Bearing My Soul: A Paranormal Werebear Shifter Romance (5 page)

CHAPTER FIVE

I screamed and tossed the rake at them. It fell to the cold ground just a few feet from me, now useless. They were between me and the house. I turned and sprinted to the trail, hoping I could outrun them. The further I made it into the woods, the thicker the brush became and the thinner the trail. Vines and branches grabbed at my legs. I sprawled headlong to the ground, tired and out of breath.

I tried rolling on my back to protect myself. Before I could move, they grabbed my arms and dragged me deeper into the forest.

I squealed and struggled. Terror burned inside of me, but they were far too strong. They dragged me for several yards, further from the road, further from the houses, and shoved me hard into the ground.  I yelped.

One of them grabbed my wrists and brutally yanked them high over my head. The fat one sat squarely on my legs, his heft crushed them. I cried out in pain and horror, but they ignored me.

“What do you want?” I demanded. I attempted to sound angry, but my voice cracked and broke with every word.

“Just goin’ to have some fun, love,” the fat one sniggered. “Then, you can go home.”

“But Carl,” the man who held my arms spat, “you said when were done we hafta...”

“Shut up!” Carl snapped. “You just shut up and pin her down.”

I forced myself to acknowledge what they were about to do. I heard myself bawling in despair. I curled up inside and walled myself off from the hell of reality. “Please don’t!” I wailed. “Just let me go, please!” My stomach turned sick and I tried to imagine I wasn’t there at all.

Although I pleaded, I knew it was hopeless. Misery and despair poured through every inch of me. They had me there, alone, helpless. They were going to use me, then kill me. They had no mercy.

The third guy kneeled beside me and struggled to pull my coat off of me. The icy chill froze me instantly. Carl dug fat fingers between the buttons of my shirt. His breath choked me, as he ripped my shirt open and let the breeze hit my bare skin.

“Get off her bra!” the man holding my arms squawked.

“No,” I whimpered, then I screamed in a last ditch effort of desperation and gloom.

“Don’t scream!” Carl barked. I opened my eyes to see him pull out a large hunting knife. He brandished it in my terrified face with a big grin. “We don’t want to have to gut you like a fish, see?” He laughed, as I sobbed in total helplessness. A crushing terror squeezed my insides until I couldn’t breathe.

“Cry all you want little girl, but don’t scream!”

I jolted, as the man kneeling over me screamed. His shrill voice pierced the dusky air like a thousand pins.

“What the fu...” Carl’s words fell off midsentence. I looked up at him. The world moved in slow motion, as his horrified expression froze across his face. I watched, detached and bewildered, as the man kneeling beside me scrambled to his feet. He turned and raced back along the trail. Carl leapt off of me and ran, too. His boots thudded hard on the path. Glancing up, I saw the man who pinned my wrists look behind him. A low, thundering growl emanated from somewhere beyond.

He jumped over me and followed the other two in a dead run. Behind him loomed a dark, menacing animal. Its teeth were bared and its eyes narrowed with wicked fierceness. The demon lurched from the early dusk shadows and clawed its way toward me.

I choked on my screams, as I watched the horrid beast race at me. Drool hung from long sharp fangs. Its thick fur was matted with gory ooze. Its brute strength pulsed and rippled through its long legs. It bounded directly at me, snarling ferociously. Its claws dug into the soft soil as it ran. It was a devil freed from the hottest depths of hell and it looked angry.

I couldn’t move, but I managed to cover my head with my hands and scream. I screamed louder and louder, as the horrid beast pounded its way to where I lay helpless, and...

It leapt past me. Air rushed over my body as it flew over me and raced further down along the trail. I rolled over and sat up, stunned as I watched the back end of the beast round a turn in the trail.

The hunter’s wild screams rang out through the forest. I heard them make it to their truck, as the doors slammed. Several shots cracked in surreal violence. The truck engine roared and sped down the road. I heard the beast slam into the side, denting the metal with a dull crunch. Then, it was suddenly silent.

I sat on the cold ground. My torn shirt wafted in the breeze. It was just me, as I sat alone in the calm of the forest.

The snort of the beast reached my ears only seconds before it rounded the bend and came back into view. Its hideous claws sank into the ground with every step. It came toward me, but it never looked directly at me. Several bloody trickles ran down along one side.

I considered for a moment the possibility of running deeper into the forest, but I knew I could never outrun this beast. Instead, I offered pleading whimpers as I watched it.

It shook itself as it walked and its fur fluffed out. It grew larger the closer it got, becoming increasingly more... a bear.

By the time it walked past me, I recognized it as the light-colored bear that I had seen wandering in the yard. It sniffed at my back and stood directly beside me. It wasn’t until then that I realized how violently every muscle in my body was shaking. It patiently waited for me until I was able to push myself to my feet. It walked behind me again, nudging my back with its nose, as if to push me along the trail. Then, it strolled in front of me. Hesitantly, I began to follow.

The huge bear ambled lazily ahead. It frequently turned its head to be sure I was following. It led me back to the house. I stopped at the back door and stared at it, thoroughly bewildered.

With a sudden upward lunge of its front legs, the beast stood up on its hind legs. I stifled a scream as the monster towered at least nine feet up in the air. It stood only inches from where I was. It growled, snorted, and tossed its head back and forth. It grew smaller as I watched.

The thick matted fur receded into downy softness over deeply tanned skin. It shrank past the point of being a hideous demonic thing and quickly morphed into...

“Jonathan?” I gasped. I stood and stared at him in astonished dismay. “But...” My mouth moved, but no words came out. My brain reeled in jumbled circles, as I struggled to understand. My heart raced in longing and dread.

“But it’s not possible,” Jonathan finished my sentence.

I rubbed at my eyes, then looked back at him. I saw his dark brown eyes and thick blond hair. It was really him.

“You’re a monster!” I yelped.

“A monster?!” he objected gruffly. “I think I could give a pretty good argument that I was not the monster out here tonight.”

I stared down along his skin, his chest and stomach, his...

I looked sharply back up into his eyes, focusing there. “And you’re naked!” I shrieked.

He glanced down his own tall body and shrugged. “Yeah, that I have no argument against,” he conceded. He looked carefully at me, at last directly into my eyes. I felt like it was the first time he actually saw me, who I was, that I was really there. “Are you okay?” he asked.

I swallowed hard. I nodded. “I think so, just still in shock.”

He smiled grimly. His eyes touched over my face with a caring gaze. Then, travelled down my neck and briefly to my breasts.

Suddenly, I felt exposed. I quickly tugged my shirt around myself. Instinctively, I glanced down and saw that he had stiffened. When I looked up, I noticed he saw me peeking at him. He turned away in embarrassment.

“I’m starved,” he said flatly. “Do you have something to eat?”

“Would you like me to make you a sandwich?” I offered, as I opened the back door.

He shook his head. “After changing like that, I need to eat a lot more.” He pushed by me and burst into the kitchen. I followed him in. I watched in confused perplexity, as he flung open the fridge door. He yanked out the elk roast and slammed it down on the counter. He sniffed briefly at it before tearing the brown paper and ripping off shreds of meat. He seemed oblivious of me, as he consumed handfuls of elk. The blood dribbled down his arms.

I glanced down his side where the bullet wounds were closing over. Somehow, amid everything else, it didn’t shock me that he was healing so quickly.

From where I stood, I could see just under the edge of the counter. My breath caught. His most private parts were fully visible to me. His attention was focused completely on food. Cautiously, I watched his face, but he was intent on the meat. At that moment, nothing else mattered. I glanced down, again. His privates clung low on his muscular torso. My heart raced wildly with gluttonous guilt while I studied him.

It had relaxed again. His length hung long and thick over large testicles. His balls, tight against him, seemed to sway together as he chewed. His hair looked soft and inviting. His penis was only slightly darker than the rest of him and curved into a darker reddish knob.

I felt myself growing hot as I stared. My eyes ran up and down the length of his naked body over and over, but always paused on his manliness.

I almost didn’t hear my cell ring. Absently, I pulled it out and answered it.

CHAPTER SIX

“This is Andrea,” I had to force the words out past my heart as it throbbed in my throat.

“Hey sis, it’s Tammy. What’re you up to today?”

I swallowed hard. “I’m standing in my kitchen, watching a completely naked man eat raw elk on the counter.”

Tammy gave a nervous chuckle. “Okay, how inappropriate is that? So, I assume he has a nice ass, right?”

I breathed heavy. “Oh yeah,” I confessed. “But I’m staring at the other side right now.”

Jonathan stopped and looked up at me. He caught me staring intently at his penis. He growled and moved over, blocking my view with the counter. My face reddened hotly.

“What’s up?” I asked Tammy, as I slumped down in a chair at the kitchen table. I tried peering under the counter on the other side, but got nothing. I relented to staring at his chest.

“I was just checking in with you,” Tammy said, her voice growing distant. “We’re all still worried about you. Hey, don’t mention naked men around Mom, okay? I know you’re kidding around, but she seriously thinks you left the house just so you could screw some shifty stranger.”

“It’s our little secret,” I agreed. “Is she still thinking about coming after me?”

“She’s talked about it,” Tammy sighed. “I don’t know if she really has the nerve. It depends on how much she gets to drink.”

I struggled to talk. My throat felt dry and I was still shaking uncontrollably.

“Hey, Tammy, this really isn’t the best time right now. Can I give you a call back tomorrow or something?”

She hesitated. “Sure,” she finally conceded. “I’ve got homework anyway.”

“Bye,” I said as I disconnected.

Jonathan was slowing down, his appetite finally being sated. “I’m so sorry,” he moaned, as he stared down at the bone that was left. “I ate pretty much the entire thing.”

He tossed the papers into the garbage and washed up in the sink.

“Actually,” I confessed, “I bought it just for you. I was going to cook it and bring it over to you tonight.”

“You were going to cook it?” he raised his eyebrows. “Well, it’s lucky we caught you before you did that. It was perfect.” His face softened, as he studied me. He took a step toward me. “You got the elk just for me?”

I nodded. “I wanted to let you know that I was sorry about whatever I did that made you so angry with me. I just don’t want you to hate me.”

He grumbled and turned away. I stole a licentious look at his butt as he did.

“I don’t even know what it was I said,” I cried. “One day things are fine, then I see some huge bear in the back yard and come to ask you...”

My heart stuck in my chest. “Oh god,” I groaned. “I came over to your house ranting about needing to kill it. It was you... you’re the bear. I was talking about taking a gun and...”

“It’s okay,” he assured me. His voice was serene but resigned.

“No, it’s not,” I blubbered. “You have to understand, I’m terrified up here. Damn, the raccoons have me jumping out of my skin! I had no idea it was you that... are you dangerous when you’re... when you’re like that?”

He turned back to me. He shook his head. “It’s still just me.”

“What exactly are you?” I blurted out. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be blunt, but what exactly is it that you are?”

He took a long, deep breath and led me to the sofa in the main room. We sat down, my torn shirt falling open, his lusciously large gonads cupping between his thighs. I forced myself not to stare at them.

“I’m a berserker,” he explained.

I shook my head.  “A what?”

He smiled, but the frustration was evident in his eyes. “You can’t tell anyone, Andrea. Not anyone. Can I trust that you won’t?”

I swallowed, then nodded. He seemed hesitant, but satisfied.

“It’s called a berserker. It’s where the word ‘berserk’ comes from. Basically, I can turn into a bear.”

“Like werewolves turning into wolves?”

He twisted his mouth and shrugged. “Sort of,” he admitted. “We’re sometimes called werebears. I have the choice, whereas werewolves don’t. I’m more apt to turn during a full moon, but I can whenever I want to. Plus, I don’t lose control. No matter how frightening I look, it’s always still me.”

I took his hand and held it in his lap. I was alarmed and confused, but it was still not lost on me that my fingers loomed a fraction of an inch from the tip of his meat. The distraction was horrifying and delicious at the same time.

“So I’m safe with you, even as a bear?”

He nodded. “I’m no more dangerous to you as a bear than I am as a man.”

I took a deep sigh of relief. “I’m so sorry I said those things about killing you. I didn’t know. I didn’t understand.”

He lay back, covering a yawn with his hand. “And you still don’t understand, Andrea. There’s so much more you don’t understand.”

I moved so he could stretch out on the sofa. I took the blanket and covered him, running a loving hand over his strong arm and back. He fell softly asleep.

I allowed my hand to run down along his legs and over his hip. He was deep asleep, unaware of my touch. A burning desire blazed through every inch of my body. I longed madly to fondle his penis and gonads, to caress and love them, but forced myself to pull away.

Fighting back yearning tears, I grabbed more blankets and curled up on the floor beside the sofa. I just listened to him breathe.

The morning sunshine woke me. I reached immediately for Jonathan; but, he wasn’t there. I sat up and stared in dismay at the vacant couch. Then, I heard him rummaging in the kitchen.

I burst in, unable to contain my smile. It was hampered a bit, as I saw he was fully dressed, making breakfast. He caught my expression, but only turned away.

“I’m preparing you a nice hot breakfast,” he announced. He filled a plate with eggs and slid them in front of me. “I wanted to be certain you were okay this morning.”

The events of the previous day washed over me once again and I nodded. “I think I’ve lost my innocence and possibly my mind, but otherwise I seem fine.”

He grinned at me. My heart leapt. “Innocence isn’t as great as they say,” he mused. “Guilt is where all the fun is.”

My stomach tingled, as I thought about what he was saying. I caught my breath and reached out to touch his face. He pulled away, so I hid my hand on my lap.

“You really don’t need to worry about what you said before, about killing me,” he exclaimed. “It’s all okay. But, I really think you should seriously consider moving away.”

I felt the knife dig deeper, then twist. “What?” I objected. “But...but, we were finally talking things out. Besides, I really have nowhere else I can go.”

He leaned over the stove and grumbled. “I don’t want you here,” he snapped. “I really don’t want you here.”

He flung the pan into the sink, the hot steel sizzled in the water. He grumbled and refused to look over at me. Finally, he turned, burst from the kitchen, and ran out the front door. I heard him as he crossed the yard back to his house. The kitchen was painfully empty.

I spent the day hacking at overgrowth and mulling over what had happened. I couldn’t get my brain around what was going on or what I should do. There was a giant stone wall between Jonathan and I. Nothing I did seemed to allow me to get past it. I was left to peer in through the cracks in the wall where I caught mere glimpses of him. Sometimes those were glimpses of masculine nudity, but even that only made the craving more painful.

As dusk fell, I lit a roaring fire. Pleasure washed over me as the home warmed. I had finally started to learn how to live. At the same time, I was told it was already over.

I left the fire to tend itself and went to the bedroom. I stripped my sweaty work clothes off and stepped into the soothing heat of the shower. The water rinsed away the dirt, but the pain was much too deep for it to touch. I thought of Jonathan, imagining how it would have felt to have him hold me close and whisper soft loving things in my ear. I longed to cuddle into him, to tell him...

“No,” I said, my voice crying. The tears began and I started to shake. “No, please god, tell me I don’t love him. God, no!” The sound of my wailing echoed from the callous walls. At last, the pain ebbed enough for me to gain control and I stepped from the shower.

I pulled on a pair of panties, some comfortable pants, a thick sweater, and some warm socks. I shuffled out to the kitchen and warmed up soup for dinner. I stoked the fire with the iron poker before taking my dinner dishes back to the kitchen. I was more familiar with the house now and didn’t bother turning on the light as I walked up to the sink. The cold moonlight flowed over the yard. I looked up to see Jonathan standing out on his balcony. He was staring down at my house.

My heart lodged into my throat as I watched him. His expression was distant, lost, and sad. Even from that distance, I could see him clearly in the moonlight. For the first time, I actually saw him exposed completely. The pain, the frustration, the need, were all evident as he stood there unaware he was being watched.

My mind raced as a thought took form. A warmth filled my chest and stomach. I stared out at Jonathan and urgency overtook me.

Quickly, I walked to the bedroom. I closed and locked the door. I pulled the curtains open wide and stared up at him. He had a direct view into the room. The moonlight made it impossible for him to not see inside. I looked up at him. My heart thudded hard in my chest.

I took a deep calming breath. It didn’t help at all. My insides knotted tighter. I knew what I had to do. I knew it was what I wanted to do.

I pulled my sweater off over my head, as I stood in the open window. My round breasts basked in the bluish glow. It looked as though Jonathan’s gaze may have sharpened, as though he might be able to see something moving in the dark. I clenched my teeth, drew a breath, and struck a match. Holding a candle in one shaking hand, I lit the wick and set it on the windowsill. Glancing out, I could still see Jonathan standing on the balcony and the surprised expression on his face as he watched me.

I lit a second candle, and then, a third. Jonathan’s dark form became washed out in the glare on the window, but he was still there. More importantly, he was watching me.

I stepped back. My breathing became shallow, terrified, and excited. A fevered throb beat deep within my softness. My soul ached for his touch. I needed him to... not to hold, not to cuddle... what then?

I stood, exposed, and let him stare at me. Desire rolled through me, as I reached down. I refused to think about what I was doing. I unfastened my pants. They fell to my ankles. Nervously, I kicked them off.

I could still see his dark silhouette, as he watched me. He wasn’t moving. I closed my eyes, as I pushed my panties down over my quivering thighs and dropped them to the floor.

My eyes fixed to the distant wall and I allowed him to view me. I spread my legs a little and ran trembling fingers through my wavy hair, gently fluffing it for him. As my fingers lit over my engorged lips, my little nub screamed out in need.

My bed was directly behind me. I wanted desperately to lie there and show everything. I wanted to reveal my darkest secrets, as Jonathan observed me. Craving chills went up my spine. I was afraid my legs would buckle beneath me. I glanced back at the bed and imagined lying on it, legs spread, body and soul bare to him.

I was determined to share everything I was with him. I looked out. I could see him leaning with fervor over the railing. In the foggy darkness our eyes met once again, sparks ignited within me and connected me irrevocably to him.

I couldn’t breathe. I stood, exposed and naked, by the window. Everything inside of me ached, but I couldn’t move. After several mind-numbing minutes, Jonathan turned and went back inside.