Before Him Comes Me (13 page)

Goodnight, Little One. Sorry it’s late. I hope you have a
great first day of classes.

Zara tosses her phone on the bed after re-reading Garrett’s
text for the fifth time since waking up. Checking the mirror after changing
outfits for the twelfth time, she sees fear and doubt reflecting back at her.

Pacing, she searches her closet for a different outfit. Careful
to put everything back exactly as she finds it, no one would know she had tried
on eleven outfits before the current one. A soft knock stops Zara’s search for
the perfect first day of school outfit.

Opening the door, Liliana stands dressed once more in yoga
pants and a tee beside Beth who is holding a bouquet of daisies, a cup holder
with four coffees, a small bag and a box.

“Looks like someone is trying to start your day off with a
bang,” Liliana says as she walks into Zara’s room.

“Seriously, I’m your personal delivery bitch now. The
instructions state I am to bring them inside the dorm room. Apparently, handing
it to you in the hall is not quite good enough,” rolling her eyes, Beth makes a
grand gesture requesting to enter. “Thanks.”

Beth hands Zara the coffee carrier to better balance the
rest of her load. Liliana voluntarily removes the burden of the donuts from
Beth, leaving her with only the flowers to place on the desk.

“Will there be anything else Your Royal Highness?”

“Umm Beth, this bag has your name on it.” Liliana says
laughing.

“WHAT?”

“Oops… this coffee appears to have your name on it as well,”
Zara holds up one of the large cups from the carrier.

“Hey Beth, looks like there’s a little bit of princess in
all of us today… thanks to Zara,” Liliana takes the cup of coffee from Zara and
hands both the coffee and bag to Beth.

Beth walks to the door and pauses, “Thank you very much,
Zara.” With that, Beth disappeared down the hall back to the front desk.

“He thinks of everything,” Zara shrugs in a hushed voice.

“I take it the daisies are for you. And by the shit eating
grin on your face, I think you and this guy are more than ‘I don’t know what
we are exactly.’ I am not even going to ask because when El gets out of the
shower, you are going to get interrogated.”

As if Liliana’s words magically summon her, Ella walks
through the door singing. She stops in her tracks, mouth hanging open at the
sight of a new bunch of daisies and Liliana eating donuts. Walking to Zara,
Ella gently lifts the pendants on the necklace hanging around Zara’s neck. Zara
freezes as Ella examines each letter. Placing them back against Zara’s chest
with a light pat, Ella walks over to Liliana and takes a coffee. She picks out
a donut and gets comfortable on the bed.

Zara watches her every move and braces herself for a list of
questions, but Ella happily eats her donut, humming softly to herself.

It is near silence while all three enjoy the breakfast of
coffee and donuts. Zara and Liliana keep looking at Ella expecting an outburst
of questions, but the questions never come.

Finally, Ella stands up and walks to the door. “Be ready in
five minutes. Lil and I are walking you to your first class.”

“Ella. You do not need to worry. I found all my class
locations already.”

“Z. Five minutes. It’s your first day. You’re nervous. We’ve
been there. We’re taking you. Now… change into some comfy clothes and let’s do
this. Wait… I have something for you.”

Ella darts out of the room.

“She’s right. Everyone is nervous on the first day,” Liliana
smiles and heads over to her room to get ready to go.

Ella comes bouncing back in. “Here. It’s for your wall. You
have to put it somewhere you will see it all the time. It’ll help.”

Handing Zara a brightly colored piece of paper, Zara reads, “EVERYTHING
YOU WANT IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF YOUR FEARS.”

Zara reads the quote several times, the words getting harder
to see as the tears in her eyes well. When the first droplet hits the paper,
Zara tries to hide the fact that she is not only touched by the quote, but also
by the fact that Ella wants her to have it. Without warning, Ella grabs Zara
and gives her a hug. Zara hugs her back, squeezing her as hard as she can. Ella
returns to her room.

Zara wipes away the other tears making their escape. For the
first eighteen years of her life, she could not remember ever being hugged, yet
since making the decision to accept the opportunity Garrett presented, she had
three in just over a week.

Quickly washing her face and changing into a pair of white
shorts and a peach drape front tank, Zara takes a final look in the mirror. The
sound of her mother’s disapproving voice rings loudly in her head, “Zara Faith,
you must always be mindful that your body belongs to your Sir. It is not
appropriate to flaunt it. Until you are presented to your Sir, ask yourself if
your father would approve.”

NO! Today, I am dressing for me.

“HOLY SHIT!” Ella exclaims returning to the hallway. “You do
comfy well. Okay… sexy, hot freshman, let’s get you to your first class.”

“Too much?” Zara rushes to her closet.

“Wipe that horrified look off your face. You look amazing. We
look like straight bums walking next to you, but you look fantastic. Perfect,
in fact,” Liliana explains.

“Grab your stuff and let’s goooo,” Ella insists.

****

Zara pauses at the door of her first class to take a deep
breath and square her shoulders. She recognizes nothing in her life had
prepared her for this moment. Her stomach flip-flops with concern that the
education her mother gave her at home will not be enough to keep up with
college classes.

Zara slowly pushes the door open and makes her way to an
empty seat as more students begin to trickle in the door. Zara takes out the journal
Trudy gave her and flips past several entries to the first clean page.

I am sitting here waiting for my very first class to begin and
I wanted to thank you for giving me this opportunity. This is a completely
foreign life that you have provided for me, one I have neither training nor
preparation to navigate. I worry I will not be able to keep up with the studies.
I do not want to disappoint you.

Please know that I will do my best at this every day. I will
not waste the opportunity that you have handed me. Thank you.  

“Hey. Are you saving this seat?” Zara looks up and shakes
her head no.

“Super. I’m Nina.” Slipping past Zara to the seat on the
other side of her, Nina opens her bag and pulls out a thick notebook and a purple
pen. “I’m freaking out. I couldn’t find the class. I suck at science and what
is my very first college class? Biology. What’s your name?”

“Zara,” she responds, closing
her journal and sliding it back into her backpack.

“Zara. Ooh… I like that. Well, Zara, how are you at science?”

“I like science.”

“Score. You are my new science friend. I may need some help.
Don’t worry… I’m totally not a slacker. Science just freaks me out completely.”

The professor walks to the front of the lecture hall and begins class.
Turning to a fresh page of paper, Zara begins taking notes as the lecture gets
under way. In what seems like no time, Zara’s first class at Michigan State is
behind her.

Sitting back in her chair, Zara reviews her notes.

“WOW. Are you a professional note taker?” a guy asks as he
leans forward from the seat directly behind. “He wasn’t even supposed to
lecture today.”

Zara replies at a whisper, “No.”

“Seriously, Zara, you and I are totally setting up study
sessions together,” Nina states, packing her stuff into her bag. “Finding you
was a gift from the college gods.”

Placing her notebook back in her backpack, Zara feels a
blush begin to cover her face. Keeping her eyes cast down, Zara stands to
leave.

“Wait for me,” Nina rings out.

“Oh… okay,” Nina gathers her bag and follows Zara toward the
door.

“Ladies, wait for me,” the guy behind them calls out
stepping over a couple of girls still in their seats chatting. Both Nina and
Zara turn to wait for him to jog down the steps toward them. “I’m Ollie. Did I
hear mention of a biology study group being formed? I’m in.”

“I’m Nina… this is Zara.”

Zara stands looking back at them looking at her expectantly.

Without waiting any longer for a reply, Ollie says, “Super. We
can work out details on Wednesday. I have no idea how many chapters he covered
today, but I already feel behind.”

“He covered chapters one and two,” Zara volunteers quietly.

“Fuck… I’m already way behind,” Ollie exclaims.

“It was very nice to meet you both but I have another class.
I must get going. Thank you,” Zara says quietly.

“See ya, Zara. I’m glad I sat next to you today,” Nina tells
her with smile.

“Me too,” Zara replies softly.

On her walk to her next class, Zara smiles at how well her
first class had gone. Growing up down the street from the University of
Tennessee at Chattanooga, Zara had often watched girls walk around the campus
in small groups. She had grown up dreaming of attending college, even if for
many years, she was not sure what that really meant.

Making her way back to the dorm following classes, Zara
finds herself by the hidden garden. Walking in, she once again is overwhelmed
by its beauty. The sounds of campus become muffled until birds and bubbling water
are the only sounds Zara hears.

Zara heads down the steps to explore the garden. The lush
green grass creates a thick carpet for each step. The flower beds look
meticulously groomed and are clearly labeled with the name of each plant. Deeper
in the garden, Zara discovers an open area where a couple of people are sitting
on the grass reading quietly. Finding a spot far enough away from everyone
else, Zara sits in the grass.

Placing the backpack beside her, Zara removes the phone from
her pocket and lays it on top of the backpack. Drawing her legs to her chest,
Zara rests her cheek on her knees and wraps arms around her legs. The nerves of
the first day are over, leaving her with a longing to speak with Garrett and
tell him about her classes.

“Stop it, Zara. This is an incredible opportunity. You are
where you always wanted to be… COLLEGE!! Stop with the ‘I need a connection’
with someone. First day of class, and already you have been asked to form a
study group. Liliana and Ella wanted to walk you to your first class. You are
in college. This is your life now. All you have now is you,” she mutters to
herself under her breath.

Zara runs her fingers though the grass. Memories of her
waking up the morning after the Ceremony in Michigan begin to flood her
thoughts and, for the first time since arriving on campus, Zara allows herself
the freedom to think about them.

The vibration of an incoming calls jolts Zara from the beach
house back to the hidden garden. As Zara sits daydreaming, her phone rings.

Releasing her grasp on the pendant, Zara picks up her phone
and answers quietly, “Hello.”

“Little One, is everything okay? Are you back at your room?”

“I am on my way back there now.” Zara explains standing to
quickly make her way to the garden entrance. “Everything is fine. Thank you.”

“How’d classes go?”

“Very well. Liliana and Ella walked me to my first class. I
met some fellow students to study with in biology. Thank you for breakfast. We
all enjoyed it.”

Garrett chuckled, “You’re welcome. Sounds like you had a
good first day. Why did you sound so sad when you first answered the phone?”

“I was just deep in thought. The phone call startled me,” Zara
says in a hushed voice.

“Mhmm… Do you wish to share what you were thinking about so
deeply?”

“I was thinking about my first day at your beach house. It
is hard to believe it has only been one week since…”

“Since your life went in a completely unexpected direction,”
Zara nods as Garrett finishes her thought. “Zara, do you remember what I told
you when I gave you the pendants that night?” Zara’s thoughts traveled back to
her first night at the beach house when Garrett gave her the pendant.

“Zara! Zara! Are you alright?” Garrett booms in her ear.

Startled, Zara is suddenly alarmed by car horns and people
shouting.

“Zara!” Liliana yells running full speed toward her. Still
holding the phone to her ear to hear Garrett firing questions about what is
happening and who is there while Liliana wraps her arm around her and walks her
across the street and up to the dorm.

“Zara, come on. Let’s get you out of here. What’s going on? You
look lost. Who is on the phone?”

“Garrett,” Zara whispers.

“Great. Can I say hi and thank him for the coffee this
morning?” Liliana asks gently reaching for the phone.

“Little One, go inside and let me talk to your friend for a
minute.”

Zara nods and hands Liliana the phone and continues into her
room.

Closing the door, Zara sets her backpack on her desk and
goes to the window. Hoping to find Garett parked beneath one of the big trees
and on his phone talking to Liliana, a flood of disappointment fills Zara at
not seeing him.

A knock at the door rouses her from the window. Zara
plasters a smile on her face before opening it.

“Hey, Z. Here is your phone back. Garrett has a meeting but
said he will call you later. What the fuck happened today? Why were you in the
middle of the street?”

Taking the phone, Zara steps aside and Liliana comes into
her room making herself at home. “Better me than El, you know that, right?”

Zara closes the door and takes a seat on the bed. “I was
deep in thought and lost track of where I was. All of a sudden the horns and
yelling started and I froze.” Exhaling, Zara looks off into the space of the
room.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. It was a stressful day,” Zara responds in a soft,
clear voice.