Beautiful Storm (31 page)

“You lying son of a whore.” The bastard’s boot connects with my head, jerking it backwards.

Fuck, he’s taken my headshake as denial. He kicks me again. Harder. With the wind knocked out of me I’m unable to speak. Had I the capability, I would tell the motherfucker kicking the shit out of me, ‘Yes. I did kill your fucking son, and it was the greatest fucking pleasure of my life.’ Instead, I spray a mouthful of blood at the bastard.

My heart beats fast and hard with expectation not fear.

I want to die. That’s what I came here for, why I begged for the job. I have nothing to live for anyway.

He crouches down next to me. The glint of a gaudy signet ring flickers in my vision. Thick fingers wrap around my neck as the fucker hoists me up, expecting me to look at him though my swollen eyelids. I don’t have the energy to resist, and I don’t want to. Metal glints in his hand as it nears my right eye, pressing into the flesh of my upper cheek. The sharp-edged knife scours through my flesh and hits bone. I let out a low moan. The pain is excruciating, but I won’t give him the satisfaction of hearing me scream.

Jerking awake, I suck in air like it’s going to be rationed. Bollocks. I’ve not had a nightmare for months. Beads of moisture trickle down my face and a sheen of sweat covers me. Rainy days and sunflowers overtake my sense of smell. My heart rate steadies as I remember where I am. Forcing my eyelids open, I find Lizzie’s concerned eyes studying me. Fuck.

“Noah, are you okay?” Her gentle voice replaces the bastard screaming obscenities in my head as he carves down my face, followed by the cracks of multiple rounds from Beretta PX4 semiautomatics shredding my eardrums.

“Yeah. I’m good.” I run a shaky hand over my face and it’s clear my voice betrays me.

I untangle myself from the comfort of her limbs; it’s a solace I don’t deserve. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I rest my head in my hands. The bed depresses and her warmth envelops me. Her gentle hand runs circles over my bare back, and goose bumps wage war on my body in response. My impulse is to pull away, and I fight to stay in place. I’m not worthy of her.

“You need to tell me.” Her firm words cause my stomach to free fall.

“Lizzie, I…” My voice cracks as I choke out the words. A choice needs to be made, but I don’t know how to tell her.

What the fuck do I say? I killed people, are you okay with that?

I flick a nervous glance in her direction, before returning to stare at the floor.

“If you want us to move in with you, Noah, I need the truth. You’re not telling me something and I need to know what it is.” Worry laces her tone.

She has no fucking idea. My fingers run through the shorn hair on my head.

I can’t do this.

“Is there someone else?”

My gaze whips around. “Fuck no.”

How the fuck did she go there?

Her forehead crinkles. “Well, I just thought…”

“Well, you know what ‘thought’ did, don’t you?” A look of confusion overtakes her face as my nan’s words ring in my ears. “Followed a shit cart and thought it was a wedding.”

Her face breaks into a gentle smile as she chuckles.

“Noah—”

“No. There’s no one else.” I reach out and caress her cheek with my fingers. “You need to trust me.” My gaze burns into hers.

“I do, but—”

“No buts. You either trust me or you don’t. I would never intentionally do anything to hurt either of you. And I would never cheat on you. Fuck, what do you take me for?”

She diverts her gaze away from me, and I have my answer.

“Have I ever cheated on you? Have I ever made you feel less than my whole fucking world?” Anger overtakes me. I may be a fucking whore, but never once have I been near another woman while she’s been in my life.

Pushing off the bed, a laugh reverberates in my chest. I’ve woken from one fucking nightmare straight into another. I begin shrugging on my sweats, with my back to her. I know I’m projecting my own shit onto her but I can’t help it.

My skin prickles as her hands wrap around my stomach and she presses up against my back. I stop dressing, unable to move. I don’t want to lose her touch. My eyelids shutter down as I fight away my demons.

I turn in her arms and leave my soul unguarded as my gaze finds hers.

Can she see it? The truth?

Her innocent eyes search my face. “I’m sorry. I just…” She sighs. “It’s just difficult for me to deal with all the others.”

I’m going to hell anyway, so the question I want to ask will seal the deal. It’s something I have no right to know, and I’m not sure I want the answer.

“Has there been anybody else for you?” The insecurity in my tone is laughable with my history.

“Er, Noah, I…” She drops her gaze to the floor and I have my answer. My insides tighten and the blood flows faster through my veins.

“Alex,” I state.

There’s a loud bang and a piercing cry from the room where Kai’s sleeping. I move quickly, but Lizzie grabs my arm, halting me. She gives me a soft smile, her eyes dancing with amusement.

“He’s learnt how to get out of the cot.”

She grabs my T-shirt and some knickers and dresses at light speed and opens the bedroom door. With Kai in her arms, she returns less than a minute later. I look up from pulling on my socks and Kai’s face lights up.

“Da-dad.” He struggles in Lizzie’s arms when I open mine to him. He comes straight over and snuggles into them. My chest fills with pride.

We made this
.

His little hopeful eyes are wide. “‘Ars.”

My face breaks out into a smile as I chuckle at him. “Yeah, in a little while, buddy.”

Grinning, I turn towards Lizzie, some obvious questions in my eyes, along with some not so obvious.

“I’ll answer you later. You need to trust me.”

She used my own words against me. Smart girl. Nodding my head at her, I ask the only thing that matters. “When are you packing?”

“After breakfast?”

“Suits me.” I just hope when I finally grow the balls to tell her the truth, she’ll stay. But I know she won’t. I suck in a breath and turn to our son.

“Come on, little man. Let’s go play cars.”

I’m going to enjoy my family while I still have the chance.

A
FTER BREAKFAST I
come upstairs to pack up the few things I brought to Boo’s. Everything else stayed with Alex, which I can collect whenever I feel like it. Noah’s playing downstairs with Kai. I can hear their laughter filter upstairs and I can’t help but smile at the sound. Being a family is so comfortable, so easy.

Yet something niggles at me. I can’t put my finger on it, but he’s obviously keeping something from me. His nightmare was traumatic for him, in a way I have never seen before. I blow out a breath and try to work out what could be so bad he can’t tell me. I don’t know how I associated the nightmare with another woman, but what else could have happened to him while I’ve been gone? Another woman seems to be the only answer.

He’s changed a little. Not so much it’s blatant; he’s still a rough diamond. He still has the intense side to him, but it seems darker, harder, but with still so much warmth, which emanates from him, at least with me. He’s always been my safe harbour, even if only in my imagination. I just want to be his. Unable to figure him out, I’m folding the last few things into the large suitcase when Boo walks into the room.

“Hey, hun. You all set?”

Her excitement at the whole situation is contagious, and I beam back at her. “Just finishing off.”

She sits on the bed, with her legs folded under her. Closing the lid on the case, I move and sit beside her. She wraps an arm around my shoulder and draws me against her side in a hug.

“What’s the matter? I can see through that smile, you know. Is Noah rushing you? Is it all too fast?”

“God, no. Of course not.” I laugh. “Well, maybe a little, that’s just him though. You know it’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“But?” She’s too perceptive for her own good.

“I don’t know. He’s hiding something from me.”

All she does is nod and waits for me to spill out what I want to say.

“Has Ted ever said anything to you about Noah? Was there someone special in his life?”

She pulls her arm from around my shoulder and looks me square in the face. “You are kidding, right?”

I shake my head and shift my gaze from hers to the window. “I just don’t know what to think. He’s had all these years being filled with other women and I’ve never looked at another man. Although, he thinks I slept with Alex.”

A small smile pulls at my lips when Layla bursts out in laughter. “Seriously? And you let him believe that?”

“I didn’t have the chance to tell him any different. Kai fell out of his cot just after he asked me.” Guilt pulls at my stomach, but the humour written all over her face quells the feeling a little.

“Well, let him believe it, hun. It won’t hurt to keep him on his toes.” She winks at me. “And in answer to your original question, no. According to Ted, there has never been anyone for Noah, except you. Unless you classify a ten-minute screw as a committed relationship.”

I get up off the bed and start fiddling with the case again, agitated by the unreasonable jealousy feeding from my self-doubt.

“Then what’s he hiding?”

“What makes you think he’s hiding anything?”

“He had some sort of nightmare. When he woke up, he looked in pain.” I shake my head. “No, not just pain. He looked in agony. When I asked him about it he said he’d tell me later. When I asked about the new scar on his face I got the same answer.” My mind starts whirring with possibilities.

“Maybe he got glassed by a disgruntled boyfriend, or something? And he’s embarrassed to tell you.”

“Boo, you didn’t see his face, his eyes were almost black. I’ve only ever come close to seeing him look that way twice.”

“Well, what caused it then? Maybe that will give us a clue.”

“Me. It was when I left him, and when he thought I had another guy in my life.”

“Oh.” The confusion clear in her voice does nothing to alleviate the fog in my mind.

Her gaze shifts to the door and without turning I recognise Noah’s presence. My skin burns as I sense his gaze on me and my breath catches in my throat.
How much has he heard?
My heart races as I slowly pivot to face him. He’s leaning up against the doorway. His sweats hang low on his waist, his Adonis’ belt clearly visible below the T-shirt clinging to every contour of his body. I chance a look into his eyes; the hazel is on fire. He scans me from head to toe, and his lips break into a lazy smile.

“Are you finished here?”

His voice is deep and husky, but the tone is not giving anything away. I have no idea if he heard our conversation or not. I nod my head in acknowledgement. “Yep, almost done. Where’s Kai?”

“I left him pulling on Bear’s nose. He’s safe.” The lazy smile turns into a mischievous grin.

My heart swells at his words. He’s known he’s a dad for only a few days but he has the most natural responses and instincts where Kai is concerned. The fact he hasn’t just walked out of the room and left him playing with matches shouldn’t surprise me, but it does. I didn’t realise he’d take to his new role with such ease.

“I’ll leave you both to it,” Boo states, and flicks her gaze towards Noah. He drops his to the floor and an uneasy feeling clenches my stomach.

Does she know something?

Forcing a smile onto my face, I try hard to shake the feeling off, knowing full well she would never keep anything from me. I walk over and wrap my arms around her. “Thanks for everything.”

She scans my face and smiles. “No worries, hun. And stop acting like you’re leaving again. You’ll only be ten minutes down the road.”

Her voice chokes with emotion and when I pull back, I can see her eyes sparkling. We must look like a pair of hormonal drama queens. When I look over to Noah, he’s gone.

Boo follows my line of sight. “Try not to worry too much. I’m sure if there’s something bothering him, he’ll tell you. He doesn’t come across as the sort of guy to ask someone to move in with him unless he means it.”

I let out a frustrated huff. “Yeah, he’s not. But that’s why whatever he’s hiding unsettles me a little. Noah’s very much
what you see is what you get
, and to hell with the consequences. He’s an open book.”