Beast Denied (7 page)

And damn it. Why was she thinking about Tynan again? Because that bloody kiss had stirred things up, that was why. It had plunged her back into the past, to things she didn’t want to remember. To things she
wouldn’t
remember. Tynan wasn’t the only one who had moved on.

Nathan came back and flung himself onto the bed. “Want something to eat before we get down to round two?”

Seeing she had been denied her supper when Tynan came calling, Naomi nodded. “What’s on offer?”

Nathan pillowed his head on his folded arms. “Can heat up a pizza, toss some salad.”

“If you didn’t live in the middle of nowhere, we could get takeout delivered.”

He tapped her on the nose. “You love my pizza.”

“Right now I’m so hungry, I’d love anything as long as it’s remotely edible.”

He was silent for a few moments, watching her. “Feeling better?”

His soft inquiry gave her pause. “I’m fine. Relaxed, remember?”

Turning onto his side, he propped himself on one elbow. “Why don’t you shift and go for a run while I get supper arranged? Burn off some of that residual energy.”

Her insides jolted. Nathan didn’t know. Nobody knew. And she was planning on keeping it that way.

“Better still,” Nathan said, sliding his fingertip between her breasts, “why don’t we both go?”

Shit
. “I’m really not in the mood. I want pizza and sex. That’ll do me fine.”

Thankfully, Nathan rarely asked her to run with him. When he had, she’d always managed to get his mind off it by flashing her body at him. Now, she stretched languidly, pushing her breasts up toward his wandering hand.

“You’ve got sex on the brain right now,” he said, toying with her nipple. “Still want to experiment?”

“What did you have in mind?” She’d try anything once, especially if it got his mind off shifting and running together.

“I can set it up. A threesome.”

She threw her hands over her eyes. “Hell. Not that again.”

“So you’re saying you’re over it? No longer want to try it on for size?”

Despite what had happened last night, she couldn’t quite bring herself to deny she wasn’t still curious. “Didn’t say that.” She lowered her hands. “You’ve done it before; what’s it like?”

Still toying with her nipple, Nathan pursed his lips. “Intense. When it’s done properly.”

Intrigued, she tilted her head. “How do you mean, when it’s done properly?”

“The dynamics have to be right. Everyone needs to respect certain boundaries, expectations. If they don’t, it can be a disaster.”

“Has it ever been a disaster for you?”

He shook his head. “But then I’ve always gone in with someone I respect and trust. To my way of thinking, you can’t put a woman in that position if you don’t trust the other guy.”

Before she could stop herself Naomi asked the question she knew she shouldn’t. “Who was the other guy?”

He grinned. “Now that would be telling.”

“Oh, come on. You males love to spill. Was it Caleb?”

“Maybe.”

Hell
. She couldn’t resist. “Tynan?”

“Same answer.”

His cocky grin infuriated her. Now she was beyond intrigued. “Just how many times have you indulged, exactly?”

“A gentleman never tells.” When she shoved at his shoulder, he laughed. “The thing is,” he said. “If it’s something you want to try, then let me set it up.”

It was almost too tempting to contemplate, but she had a feeling it was best to simply cut her losses in the ménage-indulging stakes. Not that Nathan would let things drop that easily. The gleam in his eye told her as much. So she cocked her head. “With Caleb as third? I don’t think Talia would agree to that.”

“Funny.” He tapped her nose. “I wouldn’t dare ask. Seeing as Caleb won’t let another male so much as breathe near Talia without threatening to slice off his balls.”

“Definitely not wise to ask, then.” She hiked up to sitting, reluctant to contemplate what his next suggestion would be. Or rather, who. “So, let’s get that pizza you promised me.”

He pulled her back down. “How about Ty?”

Double hell
. “I’m not his favorite person. And he’s certainly not mine.”

She had no idea if Tynan had told his friends about their liaison almost a decade ago. She certainly hoped not. And from Nathan’s blank expression, it seemed he wasn’t aware that he was poking a stick at a sleeping snake.

“You can trust him to play it safe,” Nathan went on, oblivious to her trembling nerves. “And he’s certainly not the kiss-and-tell type.”

So it would seem. Naomi scrambled up again and reached for one of Nathan’s discarded shirts.

“I’m rapidly going off the idea anyway,” she said, pulling his shirt over her head. “Maybe it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.” She glanced over her shoulder and, seeing Nathan’s sexy grin, raised her eyebrows. “You’re going to tell me it is.”

“Like I said, get the dynamics right. It can pretty much blow your head off.” Another wicked grin. “In more ways than one. Ty’s got some fucking amazing moves. Always leaves the ladies with a smile on their face and begging for a repeat performance.”

Oh damn
. Now she was getting hot again.

She almost fell over her own feet in her haste to get out of the bedroom. Hurrying down to the kitchen, Naomi tried desperately to shake off the image of Tynan and those moves that could make a woman beg. Another image replaced it. A flash of memory. Of her weeping. Of Tynan trying to placate her, telling her it was all okay and there was nothing to concern herself about.

In the kitchen, she got pizza out of Nathan’s freezer, popped it into the microwave and closed the door. She stared at the glass door, images of that night on the moor flickering in her mind’s eye.

It was her eighteenth birthday. She and Tynan had been seeing each other in secret for almost six months, since the day he had kissed her full on the mouth and turned their friendship into something more powerful and needy.

She’d wanted him to be her first. Had planned for the day when she lost her virginity to him. Her parents had been alive then, but despite her mother’s best attempts, her birthday hadn’t been a stellar affair. Mostly because her father was in one of his moods. The kind that made everyone in the immediate vicinity run for cover. She had almost counted the hours until she and Tynan had escaped to the moor. He’d parked his battered old car and they had stripped off their clothes. A little embarrassed, Naomi had avoided looking at him. She’d kept her eyes closed while he’d talked her through her first transition, teaching her how to use her emerging power to change form gradually and with control. Eager for the experience, she’d been a quick learner and was soon reveling in her primal state and the newfound freedom it provided. They’d run side by side, covering parts of the moor unknown to Naomi before her change to feline form. It had been exciting and exhilarating.

After what seemed like hours, they returned to where the car was parked and shifted back to human form. Naomi had stared, mesmerized by Tynan’s nakedness. In turn, he had raked his gaze over her, his eyes gleaming. In that moment, he made her feel like she was the most desirable female he had ever seen.

Nerves danced as he continued to peruse her body, and the feelings she had were so much more intense than the ones she had whenever she dreamed of Tynan touching her.

He’d coaxed her down to the ground, kissed her, then slid his hand down her body. So slowly, so gently. His fingers felt wonderful sliding over her mound, and she’d opened her legs just a fraction, wanting more.

The strength of his hand, the pressure of his touch—all so very different from her own touch on those nights when she’d imagined it was Tynan’s hand, not her own, sliding between her legs.

Her body tingled with new sensations, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. And she ached so badly at her core. She knew the dampness there was due to her own arousal. Knew that the wet feeling against her thigh was precome from Tynan’s erection. She knew all that from her searches on the Internet, from the books she read and from conversations with her friends when she’d feigned experience and joined in their tales of sexual encounters.

Everything had been so wonderful. Tynan had been patient, understanding. He had gone so slowly. She knew she wasn’t his first, that his name had been mentioned in those tales of her friend’s sexual encounters. But she really liked him and wanted him to be the first man to make love to her.

He’d stroked her skin, kissed her breasts until the nipples were really hard and almost painful. He’d dipped his finger inside her slit and stroked her slowly and easily.

Lost in sensation, she had tried to reach for him, curious as to how he felt, but he’d gently pushed her hand away.

“Tonight is about you,” he’d said, his eyes glinting in the moonlight. “This needs to be something you’ll remember. The first time with a male should be special for a girl. It should pave the way for all your future experiences.”

With those words, the first niggling doubts had set in. She couldn’t blame him in retrospect, seeing as she’d all but thrown herself at him and begged him to make love to her, to be her first. While they’d taken their friendship to a new and different level with that full-on kiss, and Naomi had fallen for him big-time, she realized he didn’t feel the same. To him, she was just another girl. One he was happy to fuck, before moving on.

Although she had tried not to let the thought change anything, nerves had turned to full-out tension, and when he pressed another finger inside her and pushed deeper, she’d let out a little squeal.

“Relax,” he said, stroking her. “If you tense, it’ll be even more difficult for you.”

But instead of relaxing her, his words had the opposite effect. The tension heightened when he slid on a condom. She watched, her heart almost thumping out of her chest. He moved over her, nudging her legs apart, until she was bordering on distraught. She tried so hard to relax, not to show her distress, but she simply couldn’t.

He slid his hand under her buttock to raise her hips a little. The first press of his erection felt like a dull blade against her sensitive flesh. She was determined not to squeal again, because she wanted Tynan. So much. But he was pushing deeper, and everything inside her stiffened and felt so tight. She went rigid.

Braced with his hands beside her shoulders, Tynan stilled. “You okay?”

She gritted her teeth, her jaw tight, so that all she could do was nod.

“It can hurt…the first time…let me know if you want to stop.”

She nodded again. She’d heard tales, mostly from her friends, about just how much it could hurt. It could be painful for any female, but for shifters, it was worse. Something about their transition to full panther state and then reversion to human.

Tynan tried again, this time inching in farther. He felt too big for her tight channel, and she couldn’t help but tense further against his stealthy invasion. It burned, and she tried to move away from him, pushing herself back against the ground.

He froze above her, his breath coming in jerks. “Want me to stop?”

Yes
. She hadn’t expected it to be like this. She was so furious with herself for being so tense, especially when she’d planned for this, longed for this, for such a long time.

She shook her head. “I’m…okay. I don’t want you to stop.”

He waited a few moments, staring down at her, then began pushing forward again.

The burning pain stole her breath and she thought she might die when she couldn’t take in air. Her throat hurt, her chest squeezed, and between her legs, the pain intensified. He was too big, and it hurt so much.

Tynan gave a groan and pushed hard. The pain was so severe, it brought tears to her eyes. She squeezed them shut, arching her head back when, with one final thrust, he was in all the way. He didn’t move, and she opened her eyes to find him looking down at her.

“Okay?”

She gave him another nod, and he began thrusting his hips. The sharp pain had lessened, but it still hurt when he moved. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, was it? How come all her friends waxed lyrical about how great it was?

She closed her eyes again, willed herself to let go, to find a way to focus on the fact this was Tynan. But it was impossible. Even making love with the one she’d wanted from the moment her teenage hormones kicked in, and she’d seen him for the strapping male he was, didn’t take away the piercing discomfort each time he shoved himself inside her.

Despite clamping her teeth down on her lower lip to stop from squealing, she must have made a sound, because he stopped moving and drew back, giving her precious moments of blessed relief from the rasping soreness inside her. The look in his eyes scared her. He was going to stop. As difficult as it was, she didn’t want him to do that, because if he did and withdrew completely, she knew he would lose interest in her. She would revert to the friend, the companion, she’d been to him for so long. He would never again see her as a woman,
want
her as a woman.

She couldn’t bear that.

“I’m okay,” she said, trembling a smile. “It hurt, but it’s fine now.”

His dark eyes narrowed as if he didn’t believe her. She managed another wobbly smile and slid her hands down to his backside, squeezing to coax him to continue. She kept the smile on her face, arched her breasts to him.

He took a deep breath and pressed forward again. She knew that women made noises, sounds that made the man think she was really enjoying it. So Naomi copied what she’d learned from the movies, books, her friends. She said his name, over and over, as much to help take her mind off the returning discomfort as to convince him of her pleasure.

Tynan threw his head back, and she felt him come inside her.

All she could think was that it would now be over.
Thank God
.

Tynan slumped against her, and she closed her eyes against the sting of tears. She felt the hitch in her throat, in her heart. He lay there, still deep inside her, and she wanted to get away. Get away before she embarrassed herself and turned into a sniveling wreck.