Beautiful Blemish (12 page)

Jin nods her head. She wonders how she should act. Scared?
Stern?
Sympathetic?
She does this thing with her hands when she is nervous. They scrunch up like claws.

You learned everything faster than me, he says. I didn’t really try to read until I discovered
Shel
Silverstein. I liked his stuff because it rhymed and the pictures didn’t distract me. The Missing Piece was my favorite book.
I sort of felt like that thing, that Pac Man shape.

Jin looks out past the playground. There are tall trees everywhere. Maybe some places for her to hide.
Trails leading off to other parts of the park, closer to town.
As the sky gets darker, she can hear sounds coming through the trees.
Maybe animals or insects or a stream of cold water.
She smells rain.
Richard’s voice changes.
He is singing:

Oh, I’m
lookin
’ for my
missin
’ piece

I’m
lookin
’ for my
missin
’ piece

Hi-
dee
-ho, here I go,

Lookin
’ for my
missin
’ piece

Richard clears his throat quietly, looks over at Jin. That was some really deep stuff, he says. I mean, he just rolls along looking for that little pizza slice shape to go into him so he can be a complete circle; so he can be whole. But then he finds some pieces and they either don’t fit right or he holds them too tight and they break. But then he finds a piece that fits right, like perfect. But it makes him just roll real fast and he can’t enjoy the things he used to enjoy before. He can’t say hi to the worm or stop by the flowers or let the butterfly land on him. He just moves too fast. He can’t even sing his song. And you know what he says? He says,
So
that’s
how it is! And he lets the piece out. He lets go of the missing piece. I used to cry when I read that.
Every time.
I thought I was that little Pac Man guy.

Jin remembered parts of the book as he described them. She tried to recall another book about the missing piece that
Shel
Silverstein wrote, called something like The Missing Piece Meets the Big O. She wondered what happened in that book. It started raining. She was afraid to say anything or look at Richard. She thought he was crying. She hoped he was crying.

John gave me the keys to room 710. It was one of the nicer rooms. It had a Jacuzzi instead of a regular bathtub. He joked about giving us some free porn on the TV too. I bought flowers, candles and wine. She said she was bringing a cake, ice cream, whip cream and a surprise. I thought about her all day. I thought about a lot of things. I had to tell myself to calm down. There’s a knock on the door.
A soft knock.
A Jin knock. Jin
Soo
.

She gives me a kiss and a warm, swaying hug. She says the cake and everything else is coming up any second. She goes into the bathroom and waits until she knows it’s delivered. She changes in there and calls out something about the cake.

What? I ask.

Put the cake in the fridge and don’t look at it, she demands. And the ice cream in the freezer. Open your first present.

It’s wrapped in Korean paper. I try to remember how to say,
You’re
the best present, in Korean. I learned it earlier today off the Internet, but I’ve already forgotten. I carefully peel the tape back and slip the wrapping off. It’s a children’s book by
Shel
Silverstein. I ask her if she’ll read it to me later.

She opens the door and leans against the frame, nervous and smiling. How do you like your present?
she
asks.

I look at her and freeze. Which one, I want to ask, but I don’t say anything. I just stand here and look at her—red lace and brown
skin, that
perfect face, her fidgeting hands. I start to walk toward her and she starts to walk toward me.