Before the Darkness (Refuge Inc.) (16 page)

neck, panting and grunting with each thrust.

Elliot's hands caressed his shoulders, his back

and ass. They were rubbing, gripping and

scratching at his lesh making him tingle with

pleasure. Adam breathed in Elliot's scent. The

smell of a hot, aroused man turned him on more

than ever. His thrusts began to change from

short and rhythmic to long and hard, and it all

felt amazing.

He nibbled Elliot's skin and a warm

wetness brushed the side of his face, stealing his

attention. He lifted his head to once again look

down into Elliot's eyes. Tears ran down the

sides of Elliot's face to puddle in his ears. Elliot

stared back at him. Neither said a word. Adam

thoughtlessly kissed the tears away.

"I don't want to die," Elliot whispered.

"Not now that I found you."

"Sshh." Adam kissed him; alternating

between sucking Elliot's bruised lips and licking

his sweet tongue. "Let me help you forget."

Adam picked up the pace, rocking and

thrusting. The momentum caused the bed to

rock back and forth and Adam to pant and moan

with his thrusts. Elliot's head went back,

exposing his neck, his eyes squeezed shut and

his mouth opened slightly. Adam felt Elliot ist

the bed sheet on either side of him, pulling at it.

Adam lowered his head and sucked and gently

bit the hot lesh on the side of Elliot's neck. Elliot

cried out, moaning and groaning as Adam

pressed on. Adam could no longer hold it in. He

let go and forcefully released while deep inside

of his favorite place. Elliot soon followed. Warm

wetness splashed between their bodies, creating

a pleasurable yet sticky mess.

Breathing hard, Adam attempted to catch

his breath and get his vision back fully. He rolled

over onto the mattress, eyes closed.

"Thank you," Elliot panted. "I can sleep

better now."

8: Dust to Dust

Elliot awoke to a dank smell that

suddenly caught in his throat as he breathed. He

coughed, struggling to catch his breath. Even

Titan, who lay in the corner of the room, hid his

nose under his paw from the harsh smell.

"What is that?" Elliot sat up in bed and

looked through the splintered glass of the

broken sliding doors and saw brownish dust

blowing into the room through the small

opening.

"No idea what that is." Adam got up from

the bed and wiped the sleep from his eyes as he

and Elliot quickly got dressed. He went to the

broken door, picked up a handful of the dust

and pressed it in his ist. They both were

surprised to see the ine, smelly, dry material

mold together under the pressure of his grip

like a batch of clay. Adam shined the lashlight

outside into the darkness. Elliot could see tiny

lakes of the material falling from the sky and

shimmer in the beam of light like snow. "What's

going on?" Was this it? Was this Death itself

creeping upon them?

Adam looked at the residue on his hand.

"This stuff is dry and loose but sticky at the

same time. If we breathe this in—"

"We just won't go out there." Elliot

blinked, shaking his head.

Adam mimicked him by shaking his head

too. "We can't just stay here. No one's looking

for us. No one knows that we even exist, let

alone that we need help. We need to ind Refuge

Inc."

"What if there's no Refuge Inc.?" Elliot

threw his hands up. "Has that crossed your

mind? Then what?"

"There has to be." Adam scoffed. "Who

would put all the effort into printing and passing

out lyers and painting billboards all over

Phoenix? Who would do that?"

"Maybe the question you should ask is,

'
why
would someone do that?'" Elliot's ingers

drummed against the sides of his thighs. "What

if Refuge Inc.
is
some sort of sick hoax like the

old man said, put on by sick people that want to

send you on a wild goose chase for nothing?

What if they were a refuge and meant well but

are now doing no better than us? What if it's

just another hospital somewhere were there's

no medicine and it's illed with people like us

waiting around for help that's never coming? Or

worse, waiting to die."

Adam picked up his pack and dug inside.

"Guess there's only one way to find out."

Elliot grimaced at the back pack. "What

are you doing?"

"I'm leaving some food with you so I can

go look for help. It's not much."

"What are you talking about? You're

gonna leave me here?"

"I can move faster and get farther by

myself. Plus, you can watch over Edna and

Harold until I get back." Adam handed Elliot a

handful of broken granola bars in their

individual packages. "That's all I got. I'll keep the

dried fruit." Titan didn't provide adequate help

carrying the grocery bag full of packaged beef

jerky while Adam assisted Elliot in their trek to

the hospital, so he left it and the orange juice

behind.

Elliot pushed his hand away and scowled.

"No. You're not leaving. You want to die, is that

what you want? 'Cause that's what you're gonna

get if you go out there."

"No, that's what's gonna happened to all

of us if we stay here and do nothing." Adam

moved forward with the bars in his hand. "Now,

take these."

Elliot backed away. "I said no. No!"

"Fuck, Elliot. I'm doing this for us, don't

you get it?" He threw the handful of granola

bars onto the empty bed.

"And I'm trying to protect you. The best

thing for us to do is stay put. We're safer here.

We're safe from everything out there."

"No, we're not. Soon the dust will get in

here and we'll be breathing that stuff in. We'll

run out of food and water. Your leg will get

worse. The backup electricity will go out for

good. Hell, we'll probably be forced to eat Titan

or turn to cannibalism just to stay alive, who

knows." His jaw tightened with tension.

"Don't say that." Elliot refused to hide his

disgust. He let it hover in his voice. "That's not

funny."

"It's not a joke." Adam gave him serious

eyes, a no nonsense look. "We're gonna have to

do all we can to survive and that starts with me

inding this Refuge Inc. and getting us all some

help." He stared at Elliot unblinking. "You

understand?"

"I understand that I will never see you

again, if that's what you mean."

"Jesus." Visibly annoyed, Adam shook his

head, gave Elliot a quick peck on the cheek,

threw his pack over his shoulder and made his

way to the door.

"Fine," Elliot cried out. He balled his ists

and dug his fingernails into his palm, straining to

hold back tears in response to the kiss that felt

like nothing more than the goodbye it was. "Go

save the world, Midnight Man. Go ind refuge

and medicine and make it all better for us poor,

suffering folks. I bet that magical place has all we

need; all the medicine known to man, all the hot

food we can eat, showers too—no, hot tubs,

tons of them for you to fuck in. Everything we

ever wanted."

Adam didn't turn around. He didn't do

anything but attempt to make the opening to the

door a bit wider so he could squeeze through

comfortably, pulling and tugging on the warped

metal frame that held the splintered glass.

"Maybe that's a sign," Elliot said angrily.

"Maybe that's a sign telling you to stay here."

"I'm leaving, Elliot," Adam said, still trying

to pull open the doors wider. "I'll be back with

help. I promise."

"No, you won't." Elliot felt it in his heart,

in his bones, in the air. Adam wasn't coming

back. Before he could say another word he saw

his own hands on Adam's shoulders forcefully

pulling him away from the door and its twisted

metal frame. It was as if he were watching a

projection of himself acting out—taking hold of

Adam's back pack, and pulling, yanking with all

his might—but had no control over it.

Adam squirmed, trying to free himself

from Elliot's grip. Calmly he demanded, "Let me

go."

"No, you're not going out there." Elliot

tugged and jerked, grunting through clenched

teeth and wheezing in the struggle. Titan's quick

barks echoed throughout the room as they

scuffled.

"No, I'm leaving. Now let me go, Elliot!"

Adam shrugged, turned and lurched forward,

pushing Elliot back. Elliot stumbled and fell to

the loor on his ass, twisting his injured leg in

the process.

"Fuck." Elliot grimaced in pain. "My

fucking leg."

"Sorry." Adam rushed to his side along

with Titan who immediately began licking Elliot's

face. "Here, take my hand. I didn't mean to—"

"You asshole!" Elliot quickly stood and

swung his ist, connecting it to Adam's right

temple. Adam grunted and spun around with the

force of the punch. He kept his back to Elliot and

brought his hand to the side of his face. Elliot

sniffed. He swore he heard Adam sniff too.

"Leave. Go on, leave. Just like everyone else who

betrayed me and gave up on me. Just leave."

Adam adjusted the pack on his back,

switched on the lashlight, pulled the collar of

his shirt over his nose and mouth, and without

even a glimpse over his shoulder he slipped out

of the door and into the darkness. Elliot was

more than sure he wouldn’t see him again. The

darkness had already taken him.

9: Refuge or Rescue

The dust wasn't as bad as Adam initially

thought. It fell slowly, sporadically, and there

was less of it than he originally believed. The

clumps near the hospital door must have

collected there over time and the crevices made

it dif icult for it to blow away. He had realized he

didn't need to shield his face so he let go of the

collar of his shirt a while ago.

Heading in the direction they came from

and shining the lashlight at any and all debris

that he passed, he looked for more painted R's.

Maybe he had missed some on the way to the

hospital. Stepping over gravel and litter and

hearing only the soft echo of the crunch made

him realize how lonely he was. His irst instinct

was to look back over his shoulder at the

hospital where he'd left Elliot, Titan and the

elderly couple. Some of the hospital windows

shone with a dim yellow light. He felt better

instantly.

Bringing Titan along would have been a

good idea. Even though he would be without a

back and forth conversation, he would've still

had someone to talk to. Titan wouldn't want to

come along anyway, the way the dog had barked

at him during his and Elliot's little scuf le told

him who the dog sided with. Even though there

were no sides, just two scared men reacting to

trauma. Besides, initially he had attempted to

put the dog out of his misery. If it wasn't for

Elliot, he might've gone through with it and

would've regretted it as well. Maybe Titan

remembered that incident too and had picked

Elliot's side then, long before their scuf le. Either

way, Titan never meant any harm. He knew that

now and was pleased Elliot had intervened.

Approaching the place he had seen the

last R, he slowed his pace. He had walked about

a mile from Arrowhead Hospital and although

the arrow pointed the direction he was going, it

drew him further from the hospital, Elliot, and

the old couple. How long would he have to walk

until he found this place? And as Elliot had put it,

what would he do if this place didn't exist? But

Refuge Inc. had to be something important. Who

would put themselves through so much for a

prank, and at a time when lives were at stake? It

was inevitable he'd find
something
.

The rotten smell lingered in the air and