Because (Seven Year Itch #4) (11 page)

Chapter 16

I feel like I’ve been hit by a train.

I’ve been working out with my father for three days now. It’s already Friday and I’ve managed to go over twenty-four hours without talking to Brandon. I miss him like crazy, but the longer I go, the easier it’s becoming to refrain from reaching out. In the back of my mind I’m wondering if he’s doing the same or if this is his way of showing me he doesn’t care if I ever return. I know he’s mad I haven’t spoken to him since our encounter the other night. Nothing good will come if I bring it up, so I pretend it never happened.

As far as my progress goes, I feel like I should be proud of what I’ve accomplished thus far. My doctor says I’m taking the right steps in order to rediscover the person I know I can be. When I got on the scale this morning I’m down seven pounds. It’s not just falling off because I’m exercising. It’s mostly from stress and forgetting to eat. I’m too emotional to care about consuming food. Still, I’m excited and hopeful the weight will continue to fall off while I desperately find a new lifestyle I can manage on a day to day basis.

After my talk with Aberdeen, I’m determined to get her for the whole weekend, but it’s going to require me to sneak into my house while Brandon’s at work to gather enough clothes for the days she won’t be coming home. He’s been keeping me from spending a lot of time with her and I’m about to end that.

He’s going to flip out when he discovers my plan, though I know I’m not going to tell him until she’s with me. I’ve made arrangements to stay at my new friend Char’s house while she travels across the Bay Bridge to spend the weekend with her family. Since Brandon doesn’t know her, he won’t be able to track us down and harass me until I bring her home. I want this weekend to be special, without distractions, so I’m taking extremes to ensure it happens.

Stopping by the house seems like I’m committing a crime. Since I know what time he goes into work, I head there before my shift at Target begins. I pull into the empty driveway and make my way inside the home. There are still dishes in the sink, but they appear to be different than the other night. The kitchen table has school work on it, and as I make my way in each room I find things out of order.

I start in my bedroom, making the bed and putting away the clean clothes still in baskets at the foot of it. I wipe down the countertops in the bathroom and scour the toilet and shower. I vacuum all the floors and fold the throw blankets in the living room. When I start doing the dishes I see someone pulling in behind my car. It’s my mother-in-law Susan. She’s getting out of her car with a grocery bag in her arms. Of course she would assume her son couldn’t manage on his own. In her back pocket is a pair of rubber gloves. I want to laugh, but I’m too annoyed.

When she steps in the kitchen and sees me washing the dishes she stops dead in her tracks. “Mom, what are you doing here?”

“I could ask the same from you. I was under the impression you weren’t living here.”

“I told you I was taking some time, not moving out. I still have responsibilities to my family.”

She sits down a bag of groceries and begins pulling out items such as milk and eggs. “Well, I just figured I could help out a little while you weren’t home.”

I toss the dishrag in the soapy water and cross my arms. “Mom, Susan,” I’m too pissed to consider her my parent. “What’s going on between Brandon and me is between the two of us. Your son is fully capable of grocery shopping and cleaning if I don’t come around to do it. As you can see, I’m not going to leave him high and dry.”

“I’m sorry I assumed. I’m only trying to help.”

“I get it. I do. I’m just frustrated. Part of the reason I left is because Brandon doesn’t appreciate the things I do. It’s important he knows about the little details of taking care of a child and a house, as well as managing the bills and feeding the family. He’s not going to learn otherwise.”

She puts her hands in her pockets. “You’re right. I didn’t consider that’s what you were trying to get across. I apologize.”

“It’s fine.” I can’t stay mad at her for trying to keep the peace. “Thanks for picking up a few things. Since you’re here I want you to know I won’t be dropping Ab off tonight. I’m taking her to the movies.”

“Oh. Brandon didn’t mention it.”

“I know. I’ll make sure he’s made aware.”

She walks over and hugs me. “I love you, Shayla. I do hope this separation is only temporary. You’ll always be a part of our family.”

“I feel the same, but just so you know, I don’t plan on going anywhere. This is just a bump in the road.”

She stays for a few minutes before exiting with her rubber gloves. I feel like I need to hurry up in case she calls Brandon and tells him what I’m up to. He’s going to get angry, and possibly try to stop me from taking Aberdeen, even though he has no idea I plan on taking her somewhere he won’t be able to locate. I should feel like a jerk for scheming behind his back, but I don’t. He’s made seeing my daughter difficult, going as far as to prevent me from taking her to my parents after school. He thinks he’s helping, but he’s not. Aberdeen needs to know I’d never abandon her.

After making sure the house is picked up and presentable, I pack a bag for my child and load it into my car. Then I run back in the house and jot down a note for Brandon to find when he gets home from work.

Brandon:

I took Aberdeen on an adventure for the weekend. I’ll bring her home on Sunday.

Shay

My shift at Target can’t come soon enough. Two hours into it and I hear a familiar voice saying my name. “Shayla, I was wondering if I’d see you here.”

“Toby,” I try to seem glad to see him, but I know by now he’s aware of what’s going on between me and Brandon. “What a surprise.”

“I’m here for underwear. I’m thinking of changing brands. Do you prefer boxers or boxer briefs?”

I hardly think he’s being serious. “I like commando, but that’s just me. So I hear congratulations are in order. I bet Cara is elated.”

“She is. She’s already in full planning mode.”

“Brandon seems excited too. He thought she might be the one for you when you first brought her around.”

“Yeah, he was right. Speaking of him, I heard you’re spending time apart. He said it was your idea. Is he pulling my leg?”

I shake my head. “No. It’s gotten pretty bad. I think the space will help us figure out what we need to change.”

“Gotcha. How is it going?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. It could be better I suppose. He’s not very forthcoming regarding change. He claims there was nothing wrong in the first place. He’s your best friend, so I don’t expect you tell me anything, but I hope if he gets in any kind of trouble you’ll let me know.”

“Sure. I won’t let him go too crazy, but just so you know in advance, he told me something entirely different about the separation. I got the impression it was mutual. He went as far as to say he had a free pass for a while.”

I try my hardest to pretend this isn’t getting to me. Toby has been around me enough to know I’m falling apart in front of him. He reaches over and touches my shoulder. “Shay, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. You did say you wanted to know, and as much as I’d like to think we’re friends, I couldn’t walk away without telling you. Brandon doesn’t like change, but once he gets in his head that he’s failed at something, he’ll drop it like it’s out of style. I just want you to be aware of it so you can do whatever it takes to ensure you’ll be able to put the pieces together later on.”

I try to offer a smile, but there’s nothing that will make it seem like I appreciate his information. “It’s good to know. I guess he’s more pissed than I originally assumed. I thought he was just trying to scare me to come back home. Honestly, I knew he might like the freedom, but I didn’t know he was going around celebrating it.”

“I wouldn’t go that far. He’s making plans, but nothing is set in stone yet. My advice to you would be to talk to him face to face. What do I know anyway? I’m just the friend he comes to when he runs out of beer.”

I’m struggling to keep it together. My eyes fill with tears and I’m fighting the need to run in the back so he can’t see me lose control over my emotions. “Do you think I’m making a mistake?”

He pauses for a minute. Something is weird with the way he’s thinking about my question. “You need to do what’s best for you. I can’t judge you for it. I don’t know what goes on between the two of you behind closed doors. We’ve had our differences, you and I, but I’ve always considered you a friend, even when you were throwing me under a bus. I hope you can work it out with Brandon.” He checks his watch. “I better get going. I need to be in court by two. See you later, Shay.”

When he walks away I break down. Char comes up and hugs me. I’d called her the night before and she talked me off of the invisible ledge that already led me to drive home to be close to Brandon and Aberdeen. She told me the details of where her apartment was located and how to get there. I feel like I’m imposing by staying at her house, but since she won’t be around it’s the perfect getaway.

She’s hugging me until I manage to stop crying. “What happened?”

“Did you see that guy I was talking to? That was Brandon’s best friend Toby. He told me things I didn’t want to hear. I might be ruining by marriage by staying away. Brandon thinks he’s free to do whatever he wants. What if he hooks up with someone while we’re separated? I don’t know if I can handle that. He’ll blame this on me.”

“You have to do what you feel is right. If Brandon screws up this early on, you really need to question if he can be trusted at all. Men are unpredictable. As much as I know you don’t want to, you’re going to have to let him go in order to know for sure he can be the man you need.”

“What if everything I fear is true?”

“Then you’ll have to walk away from your marriage and come to an agreement for your daughter. It will get ugly unfortunately, but this is the risk you have to take to know for sure.”

She’s right, although it’s impossible to accept. My mind is going crazy with terrible thoughts. By the time I get off work I rush to pick up Aberdeen from school. She’s unaware that I’m taking us directly to Char’s house, even though she hasn’t left yet. I don’t want to be near Brandon, and I certainly can’t talk to him until I calm down. Toby’s visit had taken a toll on me, and if I want to enjoy my weekend I need to settle my suspicions, or else I know she’ll ask to go home; somewhere I can’t bear to take her tonight.

Chapter 17

“What do you mean she didn’t drop her off?” I ask my mother while standing in her living room listening to why my daughter isn’t here waiting for me.

“Shay said she talked to you. She told me she was taking Aberdeen for the weekend. I was sure she’d cleared it with you first.”

I can tell my mom has no idea Shayla was planning this behind my back. “It’s fine. I’ll call her and figure out what she’s doing.”

“Do you need me to check her mother’s house?”

“No. I’ll stop by there on the way home.”

I rush out the door and climb in my car. I’m pissed and determined to figure out what my wife has up her sleeve. Just as I’m about to pull up to her parents’ house I get a call from Toby.

“What’s up, dude? You’ll never guess what I’m dealing with right now.”

“Does it have to do with Shay?”

“Why?”

“I saw her today at Target. I did what you wanted. She didn’t say much after I baited her. I can tell it got to her. You owe me for this, Bran. I felt like an asshole for lying to her face.”

“What did you say?”

“I don’t remember exactly. I didn’t elaborate with details, but I may have mentioned you were happy about being free for a while. Whatever she read into it after that is on her.”

“Shit. That probably explains why she didn’t drop Ab off at my moms. Listen, I need to get off here and deal with my in-laws. If anyone knows where she went it’s them.”

“Okay, man. Good luck.”

After ending the call I step out of my vehicle and approach the house. The first thing I notice is that Shay’s car isn’t there. I remember Ab saying they were going to see a movie, but I want to check with her mother first to make sure. Maybe I can hunt them down and join them without having to ask permission, after she gets an earful for neglecting to tell me about her plans ahead of time.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to keep them apart I want us to be family, but I don’t want her to think it’s okay to start doing things without me. It’s not right. I didn’t ask for this, so I certainly don’t deserve to be shut out.

I knock on the front door twice before letting myself in like I always do. My mother-in-law is sitting in the living room watching something on television. “Hey, Mom. Do you know where I can find Shay?”

She sits up and seems out of sorts. “Shay took Ab somewhere for the weekend. She said she’d be back on Sunday. Do you mean to tell me you didn’t know about it?”

“No. I didn’t.” I’m clenching my jaw to keep from losing my shit in front of this woman. I know I need to get out of there so I can get my wife on the phone and demand an explanation. “Maybe they’re waiting at the house for me. I only stopped by here since I was right down the road.”

She tries to follow me out, but I’m in such a hurry I can’t catch up. As I turn to get back in my car I see her waving, her face full of concern.

I drive fast, because I’m hoping they’re at the house and this is all a misunderstanding. When I arrive and her vehicle isn’t in the driveway I start to panic. I head inside and find a note waiting for me.

It leaves me with more questions than answers. I begin to wonder if Toby’s visit has caused her to do something drastic. If she thinks I’m giving up on our marriage then she’s probably assuming I’m going to fight for custody of our daughter. There’s a good chance Shayla has taken our daughter away so that can’t happen.

I’m worried as I pull her number up and wait for the call to connect. It rings four times and then goes to voicemail. I hang up and call again, determined to get her on the line.

“I left you a note.”

“A note? Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“Calm down, Bran. It’s two days. I’m sure you’ll find something to do while we’re gone. Did you even notice the house is clean and all your clothes are put away?”

“No. All I’ve noticed is that my daughter isn’t where she’s supposed to be. How do I know you’re going to return her on Sunday? You could be driving her out of state to keep her from seeing me.”

She laughs at my assumption which in turn angers me.

“Shayla, I want you to bring my daughter home tonight after the movie. You’re not keeping her out somewhere I don’t know about.”

“You’re being ridiculous. If anyone can care for her it’s me. I have every right to be with her and keep her overnight. We’re having a girl’s weekend and you’re not invited. Get over it, Bran. This could be the start of many more.”

She hangs up the phone leaving me puzzled as to what her real plans could be. Too many stories have surfaced about parents stealing children and taking them away from their spouses. I can’t let this happen just because she thinks I’m a bad person.

I call her back and get no answer, so I begin texting.

You need to answer me. I’m about to report her as being kidnapped. – Bran

You wouldn’t dare! I’m not doing anything wrong. We’re staying local. I’m housesitting for a friend while she’s gone. – Shay

She then sends me a picture of them sitting in a living room. I enlarge the photo and look around to see if I recognize anything in the room. Out a large window I can see her car parked alongside a truck. I don’t know why my mind starts wandering, but I get it in my head she’s with another man. Then I go ballistic.

I call her again, this time determined to get through. It takes forever, but she finally picks up. “What now? We’re about to go to the movies.”

“I need you to talk to me. Who are you staying with? Are you talking to someone behind my back? Is that why you left me? Did you introduce Ab to him?”

“You’ve lost your mind. I’m not talking to anyone, especially a man. I have a new friend at work and she went away. She knew my mom was getting on my nerves and told me I could stay at her place while she was gone. I’m in Denton if you must know. It’s a single family house that’s turned into two apartments. I have no idea who the other tenant is, but I know it’s a female and she’s about sixty years old. If anyone should be worried about cheating it’s me. I have no idea what you’ve been saying to Toby, but he let me know how you really feel about us breaking up. If you think you’re better off without me just go ahead and say it. Be honest with me for once, Bran.”

I know what she’s talking about, but it’s obvious my plan has backfired. “You’ve got it all wrong.”

“No, I don’t think I do. Maybe this time apart is opening my eyes to what I’ve been denying for a long time. Enjoy your freedom, Bran. I’m sorry I wasted over seven years trying to change you.” I can hear her voice cracking as she finishes the sentence.

“I never said that.”

“You don’t have to. I’ve been stupid to think this was a good idea, but now that we’ve been apart for a couple days I’m beginning to think maybe it’s what you need. I’ll always love you, Bran, but I can’t be what you want, and you’re definitely not capable of being the man I need. I’ll return Aberdeen on Sunday. I’ll stay in my car so you don’t have to deal with me. I’ll have her call you before she goes to bed each night.”

“Don’t do this, Shay. You’re putting words in my mouth again.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m hanging up now. What’s done is done.” Now she’s really crying. I don’t know what to say to her. I want to be furious, but now I feel like the bad guy. She thinks I don’t want our marriage. She expects things to magically work out. Toby talking to her, whatever he said, obviously set her over the edge.

“Don’t hang up.”

“We have nothing left to talk about, and Ab is going to want to know why I’m upset, and I can’t even begin to know what to tell her.”

“Tell her you miss me. Make up something.”

“I do miss you, Brandon. I miss us; the way we used to be before life got in the way. I wish we could go back, but we both know we can’t. No matter how hard I try to change I know neither of us can be someone we’re not.”

“You’re wrong. I don’t believe that for a second. About what Toby said…”

“Don’t. I can’t do this tonight. I’m tired of fighting. I’m weak, and we both know what happens when I can’t control my emotions. I refuse to give in. I won’t. This is for the best and that’s the end of the conversation. I love you. I always will, but I’m starting to accept I’ll never be able to trust you. Keep your phone on for Ab to call later.”

She hangs up and leaves me to sulk in my own misery. I slam my phone down on the kitchen table. “Shit! Shit! Shit!” I’m pacing around, trying to come up with a solution for all of this.

Then it hits me.

I’m going to have to change, and it won’t be able to happen overnight. The time Shay wants to give me could be my only hope. Like her, I’m going to have to put my trust in our love to carry us through it, and then I’ll have to come up with a way to prove she’s been wrong about me. I can be the man she needs, because I know I already am.