Beast (A Righteous Outlaws Novel #4) (The Righteous Outlaws) (9 page)

“Couldn’t sleep. Had a lot on my mind. What about you?”

“Same thing.” It amazed me how there wasn’t a hint of exertion in his words while mine came in quick breathy succession. It was as if we were at a standstill chatting instead of running at a good pace.

“Anything you want to talk about?” I asked, even though I knew it was completely pointless.

“No. You?”

“No.”

“My house is coming up, but I can jog you back to your place.”

“That’s not necessary.”

“I’d say something, but I don’t want to be accused of being sexist.”

“Smart man,” I said, and flashed him a smile. He looked at me at that moment, and our eyes locked. There was so much darkness there, but it was as if I could almost see the light shining through. I wanted to reach out and grab for it, and pull it out of the depths of his soul where he banished it. “So, you were a Marine?” I figured it was now or never. I hoped my question would bring the light to the surface, but it did the exact opposite. A storm formed in his eyes, turning his dark eyes completely black.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he spat, as he came to a stop in front of a one-story ranch with a wraparound porch and a decent size front lawn. He let Beauty down, and she ran up the stairs of the porch to lie down on the wood.

“I saw your tattoo,” I said. “What I don’t get is how you were clearly proud of being a marine. You had to be with a tattoo that large. But now you’re devoting your life to a club whose members are criminals. How does that happen?”

“Shut up!” he growled. There was more than enough warning in his tone, but, once I became curious about something, I couldn’t stop myself from trying to get answers.

“I serve the people of our community. You served the people of our country. You and I at one point were very similar. I’m just curious what changed you.”

His lip curled and his breathing quickened. A vein pulsed in his neck as red-hot anger spread up his neck and across his face. I reached out, grabbing his bicep and hoping to offer a truce or something to show him I was being genuine. There was no motive behind my questions just general curiosity.

He turned his eyes to my hand, and he yanked his arm away from it. “Let’s get something straight here, darlin’. You and I were never similar. You have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about.”

“Did something happen?” I asked stupidly, and then bit my tongue as I realized desperation for an answer had taken over control of my mouth. I was now treading on dangerous waters.

The vein in his jaw ticked as his fists flexed at his side. I must have hit a nerve, which meant something did happen. But what? Was he in the war? If so, how many people did he see die? How many did he kill? Was that why he lacked remorse and regret? Because whatever happened to him during those years as a marine broke him down into an emotionless killer?

I couldn’t help myself. I knew I was pushing, but I wanted to know what caused the change in him, so I looked him in the eye, and continued my interrogation.

“Something did happen, didn’t it?”

He ran a hand through his hair, his knuckles turning white under the tension. His teeth grinded together and he twisted away from me, storming toward the house. I must have lost my damn mind because I chased after him. “What happened?”

He shoved the door open and Beauty ran inside. Beast turned from the door, that dark stare reached out and penetrated right into me. Hope coursed through my veins as his lips parted. I was finally going to get answers. I didn’t know why it made me so damn happy but it did. From the moment I met this man, I knew there was a story deep inside those eyes. I’d been curious from that very first day. “You can tell me,” I said and, with one final look, he slammed the door in my face.

A
ubree needed help
down at her shop and, since it turned out Cash’s stomach bug was really the flu, he was still at home recovering. She fed me every Friday night, so I figured I owed her. It was only a few shelves, and that would take no time at all…or so I thought. The problem was, she hadn’t decided where she wanted to put them yet, so instead of just showing up and putting up the damn shelves, I was holding them in different places around the shop so she could “get a feel” for how they would look before they were permanent.

When Miles was alive, he was always the one who got roped into helping Aubree, and he used to go on about how much of a pain in the ass she was. I always knew she was, especially after the whole Beauty issue, but this was taking it to a whole other extreme.

She stepped back, resting her hand on her chin, as she tilted her head from side to side. Her brown hair fell over her shoulder, and she swiped it away with the back of her hand. “I think I liked it better over there,” she said, and it would’ve been okay if she hadn’t said this exact thing when I was holding the shelves up to the other wall, and she pointed over here.

I tried to hold the growl in, but it rumbled up my throat despite my efforts.

“I’m sorry, Beast. I know I can be a bit picky.” She pulled at the hem of her yellow dress and shrugged. It still made me laugh that Cash, the scariest looking motherfucker, with his million tattoos—especially the bird that wrapped around his throat—fell for a girl whose entire wardrobe consisted of yellow dresses and yellow sweaters. It was never a surprise to anyone as to why he called her sunshine, that was for damn sure.

“It’s fine, Aubs. You want it done right. I get it.”

Her teeth slid over her bottom lip, and then she let out a loud sigh. “I used to drive Miles crazy.”

“I know you did, but trust me he loved it.”

“Do you really think so? Because ever since…well, you know…I’ve felt bad for always being such a pain in his ass.”

“Miles was a pain in all of our asses. If you asked me, he deserved whatever you gave him.”

“I miss him,” she said, and tears filled her eyes.

I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, and pulled her against my chest, placing a kiss on the top of her head. “We all do.”

I didn’t usually show emotion, or care much when other people did. I had become jaded to that shit a long time ago, but Aubs had become like a little sister to me, and I didn’t like to see her hurting.

“So, where do you want this shelf?” I asked, letting her go and focusing my attention back on the last spot we were debating.

She swatted at her eyes and sniffed. “I think over there is the winner.”

“You sure?”

She nodded and a smile spread across her face, making me happy to see the tears dry. I secured the shelf into place, and helped her stock it with a new line of bags she just got in. “I have some new dog clothes that came with this shipment. Some really cute dresses.”

“No.”

“Oh come on, Beast. Beauty deserves a dress.”

“No.”

“Just take it. On the house. A gift from me to her.”

“No.”

Aubree’s hands landed on her hips, and she tried to stand tall, but at five foot nothing it was far from intimidating. “Why not?”

“Do I really have to answer that?”

“Ugh! You’re impossible.”

“Tell you what. If you want her in a dress so bad, you take her for a few hours and dress her in whatever the hell you want.”

She sucked in an excited breath. “Really?”

“As long as she’s out of whatever monstrosity you put her in before you bring her back.”

“Deal!” Aubree said, and jumped up and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Maybe she can help me convince Cash to get a dog. He doesn’t think we’re home enough to have a dog, but I told him if we got something small like Beauty, she can stay at the shop with me all day.”

Cash was going to kill me, and the thought alone made the corner of my lip tug slightly. Giving Beauty up for a couple of hours to torture Cash was totally worth the hideous dresses Aubree was sure to put her in.

“Do you need me to do anything else while I’m here?”

Aubs looked around the shop long enough for me to regret offering. “Nope, I think I’m good. Thanks for helping me. Cash was insisting on coming here to do it, but I had to put my foot down. He has the flu, and he thinks he can just go about his day like nothing. I even had to hide his cigarettes on him. I don’t know what the hell goes through his head sometimes. If you’re practically coughing up a lung, smoking is not the wisest choice.” She shook her head and, this time, both sides of my lips tugged.

“He’s lucky to have you,” I said, and meant it.

“Darn straight, he is. I even had Martha make him her famous homemade chicken noodle soup that she used to make me when I was kid. It was a miracle in a bowl.”

Aubree might drive Cash crazy with her indecision, but he loved her something fierce, and she was good for him. He was a cranky fuck before Aubs came into his life, and she helped balance him out. I remembered what that was like. Having someone who smoothed out your hard edges. Who put up with your shit when no one else would. I swore I’d never want that again because the pain of losing it was too much to bear, but seeing Cash and Aubs together, Sienna and Kade and even Dice and Allison before they moved away, made me think maybe, despite the pain, for the time you did have together, it was worth it.

“Speaking of which,” Aubs said. “I have to get home to him. Make sure he didn’t have one of the guys drop off cigarettes.”

Oh he probably did. I thought about giving him a call to let him know Aubs was on her way home, but then decided there was no fun in that.

I walked Aubs out, and watched as she got into her car and drove off. I headed across the street to where my bike was parked, when my eyes met Willie’s. He didn’t see me, and I was grateful. For once, I wasn’t in the mood to swap looks of utter disgust. He opened the car door of his black 1972 Chevelle, which, funny enough, was very similar to Cash’s. The only difference was Cash’s was a 1970, and was passed down to him from his father.

I got to my bike, and grabbed for my helmet, when a loud boom and a wall of heat threw me to the ground. The sound of shattering glass and metal being ripped to shreds assaulted my ears. Debris pelted me from every direction. Heat rushed across my body, and my nose and eyes burned with smoke. Main Street warped into the desert and, just like that horrible day so long ago, I grabbed my chest and patted the rest of my body, making sure I was all there.

I went to get to my feet, but my legs shook so severely I couldn’t get my footing. The memories that only haunted me in my sleep were now all I could see, playing on rotation in my mind. I could hear the painful cries coming from Martinez… feel the shards of metal embedded in my thigh… smell human flesh burning.

There was nothing I could do. I was helpless to the memories. I pulled my legs into my chest and rocked back and forth, hoping like hell they would pass, so I could get on my bike and get the fuck out of here.

I had no idea how much time had passed, but I vaguely remember hearing sirens and feeling the spray of water from a fire truck. The sun that had been high in the sky when I left Aubree’s store had sunk into the horizon, God knows how long ago. But the visions were still there and, no matter how hard I tried to force them back, or to make them go dormant, they wouldn’t.

Dolan was bleeding out and, if help didn’t come soon, he would die. I promised him he wouldn’t die. But, looking down at him, I wondered if he’d be better off dead. I hated myself for thinking that. For even letting the thought cross my mind.

“You won’t die,” I said. “I promised you and I keep my promises.”

I thought I heard my name, but I couldn’t focus. All I could focus on was Dolan. On how he barely could grow peach fuzz on his face. How he should’ve been out partying with his friends from college, instead of lying in a mangled mess in front of me.

“Beast?” Her voice was like a key, unlocking me from my personal hell. I fought the onslaught of memories and focused on her voice. “Beast!”

The sand of the desert faded into the sidewalk of Main Street, and I was back in reality. “Annie?” I said, searching for her beautiful face. I glanced up, but, instead of finding Annie, I was looking right into Ryan’s eyes. They were lined with bags, and her hair was falling loose from its bun. I wanted to reach up, and push it back into place, but I still didn’t have control of my body.

“Are you hurt?” she asked, and I managed to shake my head.

She rested her hand, soft and warm, under my chin. “Look at me.” I blinked, trying to focus on the soft curves of her face, the straight edge of her nose and those beautiful brown eyes.

“If you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I can’t help you.”

“Flashback,” I managed.

Understanding crossed her face. “From your time in the service. The explosion triggered it. PTSD?”

I nodded. “I thought I was done with it. I guess it can still get triggered.”

Finally gaining all control back, I ran a hand over my face, wiping away the sweat that dripped down my forehead. I went to stand up but, with the adrenaline still pumping through my veins, I wavered.

“Whoa!” Ryan said, grabbing my arm.

“I’m fine.”

“Yeah and have you heard? Pigs can fly.”

“There’s that sarcasm your mother loves,” I joked in an attempt to lighten the mood. To make her forget that I was just cowering on the ground like a fucking pussy.

“Come on. I’ll take you home.”

I hitched my finger over my shoulder. “I have my bike.”

“There is no way in hell you are getting on that thing in your condition.”

“Like I said, I’m fine. It’s not the first time.”

“Either you let me drive you home, or you get on that bike and I pull you over at that stop sign down there then arrest you for driving while impaired.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Want to test that theory?”

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a royal pain in the ass?” I said, thinking of Aubree, and suddenly remembering a car exploded outside of her shop… a car that looked just like Cash’s.

“Not today,” Ryan said. “Now, come on.” She went to usher me toward her cruiser when I grabbed her arm. “What happened?”

She shook her head. “I don’t think we should talk about it right now.”

“Why not? I need to know.”

“What if it triggers you again?”

“It won’t.” I had no idea if it would or not, but I needed information, and it was a risk I was willing to take.

“Willie is dead. He was burned so badly that, if witnesses didn’t tell us it was his car, we never would have been able to identify him without dental records.”

“What caused the explosion?”

“They’re investigating that now. We’ll know more in a few hours.”

I grabbed both of Ryan’s shoulders, so she understood the severity of the situation. “I need to know exactly what the cause was as soon as you find out.” Desperation crept into my tone, and my grip on her arms tightened.

She lifted her hands to mine, and her gentle touch caused the tension coursing through me to ease. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“Willie drives a 1972 black Chevelle. Cash drives a 1970 black Chevelle. Cash is usually here at Aubree’s shop, and the only reason he wasn’t, and I was here, is because he has the flu.”

“You think someone tried to kill Cash? That this was a planned attack?”

Every cell in my body pointed to that very theory. “I don’t think. I know.”