Beauty from Pain (25 page)

I like the full-time privacy when
we’re the only ones here. Perhaps I should give Daniel and Mrs.
Porcelli some additional vacation during our stay at
A
valon.

I haven’t explained my employees’ routines to
Laurelyn. “None of the staff is in the house before eight or after
five unless asked to be.”

“
Oh. They don’t sleep in the
house?”

“
No, they have their own quarters
in the guest house. They need their privacy as well.”

I see the relief on her face. “Of course they
do.”

Mrs. Porcelli comes out of the house carrying
a serving tray with two plates. “I thought you might be hungry, so
I brought some sangers and fruit.”

“
Thank you, Mrs. Porcelli. We’ll
have lunch at the patio table.” She leaves the food and returns
inside the house. “Are you hungry?”

Laurelyn winks at me. “I had a late breakfast,
but I could eat again.”

“
You always have brekkie late,
sleepyhead.” She retaliates by splashing water in my face. I lift
my hand and make a production of wiping the water from my eyes.
Laurelyn lets go of me and begins backing away because she knows
what’s coming. “Oh, you asked for this. There’s no backing out
now.”

I catch her by the arm and pull her to me. I
lock my arms around hers, holding them by her side as I prepare to
dunk her.

“
Please, don’t,” she screams and I
hear hysteria in her voice.

I release my grip so I’m able to turn her
around. I’m shocked by the pure terror I see in her eyes. “What’s
wrong, Laurelyn?”

She drops her face. “Nothing.” She pushes
away, so I let her go. She gets out of the pool and wraps a towel
around her body before sitting at the table where lunch is
waiting.

I get out to join her, but I’m not sure if I’m
welcome. Her eyes continue to avoid mine and it’s because something
isn’t right with her. “Lunch looks good.”

“
Uh-huh.” That’s all I
get.

I begin to eat while she ignores the food on
her plate. “Mrs. P. will think you don’t like her food if you don’t
eat something.” This isn’t my happy, carefree Laurelyn in front of
me. This one is guarded and withdrawn. I want the other one back.
“I didn’t mean to upset you.”

She has a distant look on her face and I
wonder where her mind has taken her. It certainly isn’t here with
me. “My mom was an addict when I was a kid. She was addicted to
prescription drugs—painkillers, sedatives, whatever she could get
her hands on. When I was eight, I found her passed out and
submerged in the bathtub. I tried to pull her out, but she was too
heavy. Every time I’d get her face above the water, she’d take a
breath and then slip from my grasp. She pulled me into the tub
under her and I was drowning. I still remember what it felt like to
be held under that water knowing I was about to die.”

“
How did you not
drown?”

“
I had pulled the plug in the
drain as soon as I found her. It took a while, but the water
drained low enough for me to breathe.”

“
What happened to your
mum?”

“
Almost killing both of us was her
wake-up call. She got clean and has been for almost fifteen years.”
I would hope so if her addiction almost killed her and her
eight-year-old daughter.

She’s watching my face. “I’ve never told
anyone that.”

How could she not tell anyone? “What do you
mean?”

“
It’s been our secret all of these
years. You’re the only person who knows.”

“
Both of you almost died. That’s
not the kind of thing you keep secret.”

She pulls the towel tighter around her
shoulders. “I learned to keep secrets at a very early age, Lachlan.
I would’ve been taken away from her if I had told.”

“
Maybe you should have been taken
from her.”

“
We survived and she went to rehab
that night. I stayed with my grandparents while she got clean and I
was there for her when she came home.”

She was only a child. Her mother should’ve
been the one there for her, not the other way around. No one
protected her and she was robbed of her childhood. She says she
learned to keep secrets at a very early age, so I have to wonder
what else she’s hiding.

29

Laurelyn Prescott

I see the look in Lachlan’s eyes and I know
what he’s thinking—my mother is sorry and lowdown. And there have
been times when she has been; she isn’t perfect. If I’m honest, she
has been a shitty mother, but she’s the only parent I have. At
least she’s been there—that’s more than I can say for the sperm
donor.

Maybe I should regret telling him this secret
I’ve kept for fifteen years, but I don’t. I feel a burden lift from
my heart and soul. Only one word describes what I’m experiencing:
peace.

Lachlan’s squatting in front of me, his hands
on my knees. I slide to the edge of my seat and he wraps his arms
around me. It’s in this moment that I realize something—I can tell
Lachlan anything. There is no pretense of perfection between us. I
don’t need him to believe I have it all together when I don’t.
“That felt so damn good.”

“
What did?”

I’m almost giddy by my epiphany. “Telling you
what happened with my mom and finally admitting what a shitty job
she did as a parent before she got clean. I had no idea how great
it would feel to finally tell someone.”

“
I think that’s why therapy is so
highly recommended.”

There he goes with the medical advice again.
“Yes, Dr. Henry. I believe you could be right on this
account.”

“
I’m always right on every
account.”

We go back into the pool after we finish
eating and I can tell that Lachlan is nervous. I assure him I’m
fine, but he won’t venture past the steps, and we sit staggered in
the water with me between his legs. The dam holding all my secrets
is breached and I tell him things I thought I would take to my
grave.

Lachlan listens and says little. I’m not sure
if it’s because he doesn’t know how to respond or if he’s too
disturbed by what he’s hearing. It doesn’t matter because reaction
isn’t what I need. Listening is, and it’s one of the things he does
very well.

By the time I finish telling Lachlan my
childhood tales, the water has shriveled us like little old people.
I hold my hand up to examine it. “I think this is a sign that it’s
past time to get out.”

“
I think you’re right.”

Once we’re dried off, I wrap my towel around
my waist. As I’m tucking it, I see Lachlan studying me.
“What?”

He drops his head to peer over his sunglasses
at me. “I hope you haven’t caught too much sun today. You’re a wee
bit red.”

I look at my shoulder and pull the strap of my
bikini to the side. I hear Lachlan suck air through his teeth.
“Damn, Laurelyn. I’m afraid that’s going to sting
tonight.”

Lachlan is not the least bit pink, so I move
the top of my bikini down for an inspection. It doesn’t hurt or
appear burned to me, but I won’t be able to tell anything until
we’re out of the sun.

We stop in the kitchen to drop off our lunch
plates and Mrs. Porcelli’s eyes grow large when she sees me. “Oh,
Laurelyn dear. There’s an aloe vera aftersun lotion in the medicine
cabinet when you’re ready for it. There’s lidocaine in it and it
should help with the pain.”

Oh, shit. What have I done?

We go into the bathroom together and I slip
off my towel. Things aren’t so bad when I remove my bikini top.
Sure, there’s a distinct contrast between my freshly sun-kissed
skin and the white lines of my swimsuit, but it’s not
terrible.

He’s standing behind me surveying the damage.
“I’m so sorry. I should’ve noticed when you started
burning.”

“
Don’t worry. I don’t stay pink
for long.” He looks doubtful as he assesses my shoulders. “Really,
Lachlan. You’ll see. This will be on its way to turning brown by
morning.”

“
In the meantime, why don’t you
take a cool shower? That should help, and I’ll rub you down with
lotion when you’re out.”

A rubdown by Lachlan? Being sunburned is
sounding better and better. “That sounds perfect.”

He’s right. The cool shower feels really nice.
I notice my shoulders are a little tender to the water pelting down
on them, but it’s nothing too uncomfortable.

When I’m finished showering, I pat my skin dry
and step out to find Lachlan waiting for me with a bottle of aloe
vera lotion. He holds it up and gives it a shake as he grins. “Do
you want me to do it in here with you standing, or would you rather
I do it with you lying on the bed?”

Hmm, that sounds dirty. “I don’t know. Both
options sound appealing.”

“
I vote for the bed.”

“
Then, the bed it is.”

“
Here. Mrs. Porcelli sent these
for you.” He holds out two pills in the palm of his hand. “It’s
only ibuprofen to help with the discomfort.”

“
But it doesn’t hurt.”

“
It will, so please take the
medicine. I don’t want you to be in pain.”

I take the pills and the glass of water he
offers. I’m terrible at swallowing pills since I’ve made a habit of
avoiding them. These aren’t big, so I manage to get them down, but
not without some unattractive sputtering. When I’m done, I pass the
glass back to him. “Happy now, Dr. Henry?”

“
Very.”

I twist my towel around my hair before I crawl
up onto the bed to lie on my stomach for my post-sun care. I rest
my arms over my head and I feel the bed dip when Lachlan crawls up.
“This may be a little cool, but it’ll feel good.”

He squirts it directly on my back and I arch.
“Shit, that’s cold!” I squeal.

“
It’s not really. It just feels
that way because your skin is feverish.”

He rubs the cool lotion into my skin and it’s
very soothing. My entire body goes lax as I enjoy what feels more
like a massage than a post-sunburn lotion application.

I’m so relaxed, I’m almost asleep when I hear
“Jolene” playing on my phone. My eyes pop open and I feel Lachlan
leave my back. “I’ll get it for you.”

He passes my phone to me. “Hey,
Mom.”

“
Laurie, I’ve been calling you for
hours. Have you not checked your phone?”

She sounds panicked, which panics me, and my
first thought is that something has happened to Nanna or Pops. I
sit up in the middle of the bed, preparing myself to hear the
worst. “What’s happened, Mom?”

“
I can’t believe you haven’t
heard. It’s been all over the news.”

Okay, nothing has happened to my grandparents
so I shift to my aggravation mode. “Mom, what’s going
on?”

“
Jared Beckett was killed in a
skiing accident today.”

I should’ve known this would somehow involve
the sperm donor. “And this is emergency news for me
because?”

“
Because he’s your brother,
Laurie.”

“
Whom I’ve never met.”

“
He’s your father’s
son.”

“
Again, whom I’ve never met.” Am I
the only one hearing the common denominator here?

“
You need to come
home.”

Good grief. “This isn’t a reason for me to
come home.”

“
You need to pay your condolences,
Laurie.” Oh, hell. This is about getting me in with the sperm
donor. What does she think is going to happen? He’s going to
suddenly want me in his life now that he’s lost his only
child?

I realize I’m stark naked and
talking to my mom about the death of my sperm donor’s son when
Lachlan holds out one of his T-shirts for me. I mouth
thank you
to him and
slip the shirt over my head while my mom chatters nonsense about
the need of being with family in times like this.

“
We share DNA, but I’m no part of
their family. They wouldn’t know me if we passed on the
street.”

“
Your father is going to want to
know you.”

I stopped fantasizing about him wanting to
know me a long time ago, but she never has. I’m almost twenty-three
years old and she’s still holding out for something—I don’t know
what. Maybe she thinks he’ll want to meet his daughter and it’ll
lead him back to her.

“
I’m sorry, Mom. I’m not coming
home for this.”

“
I think you’re making a
mistake.”

“
If I am, then I’ll be the one who
has to live with it.” I’d always been the one to live with both of
our mistakes anyway, so I was used to it.

She isn’t happy with me when I end our call
and it leaves me feeling unsettled, although I know I’m making a
logical decision. Between the two of us, someone has to be rational
and I can’t depend on it to be her. She isn’t well known for making
the best choices when it comes to my father.

“
I assume there’s trouble at
home.”