Beautiful Force (2 page)

“Stop,” she tittered. “You know I have an oral fetish that I can’t satisfy.” 

“How can we cure this problem?” Jace asked in a very professional tone, unflinchingly.
 

Allison’s smile recoiled and her voice turned serious. “I don’t see it as a problem,” she retorted as she stood up and threw the pen at Jace. “Why are you asking me so many questions?” She resisted when he grasped her small waist, pulling her back down beside him. “I’m the one who’s supposed to ask—questions—the questions,” she stuttered. “There are some things...you’re not privy to.” Allison shook her head, clearly annoyed.
 He sensed at that point, their playful banter was on the brink of death.

She’s right
, Jace thought.
Her private life was really none of his business.
Nonetheless, he wanted to understand her. Jace wanted to know why she had to fight all the time to have the upper hand?
Who hurt this woman? Why was he so drawn to her?

If he were being honest with himself, he would admit that most of the time Allison wasn’t even likeable. Yet, he felt so connected to her, and their connection
defied logic. However, the real problem existed still, and Jace knew that he could not leave without telling her the truth, although if he did she might think that he was, in fact, crazy. Hell, half the time he thought he was too.

“Sorry. I’ll try not to pry in the future,” Jace apologized. His eyes dropped from her face to her neck. “Well, I’m glad you like the necklace.” He sighed, twisting his gold wedding band up and down on his finger.
 

“Yes, I love it.” There’s that word again. She gushed and seductively slid into his lap and planted a kiss on his unshaven cheek. “I like everything that you gave me today.”

“Like...or love.”

The room fell silent. Allison hadn’t expected Jace to pick up on every small detail of her vocabulary. He had her under a microscope. This made her extremely vulnerable.

Locking his eyes with Allison’s pretty green eyes, Jace leaned into her and pressed his forehead against hers. They sat quiet for a long moment. Her heart still beat erratically, but that had to be the effects of the alcohol. Although she hadn’t drank too much, she never did, staying in control of any situation was at the top of her list. When Jace was near Allison felt as though she was high, she didn’t need drugs to heighten the effects he had on her. Jace was her drug, but he didn’t know this, and she would be the last one to confess this to him. She had waited two years for this moment and wasn’t about to lose her plot now.

“I wish I could stay like this with you forever,” Jace whispered, so quietly that his words were barely audible.

It was at that moment, Jace knew exactly what he needed to do, but instead he pushed back the thought. It suddenly occurred to him just how cowardly he could be. He knew he’d burn in Hell one day for things he had done in his life. Jace wanted to unload the truth—everything that he’s been hiding from her, but he just didn’t have the guts to ruin the moment.

Jace wanted to consume her, possess her, but he didn’t want to push her away. She was delicate, and emotionally fragile, even though she came across as the most independent woman he’d ever met. Jace knew, better than most, when the time to act passes you by, it is gone forever. The secret that he’s been keeping would render Allison speechless, amongst other reactions. No telling what it would do to her.
 No one would believe him so how could he expect a woman of logic to understand the impossible?

He needed a diversion, a plan. He had to handle Allison with strategic finessing, or risk losing her forever, but time was running out. He was losing her attention with every passing minute. The walls were coming up.

Reaching up, Allison placed her palms on both sides of his gorgeous face. She leaned back to observe Jace. He closed his eyes, and she proceeded to kiss each one of his eyelids. He was as handsome as ever. Something was needling her though. There was a tension in Jace’s body. She wondered if she had pushed him too far in today’s session. Was he going to reject her now? She couldn’t stand the thought of being rejected. Her own father had done that one too many times. He had never even told Allison that he loved her. Not once in her life. Now Jace...she could feel something wasn’t right. Humiliation burned through her veins. The feeling was all too familiar. There was no way she would allow this to happen. Not to her. Not again.

A smile rose to her face and then quickly broke. Jace examined her closely. Clearly, she felt uncomfortable with being so close and intimate. He knew intimacy wasn’t her forte.

In a flash, Allison promptly scooted off of his lap.

Her eyes shifted to and fro as she skirted across the wooden floor. Suddenly, Allison stopped in her tracks and turned toward him. A serious expression formed on her face.
 

 
“Damn, for someone so well-endowed—I’m not sure why you walk around feeling so insecure all the time? I mean, God blessed you with that incredible instrument,” she exclaimed, her pitch rose and fell breathlessly. “But as they say, all good things must come to an end. It’s time for you to go,” she said bluntly, without a sense of emotion, tossing his shirt onto his lap. 

How could she go from being so hot one minute
to so cold the next?
Jace thought. Ultimately though he expected nothing less from her. “No, it’s early. I want to stay a while longer. I’m staying,” he firmly said. He needed to stay in control.

She noted his strong tone. He was extremely demanding, which was unlike him.
 

Allison charged toward him, halted abruptly and raised her hands toward him then allowed her palms to settle on her hips and glared at him. “Did you just say no to me?”
 

“Yes I did,” he retorted, a lazy cocky gaze formed in his eyes. “I’m staying.”

“Well, suit yourself. You’ll have to sit here all by yourself because I’m meeting my father for dinner.” Her intonation was testy. She flung around turning her back on him. 

“If that’s your problem, I can be ready in a minute. I’ll even pick up the check. It would be my honor.”
 

“What?” Pivoting on her heels back toward him, she stammered. “No. Are you kidding me? That would be disastrous after what just happened between us. Besides how would it look showing up with you? My father would detect immediately that we-we—” She shook her head
no
and batted her lashes, waving one hand between the two of them. “Forget about it. You’re not welcome.” 

“I’m just teasing you,” he half-heartily yelped. “Calm down.”

“You’re not funny. It’s time for you to go, now!” she ordered, slipping her arm under his and trying to lift him from the chair. Jace was dead weight. “C’mon!” Allison bellowed. The muscles in her jaw clenched. The strength she exuded caused the color of a soft crimson to spread across her cheekbones.

“I’m not leaving until I’m ready, and I’m not ready. Let’s have another drink,” he said then stood up, slapping his palms together. He needed a plan. He couldn’t leave, not yet.

Jace made his way to the half empty bottle of liquor. This could work as a diversion. A little playing drunk manipulation was in order. She couldn’t let him drive if he was drunk. This could work. In the least it would stall her. Make her late. He needed more time. He wasn’t ready to just blurt out the truth. But this was his last chance.

After what happened today Jace knew it was Allison’s nature to throw men to the curb. He had to convince her he was different. But how? He was married or so it appeared that way to her. She’ll never believe him now. There wasn’t anything he could say that would be convincing at this point. What a conundrum he had found himself in. Jace was damned if he
told her the truth and damned if he doesn’t.

It was now or never, he had to tell her everything. His life depended on it—he didn’t really understand
why he had to rattle Allison’s world with his story, but instinctually he knew there was unfinished business between them. 

Scaring the crap out of another human being was not his style. How could he just blurt out the nightmare that he had been living? Although some men may find his curse a blessing, Jace no longer had. He needed a cure, and he knew she was the one and only person that could help him.

It may sound simple but it wasn’t, there was so much more that gave him reason to pause. There were others to consider besides his own fate. Although the thought of dumping his problem on Allison was his main concern, he had genuine feelings for her. What would she think when he told her his unbelievable story? Hell, she would probably have him locked up. That would screw things up big time.

“No more. I told you I have a big day tomorrow, and your time is up. I did my job!” Allison unleashed her temper on him. “And, by the way, I believe you’re cured so leave now. Damn it anyway. Fucking leave,” she cursed. Allison felt it was best to toss his ass to the curb while she still could.

She kicked his jeans across the floor, and they collided at his feet. Jace swiftly punted them back to her, laughing.

“Calm down, Doll.”
 

“Jace, this is bullshit. Get dressed,” she ordered, snatching up the jeans from the floor, tossing them into his face.

Chapter two

Allison Holmes, an established sex therapist with a degree in psychiatry, feared that she had crossed the line of no return with her most devoted, yet fragile patient. It was a
risqué
intervention and one that she may live to regret. There was no sense playing out the turn of events in their relationship, it would only end badly. No matter how much she had hope for this day, Allison figured it was better to end things sooner than later. There was no doubt, in a different time, different place she would have fought to have been with Jace. She wanted him, all of him, but under the circumstances it was too risky.

***

Allison had always set high goals for herself.

“They can never be too high.” That was what her father drilled into her head.
 

Unfortunately, her father’s harsh reproach hit her hard. He expected the impossible out of Allison. Nonetheless, she struggled to gain her father’s approval, at all cost
s.

Her career choice to become a doctor began as an uphill battle. Coerced—
no
, more like blackmailed into the field of medicine by her overbearing father.

After failure to launch her childhood dream, that the world would know her name, she conceded to follow in his footsteps and those of her grandfather and his father before him and so on.
 

Soon, helping others became her second passion. It gave her a reason to wake up early every morning, take a jog then head off to her office where she was wanted, or in the least, needed. This gave her inner peace and a purpose to breathe. She was indispensable, at least, to several handfuls of patients who needed her services.

She wanted to enlighten skeptics and those who suffered alone, burdened by the fear of being ridiculed for seeking out psychological counseling. Seeing a therapist should be a trendy solution in retrospect to being normal. After all, this was the twenty-first century; we are all mutants to some degree. Who’s normal anyway? Everyone has something abnormal they are hiding away.

Allison knew all too well
that there would be no dry spells, nor a shortage of clients in the field of her choice. Ultimately, plenty of people needed what she had to offer.
Didn’t they?
These were Allison’s thoughts anyway.

When she announced to her family that her platform in life was to reverse the stereotypical beliefs that therapy was only for crazy people, her father embraced her for the first time in years. This gave Allison high hopes for a bright future and a chance to build a relationship with her father.
 

Hearing her father’s praise was long overdue.  He rewarded her by leasing a high-end office space and financing a marketing plan to boost her profile and clientele list. However, it was her biggest desire to win her father’s love, attention and approval
, not necessarily what his money could buy. 

Allison appreciated his gifts; however, she felt they were just a cheap
substitute for his love. Money came easy to her father, and Allison wanted more than what his family inheritance could buy.

So, Allison threw her pathos into her practice by helping others to conquer their demons. However, it was more likely than not that her drive to change the world was ignited by her troubled past. How ironic it was that she couldn’t face her own personal demons, but her ambitious nature to eradiate the demons in other’s lives was off the charts.
 

Several years into owning her practice, Allison realized that her devotion to save the world was remote and impossible.

After several years of the daily grind, the pressure to succeed weighed on her shoulders. The funds her father had promised for the office space lease had been abruptly cut off after a hellacious fight about her mother. Just another let down in their relationship. The pennies she was bringing in were not enough to pay the high over-head of her high-end office space and the lifestyle she led. She wanted more out of life than sacrificing and living week to week in the red.