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Authors: Kylie Adams

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BOOK: Beautiful Liars
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THE IT PARADE
BY
J
INX
W
IATT
 
Fill in the Blanks
 
And you thought
The View
once had its share of dysfunctions. No set is in need of an on-the-premises therapistquite like that new show generatingoodles of honey buzz. One cohost was recently dumped by her ex. That ex is now dating another cohost, who is still smarting from her breakup with America's prince. Another cohost is the new BFF of America's prince. And still another cohost is BFF to America's prince's new wife. Got it? If not, start from the top and read again.
5
Sutton
Three soft knocks rapped the dressing room door.
“What is it?” Sutton snapped.
Jay Lufkin poked his head inside. “They need you in hair and makeup.”
Sutton glared at him. “Have them come to me. I'm not sitting in the same room with her.”
Jay sighed. “You're about to share a set with—”
“That's something I
have
to do,” Sutton cut in. “Don't get the two issues confused.Tell Joey and Olivia I'm ready wheneverthey are.” She turned her attention to the background material for today's guests. “Are you serious about these Japanese twins?”
“Faith Hill has a sinus infection,” Jay explained. “This is an eleventh-hour save.”
Sutton gave him a withering look.
“Okay,
save
may not be the right word. But ‘Bee in Our Bonnet' is already running for two segments.We need them.”
“Good-bye, Jay,” Sutton sang dismissively without so much as a glance upward.
Mio and Mako Kometani were the identical twin daughtersof a billionaire industrialist father and celebrated in their country of origin for being crowned Miss Japan (Mio one year, Mako the very next) and successfully marketing a line of products ranging from noodles to bust cream. Now their desperatebid for stateside, Paris Hilton–like fame was catching on with a hit reality series on the Oxygen network called
Deep Inside M&M
.
Last night Sutton had attempted to screen an entire hourlongepisode but gave up after the first thirty minutes, which chronicled Mio and Mako's bikini wax appointment and their attempts to change the outgoing voice mail messages on their cell phones.When Sutton saw that the remainder of the show would feature the twins doing little more than countingthe shoes in their closets and fighting over a D&G dress, she promptly powered down the DVD player.
Sutton's stomach did a complete revolution as a realizationbecame clear. A few months ago she had been grilling Condoleezza Rice about Iran's nuclear capabilities. Today she would be lobbing questions to Mio and Mako about the number of shoes in their closet.
Just as the door to her dressing room opened, Sutton heard Jay cry out from the corridor, “No! Not that room!”
But it was too late. In front of her stood a confused delivery boy holding an explosion of mango and burgundy calla lilies in an antique silver vase. The arrangement was from Ariston Florist on Fifth Avenue. Sutton instantly recognized the meticulouswork of owner Thomas Barbagianis. Garrison kept the Greek-born florist on speed dial. For one stupid, vulnerable moment, Sutton's heart lifted with emotion. Was he wishing her good luck on what would be her first show? Maybe he ...
Suddenly, the sight of Jay's pained expression triggered the intellectual truth that Sutton already knew. The flowers were not for her. Garrison had sent them to that bitch.
Sutton betrayed nothing as Jay quietly ushered the delivery person out of the room and down the hall, returning momentslater with an effusive apology.
She halted him. “It's okay, Jay.” Then she gestured to her packet of research. “I need to see someone about the graphics for the ‘Bee in Our Bonnet' segment.Would that be Candace?”
Jay nodded, searching Sutton's eyes for more. “What about the graphics?”
“I just want to go over the image sequence and make sure we're in synch.” She smiled at him. “Jay, I hope you have more pressing matters than intercepting flower deliveries and micromanagingthe work of a production assistant. Otherwise, this show is in trouble.”
Jay conceded her point with a sigh. “Be nice to Candace. I don't need her to quit. She's too good.”
Sutton drew back dramatically. “Am I some kind of monster?”
“You made the set designer cry,” Jay pointed out.
Sutton shrugged. “Allowing Sarah to go on thinking she's talented is ultimately a disservice. I care about her.”
“Well, in that case, when it comes to Candace, try to be as unfeeling as possible.” Jay rolled his eyes, darting out of the way as the hair and makeup team bounded inside Sutton's sanctuary.
“Okay, Queen Bee,” Joey intoned breathlessly. “Let's make you the most fabulous of all.” He positioned himself behind her and began finger-styling her hair, studying the results through the dressing mirror. “Nervous?”
“Amateurs get nervous,” Sutton informed him grandly.
Joey, his tanned, toned, tattooed body packed into a tight T-shirt, shared a secret smile with Olivia, the plump makeup girl with unbelievably gorgeous skin.
Sutton smiled. “I take that look to mean the others are absolutelyterrified.”
“Maybe a few pre-show jitters,” Joey murmured. “I wouldn't say they were
terrified
.”
Sutton ran a hand along the wisps of hair tapering her neck. “I'm thinking of letting it grow out.”Through the mirror,she searched Joey's eyes for approval.
He seemed to be considering her announcement when Olivia squealed, “Are you going to tell her, or should I?”
Sutton merely waited for the nugget to drop. Hair and makeup people could give the CIA lessons in sensitive intelligencegathering.
“A bill collector called Simone,” Joey offered. “Isn't that tragic? She tried to play it off, but it was
so
obvious.”
“I don't get it,” Olivia put in, sorting through her Trish McEvoy brushes. “Her last boyfriend was playing for the Yankees on an eighty million dollar contract, and this girl can't make a minimum payment on her Visa bill.”

Tommy Robb
,” Joey said dreamily. “Honey, that man is welcome in my dugout anytime.”
Olivia cackled.
Sutton managed a tight smile just as Candace stepped inside.
“Jay said you wanted to see me,” the production assistant said.
“Oh, yes,” Sutton replied, innocently enough. “Find that photograph that just hit the wire of Dean Paul Lockhart on the beach with his daughter. I'd like to lead with that in the ‘Bee in Our Bonnet' segment.”
Joey and Olivia traded meaningful looks.
Sutton cut an annoyed glance to Candace, who just stood there like a
Deal or No Deal
girl. “Don't let me keep you from your work, dear.”
Candace quietly slunk away.
“Ooh, the devil wears St. John,” Joey purred.
“Did you see her face when Finn mentioned his name this morning?” Olivia asked.
Sutton quickly surmised that Emma Ronson and Dean Paul Lockhart were the objects of Olivia's pronouns.
“Oh, so that red on her cheeks was
natural
blush,” Joey cracked.
Olivia giggled. “I know the girl who did Tilly Lockhart's makeup for the last 24/7 shoot, and according to her, Tilly and Dean haven't had sex in over a month. She's on Lexapro, and it takes her forever to orgasm, so she just doesn't bother.”
“Maybe he's getting it from the other side of the equator,” Joey mused. “That would explain his close friendship with Finn. And it's so obvious that our token gay has the biggest crush. How many times did he name drop Dean Paul this morning?”
“Oh, I don't know ...
fifty
?” Olivia snickered.
Joey placed both hands on Sutton's shoulders. “I hope you know that we would
never
talk about you this way,” he said earnestly.
Sutton raised a perfectly waxed brow. “I believe that like I believe you've never had a cock in your mouth.”
Joey and Olivia gasped in shock, then roared in laughter.
Sutton just smiled. For the moment, she was feeling no pain. But she was damn sure getting ready to cause some.
THE IT PARADE
BY
J
INX
W
IATT
 
Fill in the Blanks
 
It was the bitch slap heard all around the world on that buzz-worthy new gabfest when one of the baby bees gave the Queen Bee quite a stinger live on the air.
Ouch
. Pass the Benadryl. And we're only one show down, darlings. Spies say that Big Bad Mama wants her cheeky young cohost ousted immediately. But producerslove the friction and the hot gossip being generated. So for now, nobody's going anywhere.
6
Emma
“Ninety seconds, Ms. Ronson!”
The announcement triggered a frisson of nervous energy. This was it. Do or die. Emma took in a deep breath and left the safety of her dressing room to queue up with her cohosts in the backstage holding area.
Sutton Lancaster continued to freeze her out.
Finn Robards smiled supportively and gave her hand a gentlesqueeze.
Simone Williams spent the last minute staring into a jeweledcompact mirror, perfecting already perfect lips.
The excitement of the studio audience was palpable. A pre-show stand-up comedian had whipped up party vibrations, and the free juice and cookies had the crowd on the crescendo of a sugar rush.
Emma braced herself for impact as the German techno-inspiredtheme music commenced, followed by the announcer's booming voice.
“Ladies and gentlemen, you have officially entered
The Beehive
! Please welcome your hosts ... Sutton Lancaster ... Emma Ronson ... Simone Williams ... and Finn Robards!”
Enthusiastic applause greeted Emma as she emerged from backstage, clutching a printout of the show's breakdown like a security blanket. Heart racing, she stiffly took her place next to Sutton at the black BeeBoard table and clapped gleefully as Simone and Finn slid in to her left.
“It's our first show!” Sutton exclaimed to no one in particular.“Can you believe it?”
The audience thundered its approval.
“And for those of you who might have wandered into the wrong studio,” Finn interjected saucily, “this is
The Beehive
and not
Maury
. But we'll be offering free paternity tests later in the show, so there's no need to rush off.”
The studio erupted with laughter.
Emma beamed a look to Jay Lufkin. He was adorned with headset microphone gear and sat perched on the edge of his seat on the front row, flashing Finn a thumb's up sign.
Instantly, Emma picked up on the manner in which Sutton's spine straightened at the audience's enthusiastic reaction to Finn.
“This is our first broadcast,” Sutton began, assuming the lead as Queen Bee. “So I think some introductions are in order. I'm Sutton Lancaster. Some of you might recognize me from various capacities on news networks, most recently Fox. To my left is Emma Ronson, former news reader for Manhattan's own News Channel Four.”
Emma sat there, silently seething.
Former news reader?
She was the goddamn coanchor of the top-rated
Today in New York
!
“To Emma's left is the lovely Simone Williams,” Sutton went on. “She's done a bit of modeling and acting here and there. And finally we have Finn Robards.” She laughed a little.“Now Finn, other than being handsome and funny, I'm not sure what is it that you've done to earn your place here.”
“Isn't that enough?” Finn cracked. “After all, this
is
morningtelevision.”
Once again, the audience whooped with laughter.
Emma watched as Sutton managed a humorous smile through grinding teeth.
“More importantly, this is
The Beehive
,” Sutton continued. “And every beehive has a queen bee. Taking into account my ...
ahem
... maturity and experience, I suppose that would be me.”
“Now wait a minute,” Finn cut in with faux outrage. “I thought
I
was the queen bee?” One beat. “Or am I just the queen?”
The audience roared with laughter.
Emma stepped into the fray to assert her position. “I'm glad our audience is in good spirits, because we have some disappointing news. Faith Hill was scheduled to join us today, but she's been sidelined with a sinus infection.”
A chorus of moans echoed from the crowd.
“But Faith has promised to reschedule,” Emma went on brightly. “And today we're lucky to have reality sensations Mio and Mako Kometani from the hit series
Deep Inside M&M
.”
The audience clapped with genuine enthusiasm, surprisinglymollified.
“Okay, I'm totally obsessed with that show,” Simone put in. “I can't stop watching it.You know the episode where they count all the shoes in their closet? I've watched it, like, three times. I'm totally into shoes, so that part was, like, porn to me.”
“Did you masturbate to it?” Finn asked.
Simone drew in a shocked breath. “No!”
The crowd went ballistic.
“Well,
you
brought up the porn analogy,” Finn remarked.
Emma started to break in but could not stop laughing.
Finn, obviously delighted with the response and completelyin his element, muttered, “I'll be here all week.”
“Now there's much more on today's show than twin sisterswho shop,” Sutton interjected, cutting Finn a scolding glance. “Family therapist Dr. Sallie Payne will be here to tell us about the disturbing rise of clinical depression among teenage girls. We'll have a South Beach Diet cooking class with the Food Network's very own Jessie Ciccone, and we're going to learn how to burn belly fat with an abdominals workout that takes just
five
minutes a day. Fitness guru Gail Terrell will be here to take us through it. But before all of that, we're going to launch our very first ‘Bee in Our Bonnet' segment. This is our chance to buzz around the table on topics that viewers are talkingabout at home. Let's get started on a subject that seems to be fascinating the country more and more ...
celebrity babies
.”
Sutton gestured an open hand toward the audience. “How many of you went absolutely gaga over Shiloh Jolie-Pitt and Suri Cruise?”
The applause that came thundering back indicated that many of those in attendance indeed had.
“And what about
this
famous bundle of joy?” Sutton asked, shifting in her seat to glance back at the mega-screen behind her.
The audience practically swooned.
Emma turned to see a JumboTron-like display of Dean Paul Lockhart with baby Cantaloupe on the beach, the same image that had nearly upended her just a day earlier. She could feel a wave of heat rise up from her neck to her face.
“Thank God the child is gorgeous,” Finn said. “With a name like Cantaloupe, she's going to need every possible advantagein the world.”
A chorus of titters swept through the crowd.
“She definitely has her father's mouth,” Sutton observed. “And his eyes, too. Don't you agree, Emma?”
Emma looked at Sutton, momentarily taken aback by the venom spewing from the veteran journalist's gaze. “She's a beautiful child.”
“How could she not be?” Sutton fawned. “Coming from that gene pool—a dreamboat father and a mother who's a stunning beauty. Those two met, married, and became parents so quickly. It must've been love at first sight.”
Emma felt the fire of rapidly rising blood. The bitch had gone too far. If Sutton Lancaster wanted to fight dirty, then Emma Ronson was more than capable of getting down in the muck. “I wouldn't know. Since I'm involved in a relationshipof my own, I don't really take the time to speculate on other people's.”
Sutton's face registered the hit. “I just think it's an interesting phenomenon—this celebrity baby craze,” she mused silkily. “In a case such as this, perhaps the real interest is the fantasy of having a child with a man like Dean Paul Lockhart.”
“For some women maybe,” Emma replied, making the decision to move in for the kill, if only to prove that she was not to be fucked with. “For other women, say, those past childbearingyears, it could be the regret of never having had childrenand facing the remainder of their life alone.”
Sutton's eyes blazed hatred.
“Simone, I'm afraid we're sharing the stage with two silly, overanalytical bitches,” Finn chided. “Sometimes a rose is just a rose. People like cute babies! Am I right?” He shouted the question to the audience.
The booming ovation provided the answer.
“You couldn't be more right,” Simone added. “People like celebrity babies, because so many regular ones are just plain ugly.”
A low rumble percolated through the audience.
Immediately, Emma could sense them turning on Simone.
“I know that's mean to say,” Simone went on dangerously. “But everyone in this studio knows that there are some ugly babies out there. I mean, we've all seen them, right? So when a Cantaloupe Lockhart comes along, we're basically
grateful
. Everybody loves pretty things.”
“I'm going to go out on a limb here and declare this woman more shallow than Paris Hilton,” Finn announced. “And I say that with the utmost respect. I think she's brilliant.”
The audience applauded its approval.
“Stay with us after the break,” Finn continued, taking a cue from Jay. “Because we're coming right back with more bees in our bonnet.”
Emma waited for the theme music to subside before stormingoff the set, fighting off tears with each step. She could not do this. The fight was simply not in her to wage battle on the air day in and day out.
“Emma, wait,” Jay called out.
She spun on him angrily. “I'm sorry, Jay. I can't do this.”
“You're already doing it,” Jay praised. “Sutton went after you with her claws out, and you got some serious licks in.”
Emma shook her head. “I'm not proud of that.”
“You should be. It's going to make you a daytime star.”
BOOK: Beautiful Liars
9.66Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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