eyes cold. "Surely you have a lot you can use in that cunt filled bag of tricks."

"How the hell am I going to use that when I can't even get near him?" she snapped, raising a shaking hand against her hair. "It's so easy for you to do that. Why do you need me?"

"It's not your place to ask me, my dear. You need me, remember? And if I tell you to fuck a horse to pay for your habit, you will fuck an Arabian thoroughbred. Are we clear?"

Cilla gasped, her eyes widening in fear. "You're joking, right? Call me a slut, but I'm not into bestiality!" She knew her supplier's reputation. She knew of men and women who defied him and ended up either being sectioned or worse, dead. "I'll get your money."

Her supplier brushed the imaginary lint from his shirt. "I don't need money, Cilla. You know that. I asked you to do something so infinitely small so that your tiny brain could comprehend it." He tsked. "And yet you couldn’t do it."

Tears pushed like daggers from behind Cilla's eyes at the insult. She balled her fists to stop herself from crumpling in front of him. She hadn’t been like this before.

What the fuck has happened to me?

"Give me another chance and I'll find a way to get Luke Bryce."

"This is what you'll do." Her supplier's eyes narrowed. "I will think for you."

Moments later Cilla stared dumbfounded, her mouth slack.

Her supplier chuckled. "You look like a fish out of water, Cilla. Go ahead. Close and open your mouth."

Cilla clamped her mouth shut, mortification painting her face a dull red. They both heard a car rolling through the gravel courtyard. Cilla's supplier stood.

"Take the door by the kitchen," he said. "I don't want you to be seen."

"Fine." Cilla's chin lifted. "I need—"

"You'll find it on top of the bin outside of the kitchen door."

Cilla sucked in her breath, her chest concaving at the treatment she received. She knew she shouldn't allow him to talk to her that way, but what could she do? He was the only drug supplier she knew who didn't harass her if she didn't pay. That wasn't to say that he was lenient with his other buyers. He just blackmailed them or asked them for favours he knew they were willing to do.

Because they had no other choice.

She spun around on what suddenly became spindly legs, concentrating on just putting one foot after the other. She went down the few patio steps and turned the corner of the house just as female voices carried through the house. She found the packet lying on top of the bin cover, as though it was left there as a matter of fact. Her tears blurred her vision when she saw that there was also a wad of pound notes, more than enough to keep her body and soul together. Dear God, what kind of man was her supplier? What did he want with Luke Bryce? Relief and desperation kicked in when she saw that the packet was bigger than what she normally was able to procure.

Her head snapped at the laughter in the patio. Even her supplier was laughing happily. Cilla sank against the wall and closed her eyes, willing for the abject loneliness to subside. This wasn't her lot. She had to leave, to stop the sounds of joy sneering at her. She was a whore and a thief. There was no other worse combination as of what she was. Oh right, there was another one that trumped it. A whore, thief, and murderer. Thank God she wasn't the latter. She had no intention of being one either. She had enough sins for a business class ticket to Hell. Why the fuck did she have to be the recipient of a lousy set of cards in the game of life?

With hands that trembled like wind torn leaves, she opened the packet, licking her finger before dipping it inside. As soon as she rubbed the powder against her gums, she closed her eyes and exhaled. The effects were slow in coming but yes, she was beginning to feel it. Her security blanket had come back. The only inanimate object that would never let her down.

Problem was, she didn't know for how long.

She pushed against the wall and stood on steadier feet, her mind starting to whirl with possibilities. Once she did this job, she would disappear. She didn't give a fuck if she stole, as long as she was away from this godforsaken place. Guilt pricked her conscience, but she shoved it back. Now wasn't the time to have scruples.

Now was a time to grab the chance to start all over again.

*  *  *

Felicity Holbrook entered her room and dumped her parcels before sitting on the edge of her bed. Good God...she hadn't expected to see Luke in town. What the hell, it was nearing Christmas, wasn't it? Of course, he'd be around to buy gifts. However, from what her informant had told her, he used a personal shopper because he didn't like crowds. What changed? The woman with him, that was what. She looked older than her brother, but she had a ready and kind smile. Felicity suddenly took an instant liking to her just because. It was the look on her brother's face that froze her. She wanted to smile, to show him how happy she was that she had seen him again. When Luke's face morphed from shock, anger, then unadulterated hatred, she became tongue tied. She wanted to explain what had happened, even in the midst of the crowds that jostled around them, she wanted him to understand. But they had left, Luke pulling the bewildered woman with him away from her, making her feel as though she had some infectious disease and not the sister who had been willing to welcome him. She bent her head, closing her eyes. Her strawberry blonde locks fell forward to shield her face like a curtain. Her heart squeezed inside her ribcage. Fucking propriety of upper bloody class snobs!

A class she belonged to, detested for so many reasons, one of which being the loss of her brother. Thank God she had finally left and got her own flat she shared with her best friend, Corinne.

There was a knock on her door before Corinne entered. Her best friend's dreadlocks were piled high on her head, showing her graceful neck to perfection. Her diamond nose and eyebrow rings glinted in the room's light.

"Feeling better?" Felicity asked.

"Yeah." Corrine sighed and sat beside her on the bed. She raised her knee and inspected her toe. "But it's still bloody painful."

"Serves you right using summer sandals during pre-Christmas shopping," Felicity quipped.

"Whatever." Corinne placed her leg down. "So, that was your brother, huh?"

"Yeah." Felicity sighed. "Though I don't think he'd want to be reminded of that fact."

"You never told me about him," Corinne replied. "Want to tell me about it now?"

"It was a long time ago. Besides, what good would it do?"

"Might help you feel better, is all."

"Spit it out, Corinne. You're just being nosy."

"Guilty," her friend said, eyes twinkling. "So," she sat more comfortably on the bed and leaned back propped on her elbows, "go on then."

Felicity told her about how Luke became her brother.

"So? It's not like it was his fault," Corinne said. "I mean, sure, I can definitely understand your mum's anger, but it wasn't Luke's decision to come out."

"I tried to reach out to him, and I actually did." Felicity sighed, lying down. "Then something happened. I was supposed to meet Luke in a local village cafe, but somehow Mum found out. I made damn sure that she wouldn't know. She asked me to get some things which she said she desperately needed from town and by the time I got back it was past the time I was to meet my brother. I should have left a message with the cafe owner, but I thought I'd have enough time to do so before I met Luke."

"You could have called him."

Felicity looked at her best friend, bitterness creeping into her voice. "He didn't own a mobile phone then and I couldn’t risk calling him from the house. Payphones in the village didn’t work either."

"So how did you communicate?"

"I found his address among Dad's papers in his office at home, jotted it down and wrote to him. I gave him a post office address so that my family wouldn't know. I badgered him for a phone number and he finally gave me his landline, then I’d call him from a payphone when I went to town. Imagine that, Corinne. I had to hide wanting to see my brother." She exhaled in anger and frustration.

"Jenna and Lillian didn't like him either, I gather." At Felicity's silence, Corinne snorted. "Your sisters are snobs. Compared to them, you're Cinderella and they're the wicked step-sisters."

Felicity didn't refute what Corinne said because the moment they saw Corinne with her piercings and the tattoo on her wrist, they had avoided her like the plague. Her mother tolerated her best friend, believing that it was just a passing stage. In the end, Felicity decided that she had enough and left. Unknown to her parents, she, Corinne, and a few other friends had pulled their resources together while they were in university diversifying their investments between high yielding stocks, and getting a food franchise that both steadily increased their earnings. It was easy to leave her plush home knowing that by living frugally, she'd be able to make it on her own. She hadn't turned back since.

"You need to find a way to get in touch with him, Lissie," Corrine spoke up, using her pet name for her best friend. "If only for your own peace of mind. If he doesn't want to hear what you have to say, at least you know you did all you could."

Felicity hummed her agreement. Just then, her phone buzzed inside her purse. Scooping it out, her lips tightened when she saw who was calling.

"Dad."

"Felicity, how have you been doing, darling?"

"I'm sure this isn't a social call, Dad. What do you want?"

Her father sighed. "Your mother and I want you to come over for Christmas dinner."

"I can't. I already have plans."

"Felicity, no matter what crap you do, you're still family." He snapped, then in a softer tone added, "Your mother misses you. We both miss you."

"That's good." She placed her arm over her eyes. "Though I'm not so sure that's the truth."

She heard her father mouth an expletive. Her mouth twitched.

"Truce, Felicity...please."

It was her turn to exhale. "I still can't have Christmas dinner with you, Dad. But I will come over."

"When?"

"Whenever, I'll call you again." She ended the call.

"That bad, huh?" Corinne commented.

"Yeah, that bad."

Five weeks later...

"M
ummy, we need to get Luke ice cream."

It was their turn at the checkout counter. Theresa helped Gracie put the groceries on the conveyor belt while the cashier swiped the groceries through, a bland look on her face. The queue behind Gracie reached all the way to the back, the trolleys filled with food for the holidays. The more the aisles were stocked by the grocery staff, the more they were depleted. Several times Gracie saw harried staff go in and out of the store-room with pallets of merchandise. Organized chaos was the order of the day.

Gracie's eyes twinkled with amusement. "And why is that? It's getting colder and colder, sweetie. Besides, we have so much food already there isn't too much room in the fridge."

"But I heard him say that he was always hot," Flynn mumbled, looking up at his mother.

Gracie gave him a wary look. "Did he, now?"

Flynn nodded vigorously. "I always hear him say that to you."

"Oh." Gracie blushed furiously. She bent down to get more groceries and glanced at the cashier. She had lost the bland look, her eyes lighting up as though wanting to hear more of their conversation.

"You've swiped the butter through the sensor twice, luv." Theresa stared at the cashier. The cashier's apologized, two red spots on her cheeks. She frowned in concentration as she continued to pass the items through the beam.

"Gracie, I'll take Flynn. You finish here." Theresa took Flynn's hand. "C'mon, luv. Nana needs to sit down. My legs get tired after a while." Flynn obediently walked with Theresa to the bench three feet away.

Gracie blew out a sigh, smiling wanly at the cashier, who gave her an interested look. She kept quiet and couldn't wait to pay. Finally, her ordeal was over, and she pushed the cart towards the bench where Theresa and Flynn sat. Gracie stopped at the amused stare of her mother.

"What?"

"Out of the mouth of babes, Gracie."

"Mum!"

"What?" Her mother's eyes widened innocently. She stood up before her mouth turned to a gentle smile. "I've never seen you as happy as you are now, sweetie. That makes me happy too."

Gracie's own mouth turned up slowly in an answering grin as they all walked towards the exit and to the parking lot. Yes, she was happy, more that she had ever been. Just thinking of Luke made her insides flutter as though a host of butterflies rejoiced with her. Since that night when she had never felt so sated and spent from Luke's lovemaking, she saw the world with new eyes. Theresa told her that there was lightness in her step. Even if she had initially gently scoffed her mother's observation, Gracie did feel the change.

Particularly after she removed her wedding ring.

Her ring was practically a part of her, a protrusion on her finger not much different from an arthritic node. All her married life and even after Jonathan had died, she kept the ring despite of what her late husband had done to her. After the first time she was with Luke, she suddenly took notice of its existence. Its dull gold sheen seemed to wink wickedly, reminding her of Jonathan's lies. Sadness claimed her as she gently fingered it. She also realized one thing. Flynn was her one saving grace, but she wasn't the one who was inadequate, as she had been told. It was Jonathan who lacked the capacity to truly love someone else other than himself. With that thought, Gracie held onto the wedding band and pulled. It took a while, the band refusing to relinquish its hold on her, but she finally did it. As soon as the ring slipped from her finger, a huge weight that balanced itself on her shoulders gave way and fell into an unknown abyss. She felt immensely lighter and Jonathan's memory and influence even from the grave reluctantly vanished like the fog.

Luke was practically living with them now. He had asked Gracie to move in with him in the loft, but Gracie didn't want to uproot Flynn away from Theresa. They did however spend some of their weekends in Cheshire. Flynn was given the run of the house, never having a huge garden where he could play. When she had to return to work, so did he and not seeing him almost every hour of every day made her miss him terribly. But when Luke came home to her, the night sizzled with passion, each one desperate to make up for the lost time during the day.

The weeks passed all too soon since that day she literally bumped into Luke. She met Terrence and Serena, who had started seeing each other. At first, Serena felt uncomfortable around her, but Gracie let her know that she didn't hold any grudge.

Luke made her laugh, took her to candlelit dinners, and watched movies with her and Flynn. He had wormed his way into their lives and into their hearts. Even Theresa finally took a liking to him, teaching him Gracie's favourite dishes and started to fuss over him that sometimes Gracie giggled at the embarrassment on Luke's face. She also saw that Luke enjoyed it, the planes of his face relaxing, making him more boyishly handsome. Flynn had ceased staring at Luke and often wanted to sit on his lap until he fell asleep. Then Luke would carry him to his room and tuck him in.

But they never spoke of Jonathan. Luke didn't pry. Gracie didn't tell.

"You're a natural," Gracie had once said to him as they readied for bed.

Luke kissed her breathless before he spoke. "You think?"

She grinned. "Uh huh."

He lay down beside her, drawing her to his side. He looked up at the ceiling. "Maybe in time."

Gracie looked up at him from the crook of his arm. "Maybe in time what?"

He gazed down at her. "Maybe in time I'd want to have children."

She blushed. "Oh."

They didn't speak of it again.

What they did talk about was his life before his mother died. Gracie listened, her heart aching at the loss he experienced. Once Luke started, it was as though a dam burst, and he couldn't stop regaling her with stories of how, even if it was just him and his mother, they had wonderful memories of long talks, Christmas lunches with Terrence and his family, relaxing weekends helping his mother tend to the garden where she grew vegetables. And it all disappeared when she passed away, when he started making a name for himself, and when women wanted to live vicariously through his wealth.

Now as she and Theresa placed the groceries in the trunk, her heart swelled with emotion to almost bursting. Her eyes began to smart with unshed tears. Her whole body tingled and thrummed as though urging her to squeal with elation. She just felt like jumping up and down again. She wanted to just run into his arms and make him hold her, spin her around as their laughter surrounded them, and to never let go. Sometimes, the edge of irrational worry, the tug of skepticism pulled against the fragile ropes of her happiness. Could she ever trust her heart to someone again?

The memory of Jonathan swept her off her feet only to let her land hard on the gravel of reality, which twisted its thin fibres into her heart and mind. Then as though something burst forth from its moorings, Luke's face dominated her mind's eye. The way his eyes crinkled with laughter, the way they darkened when he looked at her before taking her to paradise. She remembered the way his hands felt against her skin as he cupped her jaw, massaged her nape, held on to her hair as he took her from behind or when she took him in her mouth. She felt the whisper of his skin against hers as they moved in sync with each other before bursting forth with their release. His mouth, oh the way his mouth teased her, electrifying every filament of her being, making her believe she would never be able to come back down to reality unless he allowed her to. And his tenderness. Who would have thought that the CEO of Bryce Engineering LLP had it in him when, as a client, he had been very demanding? Gracie giggled, then pressed her lips together to hide her smile. Luke could be demanding in bed. Thinking about him beneath her while she rode him almost made her knees buckle under her. The more she thought of him, the less she remembered what Jonathan looked like, the less she remembered the pain of betrayal. The more she was able to forgive. Luke gave her a chance to move on, replacing sad memories with new and happy ones. She didn't know how long this would last, but for now she'd take it and be thankful.

Because Luke had given her a reason to love again.

Putting the last grocery bag in the trunk, she gently slammed it shut. Theresa helped Flynn into the car seat before slipping in beside him at the back. Gracie turned around to both of them with a happy smile on her face.

"All set?"

"All set, Mum!"

Gracie switched the motor and eased out of her parking space.

"Let's go home."

*  *  *

Cilla watched the car leave the parking area. She counted a few more moments before she joined the traffic, keeping a close distance but not enough to be noticed. She was calm, composed, the drug in her system making her less jittery. Spaced out? Maybe, but for some reason, despite her perception of tunnel vision, she saw everything clearly, knew what she had to do as though she had a clipboard with a list of things to check after having done them. She watched the woman drive, her young son secure in the car seat behind. Beside the boy was an older lady. The grandmother? The nanny? She didn't care. She just needed to get this done and she'd leave, find another place to live where no one knew her. No one would know her past.

She swallowed, her taste buds quickly tasting the possibility of freedom. She couldn't wait for it to happen.

Soon...

*  *  *

Luke was leaning against his car with his arms folded across his chest when Gracie turned in the driveway. Her heart somersaulted at the grin he had on his face, reflecting an unspoken carnal promise. The sun was low on the horizon but it threw enough light to see Luke's smile. The streetlights chased away the gloom of twilight, making the dead leaves look like scattered copper sheets. As soon as Gracie switched off the engine, Luke strode towards them. He opened Gracie's car door, cupped the back of her head and proceeded to kiss her sensuously. Teasingly. Thoroughly. Gracie placed her palms against his chest, his body heat deliciously warming her skin.

Theresa cleared her throat. Gracie bowed her head against Luke's chest while Luke grinned.

"Hello, Theresa. How are my favourite girls doing?"

Theresa snorted. "That's not gonna work on me, Luke. You know that."

"Can't say I didn't try."

Gracie opened the trunk, and they all took the grocery bags out.

"Hey, mate," Luke greeted Flynn. "Looks like you did a lot of shopping."

"Yeah, but Mum didn't get you ice cream."

Luke arched his brow, looking at Gracie, who blushed.

"Flynn, go with Nana. Please." Her tone was gentle but firm.

"The weather's cold now anyway, Flynn," Luke interjected. "So that's okay."

"But you keep on saying you're so hot when Mummy's around."

"Flynn. Now!" Gracie said, brooking no argument. Her eyes flew to Luke, whose eyes twinkled in amusement as understanding dawned on his face.

"Let's go, Flynn." Theresa grabbed Flynn's wrist, dragging him towards the house. "You should learn to stop listening to big people's conversations."

"But—"

"To the house we go, and Mummy and Luke will follow."

Gracie heard Luke's chuckle. Her face reddened further with embarrassment.

"So Flynn heard me say that," he murmured, facing Gracie, placing his hands around her to cup her ass and bring her flush against his hips.

"Mr. Bryce, you're insatiable," she said, a rueful grin lifting her mouth. She turned her head towards the car, raising her hand with a grocery bag as well as the key fob. She pressed on the fob to lock the car's doors.

Luke snagged her around the waist again. She couldn't push away as much as she wanted to. A cold wind blew against her face, rustling the fallen leaves on the street. Some of the leaves, which had continued to hold on for dear life in the nearly bald branches let go, resigned to their fate. She turned her face against it to allow it to blow the tendrils of hair that wafted across her face. Facing Luke again, he caught her by surprise when his mouth swooped down to crush her mouth in a searing kiss. It heated her blood in no time, letting it flow like magma through her veins. She had no doubt that they would both heat up if Luke continued his onslaught. She moaned, opening up to him, a willing victim to his plunder. Her tongue played and teased. She nibbled as he did, pressing her body closer to his, desperately wanting to be under his skin. She sighed as his mouth left hers to travel up to her ear and lick the sensitive skin behind the shell. She shuddered when he sucked on the pulse at the base of her neck. She smiled when he nudged his arousal against her mound.

"He's right, you know," he murmured, his eyes dark with his desire. "You did well not to buy the ice cream. I like the heat we generate. I'll always like the fire we build. After all, the nights are getting colder and colder."

"Hhhmm." Gracie grazed her teeth lightly against the slight stubble on his jaw. "Wonder what the weatherman says for this evening. You know, we've been experiencing a lot of freaky weather. It might be warm tonight."