Before Time (The Time Trilogy Book 1) (19 page)

Impassioned:
TIME is the healer of every wound, warmer of every heart and feeling, enforcer of every truth which you didn’t believe. TIME is the secret to having all the feelings back that you lost once. It is the GREATEST TEACHER.

ME:
I don’t want to soften up.

Impassioned:
It will happen as nature meant it to happen, no matter how hard you want to become. Give life sometime to adjust.

ME:
Adjust, huh?

Impassioned:
You can never listen to anyone while you’ve blocked everything you feel, like I did, and as you are doing right now. Only time will unblock those portals.

ME:
For more than two years now, I have had this peculiar feeling that something wonderful is going to happen. I can feel it in my breath and in the air, but it never shows itself to me. Maybe I’m naïve.

Impassioned:
Determination, strength, courage; all that is CRAP. The reality is that “TIME” is the healer.

Only two years? ONLY TWO? People face cancer, AIDS, and diseases that are incurable. They are waiting for life to return for YEARS, and it never comes back. It will never come back. You were good, you eat well, and you have been waiting for two years on your soft bed, in full health, for a miracle to happen? Have you looked at others who don’t have anything and who still haven’t lost hope. ONLY TWO YEARS?

Tears sprang to my eyes as he misinterpreted my “something wonderful” and thought that I was talking about something else. He didn’t even understand what I had been saying, but just attacked me, leaving me hurt and bleeding.

Impassioned:
Don’t wait. Let it go. It will happen when it’s supposed to happen. Do not wish for a Prince Charming to come on a white horse for your rescue; there is no such thing. Compromise if you have to for something less than your expectation. In two years, a person learns nothing; it takes a decade to understand life. Do not underestimate yourself.

No! I won’t compromise. I want a fairy tale story with my knight in shining armor. Who was he to tell me otherwise?? I will NEVER EVER COMPROMISE.

ME:
I’m not underestimating myself, but sometimes my heart is not into anything and I get irritated.

Impassioned:
In two years, a bachelor’s degree can’t be finished. And yet you understood life in two years? And even believe that nothing is going to change?

I wanted to scream.
You are dense, Impassioned. You don’t have an imagination at all.

ME:
I’m not saying that I understood life in two years.

Impassioned:
For more than two years that wonderful miracle didn’t happen. What is that wonderful miracle anyway? A guy?

ME:
No, not a guy! It’s happiness, something happy. I don’t know but it is something.

Impassioned:
No matter how rich/determined/educated/courageous one person is, we ALL lose positivity in dark times. It has to come back, but it doesn’t matter how much you wait; it will be written only once it’s written by fate. Focuses on your studies, your family, and keep yourself busy. Life is still very attractive; blocking all ways coming towards you and thinking you are sad and lethargic will never let you feel another way. Trust me please. People have done more and made worst mistakes than you have done.

ME:
Trust you?

Impassioned:
Trust me.

Well, truth be told, I did trust him blindly. I understood him as well, as I knew he would never lie or hurt me.

ME:
I’m hopeless.

Impassioned:
I was too. I still am in some ways; YET I recovered, due to TIME.

ME:
You’re so strong.

Impassioned:
I will ask you if I ever see you when you’re 26, which is six years from now. Then I will see how you are.

ME:
I can never be like you.

Impassioned:
I’m weaker than everyone else.

ME:
You’re not weak, you just don’t realize it.

Impassioned:
I will meet you one day, and then I will show you. What I am now, I wasn’t before. TIME changed me.

ME:
I’m looking forward to that, and then I will make you see yourself as I see you.

Impassioned:
INSHALLAH.

ME:
INSHALLAH. :)

There was a pause in our chat then as I went upstairs to get myself a glass of water. I was thirsty.

Impassioned:
Just a couple of months ago, I was planning to spend my vacation in Australia, but a few days back, I changed my plans.

ME:
Why did you?

Impassioned:
Because you’re not there.

Me? What was that supposed to mean?

ME:
So what? You should do what you want to do.

Impassioned:
I will sit with you all night if I can, in a locked room, and look into your eyes, keep you safe in my arms without a single inch of room to spare, yet you will not see lust in my eyes or disruption in my breath. I will show you respect, and I will show you that all men are not equal.

That was the sweetest thing that he’d ever said to me, and at that moment, I knew I was safe with him. He would never ask anything preposterous like having sex with him from me. He would understand even before I would’ve replied to him.

ME:
Hmmm…

Impassioned:
Most of all, I will show your heart that it can beat again and that it can be warm again.

I felt warm all over. Did he really mean that? Would he do all this for me? Only me? It wasn’t possible.

ME:
I’m speechless once again.

Impassioned:
Just a few months.

It was like he was reassuring me that he would be here in few months.

ME:
You’re coming here because I’m here?

Impassioned:
Can you tolerate it if I don’t answer that question because it will be uncomfortable?

ME:
No. It’s going to keep pinching me to know the answer.

Impassioned:
Well, I had no one else in Pakistan to go to. That’s why I planned to go to Australia. But now I have someone there, so I should go back to my father’s country.

ME:
Why? Where is the rest of your family?

Impassioned:
England.

ME:
Why don’t you visit them?

Impassioned:
I do, and I will.

ME:
I see.

Impassioned:
I work for eleven months in a foreign land and still fulfill all obligations of being a son; the twelfth month, I deserve to be with myself.

ME:
Of course you need time for yourself.

Impassioned:
Will you make me feel myself again?

Of course, I would give him my eyes if I have to for him to start living his life again. I felt that there were no colors in his life. I wanted him to see those from my eyes. I wanted to take him places, watch him laugh with me at the stupidest of things, and I wanted to go picking flowers like a stupid girl with him. I wanted to see the sun set on the horizon and I wanted him to be with me, just with me nothing more. I couldn’t explain all that to him because he wouldn’t believe me. After all, why would he? We met on mIRC, where you couldn’t trust anyone, but we trusted each other. We could bring our friendship to the real world.

ME:
Yes, I can make you see life from my eyes.

Impassioned:
:)

ME:
I have a lot of confidence in that.

Impassioned:
If you are confident that you can change me, then you will have to change yourself first.

ME:
Change myself?

Now, what did he mean by that?

Impassioned:
I won’t explain that.

ME:
You don’t have to.

Impassioned:
I don’t have the strength to stay away from you anymore.

ME:
Then don’t!

Impassioned:
:) How different a feeling it is to stay on the main stream and then say it here.

ME:
Of course. On the main stream, I just thought it was chatter without any meaning.

Impassioned:
It was never mere chat, and still isn’t. Only you understood it now.

I smiled.

ME:
Yes, I guess so.

Impassioned:
Onaiza!

ME:
Yes?

Impassioned:
Asher!

Oh!! He was finally telling me his name. Wow! Just wow!

ME:
Nice to meet your, Asher :)

Impassioned:
Orgasm is all mine. Oh, I meant pleasure is all mine :)

Ugh! Kill him!
I blushed.

ME:
Laugh out loud!

Impassioned:
Damn, I can’t type today.

ME:
Why not?

Impassioned:
I don’t know.

ME:
Shivering?

Impassioned:
Don’t make excuses to come into my arms.

ME:
I’m not making excuses, I’m just asking you.

Impassioned:
No! My hands never shiver :) They are firm.

Err… Okay!! I didn’t want to know that.

ME:
Good. *Thinks*

I laughed.

Impassioned:
About what?

ME:
Nothing. *Hides*

Impassioned:
Bad girl.

ME:
What did I do?

Impassioned:
That’s the problem; you didn’t do anything.

ME:
I’ve heard that before.

Impassioned:
Now, where should I find new lines for you? You must’ve heard every one of them, because around 10,000 people try to flirt with you or woo you, but only one person is successful. Someone who is like me.