Along the silent paths of years I return to the fires, and to the men who light them. We are older, and our passion is more complex and less easily tossed aside. We have worked and earned the right to ask for what we want.
There was quiet David, who made love to me next to a towering shelf of books, his hands moving over me like clouds, while my eyes drifted to the titles beside me until he noticed and took my jaw in his hand and returned my attention to his laughing face. David, who was lean and light and whose armpits I could never get enough of licking; David, who took his pleasure in silence, rarely talking, waiting to cry out as he shot into my mouth while sucking on my toes.
There was Tom, who shattered my complacency by kissing me all around the room, and who ran his hands over my body as I drank in the sight of his. Tom who made me feel new, and who made me wake up, and who made me think about where I was and what I wanted. Tom, who fired a full magazine of affection in my direction, and who reminded me of Silverlake in 2001, except this was Asheville in 2009. He was all razzed-up energy and oversized sunglasses and Diesel jeans and mannerisms of urban hipsterdom that had guttered out long ago. I wanted to say, “Baby, I did that in L.A. years ago, I’m not that now,” but I didn’t, and all I thought about was the way it felt when he touched me, and the way it felt to fall asleep with my cheek pressed into the tight and scratchy curls of hair on his beautiful chest.
There is a way to connect. There is a way to be grown up. And there is a way to find my way to the center, to the fire, to the touch, to the kiss, to the giving over. There is a way to do all that and not give up. But I wanted to. I wanted to forget it all and to give myself completely to a man who was still finding his center. I could see the rain coming, and I watched it and recognized it, and when he vanished, and the rain arrived I did not burn out.
Desert landscapes and open roads, ice storms and floods. Elusive and flickering but not unworthy. There it is, again, on the horizon. Words on paper and a voice on the phone and no idea of the man’s body. Strong words, words that have touched me long before I knew there was desire for me. Words that embraced me as I struggled back to my feet. A voice that laughs in my ear and tells me stories. God, how I want this man. And he is coming toward me. And all that I have learned, and all that I have cast off, makes me open. At last.
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
MICHAEL BRACKEN’s
short fiction has been published in
Best Gay Romance 2010
,
Biker Boys
,
Country Boys
,
Freshmen
,
Homo Thugs
,
Hot Blood: Strange Bedfellows
,
The Mammoth Book of Best New Erotica 4
,
Muscle Men
,
Teammates
,
Ultimate Gay Erotica 2006
and many other anthologies and periodicals.
ERIC DEL CARLO
(
ericdelcarlo.com
)
has been published in numerous anthologies over the years, most recently in Circlet Press’s
Queerpunk
. His novels and novellas are available at Loose Id. Look for new work in
Best Erotic Fantasy & Science Fiction
and
Only in the City
.
DALE CHASE
(
dalechasestrokes.com
) has been writing male erotica for more than a decade, with one hundred twenty-five stories published in various magazines and anthologies, including translation into German and Italian. Her first story collection,
If the Spirit Moves You: Ghostly Gay Erotica
, is from Lethe Press.
DAN CULLINANE
is a freelance writer and teacher in Eastern Tennessee. He has been published in various Cleis and Alyson anthologies and is blessed to combine two aspects of his life: the written word and outdoor adventure, teaching etymology, literature and creative writing to students in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains.
JAMIE FREEMAN
(
jamiefreeman.net
) has known many truly beautiful men in his life. This story is for his good friend, the beautiful Jonathan. Jamie’s stories have appeared in a wide variety of anthologies and e-books.
BARRY LOWE’s
(
barrylowe.net
) short stories have appeared in
Cruising for Bad Boys
,
Surfer Boys
,
Hard Hats
,
Time Well Bent
,
The Mammoth Book of New Gay Erotica
,
Flesh and the Word
,
Best Date Ever
,
Boy Meets Boy
and others. He is also author of
Atomic Blonde: The Films of Mamie Van Doren
.
MATTHEW LOWE
(
matthewlowe.com.au
) is a young Australian writer. His work has appeared in a number of journals and anthologies, including
Best Gay Romance 2008
. A recipient of an Express Media Mentorship Award, Matthew’s work appears here alongside that of former mentor Andy Quan.
PHILLIP MACKENZIE, JR.
is an occasional writer of raunch for fun and profit. His stories have appeared in
Hard Drive
and
Boys in Heat
and in the late, lamented
Freshmen
magazine. He divides his time between Los Angeles and Tennessee, with long stretches behind the wheel of his pickup.
TOM MENDICINO
spent six raucous years eking out a living in the sales departments of several New York publishing houses before attending the University of North Carolina law school. Since 1994, he has practiced as a health-care lawyer; his debut novel,
Probation
, was published in 2010.
ANDY QUAN
(
andyquan.com
), Canadian-Australian, is the author of one collection of short fiction,
Calendar Boy
; two of poetry,
Slant
and
Bowling Pin Fire
; and one of gay erotica,
Six Positions
. His work has appeared in a broad range of anthologies, magazines and literary reviews in Australia, Canada and elsewhere.
SIMON SHEPPARD
(
simonsheppard.com
) is the author of six books, including
Sodomy!
,
In Deep
and
Hotter Than Hell
and edited the Lammy-winning
Homosex
. His work appears in more than three hundred anthologies, and his weekly column “Notes of a Cranky Old Fag” is online at
CarnalNation.com
. He absolutely loves beautiful boys.
CECILIA TAN
is the author and editor of many books of erotica, including
Boys of the Bite, Edge Plays, Royal Treatment
and
Magic University
. Two gay novels are being published serially on the web,
The Prince’s Boy
weekly on
circlet.com
, and
Daron’s Guitar Chronicles
, three times a week on
daron.ceciliatan.com
.
ROB WOLFSHAM
(
wolfshammy.com
) has appeared in several anthologies, including
Best Gay Erotica 2010
,
Muscle Men: Rock Hard Gay Erotica
and
College Boys: Gay Erotic Stories
. He lives in Dallas, Texas.
GERARD WOZEK
is the author of the short-story collection
Postcards from Heartthrob Town
. His debut collection of poetry,
Dervish
, won the Gival Press Poetry Book Award. He teaches creative writing at Robert Morris University in Chicago.
ABOUT THE EDITOR
RICHARD LABONTÉ
([email protected]) was a gay book-seller for twenty years, has written book reviews for more than thirty years and has edited about thirty gay anthologies (mostly erotic) for Cleis Press and Arsenal Pulp Press. He lives on Bowen Island, a short ferry ride from Vancouver, with husband Asa Dean Liles—who, despite meeting Richard in a gay bookstore, is not a reader, though he’s happy to bring packages with book galleys and finished books home from the post office. Several editions of the
Best Gay Erotica
series, which Richard has edited since 1996, have been Lambda Literary Award finalists, and two have won, as has
First Person Queer
(Arsenal Pulp), coedited with Lawrence Schimel.
Copyright © 2010 by Richard Labonté.
All rights reserved. Except for brief passages quoted in newspaper, magazine, radio, television, or online reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
Published in the United States by Cleis Press Inc.,
2246 Sixth Street, Berkeley, California 94710.
eISBN : 978-1-573-44559-7
“Tides” © 2010 by Michael Bracken. “The Cream in His Coffee” © by Eric Del Carlo. “Palomino” © 2010 by Dale Chase. “A Litany of Desire” © 2010 by Dan Cullinane. “Bookended by Beauty” © 2010 by Jamie Freeman. “Beauty, Mate” © 2010 by Barry Lowe. “Sea Monsters” © 2010 by Matthew Lowe. “The Raft Race” © 2010 by Phillip Mackenzie, Jr. “A Little Night Music” © 2010 by Tom Mendicino. “That Embrace” © 2010 by Andy Quan. “On Spanking the Most Beautiful Boy in the World” © 2010 by Simon Sheppard. “The Inner Game of Chess” © 2010 by Cecilia Tan. “Boy Curation” © 2010 by Rob Wolfsham. “Hyacinthus in Bloom” © 2010 by Gerard Wozek.